Insight

by Jennis Slaughter

  “What did she say Jasper? You know Raelin; she won’t tell me if she knows it’s something I won’t like. Especially when it comes to her magic. She gets scared enough when she tells me things. I have a hard time already convincing her I’m not going to run off every time I learn something new about her abilities,” Del said, an edge creeping into her voice. She didn’t mean to be so rude about it, but her headache, combined with not having Raelin’s presence in her mind and her exhaustion were serving to eliminate any patience she might have had. She wasn’t in the mood for games.

  “I think she lost some time off her life. Because she used the magic against someone in anger and could have caused them bodily harm,” he stated quietly.

  Del felt her whole body go rigid. “What did you just say?” she asked evenly, not sure if she’d heard correctly.

  Shaking his head, Jasper closed his eyes before repeating, “I think that she lost some of her life. Her life span is shorter than it’s supposed to be because she was protecting you.” There wasn’t another way for him to put it. Jasper knew that Del would put two and two together and come up with the same conclusion that he had.

  Del sat for a second, taking in his words and letting the obvious conclusion come forward. “She’s going to die before she should, because of me then,” she whispered, hanging her head.

  “No...because of the Kingsleys, Chief Brito, and because of the people here in the town; not because of you,” he reached out and put a hand on the young woman’s shoulder.

  She shrugged him off, rising to her feet. “She wouldn’t have been involved in any of that if not for me Jasper. What am I supposed to do with that anyway? She’s killing herself because she loves me. I can’t just let her,” Del snapped, no longer able to stay still, she started pacing the hallway.

  Sighing, Jasper shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe this cleansing will be able to reverse some of it. I can’t answer you, but I thought that you had the right to know.”

  “If this is true, then she’s putting her life at risk for mine. I’m not sure that I’m okay with that.”

  “I don’t think that she thinks that it’s fair that you were almost killed protecting her. There’s blame, if you want to call it that, on both sides. You just have to decide if you want to take the chance on loving each other or stop while you can.” Jasper stood up. “I’m gonna go drive her truck to get the windows fixed. I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” he patted his friend on the back and walked away.

  Del stood there, watching as he left. Finally, she turned and headed into the kitchen, finding the younger women laughing over something Will had said. “I’m going for a walk. Will you two be okay to watch the house?” she asked the agents with no emotion.

  Kasey immediately sobered. “Do you want me to go with you?”

  “No. Just watch the house. If Raelin asks, I’ve gone to the sweet grass. She’ll know what I’m talking about.” With that, the blonde turned and left the house, never looking back.

  j

  It was early evening when Raelin opened the door and walked out of her altar room, feeling lighter, centered, and happier. She had done a major cleansing and had meditated, and now felt like her old self. She wanted to find her detective to have a long talk and a cuddle.

  Making her way into the kitchen, the smile on her face slowly faded away at the look on Jenny and Kasey’s face. “What’s the matter? Where is Delaney? Oh Goddess! Did Brito hurt her?”

  Kasey’s head snapped around to see Raelin standing in the kitchen. “What? No, nothing like that. She was sitting outside of your room for a bit and we came in here to make lunch. After ten minutes, she came in here; looking really upset and said she was going for a walk. We aren’t sure what’s wrong.”

  “Where is she then? How long has she been gone?” The witch headed for the back door.

  “She said to tell you she went to the sweet grass. She’s been gone a couple hours now,” Jenny answered.

  “She was talking with Jasper before she left and I know she was suffering a pretty bad headache. She might have just needed some air Raelin. I’m sure she’s fine,” Kasey tried to reassure the witch.

  “Thanks guys...” The brunette walked through the back porch and down the stairs to head for the glen. She should have never mentioned anything to Jasper.

  Rori came bounding next to her. “Do you know where she was talking about? Jasper must have mentioned something to her,” he said, trotting beside her.

  “She’s gone to the glen, and I think that Jasper told her that I lost time.” Raelin was walking barefoot through the woods to her detective.

