I know what she means. I feel it, too. “I want you every day, Lawrence. Not just a few days every couple of weeks.”
She moves up and down in a slow, deliberate motion. I grasp her bottom so I can move with her in perfect rhythm as she rides me. “You feel so good. A perfect fit.”
She tightens her hold on my shoulders. “I don’t want this to ever stop.”
Gliding my hands upward, I press her perfect breasts together and suck one nipple into my mouth. My teeth scrape over the hard, wet pebble and I thumb its twin.
Familiar quivers approach. “I’m about to come.”
Grabbing her face, I kiss her hard as I explode inside her, giving everything I have to give. This isn’t just sex. It’s more, and I’m not afraid.
I press my forehead to hers. “I’ve never felt like this either.”
I’m not confused by these feelings. I’m falling fast and hard for this woman.
She’s holding each side of my face, stroking my facial scruff. “I didn’t know that it was going to be like this. I didn’t know that I was going to want you this much. Monday is going to come too soon.”
“I’m trying to not think about you going back because I want to enjoy our time together, but the thought keeps sneaking into my head anyway.”
“I hate the thought of being apart for two weeks before I see you again.”
Lawrence and I aren’t fleeting. This relationship isn’t going away—I’m sure of it. “I want to tell your brother about us.”
She leans back and looks at me. “I thought we were going to wait and see how things went before we said anything.”
“I want to be together openly.” I want the world to know that Lawrence Thorn is mine. “What do you say, boho girl?”
She smiles and nods. “Let’s do it.”
Now the hard part—to convince Oliver that I can be trusted with Lawrence’s heart. No part of that is going to be easy.
* * *
“Hey, man.” Oliver steps into my house and we do the half-hug-handshake thing. “I’m glad you invited me over. It’s been too long since we got together outside of work.”
I told him that we’re watching the game on my big screen, and we are, but that’s not it entirely.
Oliver stops and looks at the spread of appetizers on the bar. “Damn. Is that fresh guacamole?”
“It is.”
“Looks like you went to a lot of trouble. I hope you don’t expect me to put out later.”
Actually, I’d settle for him not killing me at this point.
“I can’t take the credit for the food. My girlfriend made all of this.”
“Ah, the girlfriend. How’s that going?”
“It’s really good.”
“This relationship suits you. I see how happy you are.”
I’m glad he sees that. “I’m very happy and we’re hoping you will be too after you hear our news.”
Oliver’s head tilts. “News?”
I motion for him to follow me. “Let’s go into the living room.”
Lawrence stands when Oliver and I enter and she’s wearing a huge smile. “Hey, Ollie.”
He stops and turns to look at me after he sees her. “Oh hell no.”
I go to Lawrence’s side and we reach for each other’s hand at the same time, intertwining our fingers together. I give her two light squeezes and she returns the gesture.
Come on, Lucas. Stay strong. Be strong for Lawrence.
Oliver points his finger at me. “You damn liar. You swore to me that you didn’t—”
I put up my hand. “I didn’t lie. When you asked me, I had not.”
His lips temporarily form a hard line as he looks at me. “But I’d better not ask now because I wouldn’t like your answer, am I right?”
Lawrence releases my hand and goes to him. “Please, Ollie. Don’t be—”
He grabs her arms. “Lawry. You don’t know how he is with women.”
“You’re right. I don’t. I only know how he is with me.”
He releases her and looks in my direction, all of his anger focused on me. “When did this start?”
I see no need to mention the beer festival. “We decided a couple of weeks ago to pursue a relationship.”
“Savannah—you invited yourself to go so you could see her.”
“I had to know if we were feeling the same thing.”
“I assume you were or we wouldn’t be here having this conversation now.”
Oliver flicks his wrist at us. “What is this? And I swear to God I’ll kick your ass if you say fuck buddies.”
Lawrence comes to me and takes my hand again. “We’re in a relationship.”
“But you’re there and he’s here.”
I know. It sounds impossible.
“We’re making it work.”
“Lawry, I need to talk to Lucas alone, please.”
She releases my hand and walks toward the kitchen, touching Oliver’s shoulder as she passes. “Please be nice.”
Oliver sinks into my recliner and runs his hands through the top of his hair. “I’m so pissed off at you right now.”
I knew that I’d have to face Oliver’s fury. And doubt. “I have nothing but good intentions where Lawrence is concerned.”
“Lawrence has never been in love and I’m scared for her. I’m afraid that she’ll love you with all her heart and you’ll break it.”
No other woman has ever caused my heart to ache at the thought of not having her in my life. “I’m not going to break her heart. I swear. Our relationship is different than anything I’ve ever experienced. She’s different. And I’m different with her. You’ve seen the changes in me.”
“I can’t deny that.”
“I didn’t plan on falling in love with Lawrence. But at some point it happened, and damn… I’m a goner.”
“You actually mean that?”
“I did you a huge favor once and you owe me big time… per your words. Now, I’m collecting on your debt. I want Lawrence.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
We don’t need Oliver’s support but I admit that it would make things easier. And it would make Lawrence happy. “Say you’ll trust me with your sister. Give us your blessing.”
