“What? They won’t like my birthday suit?”
“No, but I do,” he said, undressing.
“I thought we were leaving. Why are you taking your clothes off?”
“If you have to ask, then I’m not giving you the right cues, madam.” He wiggled his brows.
Because of my classes and clinical rotations, I didn’t see Mr. Lawrence or Dane again until Thursday’s treatment, but I got several messages and texts from Dane to pacify me during the time apart.
We left straight from work to the arena for the game. I was so excited I could barely sit still in the car on the way. I’d never been to a real game, and I think I told him that several times. He was wearing a Stars jersey, and I was jealous, so the minute we got into the arena, I made him find me a vendor selling sweatshirts.
It wasn’t a hard task; they were everywhere. The bigger decision was which one to pick. Geez, there were way too many choices. I finally chose the one and went to slip off my sweatshirt. I thought he was going to have a heart attack.
“What are you doing?”
“Putting on my new shirt.”
“In public?”
“I have a tank top covering the girls. Don’t panic.”
I loved how protective he was, and it was a sweet move. We went to our seats and he was right, they were right off the glass and just to the side of the Stars bench. When the team came out for warm ups, I almost lost my voice yelling.
I barely sat down the first period. The second period, Dane and I huddled arm-to-arm and got caught by the Kiss-Cam. I didn’t care. It was a carefree moment, and we waved to the camera after our public smooch.
When the game went into overtime, it was intense, and the Stars finally pulled out a win, scoring first and taking the opposition four to three. The crowd roared. It was so much fun. I loved the fights, the cold, the excitement, and being with Dane.
He’d given me yet another amazing experience that week, and it was something to feel special. There was such a comfortableness to his sweet spirit.
We sat out in front of my house, holding hands, talking, and not wanting to say goodnight.
“I want to give you a heads up that I have to leave for China next weekend. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you.”
“I understand it’s your job. Well then, let’s make the best of the time we have. You want to come in?”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
When we walked in, I found Karina in the living room, and she squealed when Dane came up behind me. One, because she was sitting on the sofa eating cereal in a sweatshirt and panties, and two, because I brought a guy home. She knew me and my hang-ups. Of course, she’d listened to me talk about Dane day and night, but it wasn’t like she knew him enough to be half-naked in his presence.
“Hey, guys.” She grabbed at the throw on the corner of the sofa.
“Karina, you remember Dane, right.”
“Dane, nice to see you. Do you mind covering your eyes while I go get some clothes on?”
“No, not all.” He laughed out loud, but did as she asked.
I leaned in to him as he propped himself in the archway that led from our kitchen to the drop-down den. “She’s going to kill me.”
“No, she won’t. She’ll be happy for you.” He winked.
I lucked out winning the coin toss when Karina and I moved in. I got the master bedroom, and Karina’s room was on the other end of the house. Good thing because Dane and I both tended to be a bit noisy sometimes.
I took him to my bedroom, but he turned back toward the door. “I’ll be right back. I need to run to the store.”
“What do you need? I might have it.” Thinking he was referring to toiletries.
“Condoms.”
“Oh, I see. I don’t have any, but I’m on the pill.”
“Okay, if you’re sure?”
I nodded my head. “Want to check my pack?”
“No, I trust you.”
I started the shower and was surprised when Dane stripped and joined me. He wasn’t the least bit bashful.
Losing ourselves in the steam and running water, we made love, and it was amazing. As hard as we tried, we were still noisy, and I think we used up all of the hot water.
It was strange to have a man in my bed, but I wanted to spend every possible moment in his arms before he left for China. He didn’t say how long he was going to be gone. With work and school, it wasn’t like I didn’t have plenty to do, but as any new relationship goes, he was all I was thinking about.
The next morning, I woke up with a serious sore throat. I thought it was related to all the yelling I’d done at the hockey game.
Dane went to work, and I went to my first two classes, but by noon, I was running a high fever and felt my body ache from my head to my toes.
I stopped by the clinic, and they ran a test for strep throat and the flu. The flu won. Damn. An hour and half later, I was curled in the bed with blankets, medicine, and juice. I thought about Dr. P’s remedy. I missed home, missed Mom’s soup, and her taking care of me.
When she answered the phone, she didn’t bother saying hello. “Hi, honey, why aren’t you in class?”
“I have the flu.”
“Oh no, did you get some medicine and stock up on fluids and chicken soup?”
“Yes, yes, and no. Chicken soup in a can is just a sin once I’ve tasted yours.”
“I could make some and bring it to you.”
“No, I don’t want you on the road, and I don’t want to expose you to the flu. Stay put. Maybe I can come up next weekend. I’ll call you later. Love you.”
I slept off and on the rest of the afternoon. I thought the fever was taking hold because I had weird dreams I couldn’t piece together. I hate it when I did that. Later that evening, Dane left a voicemail saying his grandfather wasn’t doing well, and they were stopping treatments for a few days to let him get his strength back up. He sent me some text photos of the wedding day and captioned them “Magical Moments”, and he was correct. They were.