  “He had no right to. That’s something you should have been able to tell her yourself,” Rori muttered, jumping over a log.

  “I was going to, but I think that he gathered that I wouldn’t, and that she has a right to know. He’s right, she does, but I could have put it a different way so that it wouldn’t have sounded as bad.” They had come to the circle of trees and the witch was loathing crossing the invisible line.

  “I know your there. You can join me if you want, you too Rori,” the detective said, just loud enough for the witch to hear, never opening her eyes as she lay in the grass.

  Offering a quick prayer, Raelin and her familiar crossed the line of trees and headed to the middle of the glen. Walking until she was a few feet away from her lover, the witch stopped. Standing there, she looked down at the golden hair, splayed out against the green grass and the peaches and cream skin, slightly rosy from the sun. “Hey...you feeling all right?” Raelin softly asked.

  “I think I should be asking you the same,” she countered, eyes still closed.

  “I’m good. Feeling centered anyway.” Raelin closed her eyes at Del’s tone of voice. She knew that the blonde was hurt, but hoped that this would be something that they could get past.

  Finally looking up at her witch, Del was careful not to show too much on her face. “Why does protecting me cost you time like that. Why not all the other magic you’ve done?”

  Staring at the blonde, Raelin tried to read her face, but couldn’t. Never looking away, she answered. “Because I did it in anger, and I could have hurt someone during the process. I honestly wasn’t sure until after Sumners attacked you in the kitchen. When I went to heal you, and I needed help, that’s when I knew,” she looked away for a moment. “Joy and anger are very similar emotions, just like love and hate, but anger can make you lose control, and innocents can be hurt. What I did was wrong, but I did it for reasons that I will do again. To protect you.”

  “I don’t want you protecting me like that if it has a cost that high. I’ve been doing work like this for years Raelin, without magical help. Why didn’t you tell me?” she replied. This time, she let her feelings show in her voice, but she reached up a hand to the witch anyway. She might have been hurt, but she still loved Raelin.

  Taking Del’s hand, Raelin stayed where she was, looking down at the beautiful woman. “I was going to tell you...soon. I was just trying to find the right words. I didn’t want you to find out this way Delaney, and I’m sorry.”

  “I know you are, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Now come here. I’m hurt and a little upset I had to hear it from Jasper of all people, but I still love you and I need you close right now. I couldn’t sense you while you were doing your cleansing and it’s a disturbing feeling,” Del said, giving a light tug on Raelin’s hand. She was a still upset, but her need to be close to her witch far outweighed the hurt she felt. Her head was still pounding and she just wanted to curl up with Raelin and try to relax at least a little.

  Dropping to her knees, Raelin smoothed her hand over Del’s brow, wiping away the tiny worry lines before she leaned forward to place gentle kisses against the woman’s eyelids. “Rest Del. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  Del shifted so her head was in Raelin’s lap and she reached a hand out to scratch at Rori’s ears before she followed Raelin’s advice and allowed her body to relax, fal
ling into a light doze under the warm sun.

  A Chapter 22 a

  “She would gladly die for you, you know that?” A lilting voice caught Delaney’s attention.

  Del sat up from where she was laying in the tall grass and looked ahead of her. Her eyes widened at the site of the beautiful woman in front of her. Piercing blue eyes stared back at her and long dark hair was being tossed gently in the wind along with the breezy white dress the woman was wearing. “Who are you?” Del asked warily.

  “I have many names; Gaia, Earth Mother, you may call me what you wish. My Chylde has offended you. Why?” Her voice was like melodic tones.

  “I’m not offended. I just don’t want her risking her life or cutting it short just to protect me,” Del said, entranced by the Goddess standing before her.

  “And she wishes the same for you. It seems that you may be at an impasse. What would you have her do?” The woman stared at the detective.

  “I don’t know. I just want her to be okay,” Del said, knowing the Goddess was right. “I’m mostly just hurt that she wouldn’t tell me. I don’t want her thinking I’m going to leave her because of her gifts. I want her to know that she doesn’t need to be scared to talk to me about her magic.”