Leaning forward, he rests his head in his hands, saying nothing. A few moments later, he sighs loudly and finally lifts his head. “I can’t give you my trust or blessing right now, but I will give you a chance.”
A chance is better than nothing. “Thank you.”
“Lucas… do not fuck my sister over. And don’t you dare let her down. She’s had enough letdowns in her life.”
There’s an underlying smile threatening to break through his tough exterior, and I see it for the front that it is. He’s happy about this. I see it in his eyes even if he doesn’t admit it.
“I won’t let her down.”
“You’d better not. Trust me when I say that I will take it out on your ass if you make me sorry for giving you the benefit of the doubt.”
There’s that smirk that I’m used to seeing. “I understand.”
“And you have to tell her everything about your marriage and your history with women so she isn’t going into this blind.”
“Lawrence knows everything. She has since the first weekend we met. I’ve been very open and it isn’t an issue for her.”
“You’re aware there will be problems between us if this goes down in flames because of you?”
I don’t doubt that for a second.
“I gave that a lot of consideration before I chose to pursue her. I value our friendship and partnership so I didn’t make that decision lightly.”
Oliver swears beneath his breath and chuckles. “Porter is going to be pissed off. He’s wanted Lawrence for years but I told him she was hands-off.”
Well, he told me that, too, but a helluva lot of good that did.
There’s still an issue we need to discuss, and I’m afraid that Oliver isn’t going to be very happy with me. �
��I want this to work with Lawrence, and if it does, I don’t want a lie to come between us.”
“Good because lies never work in relationships.”
“I’m glad to hear that you feel that way. I’m hoping that means you’ll understand why I had to tell her about the texts I made on your behalf.”
“What the fuck did you tell her?”
“The truth. But don’t worry. She’s okay with it.”
He stares at me with wide eyes. “Lawry would never be okay with me going to rehab.”
“She was upset at first but I explained everything. She understands the reason.”
“It’s awesome that you want to be honest with her from the start, but dude, you broke your word to me.”
“I did and I’d do it again if given the choice.”
“Can I be there when you tell Porter? I want to see his face.”
I’m not crazy about the thought of Porter having a thing for Lawrence. Better he knows sooner rather than later. “Ask him to come watch the game. There’s plenty of food.”
“I’ll text him and see what’s he up to.” Oliver’s phone swooshes when he finishes typing. “This is nice. We haven’t done anything together outside of work in a while.”
“Come back in here, babe,” I call out to Lawrence.
“That’s weird hearing you call my sister that. It’s going to take some getting used to.”
I didn’t really even mean to call her babe. It just sort of naturally rolled off my tongue.
Lawrence returns to the living room and sinks into the sofa next to me. “I’m happy to see that everyone is still in one piece.”
“He took it easy on me.” And he really did. Oliver could have been much more difficult.
“I took it easy on him because he was very convincing about how much he cares for you.”
“Thank you for not being an ass about this.” Lawrence wraps her arm around mine and presses her cheek to my bicep. “Because I’m crazy about this guy.”
Oliver glances at his phone when it beeps. “Porter’s coming and I can’t wait to see his face when he hears about the two of you.”
Porter is protective of Lawrence. I’m not really looking forward to telling him about us after all the shit he’s given me about her.
I finish off a beer and I’m working on the next one when Porter arrives at my place. “Damn, this is a helluva spread.”
“His girlfriend made all the food.” Oliver chuckles and then bites a tortilla chip covered in guacamole. “You have to try the guac. It’s amazing.”
“Hey, isn’t that Lawrence’s Wagoneer out front?”
Oliver chews and nods. “Sure is.”
“I didn’t know she was in town.”
“That makes two of us,” Oliver says and then looks at me.
Porter’s eyes narrow and focus on me until Lawrence enters the kitchen. “Hey, Porter. How are you?”
His only reply is an intent stare in my direction.
“Everything okay in here?” Lawrence asks.
Porter smiles. “You and Lucas, huh?”
Ah, he’s putting it together.
“Yeah. Me and Lucas.”
I wait for it… wait for it. But the angry outburst that I expect doesn’t come.
“Congratu-fucking-lations.” He holds up the beer he just opened. “I propose a toast.”
Wait a minute. Is this a real toast or something else? With Porter, I’m not sure.
Our four bottlenecks meet and I wait to hear what he has to say. “To Lucas and Lawrence. Break her heart and I’ll break your fucking neck.”
“Aww, that was sweet, Porter. Thank you.”
“Sweet? He threatened to break my fucking neck.”
Lawrence comes to stand between my legs and I wrap my arms around her waist. Because I can’t resist, I bury my nose in her hair and inhale. Fuck, I love the way she smells.
“Then I guess that you’d better not break my heart.”
“Not planning on it.”
Porter shakes his head. “You’re really okay with this?”
Oliver shrugs. “I guess I have to be. What say do I have in it?”
