by Dorie Graham
“If I agree—and I’m not saying yet that I am—what will you do? Where will you live?”
She shrugged. “I can always stay in my apartment with my sisters. Who knows, maybe I’ll find another house by then.”
“You’ll never find another house like this.”
“If you do say so yourself.”
“I say so.”
“But I’m sure I can find something I’ll like almost as much. And I’ll be able to live with myself, to boot—which I would not be able to do if I forced you to go through with this sale.”
“Nikki—”
“I’m not going to change my mind and I can be very stubborn. You know, I think the seal on that fridge could be a deal breaker.”
“Sweetheart—”
“And you know you’ll need my help redoing the whole place now that you have most of it cleared out and ready to renovate.”
“I like the basic structure. We’re just talking new wallpaper and paint, maybe some new molding here or there.”
“And you’ll need new furniture. You cannot have Steven and Rebecca over for dinner and not have any dining room furniture.”
“I still have the kitchen set.”
“You need to fill that dining room. And the formal living room is empty, as well. And there are the bedrooms upstairs. You need to do something with the bathrooms. I’ll get Erin’s advice. We need to make a list. Do you have paper and pen?”
“I’ll make the list, thank you. This is my place, and this time around I choose everything.”
She smiled and threw her arms around him. “You agree then?”
“Only if you promise to help. This could take weeks, maybe even months. We’ll have to work every night and weekends, too—”
“I work at the clinic Saturday mornings.”
“Then you’ll have to make it up to me by, say, sharing your luscious body with me at every opportunity.”
“I think I can manage that.”
“Good. You’ll need to move your things back in. No sense in you having to run home all the time for clothes.”
“Well, I might want to say hello to my sisters once in a while. There’s a slight possibility they will miss me.”
“Invite them over. I hate that I didn’t get to meet your sisters that day we stopped by to pick up your things.”
“Really? You wanted to meet them then?”
“Let’s plan a big dinner party when we’re done. We’ll invite your entire family—anyone you think I should meet—and Steven and Becca, too. We’ll concentrate on the dining room first.”
She smiled at him, warmth expanding her chest. “We will?”
“You bet. This was your idea, so you’re in this right along with me. This is definitely a ‘we’ project. Can you handle that?”
“Oh, yeah, I can handle it.”
“I’ll be right back.” He kissed her soundly on the cheek, then moved to rummage in the nightstand.
Sitting back, she let his excitement infect her. They’d done it. They’d made it to the level of plural pronouns. For now, all was right in the world.
17
DYLAN STARED AT THE SWIPE of paint on the wall. “It’s pink.”
“It’s sandalwood, and you liked it in the store.”
“It wasn’t pink in the store.”
“It isn’t pink, and this is a spare bedroom, so what does it matter? Are you planning on having pink-hating overnight guests anytime soon?”
“Sandalwood-hating, and no, I don’t have any friends or family dying to visit, except Steven and Becca, who wouldn’t need to spend the night. Did I really pick that color?”
“You did.”
“What were you doing to distract me at the time?”
She wiggled her eyebrows. “I’ll never tell.”
He scooped one arm around her and pulled her to his side. “Maybe you could show me.”
“After we finish painting.”
“But we just started.”
She brandished her roller at him. “Then you should get busy.”
He let her go and dipped his own roller into the tray. “Slave driver.”
“See, that spot is drying much darker.” She cocked her head. “It’s not so bad. Not so pink.”
He grunted in reply and rolled a swatch of wall.
“If you hate it, then we’ll redo it.” She shrugged. “I should still be around for that.”
“Oh, you’ll be around, miss. I’m not letting you go anywhere. You didn’t start me renovating my entire house just to bail on me.”
She was quiet a moment as they rolled the walls, then she paused to dip her roller in the tray. “Dylan, you understand that I don’t have any choice in how this plays out.”
The serious tone of her voice had him turning to her, his stomach tightening. “What do you mean?”
“I mean us, this relationship. I don’t have a say-so in when or how it ends.”
“Of course you do. We both do. And as far as I’m concerned, we don’t need to be having any conversations on ending things.”
“But we do. Don’t you see? It’s part of this gift or curse or whatever you want to call it. I never had a choice before. They all ended and I had no control over it.”
He stared at her a minute. It had never occurred to him to doubt her gift. He had felt her magic from the start. He’d known from the moment he laid eyes on her that she was somehow different. “Look, I refuse to believe that this thing is bigger than the both of us. If we decide to remain together, then we’re together. End of story.”
“But you won’t want to stay, Dylan.”
“That is bull. What would make me want to leave you?”
She gave a short, sad laugh. “You’ll be healed and you’ll want to go out and conquer the world…and I’ll be left behind.”
He dropped his roller, took hers from her and laid it in the tray, then took her in his arms. “Baby, I am not going anywhere. I want to be with you. Nothing’s going to change that. And as far as this whole healing thing goes, I’ve never felt better. I think you’ve worked your charms on me, mission completed, and here I am. I haven’t gone anywhere.”
“You are very nearly healed. It’s why I bring this up.”