  The Goddess smiled. “My Chylde is wise in the ways of Magick, but knows little in regards to relationships. You will need to teach her by example, just as she will teach you what you need. Things will come in their own time; they cannot be rushed. Thus is the act of nature and all that live in it.”

  “So in a really convoluted way you are telling me I was over reacting and need to be more understanding?” Del asked.

  Tilting her head, the woman appeared to sigh at the blonde. “Not at all. You reacted the way that you were meant to react. I am simply telling you something that my Chylde cannot. Her experience with trusting mundanes has been less than successful, but I have seen how in tune you two are, and it brings my heart joy to see her happy.”

  “That’s all I want. Is to make her happy and keep her safe. Tell me, how can you give her abilities and then punish her for using them by taking away some of her life?” Del asked, green eyes sharpening.

  “Just like when you eat too much sugar or drink too much liqueur, there is a price that must be paid. It was her choice, just as it is yours. You both pay it willingly,” stepping forward, the Goddess was now only a few feet away from the blonde.

  Del stood and took a small pace back from the woman before her. “It’s my job to make that choice. She’s an innocent bystander in all of this. That shouldn’t be a choice she has to make.”

  Dropping her gaze slightly, the Goddess glared. “Can you walk away from someone in need? No, so do not expect my Chylde to do the same. She gives what she can when she can as you do. If you try to closet her away, you will be doing more harm than you know.”

  “I don’t intend to closet her away. I just want her safe. Is that really so wrong?” Del asked, staring evenly back at the Goddess. “She’s suffered and been hurt enough in her life. I don’t want her to hurt anymore, is that such a bad thing? Wouldn’t you want to protect her too?”

  “I have protected her, more than you know.”

  “Then why are you faulting me for wanting to do the same?” Del challenged.

  The voiced changed to thunder like. “Because human, if I had not, she would surely have never met you.”

  Del stood up to the Goddess, trying her best not to be intimidated. “Then I’m thankful, but you can’t stop me from caring enough to want to protect her. I love her, and I won’t let harm come to her if I can help it.” Realizing she’d just made the Goddess original argument for her, she sighed, cocking her head to the side. “Okay, so that was sneaky.”

  Walking forward until she could place a hand on Delaney’s injured shoulder, the Goddess smiled and her voice returned to the former tone. “I thank you for loving my Chylde, but I am afraid that you will have to let her give what she can. There will come a time when she will have the choice to use what she is or use who she is, but you will need to let her make that choice.”

  Del was surprised that the weight of the hand on her shoulder didn’t cause her any pain as she looked up into the crystal blue eyes of her witch’s Goddess. “What am I supposed to do then? How can I help her?”

  “There will be a time that you will need to be separated and you both will go through much emotional pain, but have faith that you will be reunited in due time. All is not as it seems at this time.” The Goddess reached out to caress Delaney’s face.

  Del allowed the touch, but didn’t lean into it, her eyes locked with the clear blue of the Goddess. “What do you know about what’s going on? You’re hiding something.”

  The entity shook her head. “I cannot tell you the future, only warn. My Chylde will go through great anguish, but you will be waiting for her in the end.”

  “Hasn’t she already suffered enough? What can I do to prevent it?” Del asked desperately.

  “She needs to go through what comes to have her closure. She will be stronger in the end.” The Goddess simply stated. “There is nothing that you can do to prevent this. If you try, you may lose her.”

  “Why me? Why not tell Raelin all of this, especially when you know there is nothing I can do to help her?” The blonde asked, finally relaxing under the gaze of the Goddess.

  “She will need your understanding and need to know that your love will be there when she needs it. And I wanted to make sure that you will be there for her. You do love my Chylde, I see that clearly, and you shall bring her much happiness.”

  Del nodded. ”I’ll support her as best I can and as much as she’ll allow me. For what it’s worth, she makes me happy too and I don’t ever want to lose that.”

