by D. L. O'Neal
"Is that what you believe?" Gabriel sounded as if he didn't care one way or the other what she believed. He looked almost bored.
"Can you deny these?" she choked out, her hand shaking as she waved the damning pictures. Gabriel moved to take them and she shied away from him before she could prevent it. A flicker of emotion moved in his eyes then, but it was gone too quickly to read. He took the sheaf, careful not to touch her. Kalesia held her breath as Gabriel studied them thoroughly. Maybe she had jumped to a conclusion, she thought, unable to prevent the tiny flame of something not quite hope.
Gabriel handed them back impassively. "Would you believe me?"
Something vital in her shriveled and died. A lie. All a lie. The man she had trusted more than any other, the man she had learned to depend upon, was a lie. A facade. Bitter, hysterical laughter welled up. Kalesia bit her lip, determined not to allow Gabriel to see how devastated she was. She lashed out, wanting to hurt him as he had hurt her.
"You lied to me," she accused in a tight whisper.
Raw, naked pain slashed across his face, shattering the controlled mask for a single instance. Hot, burning triumph filled Kalesia. So he wasn't totally immune. Before she could resume her attack, a mask of hard indifference replaced the agony.
"Yes, I lied." Abruptly, Gabriel turned on heel. Kalesia was left wondering if she had imagined that harsh, barely audible, "I lied to both of us."
Kalesia was shaking violently as she watched him leave. She felt emotionally and physically drained. Her mind shut down, protecting her from a reality too awful to contemplate. Not even the initial rush of mingled pain and anger was there. Kalesia was thankful for the numbness that insulated her from the soul-searing anguish sure to come.
Arms hugging her middle, she made her way upstairs to her old room, glad the men had gone out. Like a wounded animal, she sought a place she could be alone when the pain came. She didn't think she could bear to talk to anyone, to try to pretend that nothing was wrong. Concealing the rift between her and Gabriel would be next to impossible. The men were trained observers, far too experienced not to know something was seriously wrong.
Slowly, the afternoon passed. Sitting motionless in the rocking chair, she stared out the window at nothing. The pain hadn't come yet, she was still blessedly numb. Her eyes burned with a grief too deep to fall.
In the distance, she saw Wolf approach Gabriel out by one of the smaller greenhouses. They were too far away for her to hear their conversation. Suddenly, Gabriel shook his head adamantly. Both men turned to look at her window. Gabriel shook his head again, with finality. Wolf's hand cut the air once before he stalked off.
Kalesia couldn't even summon the energy to be curious at the conversation between the two men. A tiny flicker of shame that she was leaving Gabriel to deal with the inevitable questions was quickly extinguished beneath the overwhelming weight of betrayal.
Less than fifteen minutes later, a low knock came at her door. She ignored the summons.
"Kalesia?" The voice was dark and low, but not Gabriel's. "Kalesia, it's Wolf. Is everything okay?" He sounded concerned. Kalesia wanted to ignore the query, ignore everything.
"Kalesia?" There was a hint of impatience in his voice now.
He just wasn't going to go away. And at the moment, she just didn't have the strength to make him.
She heaved a little sigh and raised her voice.
"I'm fine. Just a headache." Kalesia hated the lie. Lies, she thought bitterly, had seeped into every facet of her life. Lies had ripped apart a very beautiful dream, and somewhere beneath the calm exterior, she was still quivering from the agony of the tearing.
There was the slightest pause. "Do you want me to bring you something to eat?" Supper. She had completely forgotten the need to prepare the evening meal as was her wont. Her stomach roiled uneasily at the thought of food.
"No, I'm not hungry. I'm sorry I forgot."
There was another, longer, pause. "Don't worry about it. It won't be the first time we've fended for ourselves. Are you sure you're feeling all right?"
Feeling all right? Kalesia stuffed her fist in her mouth to stifle the hysterical laughter. Feeling all right? She wanted to scream, to rant, to rave that no, she wasn't feeling all right, that something inside her had died an ugly and agonizing death. That his friend Gabriel was the cause. She did nothing of the kind, of course. Instead she politely reassured the man standing on the other side of the door.
