“She could be making up the cramping part,” I point out.
He exhales harshly and shakes his head. “Could you give her the benefit of the doubt for once?”
My jaw goes slack. He can’t be serious. “Excuse me for not trusting her after everything she’s done. Did she even go to the doctor?”
He looks at me a moment before shaking his head.
“See!” I throw my hands in the air. “If there really was something wrong she’d have gone to the damn doctor.”
“She thought everything would be okay once I got back and she could relax.”
“Oh please,” I groan. “And you buy that shit?”
“What choice do I have?”
I turn my entire body to face him, incredulous. “You’re the father! Make her ass go to the doctor if something is wrong.”
“I tried!” He shoots up and stares at me. “I spent the entire night trying to convince her.”
“And it didn’t work, did it?” I challenge and return his stare.
He looks to the window behind me and shakes his head, infinitesimally.
I jump up. “Of course it didn’t because there’s absolutely nothing the matter with her!”
“You know what?” He looks back at me. “I hope nothing is wrong with her. Do you have any idea what it would do to me if something happened to that kid, and I wasn’t here?”
“Oh my god.” I raise my eyebrows in disbelief. “Her guilt trip actually worked. She made you feel guilty for going away with me.”
He sits on the couch with slumped shoulders and looks at the floor. “What I did was irresponsible. I left the mother of my child with no means of getting ahold of me.”
Man, she did a number on him. He really feels guilty. I sit next to him on the couch and when I speak my voice is calm. “Your mother had your number. I’m sure she would’ve called you if she thought it was important.”
He slaps his thighs, frustrated. “It’s not up to my mom to decide what is and is not important.”
So much for trying to be calm. “Camilla doesn’t believe her shit either does she? That’s why she didn’t call you.”
“Sophie,” he sighs, “it doesn’t matter if we believe her or not. If Candace says something is wrong and she needs me, I’m obligated to be there. Don’t you get that?”
You’re the one who doesn’t get it. “As long as you’re with me and not her, there will always be something wrong with her. Don’t you get that?”
He rubs his face. “Fuck!” He kicks the side of the coffee table and sends it across the room. The dog yelps and trots to the far side of the room.
I flinch in reaction to his physical outburst and move away from the couch. “I knew this would happen. I knew she’d find a way to come between us when we got back. You said you wouldn’t let it happen.”
His phone rings. Thankfully it isn’t Candace. He yanks it from his pocket and snarls into the phone. “What?” He listens to the caller. “I’m on my way.”
“And now you have to go.” Could our luck get any worse?
“It’s the shop. There’s a problem with a build.” He stands up and reaches for my hand. “I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“I wasn’t scared.” Surprised, but not scared.
He kisses the top of my hand and gives me a sad smile. “Remember those bad days I said we would have?”
I nod and look to the floor trying not to cry.
“This is one of them.” He tilts my chin up with his index finger. His eyes are soft and sincere. “But it doesn’t mean I’m going to let anything come between us. I love you, Sophie. Nothing will change that.”
A lone tear spills down my cheek.
When we crawl into his bed later that night he pulls me against his chest and kisses the top of my head. I know it isn’t a good time to ask, but I’m desperate for the answer to a burning question.
“Do you regret going away?”
He’s quiet for a moment. “Yes and no. You and I needed the time together and I’m glad we had it, but I regret what it caused.”
“Do you wish we hadn’t gone?”
“No,” he rakes his fingers through my hair, “but I wish I’d handled it different.”
He wishes he hadn’t cut communication with Candace. “It’s like we took one step forward and three steps back.”
He tilts my face up to look at him. “You and I will be fine, babe. I promise.”
“What about Candace? Are you going to be back to running to her every time she calls?”
He looks up at the ceiling and sighs. “I’m just going to take it call by call, day by day. That’s all I can do.”
Chapter 41
Choosing Us
The next two days pass in a haze. Rooter works during the day, I work at night. We exchange texts throughout the day and see each other when I get home. We don’t talk about Candace or much of anything else for that matter. At night, we crawl into bed and he holds me until I fall asleep, then he wakes up at six for work and the day starts all over again.
We haven’t made love since we’ve been back home. We’re both too mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted to do anything more than just… be.
I don’t know what I’d do without Ryan. He listens and holds me as I scream and cry. He supports whatever decision I make, but he thinks Rooter and I need to take time apart to assess whether being together is really worth the pain and frustration. Will things ever get better where Candace is concerned? Because if not we better either learn to like our current predicament or cut ties and go our separate ways.
Candace will be a staple in Rooter’s life forever now that they’re having a kid together. Not to mention the history they have. As much as he and I care for one another, we’re new to each other. They’ve known each other for years. Realistically, I need to accept the possibility that their bond is stronger than his and mine.