  The Goddess smiled. “Blessed Be Delaney Delacroix, tell her nothing of our conversation.” The woman kissed her own hand and blew the kiss at the blonde’s face and her form slowly faded away.

  Del jerked awake as the woman disappeared from view and found herself back in the glen, head still in Raelin’s lap. She rolled over, nuzzling into Raelin’s tummy. “How long have we been out here?”

  “Hey Darlin’, did you have a nice nap? You slept for a couple of hours, and I hope that you are hungry because I can smell that Jasper has fired up the grill. We had decided to BBQ before everything went into the trash.” Raelin ran her fingers through golden hair.

  Del just burrowed deeper, still a little unsettled by the conversation in her dream. “I am a little hungry,” Del mumbled her words, muffled by Raelin’s tummy.

  “You didn’t eat again, did you?” The witch smiled at the blonde. “What am I going to do with you?”

  Finally rolling onto her back, she smirked up at her witch. “I can think of a few things, but a kiss would be a good start.”

  “Well then, come up here and kiss me.” Rae grinned and wiggled her eyebrows.

  Del smiled and sat up to tackle Raelin to the ground, playfully peppering her face with gentle kisses. “What are you going to do now witch?” Del cackled mischievously, her hands tickling Raelin’s ribs.

  Wrapping her arms around her detective, Raelin held her close while smiling up into sparkling green eyes. “I love you Delaney, so very much.”

  Leaning down to steal the kiss she’d been after in the first place, she smiled into the touch. “I love you too.”

  Sliding her hands up inside of Del’s shirt, Rae let her own fingers to tickle along the blonde’s ribs. “I’m not ticklish Darlin’. Try all you want, but I bet that I can make you squeal.”

  Del arched into the touch until Raelin’s fingers found a weak spot and she sat up squirming, trying to hold back laughter and batting weakly at Raelin’s hands. “You don’t play fair!” Del gasped out between giggles.

  Sliding Del’s shirt up and over the blonde’s head, Raelin bent down to take one of the blonde’s nipples between her lips, drawing it into her warm mouth. Humming, she pulled the woman closer.

  Del wanted mo
re than anything to give into Raelin’s advances, but she was still upset with her witch. They needed to talk and now that her headache was gone, she was in a much better place mentally to do so. She’d woken up much more centered and she’d needed the contact with her witch to ground herself, but this was an intimacy she did not wish to taint with any hurt she might be feeling. Regretfully, she pulled away from Raelin’s mouth, barely holding back the whimper as she did.

  “Stop Raelin. I’m still upset with you,” the blonde said quietly, reaching for her shirt to pull it back on.

  Sighing, Raelin looked at the blonde. “I know, but I was going to tell you. I just couldn’t find the words...I mean, how do you tell someone that you lost a year off your life because you were defending them, and that you would do it again because you love them. Tell me.”

  Del paused at that, she understood, exactly what it was like to have to tell someone something that was going to hurt them. Remembering Kasey’s words earlier, she took Raelin’s hands in her own. “You tell them the truth, and then you support them in whatever way they need. I may not have liked it, but I would have understood eventually. You need to trust that I’m not going to run off every time something with your magic comes up. It’s a part of you and I need to know these things so I know how to support you and help you if you need it.”

  Pulling the blonde closer, the witch admitted, “This relationship...you and me...I’ve never had anyone close like this before, and I don’t know the rules or how it is supposed to work. I’m asking you to be patient with me. Talk with me...you may have to drag things out of me because you deserve to know and I don’t want to scare you away.”

  “There are no rules Darlin’. I understand this is new to you, that it’s a little scary, and I promise to be patient, but there has to be some give and take. I don’t know a lot about your magic so I have to trust that you’re going to tell me things that affect us because I might not know what to ask. Try giving me the benefit of the doubt sometimes. I want to learn about your magic and everything that comes with it. I really want you to be able to talk to me and know that you aren’t going to be judged. Your magic, it’s a part of you, and I accept that along with everything else,” Del replied, running her fingers through long dark hair as she spoke.