"I'm fine. Nothing wrong that a night of sleep won't cure." And a few dozen years to forget, she added silently. There wasn't a sound, but somehow she knew that Wolf had moved away. He never made a sound. He was very like Gabriel in that regard.
STUDYING HER face in the mirror the next morning, Kalesia decided she looked like death warmed over. Her skin, usually a delicate ivory, was so pale as to be almost bloodless. There were fine lines around her eyes and her mouth had a pinched tightness that obliterated its usually full lines. She reached for her makeup bag, hoping to hide some of the outward signs of damage. Nothing, she knew, could alter the dull, lifelessness in her eyes. She grimaced. She'd just have to keep their attention focused elsewhere and avoid questions. Not to anyone could she talk about her discovery.
Her knees threatened to buckle when she walked into the kitchen and saw Gabriel wasn't there.
"Morning." She winced. Was the false cheeriness as obvious to them as it was to her?
"Mornin', beautiful. Better?" Sam leaned back casually, surveying the bright picture she made with blatant appreciation.
"Fit as a fiddle. Any preference for breakfast?" She must be a better actress than she thought, Kalesia decided, relief steadying her nerves before her eyes were snagged by a grey, predatory gaze. Wolf measured her thoughtfully and then silently raised one black brow.
She hadn't fooled him for a minute. Kalesia hurriedly turned away and searched blindly for a frying pan. The taut line of her spine sagged thankfully when Wolf saw fit to hold his peace. She relaxed even further when the men began a gentle teasing.
"Find anything useful?" Kalesia asked. This waiting was shredding her nerves. She closed her eyes for a moment as it fully sank in that she no longer had Gabriel to lean on and reassure her.
"A couple of things." Sam reached for another helping of fried potatoes, his eyes thoughtful. "We won't let anything happen to you, " he reassured her, before his eyes crinkled in mischief. One arm snaked out and pulled her close to his side. "Hell, if you'll let me have another blueberry muffin, I'll trail along at your heels like a Chihuahua with a Doberman complex." He gave a hopeful grin. "I'll even sleep at the foot of your bed."
Kalesia sputtered at the image. Laughing, she hugged Sam and gave him a peck on the cheek, and chided, "If you're not housebroken, I wield a mean newspaper!"
To the silent man in the doorway, the easy horseplay between Kalesia and his friends, scraped nerves already raw and jagged. He'd been standing there for several minutes and no one had noticed his presence. Once again, he recognized resignedly, he was on the outside looking in. The realization made him strike out with deadly precision.
"What's the matter, Kalesia? Can't stay out of a man's bed now that you've found out what you've been missing? Which one will you place under your spell this time? Or are you trying for all three?" The harsh words hung in the suddenly still atmosphere.
She whirled around, her face going dead white at the insult. Beside her, Sam started to surge to his feet. Without breaking her glance from his, she placed her hand on Sam's shoulder. Gabriel's gaze flitted to the slender hand holding Sam back.
"Don't, Sam. This doesn't concern you." Her spine straightened. Crossing the small space separating them, Kalesia stopped mere inches from him. There was something regal and dignified in her stance as she refused to back down from his attack. She spaced each word slowly and deliberately apart.
"Trust me, Gabriel, your performance in bed does not make me inclined to seek solace elsewhere."
A muscle flexed in his c
heek. "It was good enough to keep you coming back for more," he bit out. Her pupils widened until they swallowed all the green, becoming a bottomless pit in her white face.
"Gratitude makes a woman do strange things," Kalesia countered with an icy steadiness.
"Don't try to tell me it wasn't more than gratitude, damn you."
"Wasn't it?" she asked, before stepping around him and leaving the room.
Gabriel started when Wolf spoke. He had forgotten their audience.
"Do you get pleasure from pulling the wings off butterflies?"
Gabriel slowly turned to face the other man, a dangerous edge to the deliberate motion. The two men traded measured glares.
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about."
"Don't I?" Wolf murmured tauntingly. "I've seen you treat the enemy with more kindness than you just treated her."