But I am stubborn. I am resolute. Rooter is mine and I will not let her take him away from me. Not without one hell of a fight, anyway. I’ve experienced how good he and I are together. We fit perfectly together in every way.
I wrack my brain trying to come up with a solution or at least a way to level the field with Candace. I find myself wishing she’d lose the baby and I hate myself for it, but it might very well be the only way to get rid of her. I’ve also had the crazy notion of getting pregnant myself. I’d never do that. I’m not ready to be a mom. But the thought has occurred to me in my moments of desperation.
I’ve had a lot of desperate moments these past two days.
Ryan says if I refuse to take a break I need to sit back and let the situation play itself out. Let Rooter deal with Candace and the pregnancy and do my own thing when he’s not around. It’ll work out the way it’s meant to. Either we’ll end up together or we won’t.
But it’s not in me to sit back and let things happen around me. I detest the feeling of powerlessness. However, that’s exactly what I am here; completely and utterly powerless.
But I’m a fighter. I’ve had to fight my entire life. It’s what I know best. So it’s what I’m going to do.
I text Rooter: I need some Jace time. 6:00. You, me, Jack, and pasta. S
He texts back almost immediately: Sounds great babe. Luv u.
Rooter walks through the door eight minutes before six with frustration etched into his face. He throws his cut to the floor and pulls me into his arms. “Coming home to you is the only thing that got me through this day.”
“Everything okay?” I ask, wondering if his agitation has anything to do with her.
“It’s fine now.” He strokes the sides of my face and kisses me tenderly. “It smells fantastic in here.”
I go to the counter and fill a rocks glass with whiskey and hand it to him. “I made chicken alfredo. Garlic bread is in the oven. I also made a salad.”
“Sounds perfect. I’m starved.” He takes a long swig of the whiskey and leans against the counter.
I pull the bread out of
the oven and make our plates. Rooter holds my hand while we eat though he doesn’t say much. He asks about my day and listens as I tell him about my lunch with Ryan, but he’s distracted. His mind is elsewhere. Something’s wrong.
“Are you sure everything is okay?” I ask.
He looks at me. Whatever it is, he doesn’t want to say. It must be about Candace.
“You can tell me,” I encourage him and squeeze his hand.
“She went to the doctor today.” He rubs the back of his neck. “She’s still cramping and bleeding. Her blood pressure is through the roof. The baby is okay for now, but the doctor said absolutely no more stress or she could miscarry.”
“I’m sorry.” I mean it. I may hate Cand-ass but I’d never wish anything ill on an innocent baby.
“She’s a wreck which isn’t helping anything. She insists she needs me there with her. That it’s the only way she’ll get the stress under control.”
I roll my eyes and start to speak but he continues.
“I realize part of it is her and her games, but I saw the paper from the doctor. This is real. I don’t know what to do, babe.”
“Were you with her before you came home?”
He nods.
“She probably wasn’t too happy when you left.”
He looks at his empty plate and shakes his head.
“And now you feel guilty.”
He looks at me a moment. The answer is in his eyes.
“Do you think you should’ve stayed?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
He rubs his eyes with his thumb and index finger. “I feel split in two. I should do whatever I can to help the baby, but I don’t want to risk losing you.”
The last thing I want is for him to be torn between me and his baby. Now that I know she went to the doctor and something really is wrong, I can’t be so selfish as to expect him to put me above the wellbeing of his unborn child. “If your being with me makes her so stressed that she miscarries… I can’t let that happen.”
“What are you saying?” His eyes go wide, stricken with panic.
“I’m saying you should go back there and get her settled down.”
He breathes a sigh of relief and reaches for my hand. “Shit, you scared me.”
“I’ll clean this up and let Dopey out before I go home.”
“You don’t have to go home. Bear’s there with Miranda and I seriously doubt they’re playing scrabble.”
Yeah. Because they get to have an actual relationship. I try to hide my envy. “I need to catch up on laundry. I can always put my iPod on.”
“Do you want me to come over when I get back?”
I shake my head. “We could both use a good night’s sleep.”
Rooter leans forward and rests his forehead on his clasped hands. “You’re mad.”
“I promise I’m not.” I’m really not mad. Sad and disappointed? Yes. I take my plate to the kitchen sink and Rooter follows me.
“Then why won’t you stay?”
“Because I need a little me time.” I rinse my plate and set it inside the dishwasher. I walk toward the dining room table to clear it off but he puts his hand on my shoulder to stop me.
“Earlier you needed Jace time.”
I try to hide my disappointment when I look into his eyes. “Candace needs you more.”
“I’m staying.”