Even with antibiotics, cough medicine, and fever reducer, I continued to run a fever for most of the weekend and stayed in bed the entire time, sleeping a great deal of it. I think my body was trying to catch up on all the sleep I’d lost over the last year.
Dane insisted on coming over on Sunday. He brought soup that their cook/housekeeper had made, and it was really good. He played nurse to me, and he did a really good job of it, although I pretended to be a cranky, demanding patient just to play with him, but he took it in stride.
I laid on the couch, and he sat in the chair and watched the football game. Karina had been staying at Aaron’s to keep from catching the flu too. The hospital wouldn’t let me come back to work until I was free from fever for at least twenty-four hours.
“How old were you when your Mom passed away?” I asked, rubbing his thigh with my foot.
“Seventeen.”
“And your dad?”
“Never knew him. I don’t even know if he’s alive. I tried to find him for a long time and failed. I even hired a prestigious PI firm, and they couldn’t find a trace of him. When my mother got pregnant with me, my grandparents hated him. He was a drug user and heavy drinker, so Grandfather offered him a large check to disappear and the bastard took it. My take on it was that any man who would take money and walk away from a child didn’t deserve to be a father.”
“So, what changed your mind? Why did you try to find him?”
“Mom was a pediatrician and felt a deep calling for the medical mission. I begged to go with her, but everyone had to be at least eighteen to go on the trip. After she died, I wanted to hear his side of the story. I was always curious what kind of man would get her attention. For some reason, it seemed important at the time, but I guess I’ll never know. Unable to find him or any more answers, I took a baseball bat to various cars in a store parking lot one night out of severe anger and frustration. That was my first arrest, but Grandfather bailed me o
ut and paid the victims hefty sums not to press charges. About three months later, I beat up a guy for flirting with my girlfriend at the time and got another vacation behind bars, so Grandfather cut me off and kicked me out. The third time actually got me confined for six months, which was a probation violation and forging a check from Grandfather. He’d had enough and didn’t try to keep me out of jail the last time. He let me figure out that I needed to clean my act up and I did. I’ve been a good boy ever since.” He moved from the chair to the sofa and laid down behind me.
“Good for him.”
“Yes, I say I owe my life to him. The downside right now is just the business and all the trips to Asia. I would love to take you with me. Maybe we can do that when you’re out for spring break. Once you get a passport?”
“Asia? Seriously?”
He kissed me and then shoved his arm under my pillow, while hogging the couch. “Yes, I want you to go with me.”
“You’re gonna get the flu, and then no one is going to be going.”
“Well, then it’s gonna be the best way to get sick, if you feel up to it.”
I nodded.
He scooped me into his arms and carried me to the bedroom. Sex with him was always different. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but always satisfying. With him, I was comfortable trying new things, and he did manage to push my limits, but each time was an equally satiating experience.
After making love, we were lying in bed, and I hadn’t slipped my T-shirt back on. He kissed my bare shoulder and trailed his tongue across my back.
I shuddered at the thought of his mouth on my old scars.
“Tell me about these.”
I cringed. Revealing my secrets would be like baring my soul for the world to see, never again able to reel it back into hiding.
The room was silent, only the sound of the nearby train permeated our space.
“I can’t.” I sat up in bed and flipped the covers away to grab clothes, but he gripped my arm and pulled me into a hug, my back to his front.
“Please don’t hide your pain from me.”
“You have no idea.” My body began to tremble. I wasn’t sure if it was from fever or from anxiety. Either way, I thought perhaps I needed the covers to hide my shame. Once my secret was out, I was certain he would consider me damaged and move on.
“I can’t do this. You won’t understand.”
I threw my leg over the side of the bed and started to get up. The words he uttered stopped me cold in my flesh and forever changed me.
“If you can’t trust me with your heart and soul, you shouldn’t trust me with your body.”
He’s right.
As I turned to face him, I drew in a deep breath and began to spew my story before I lost my nerve.
“It was my last day of senior year, and I’d just got home from school. Daddy was waiting for me in the garage. He said he needed help in the barn, but when I followed him down there, he started yelling and calling me names. He’d been in my room, read my journal, and found out I’d slept with Stephan and I was on birth control pills.”
“He hit you?”
“Oh, God, he more than hit me. He tied me to a hook in the barn and whipped me until my back was bloody.” I was just short of hyperventilating.
Dane pulled me to face him and wrapped me tightly in his arms. “Where was your mother?”
“Gone to get fabric. When he untied me, I didn’t have the energy to get up from the dirt. Stephan found me a couple of hours later still lying on the ground, and it was all I could do to keep him from beating my father to death. I begged him not to say anything because it would’ve killed my mother to know.”
“So how did you go to graduation?”
“It wasn’t until that weekend. I faked being sick for several days until I healed enough to get around. We never spoke of it again. Once my father died, my secret went with him to the grave.”
“But you’ve managed to hide your scars from your mother?”