"Shut up. Just shut up." Gabriel spaced the words distinctly apart. His muscles bunched beneath the fabric of his shirt as he prepared to launch himself at his friend. A fierce joy welled at the thought of combat, needing the release of the physical contact. Gabriel ached to smash his fist into someone.
"Wouldn't it be simpler just to let the murderer find Kalesia than to kill her a little piece at a time?"
"No one is going to hurt Kalesia," Gabriel grated, an implacable rage in his voice. He shifted infinitesimally on the balls of his feet.
"No, that pleasure is reserved solely for you."
Gabriel's right hand shot out. Wolf's head slammed back at the impact. Wolf touched the trickle of blood running down his chin, grim satisfaction in his grey eyes.
Gabriel was utterly shocked. He'd allowed himself to be provoked into losing all semblances of control. And the provocation had been deliberate. Wolf hadn't even made the most basic attempt to counter. Never before had he allowed himself to violate one of his most basic tenets of survival; that of being prodded into doing what the other person wanted. Never. Gabriel didn't like the sensation now.
"Go to hell. All of you, go to hell."
Badger waited until the screen door slammed. "Just what was that supposed to prove? He was ready to kill you."
"It proved that whatever is wrong, it's tearing Gabe up just as much as it is Kalesia. She got to him, and in a bad way. Didn't you see his eyes when he lashed out at her?"
"Interesting," Sam commented.
"Yeah, ain't it."
"WELL, HAVE you heard anything?"
"Nothing. I don't like this." One eye twitched at the sound of a door shutting.
"Nothing?" The question was sharp, biting. "I would have thought...." The arrogant voice trailed off.
"No one's talking."
"Find out if the woman is still with Steele."
"Why wouldn't she be?" There was an undercurrent to the faceless voice that he didn't like. He didn't like being left in the dark.
"Do it," the man ordered.
"It'll take me a couple of days. I have to be careful not to make anyone suspicious."
"Three days." The line went dead.
SHE WAS a nervous wreck. It had been four days since the package had arrived and the situation between her and Gabriel had, if anything, deteriorated. Kalesia stared at the computer screen, the document a jumbled mess of symbols.
She couldn't go on like this. Her nerves couldn't stand the strain. She and Gabriel spoke only when absolutely necessary and then only about the case. Mealtimes were an undeclared zone of war, each unable to resist sniping at the other.
Kalesia didn't know what she would have done without the unspoken support of the other men. They had a knack for diffusing the situation before actual blood was shed.
Her stomach lurched. Bad analogy. Gabriel specialized in spilling blood.
Then why did he avoid going to bed until three or four in the morning? Despite her best intentions, Kalesia found herself listening each night for his door opening and closing, unable to fall asleep until she knew he was in his room.
A knock at her door broke the slender tendril of thought, scattering it before she could take a firm hold. Wolf opened the door without waiting for permission.
"We need to talk." Wolf's stance told her he wouldn't take no for an answer. Kalesia didn't have to ask him what he wanted to talk about. Wolf had been quietly determined to corner her. It had taken more and more energy to avoid the confrontation she sensed coming. Obviously, this time he wasn't taking no for an answer.
"Talk to Gabriel."
"I tried. He told me to mind my own business." Wolf rubbed his jaw. There was a faintly visible red mark.
"Listen to him." Kalesia turned back toward the computer, hoping he would take the hint.
Wolf grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. "One of you is going to tell me what the hell is going on. And you're neither quick nor strong enough to stop me."
Her eyes widened at the implicit threat. "Why?" she whispered. "Why should you care?"
"Because I see two people I like and respect, tearing each other apart."
Tears clogged Kalesia's throat. She wanted so much to confide in Wolf, have him dismiss her concerns. She's been so blasted unhappy these last several days. It was a foolish notion, she knew.
She'd seen the proof of Gabriel's previous profession with her own eyes. It wasn't something that could conveniently be deleted because she didn't like it.
"How," she cleared her throat and tried again, "exactly how familiar are you with Gabriel's past?"
There was a subtle stiffening in Wolf's massive frame.
"Familiar enough."
"Then are you aware that Gabriel was an assassin?" Kalesia blurted out. Even to her own ears, the statement sounded melodramatic.