Just as we didn’t need Oliver’s approval, we don’t need Porter’s either but I’d like to have it. “Are you okay with this?”
Porter’s shoulders rise and fall. “Sure, I’m okay with it.”
Thank fuck.
No more lies.
No more deceit.
No more sneaking around.
No more pretending.
Everything is finally coming together for Lawrence and me.
20
Lawrence Thorn
I’m trapped in a half-awake, half-asleep realm within my mind. My body is trembling because I’m sobbing so hard. Half asleep or half awake, I’m alert enough to know that much. As hard as I try, I can’t open my eyes.
And until I do, I’m unable to escape the monsters.
“Lawrence.”
My body is being shaken but my eyelids refuse to obey my brain’s command to open.
If you open your eyes, Lawrence, your dolly goes in the garbage.
“Lawrence.”
Lucas is hovering above me when I finally open my eyes. The room is dark except for the dim light of the lamp next to my bed. “Wake up, baby. You’re freaking me out.”
Warm tears roll from my eyes into my hair and mucus rattles in my nose when I inhale. There’s a spasmodic contraction in my throat as I catch my breath.
Damn. I was crying in my sleep again.
“What was that?”
I look around so I can get my bearings. This is my apartment in Savannah. My bedroom. Lucas is here. This is his weekend to come to me. I’m not in that trailer where they can hurt me.
“It was just a dream.”
“That was more than just an ordinary dream.”
“It was a nightmare but nothing’s wrong. I’m okay now.”
“Don’t push me away, Lawrence. I want to be here for you. Talk to me about it.”
I don’t want this. I don’t want to talk about the things they did to us. I want to forget the first ten years of my life ever happened.
Lucas won’t understand. He had a happy childhood. He won’t understand what it was like growing up the way that I did.
“Talk to me, baby.”
One part of my brain is telling me to shove everything under the rug. Pretend that it didn’t happen. And the other part? It’s screaming at me to trust this man enough to tell him about my past.
“I was having a nightmare about my birth mother.”
“What about her?”
My childhood makes me feel ashamed and I don’t know why. None of it was my fault. Our parents are the ones who should be ashamed of what they did to Ollie and me.
“You can tell me about it.”
I scoot close to Lucas and press my face to his chest.
“When we were little, Santa didn’t exist for us.” Those words alone make me want to cry. “Christie and Jimmy were always broke from buying drugs and too lazy to go sign us up for the angel tree at the mall. That meant Ollie and I didn’t wake up on Christmas morning and have presents to open like other kids.”
Lucas squeezes me to his chest. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“There was this one Christmas when someone left each of us a present on the front porch of our trailer.” I’d never been so happy in my life. I still don’t know who our secret Santa was. “We thought we’d finally been good enough for Santa to put us on his nice list. Ollie got a fire truck with all the bells and whistles and I got a beautiful doll with long blond hair that I could brush. I named her Alexis. God, I loved that doll so much. Christie took her away from me, nailed her on the wall, and told me when I learned to be good she’d let me have her back.”
Lucas swears beneath his breath. “What a cruel thing to do to a child.”
“I would sit in a chair and stare at Alexis on the wall. Sometimes I would push the chair up and try to touch her when Chr
istie was gone, but I could never quite reach her. I understand now that she did that on purpose—hanging her just barely out of my reach.”
Lucas kisses the top of my head.
“I did everything Christie wanted, believing that she would give Alexis back to me. But that didn’t happen.”
I inhale deeply before I begin the next part of the story. The worst part.
“One of her dealers came by to collect money she owed for drugs. Of course, she didn’t have it. That’s when she told me there was a way I could earn my doll back. All I had to do was be really nice to Malcolm and play some games with him. I was only ten but I knew what she meant.”
Lucas’s chest rises and falls more rapidly but he says nothing.
“I heard an inner voice telling me to run. It told me to get out because something bad was going to happen if I didn’t. So I did. I ran and ran and ran. When I came back, Christie put me in the corner, took my doll off the wall, and made me watch her cut all of her hair off and draw on her face with a marker. That’s what I was dreaming about just now. Her and Alexis.”
Lucas pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head again. “I’m so sorry that happened, and I’m so sorry that it still haunts you.”
“Thank God we were taken away a few days later. But not before I told Jimmy what she did with Malcolm and what she wanted me to do. He beat her to a bloody pulp. She could hardly walk and I was happy about it.”
I wish that I could say Jimmy was punishing her for what she tried to make me do with Malcolm, but I’d be fooling myself. It’s more likely that he was angry because Christie got her hands on some drugs and didn’t share it with him.
“I don’t know how you could ever consider giving that vile woman a kidney.”
Most people don’t understand why I live the way that I do.
“I didn’t stop hating my birth parents because they earned my forgiveness. Forgiving them is about me and the peace that I deserved. Hate is exhausting. My life became so much happier after I decided to accept the apology that they never gave to me.”
“My God, you are an amazing woman.”
“Not amazing. It took years of therapy to get to this place.”
Southern Girl Series: Bohemain Girl, Neighbor Girl & Intern Girl Page 20