“Yes. With her room downstairs and mine up, I always managed to be dressed. She had her first heart attack when I was in high school. Knowing about this would’ve killed her.”
“I would never hurt you, but I believe actions speak louder than words, and you’ll know whether you trust me or not.”
I fell asleep, comfortable that he knew my darkest secret and hadn’t run away. He was right, actions spoke louder than words, but giving of trust was completely another story.
When I woke up, he brought up the Asia trip again and the issue of me not having a passport. He used my laptop to print out the forms and checklist for a passport. The to-do items were a mile long, and I would get them done the next day. Because it would have to be expedited, the passport office required proof of pending travel documents, so Dane put a ticket on hold and printed the itinerary. Some of the items like birth certificate and stuff I had from my admission requirements for school. Dr. P would email me my shot records and the rest was a matter of filling out forms.
Dane was going to a great deal of trouble if he wasn’t serious about me going with him. We were getting very close, and I was beginning to have strong feelings for him, but the concern was creeping in. What if it was just a rebound affair? What if he was just a player and didn’t do relationships because of his constant travel?
And why was a great guy like Dane single? Were there other girls? Was I just the flavor of the month for him?
The following week went by quickly. Dane and I spent every possible minute together.
One morning, he took me for a horseback ride to watch the sunrise. We crossed the top of the hill in the predawn. Then he helped me off the horse, and we sat wrapped in a blanket together. I remembered the old saying: everything is the calmest just before the sun awakes.
“It’s so peaceful. I wonder how many people actually watch the sun rise from the depths of darkness.”
He inhaled a deep breath while his face was buried in my hair. “I try to do this at least once a week. It keeps me grounded.” His voice was soft—almost reverent.
“What rocks you to your core?”
“All the unease in this world. Before you, I was so wrapped up in the next big thing in the tech world that I didn’t have time for anything else. I went through women like crazy because they never satisfied me. Now, I only want to make time for you. You’re like a drug I can’t get out of my system.”
Later that morning, I had a good bit of studying to do, and he was actually a big help quizzing me.
“How’s your latte?” he asked, while we sat in Starbucks.
“Awesome. What is it?”
“Skinny vanilla. It’s one of my favorites. So, where are we going for dinner?”
“I have to tease you—the drink sounds prissy. As far as dinner goes, I’m working late, so it’ll be the hospital cafeteria?”
“Sounds too healthy.”
“And probably not organic or American made either. Just like this coffee.”
“You’re right. I’ll bring you a surprise then.” He winked.
There was something about his blue eyes flashing that made my heart beat a little faster.
“I’ll let you.” I knew he would be bringing a pizza from his restaurant, and that was quite all right with me. I’d eat anything if it meant I could spend another minute with him.
Later that night, we laid in my bed after making love and listened to the rainstorm outside. The more the wind blew, the tighter he pulled me to him.
I laid there, facing him. With my finger, I traced the contours of his face. “What do you think about when you’re making love to me?”
“I feel the heat of your body and the way it responds to me. Sometimes I like to go fast as if I’m driving you like my car. Other times, I want to savor you like a fine malt scotch over ice. I see the tenderness in your eyes mix with desire as you get aroused. It’s like watching a hurricane come to shore.”
His beautiful words left me voiceless.
When the end of the week
came, I was sad to see Dane go. He had a driver take him to the airport in a limo and invited me to go with him, even though I told him over and over how I hated goodbyes.
“Ten days. I’m flying home to get you, and we’ll go back together.”
“It’s a long flight. You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s your first flight, and besides, there’s customs and all that. I want to be with you when you experience all the firsts, plus be there to help navigate. Customs can be overwhelming.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist and ran my hands up and down his back. “Have a great trip. I’ll miss you.”
He kissed me passionately and gripped my ass, pulling me close to his body at the same time.
“I’m gonna miss you more. Take care of Grandfather.”
I stood outside the airport terminal and watched him disappear through the glass doors.
I hated goodbyes.
Mr. Lawrence returned to treatments and was tolerating them much better, but overall, I could see his health deteriorating. He moved slower and slower, and his face was drawn with all the weight he’d lost.
At eighty-four, he said he’d live a very happy life. “I’ve almost finished my bucket list.”
“You have? What were some of the things you’re most proud of accomplishing?”
“Oh, seeing my name in Forbes, visiting Tibet, seeing to it that my grandson found the right track, and oh, I learned to play the saxophone.”
“I would love to hear you play. Would you play for me?”
“Absolutely. I don’t have the wind I used to, but I can still forge a decent enough tune.”
“What else do you have left to check off the list?”
“Seeing my grandson marry and become a father.”
That one got me. Was he implying it was me? Was he the one pushing us together? Did he intentionally set us up to achieve his own goal before he died? Was Dane just seeing me to make his grandfather happy?
“Let’s get you in this chair, so you can get home and rest.”
“You don’t fool me, Ms. Cunningham. I see things.”
“Oh, we’re back to formalities, are we, Mr. Lawrence?”
Forgiveness Creek: The Creek Series Page 6