I watched her as she read it, her mouth silently moving along as she read the words. It was in a script-type scrawl: the sun is finally shining. It was over my heart, which was fitting since she owned it.
“It’s perfect.” She looked up at me, tears in her eyes. “I want one, too. When you get back, you’ll take me. Got it?”
“You want ink?”
“I do. I want that one.” She ran her fingers over it gently, making sure not to hurt me. It was still raised and red and covered in the antibacterial goo, but I didn’t tell her not to touch it. I didn’t give a damn. “That same exact one.”
“Then you’ll have it.” I kissed her gently. After grabbing her hand, I helped her to her feet and hugged her tight, my heart hammering away at the idea of her walking away from me. “But now you have to go. Don’t miss me too much while I’m gone.”
“I’m not making any promises.” She buried her face in my chest. “Hey, where are the rest of my clothes?”
“Under the bed. You can hang them back up once your parents are gone.”
“I will.” She hugged me tighter, obviously as reluctant as me to let go. “Do I have to go?”
I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell her she could stay, her father be damned. But I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, even if it felt like it right now. “You do.”
“But the sun is finally shining,” she said, her voice muffled because she had her face pressed against my bare chest.
My heart fisted painfully, making it hard to breathe. “It really fucking is.” My fingers flexed on her, but I forced myself to let go. “I’ll follow you from a distance, okay?”
“Okay.” She bit her lip. “But it’s only a two-minute walk to my car. I’ll be fine.”
“The day I let you walk around at night by yourself is the day I’ll be dead in a coffin.” Which reminded me… “Are you going to the soup kitchen with Marie?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I think so. I have tons of McDonald’s gift cards sitting in my room.”
“That’s fine, but leave before dark—no matter what.” I shooed her out the door. “Now get that perfect ass walking out that door so I can follow you.”
She gave me one last longing look, then opened the door and left without another word. I silently slid out of my apartment about ten seconds later and followed her. She didn’t acknowledge my existence, but she knew I was there.
When she got in her car—which turned out to be a used 2003 Mercedes SL500—and drove off, she craned her neck to watch me until I worried she’d crash into a telephone pole. I had to tackle the desire to chase after her car and drag her back to my apartment where she fucking belonged.
I leaned against the wall in the alleyway and closed my eyes. I couldn’t believe how much a man could change in the blink of an eye. Before her, I didn’t want a relationship or love. I wanted to focus on work and life before settling down, if I ever did. Now, all I could think about was love and marriage and babies and all the shit that came when you signed your heart away to another person. And yet, amidst all of the dreams, hopes, and desires, I knew that this time tomorrow…
I would find out whether our love would withstand what the world was going to throw our way.
Carrie
I crept up the stairs to my dorm, my heart racing as I hid in the shadows. I was fairly certain Dad’s guards hadn’t caught on to my ruse, but with them, you never knew. They were all sneaky bastards that made a living off following you around. And they were good at it, too. After all, Dad only hired the best.
I slipped into my dorm room, closing the door behind me quietly. As I leaned against it, I pulled out my phone and shot off a quick text to Finn to let him know I got home all right. He replied immediately, wishing me a good night, and I closed my eyes, holding my phone to my chest.
Going to see him had been a risky move.
But he was leaving tomorrow morning, and I’d missed him, and it had to happen. I was terrified that once he showed up tomorrow, he wouldn’t be coming back. Scared that something or someone wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t leave me.
I pushed off the door and crossed the room quietly. I peeked in the direction of Marie’s bed, but it was empty. Guess I didn’t have to be so quiet. I flopped back on the bed and looked up at the dark ceiling. I should probably shower or something, but I didn’t want to move.
I kept replaying the short visit with Finn over and over in my head, like a baby’s lullaby. He’d actually gotten a tattoo for us. That was huge for him. We didn’t talk much about his tattoos, but I knew each one had a special meaning behind it. He didn’t mindlessly ink himself.
And he’d put me there. Me.
I’d have to decide where to get mine. I hadn’t been kidding about that. I wanted one just like his. Maybe on my wrist? Oh, God. Dad would flip. I might be braver and a little bit more rebellious now, but not so much so that I’d go that far. It would have to be in a hidden spot. One Dad wouldn’t have to look at. Maybe my hip?
I didn’t know. All I knew was I needed one.
Just like I needed Finn to come back home to me, as soon as possible. I closed my eyes and for the first time in years…I prayed.
I shifted in the fake leather chair, tapping my foot in a rhythm that even I didn’t recognize. All I knew was the longer I sat here, staring at the receptionist as she typed on her computer, the more impatient I got. If the receptionist sighed and clicked her mouse one more time, I might throw the damn thing out the window.
I’d gotten here at oh-eight-hundred sharp, but when I arrived on base, no one had known what the hell I was doing there. It wasn’t a drill weekend—which I already knew—and no one else had been called in for duty. After a few phone calls, they’d sent me to this office, and I’d been counting fucking sheep in my head ever since.
Oh, and it wasn’t my commanding officer who wanted to see me. It was Captain Richards who wanted me, aka the commanding officer of the whole fucking company. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what he might want. I checked my watch, frowning when I saw it was already noon. How long were they going to leave me here doing shit?