“Very nearly? I’m strong as an ox. I’m happy.” He sobered and met her gaze. “I don’t feel the darkness closing in on me the way it did before I met you.”
“But a part of it is still there.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I sense it. I feel it.”
“You sense it?”
“I’m empathic. It’s part of the gift.”
“You can feel if someone needs healing?”
“Yes. With you I could feel this great sadness when we first met. You’ve worked through a vast amount of it, but it’s like there’s this shadow still.” She placed her hand over his heart. “Here.”
Was she right? “I’m sure everyone has a little something they’re carrying around.”
“I suppose.”
“I think redoing this house has been a great testament to the progress I’m making in…letting go of my old life.”
“It is. You’ve lightened with every little project we complete.”
“So you think that we’ll finish up this room and suddenly I won’t want to be with you anymore?” His frustration flared into anger. “You think I’m only with you because of this healing you give me—that I’m using you in some way and when I’m through with you I’ll want to discard you?”
Tears welled in her eyes and his gut twisted. “I’m sorry, baby, this is so frustrating. Here I’m thinking things are moving right along with us. I’ve gotten you to mostly move in with me. I think we’re getting a good groove on, and you hit me with this things-could-suddenly-end and it’s-out-of-our-control speech. It’s a bit much to swallow.”
“It’s the way it’s always been. You won’t be able to help how you feel. You think you care about me now, but I’m telling you that will change.”
; “No…it won’t. I don’t know about this shadow, but I am a new man, thanks to you.” He inhaled, then blew out the breath as he took her hands in his. “I care so much about you and it has been heaven having you here with me. What I really want is for you to make this your home, too. You don’t need to go out house hunting, Nikki. This house needs you. I need you.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Say yes.”
“But I am here. I have clothes in the closet and my toothbrush by the sink. For all practical purposes, I am living here.”
“It isn’t enough. I want you to move all of your things in. I want you to be here long-term, not temporarily like you are now. I need more. I need to feel connected—a part of something. I want that something to be you.”
“I can’t make plans like that, Dylan. It isn’t fair for you to ask me. You don’t understand. We’re on borrowed time here. I have never had a relationship last this long.”
“I’m supposed to believe that? What kind of idiots were you dating?”
She lifted her chin. “No one else has ever wanted me past the healing.”
“I am not like those other men. I want you. I am not suddenly going to stop wanting you. I’m sorry that you may have been hurt like that in the past, but it is unfair for you to punish me for something I didn’t do.”
“I’m not punishing you.”
“Then make this your home, Nikki. Bring your sisters. There’s plenty of room here, and I know how much they mean to you. I’m sure I’ll love them. Hopefully they’ll like me, too.”
Tears swam in her eyes and he gritted his teeth to keep from roaring his frustration. “I can’t. I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m here for now and I will stay as long as you need me, as long as you want me. But we have to take this one day at a time.”
“Well, I guess I’ll take what I can get at this point.” He turned from her and picked up his roller. Somehow, someway, he’d convince her to stay.
A SURPRISINGLY COOL BREEZE caught Nikki as she stepped into the courtyard. She smiled and inhaled the fresh scent of flowers. Dylan’s voice drifted to her through the open door as he sang off-key to a song on the CD player.
Smiling, she left the door open so she could hear him and carried her shears and vase to the stand of wildflowers near the rock garden. Humming softly to the tune, she clipped an assortment of the golden, orange and red blooms, then arranged them in her vase one by one.
The doorbell rang, its musical gong echoing through the house. Dylan’s singing stopped and the murmur of voices drifted through the open door. A familiar feminine laugh caught Nikki’s attention and she rose in spite of herself to move closer to the sound.
“I was hoping I’d catch you alone.” There was no mistaking Evelyn’s voice. “I won’t take much of your time. I see you’re busy. The place is looking great. Very different.”
“I’m finally making this house mine.”
“Oh, so you’ll be living here with Nikki?”
“She’s backed out of the contract. The sale is off.”
“So the two of you aren’t planning anything long-term then?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but we’re not planning anything.” Aggravation rang clearly in his voice.
Nikki cringed. Was he angry because she refused to make any plans with him or because Evelyn had butted her nose into their business? Either way, Nikki still couldn’t make him any promises.
“Dylan, I know you were upset with me for inviting her to the gala—”
“You were way out of line.”
“I know, and I’m truly sorry. I’d like to make it up to you somehow.”
“There’s no need.”
“I’ve come to make peace. Not just for myself but for your parents, too. They’re really unhappy about this rift.”
“Unhappy or pissed off?”
“Well, you know them. The two kind of go hand in hand.”
“Did they send you?”
“No…not really, though they encouraged me to come. I have their full blessing.”
She paused and Nikki chided herself for eavesdropping. Tess’s bad habit had rubbed off on her. She reached for the handle to pull the door shut.
“The truth is that I’ve always been wild about you, Dylan.”
Nikki’s hand froze on the knob. She stood listening with her entire being. So Evelyn did want Dylan for herself.