"What the devil are you talking about?" Whatever revelation Wolf had been expecting, it obviously hadn't been that.
"The fact that Gabriel hired out his skills to the party with the most money. That he deliberately killed and mutilated when the price was right." Her voice dropped. "Men. Women. Children."
"Lady, you don't know what the hell you're talking about," Wolf snarled softly. "You are out of your tiny little mind if you believe Gabe capable of such acts."
She met his eyes with a steady gaze. "Oh, yes I do. I have proof." It hurt to admit the truth.
"What proof?" Wolf demanded, sounding wary.
"Pictures, reports. There is no doubt. Gabriel was paid to kill. He didn't care for whom, as long as the price was right."
Wolf gripped her chin and jerked her face up to meet his. "I don't know where you got your so-called proof, but lady, one thing I can assure you, it's all a pack of lies. Gabriel Steele is one of the most honorable men I've ever met."
Kalesia wished she could believe him. "I asked him."
"Gabe?"
"Yes. He didn't deny it. In fact, he admitted he lied to me." She removed her chin from his grasp, her eyes dropping as aching pain lanced through her. She had been so wrong. She, also, had thought Gabriel a man of honor, but where was the honor in wanton killing?
Wolf slowly sank down on his haunches, a dark scowl hardening his face into a mask that had more than a passing resemblance to his namesake.
"You're telling me Gabriel admitted he was an assassin? He actually came right out and said he sold himself to the highest bidder? No matter the cause?"
"No," Kalesia hedged, "not in so many words. Still, when I confronted him he didn't deny it." And it hurt. It was her own fault, she should have learned by now not to trust anyone.
Wolf recaptured her chin on the edge of one hard palm. "You're a fool," he pronounced. "Gabriel's a hard man. Even a cynical one. But he's no murderer. I know. I was wrong about you." Wolf shook her. "I thought you were good enough for Gabe. If you can actually believe him an assassin, he's better off without you. You'll only hurt him. Gabriel deserves someone who'll believe in him." He got up and stalked out, leaving her stunned by the unexpected attack.
Kalesia sat there for a long while, slow tears welling and falling unnoticed. She i
gnored the concerned meows at her feet.
"YOU ARE one stupid, hardheaded son-of-a-bitch." A brilliant light exploded in Gabriel's skull as he turned, startled, into Wolf's lightning-quick left. The bitter taste of copper flooded his mouth as a right followed. Astonishment kept Gabriel rooted to the ground as Wolf stood over him, rubbing his reddened knuckles.
"You're too damn proud to defend yourself, aren't you? Can't lower your pride to explain," Wolf sneered. "No, instead you give up, without a fight, the best thing to walk into that sorry excuse of an existence you call a life. I hope you're going through hell. You deserve it. Any man that can't bother bestirring himself to keep a woman like Kalesia, doesn't deserve her. She's a woman a smart man would kill to keep. Who knows," Wolf taunted, "maybe I'll decide to fight for her myself." He left without another word, the threat hanging on the air.
Gabriel wiped the dripping blood on his sleeve as he climbed slowly to his feet. The pain in his jaw and mouth was nothing compared to the knifing agony eating at his soul.
Damn Wolf. He hadn't the faintest idea what he was talking about. He hadn't let Kalesia go. Didn't Wolf understand she'd never been his to begin with? He'd known it deep down all along, but hadn't been able to prevent himself from reaching out for a small taste of her warmth, her compassion, her fire that seared a man to his soul but left him whole. He had deceived Kalesia, and he had deceived himself into thinking there might be more, that he could live in peace.
How could he lie to Kalesia and tell her she was wrong? That he'd never been an assassin? However the paper pushers wanted to dress it up, that's exactly what he had been.
How could a man defend himself against the truth?
"ARE YOU sure you have to go?" Kalesia asked tentatively, her eyes on her plate. She avoided Wolf's steady gaze.
"Positive. There are several things we need to track down physically." It was Badger who answered. He'd been uncharacteristically quiet all evening.
"When do you have to leave?" Kalesia played with the shrimp salad on her plate.