The receptionist sighed and clicked again, and I narrowed my eyes at her. She wore pearls and a gray dress, and those glasses that women seemed to wear when they wanted to look smart. Her red lips were pursed, and she tapped her manicured nails on the mahogany desk.
The inactivity was getting to me. I didn’t do sitting well, and I’d been sitting all damn morning. I was this close to lying on the floor to do a round of push-ups when the office door opened.
Captain Richards stepped out, and I stood at attention, saluting him and waiting for him to speak to me first, staring straight ahead at nothing.
“Sergeant, thank you for coming on your off weekend,” he said.
I didn’t move a muscle. “Good afternoon, sir.”
Captain Richards studied my posture before stepping to the side. “At ease, sergeant. You may come in.”
“Thank you, sir.” I relaxed fractionally and nodded to him as I headed his way. “And I’m more than happy to be at your service.”
Even if I had no clue what that service was.
He followed me in and shut the door behind us, making his way to his desk. “Well, you’re probably wondering what you’re here for.” Captain Richards sat down behind his desk, motioning for me to sit in the wood chair in front of it. “And why I wanted to see you.”
I perched on the edge of the chair, keeping my back straight. “I will admit to a certain level of curiosity, sir.”
“Tell me, sergeant.” Captain Richards rested his elbows on his desk and steepled his fingers. “Do you like being a Marine?”
“Of course, sir.”
“Excellent.” He tapped his fingers together, really slowly. “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”
Well, if that wasn’t a loaded question I’d never heard one.
A few months ago, before Carrie, I would have had an easy answer. I’d be a Marine,
and I’d still be guarding Senator Wallington. But now? It wasn’t so clear-cut. In ten years, I’d hopefully still be with Carrie. Maybe we’d be married? Shit, I didn’t know.
And more importantly? Why the hell did he care?
I cleared my throat. “I would imagine I’ll be working in security, sir. Maybe something to do with computers. I’ve been thinking about getting my degree.”
“What is your MOS now?”
“I’m a mortar man, sir.”
“A grunt.” He arched a brow. “So you want to go from infantry to a commissioned officer? Is that correct?”
“It’s quite possibly my goal, yes, sir.” I shifted in my chair, clutching my knees. “I’ve recently re-evaluated my life, sir, and am in the midst of trying to figure it out.”
“Ah.” His jaw squared off. “What caused this re-evaluation, if I might ask?”
My heartbeat thumped in my ears, louder than drums. “Sir? Why do you ask, if you don’t mind my asking?”
His eyes narrowed on me. He was pulling rank on me. I knew it before he even opened his mouth. “Answer my questions, and maybe I’ll answer yours.”
“Sir, yes, sir.” I cleared my throat, hating the fact that I had to sit here like a puppet while this man interrogated me, but it came with the dog tags. Obedience. Discipline. Respect. “I met a girl, sir.”
“Might I ask this girl’s name?” The captain reclined in his seat and crossed his ankle over his knee. “I do believe I’m acquainted with her father.”
I must’ve blacked out for a second. God knows I felt as if he punched me in the fucking chest. He knew Senator Wallington? Well, there you go. Now I knew why I was here. Her father knew and sent me into a situation where I couldn’t possibly lie.
God damn it.
I tried to remain calm on the outside, even if I was flipping the fuck out on the inside. “You know the Wallingtons, sir?”
“I do. Carrie is a sweet girl.” He looked out the window for a second, then turned those piercing brown eyes back on me. “I’ve known her since she was in diapers.”
I nodded, but didn’t say anything.
“You’re probably curious how I know.”
I shifted on the seat. “Yes, sir.”
“Her father asked me to track you. To make sure you were doing your job.” Captain Richards eyed me. “Do you feel you’re doing a good job, sergeant?”
“I feel she wouldn’t be safer with anyone else watching her, sir.” I met his eyes, refusing to flinch or back down. “I would guard her with my life.”
“Would you do that even if you didn’t love her?”
“Yes, sir.” I tapped my fingers on my knees, but made myself stop. “It’s my job. I take that responsibility very seriously.”
“So if you were to guard another young woman, one whom you didn’t love, you would still guard her to the best of your abilities?”
I blinked at him. “Yes, sir. I would.”
“I heard about what you did when Carrie was almost robbed. Those were some impressive moves.”
My cheeks heated up. “I was simply doing my job, sir.”
“My man came home right afterward to tell me how impressed he was.” Captain Richards raised his brow. “Keep in mind, he’s a black belt in karate, among other things.”
I bit down on my tongue, trying to figure out where the hell he was going with this. “I’m flattered, sir.”
“Does her father know you love her?”
I swallowed hard. “No, sir.”
“Why not?”
“We’re waiting, sir.” I gripped my knees even tighter. “My father is about to retire, and Carrie and I decided to hold off until after the fact.”
“Ah.” He nodded, his lips pursed in thought. “You’re afraid he will withhold funds from your father?”
“Yes, sir,” I admitted, sweat dripping down the back of my neck and rolling under the collar of my cammies. I wanted to yank at the collar, but I sat perfectly still. “That was our fear.”