“Evelyn—”
“Always, for as long as I remember. I broke things off with Nick. It wasn’t fair to him. I went as far as I did with him because I’d hoped it would jolt you into realizing your true feelings. It upset you to see me with him. You can’t deny it. I saw it in your eyes that night we stopped by and told you about our engagement.”
Nikki held her breath. Dylan had been upset about Evelyn’s engagement?
“I’m not going to deny that it bothered me, but—”
“I knew it.”
“No, it isn’t what you think.”
“I could make you so happy, Dylan. I know you. I’m your kind of people. You can’t deny who you are. You won’t be able to keep yourself cut off from your friends and family for much longer. You need us and, frankly, we need you.”
Nikki closed the door. Good God, Evelyn was right. Maybe Dylan didn’t have the prize family, but he himself had admitted he needed to feel connected. He already had a family he was a part of. Would mending his relationship with his parents bring him the peace he needed?
And by his own admission, he’d been upset about Evelyn’s engagement. Whether he felt ready to take her up on her offer didn’t really matter. As long as Nikki was around, Dylan wouldn’t be open to another relationship. Granted, he wasn’t likely to end up with Evelyn, but surely there were other decent women in their crowd.
Nikki closed her eyes. Could she live with herself if she didn’t free him to make the choice for himself? Slowly she opened the door and peered in. Music still blasted from the CD player, but neither Dylan nor Evelyn seemed to be around. She stepped into the foyer and glanced out the window beside the door. Her heart skipped a beat. They stood beside Evelyn’s car, locked in an embrace.
“Well, there you go. He’s on his way to conquer the world.” With a sick feeling in her stomach, she climbed the stairs.
WHERE HAD NIKKI GONE? SHE’D been missing since sometime that afternoon. Dylan paced through the rooms of his house, his frustration welling. It was getting late and she wasn’t answering her cell phone.
He shook his head at his own impatience. And she thought he would come to not want her anymore. She’d been missing for a couple of hours and he was jumping out of his skin waiting for her return.
The house was nearly done. He’d have to talk her into helping him shop for furniture. Yes, he wanted to make this house a place that reflected his tastes, his personality, but he wanted her to be comfortable here, too. He’d meant what he’d said about her moving in.
The stairs creaked as he headed up to the second floor. They had finished most of the work on this level. His gaze fell across the master bedroom door and he paused, frowning.
They hadn’t touched that room. How had he missed it? Somehow he had blotted that room from his mind. He’d hardly set foot in it since the night of the accident. He moved toward it and turned the knob.
The quiet of the house pressed down around him as he pushed through the door. He flipped the nearby switch, and light from the bedside table cast a soft glow along the walls. Funny how it could all look so familiar yet strange at the same time.
He moved to the dresser and fingered the hairbrush Kathy had used every morning and every night for as long as he could remember. When he’d gathered items for the yard sale, it hadn’t occurred to him to trespass in this room that had been a sanctuary to her. Had he thought of it, would he have been able to disturb her most personal possessions?
Dust coated the bristles. He rubbed his fingers together and tried to picture her perched on the side of the bed, running the
brush through her hair. He’d loved to sit back and watch the way the golden strands caught the light.
Slowly the memory surfaced and he could see her clearly—clearer than he’d envisioned her in all the time since she’d been gone. His chest swelled with all the love and tenderness he’d ever felt for her. His love for her was there. It hadn’t died with her. But peace flowed through him, too—a peace he couldn’t have known without Nikki.
It no longer hurt to think about Kathy.
He placed the brush back on the dresser, then searched in the closet until he found an empty hatbox. Kathy had been a collector of many things. He smiled at the box as he lifted the lid.
The time had come to gather the rest of her belongings. He would pack them up, then store them away for another day. He needed to make room for the trappings of his new life.
DYLAN’S HEART POUNDED AS he stared at his open closet an hour later. Where could Nikki be? He turned his back on the empty hangers and faced the room. How could she have left? She’d put as much into this house over the past weeks as he had. Not only had she labored beside him, she’d put a little of herself in each room. She had inspired the jungle motif that played in the leafy border of this bedroom, in the luscious trees of the entry and the pewter panther in his study. This was as much her home now as it was his.
And, damn it, he wanted her here to share it with him.
He grabbed the phone off the nightstand and punched in her number. After four rings, her cell phone switched into her voice mail.
“Nikki, where are you? I turn around and you disappear. I…need to talk to you. I figured out what the shadow was and it’s gone. I can feel it’s gone and I still want you. And, damn it, I need you.”
He hung up, feeling unsettled. Unsettled. That was it. Nikki wanted to feel settled down and, for some incomprehensible reason, she didn’t think she could do that here. So what would she do?
She’d go back to square one and restart her search for a house.
Now where had he put Ginger’s number?
18
NIKKI WALKED THROUGH THE house, trailing after Ginger, going through the motions: smiling at the hopeful owner, nodding in agreement to the little tidbits of information Ginger supplied, looking in each nook and cranny as though she were really interested. Why had she come? Her heart just wasn’t in it.