“Our fear?” He eyed me. “Carrie is in on this?”
Should I deny it? I didn’t want her to catch any flak for my lies. But this was a captain in the Marines. I couldn’t fucking lie. It’s not the way the military worked. “Sir, I’d rather not say.”
He considered me. “You’re protecting her?”
“Sir.” I didn’t say anything else, but I didn’t need to. My point was clear. I wouldn’t be saying another word against the woman I loved.
He chuckled under his breath. “You know, I think he would approve if he saw you protecting her from me of all people.”
I inclined my head. “Is this why I’m here, sir? Are you going to tell him about us before my father retires?”
“What?” He shook his head. “No. He doesn’t know about you. But I do.”
I wanted to ask him how or why, but it wasn’t my place. This wasn’t the civilian life where I was entitled to answers. Here, I got them if and when I deserved to hear them. “You’re a smart man, captain.”
“Indeed. You know what else I know?”
I’d love to fucking know. “Sir?”
“I believe you love her, and would do anything to protect her.” He leaned forward again. The man was more fidgety than a fucking teenager. “Somewhere along the way, you fell for her, and she fell for you. Am I right?”
I tensed. It was none of his business. “Sir.”
“You don’t have to treat me as an enemy, son.” He stood up and walked over to the window. “I have a proposition for you.”
“I’d love to hear it, sir.”
I wanted to get up and pace as I waited, but I sat on the chair like a fucking invalid. And worse? I felt like one. This man knew all of my secrets, and he didn’t hesitate to air them in front of me like dirty laundry.
“Did you know how hard it is to get out of the infantry? Lots try, but it takes a hell of a long time and a lot of letters of recommendation.”
“I did know it wouldn’t be an easy move, yes.”
I bit down on my tongue to keep from asking what his point was. If I couldn’t make the move, then I’d get out. Go civilian. I’d thought it through. I had a plan.
I wasn’t an idiot.
“I can help you make the move you need. One signature from me, and you’re moving up the ranks.” He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “It would be a simple matter.”
I stiffened. I think I had an idea where this was going. “Sir…”
“Your unit is up for deployment soon,” he said, cocking his head. “You will go overseas, away from Carrie, if you don’t accept my help.”
“I’m flattered and honored for the offer, sir,” I said through my teeth. “However, with all due respect, I’d like to hear the cost of this favor before I accept.”
Because everything came with a price.
And if he said what I thought he was going to say, it would take all my self-control not to punch him in the mouth, fucking C.O. or not.
He nodded. “You’re a smart boy. I like that about you.”
“Thank you, sir,” I said stiffly.
“The cost isn’t much.” He uncrossed his arms. “Stop seeing Carrie.”
I stood up, rage making me see red. I’d known—known—this is what he would say, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to punch him in the fucking face. “No, thank you, sir.”
I only made it one step to the door before he spoke again. “Don’t you dare leave my office without leave, sergeant. You will hear me out. Sit down, boy.”
I clenched my fists and turned back, sitting even though I didn’t want to. “With all due respect, sir, I will not accept those terms. I will stop seeing Carrie if she asks me to. Other than that, I am not open to discussion.”
“Not even to advance your own life?”
I clenched my fists so tight if hurt. “Not even to save my own life, sir.”
“Good.” He sat back down, his lips pressed tight. “Now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on
to the real proposition.”
I blinked at him. “Sir?”
“I wanted to make sure you really love her before I offered you this opportunity.” He picked up his coffee mug, which said World’s Best Daddy on it, and took a sip. “You obviously do, so I feel comfortable in offering you the chance of a lifetime.”
“You’re saying you were testing me?”
“Indeed. And you passed.” He set the mug down. “Now we can talk business.”
I stood up again. “Sir, what do you want from me?”
“I want you to sit down.”
For a second, I considered walking out. Not sitting. But the years of military discipline wouldn’t fucking let me. So I sat. “Sir.”
“I’ll tell you everything. It involves doing something similar to what you’re doing now, but with a huge reward.”
“And what would that be, sir?”
He pursed his lips. “You’ll find out. But first?” He picked up a pen and shoved a piece of paper at me. “Sign on the dotted line.”
I eyed the paper. “I don’t sign anything without reading it first, sir.”
“Then by all means, read it.” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his fingers over his stomach. “I’ll wait.”
I picked up the paper, scanning it quickly. By the time I was finished, I looked up at him, my eyes wide. This was a mission. A huge mission I didn’t think I should be reading about, hence the top-secret security clearance application I could see sitting on the desk. “Sir, is this what I think it is?”
“It is. And I can give you all the knowledge you need to pull it off if you sign.”
I picked up the pen, hesitated, and signed on the line.
Saturday evening I shoveled more food onto a man’s plate. I usually came to the soup kitchen on Sundays, but I was trying to keep myself as busy as possible. This time I’d dragged Marie with me. Speaking of which…
I met her eyes from across the room. She made a face at me and I nodded discreetly. It was time to go. There were only a few people here and it was getting dark. It had been a heck of a day. I’d said goodbye to my parents and then studied English with Cory for a few hours.
The OUT OF LINE Series Page 31