I shrug his hand away and gather the dirty dishes. “Rooter, you need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“I refuse to leave things like this.”
“Things are fine.” I lie, trying to convince myself as much as him and carry the dishes to the sink.
Once my hands are empty Rooter pulls me into a tight embrace. “I love you. I’m staying.”
And then his phone rings. It’s her. I pull away.
“You should answer it and tell her you’re on your way.”
Rooter takes his phone out of his back pocket. “Yeah?”
I dig through his cupboards looking for containers for the leftovers.
“Of course I care,” he says into the phone, “but I can’t be there every second of every day.”
I hear her scream, “You care more about your princess than you do your own kid.”
“This is exactly why you’re in this condition,” he tells her. “You refuse to accept the situation for what it is and you’re getting yourself all worked up.”
She screams something unintelligible and then the phone goes quiet. Rooter stares at the screen a moment before putting it back in his pocket. “She hung up on me.”
“Don’t you think you should go?”
“I honestly don’t know, Sophie.” He sweeps a hand through his hair. “I’m worried about the kid. But my going there won’t fix anything because the same thing will happen tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. She won’t be happy unless she and I are together and that isn’t happening.”
“I agree, but if you stay you’ll spend the entire night worrying.”
He leans against the counter and stares at the floor. “My pop once told me that ninety nine percent of the things we worry about never come to pass. That I shouldn’t drive myself crazy worrying about all the things that could go wrong.”
“What if something happens and you aren’t there?”
“I don’t know.” He looks in my eyes. “All I know is that I need to pick my battles wisely. Something may or may not happen with Candace and the baby tonight.” He walks over and takes my hands. “But what I’m sure of is if I leave you’ll start giving up on me. So I’m going to stay here and believe everything will be okay with the baby.”
“If something happens…”
He puts two fingers on my lips to quiet me. “The only thing that’s going to happen tonight is you and me cuddling in bed and talking until we pass out.”
After we clean the kitchen, Rooter takes me upstairs and gives me an hour long back rub which nearly puts me to sleep. Afterward he cuddles with me exactly the way he said he would. As much as I miss making love with him, I’m glad we’re just lying here, side by side talking about our day: A geriatric woman in an old Caprice Classic ran me off the road. Business is booming at the shop. One of the guys nearly sliced three fingers off working on a build. His mom called him earlier and told him it’s imperative we attend this Sunday’s family dinner. He laughs when I tell him she called me too.
Camilla also called me on Monday to discuss the incident at their house. She told me she knew I wouldn’t have attacked Candace and didn’t want me to worry about what she thought. She knows Candace is out of her mind. We had a pleasant conversation, and she said she’d like to get together soon, just the two of us.
I’m not sure what time it is when we fall asleep hand in hand, but the clock reads two-oh-six when I’m awoken by kisses on the small of my back.
“Mm, that feels nice,” I murmur sleepily.
“I’ve been dying to do this since I gave you the back rub,” Rooter chuckles lightly against my skin, “but I was trying to be chivalrous.”
He brushes his lips against my skin so lightly that it almost tickles, planting kisses from my lower back up to my neck. I begin to roll over to face him but he tells me to stay the way I am. His bare, hard length is pressed against my backside. I slide my hand behind me to stroke him and he sucks in a breath.
“I need to be inside you,” he hisses in my ear.
He pulls my panties down part way with his hands and then removes them the rest of the way with his foot. I feel him pull away and then hear the drawer of the nightstand open followed by the crackle of a condom packet. A moment later he’s pressed up against my back again. He drapes my top leg over his giving him full access to me. It’s like a bolt of electricity when his finger slides into me.
“So wet already,” he whispers and slips his finger in and out.
He pulls his finger out and then positions the tip of his cock between my legs. When he enters me it’s at an agonizingly slow pace. He pulls back and enters
again just as slowly. Once he’s seated fully inside me he rotates his hips. We’ve never made love in this position. I like it. A lot.
He keeps up the same slow pace and reaches down to stroke my clit, up and down, around and around.
“I love you, Sophie.” Settled all the way inside me he stops moving and circles my clit with his middle and index fingers. “I want to feel you come like this, while I’m still inside you.”
He nips my neck and continues to stroke me. The fullness of him being motionless inside me adds to the pleasure he gives me with his fingers. He knows just how to touch me. I squeeze my eyes shut and delight in the sensation.
“That feels so good. You’re so big inside me.”
“That’s right, baby. Talk to me.” His voice is gruff and full of lust. “Are you getting close?”
“Yeah,” I bite my lip.
His fingers make faster circles around my clit. “Say my name when you come.”
Every now and then I feel him twitch inside me as he works me with his hand and it pushes me higher and closer to my peak. My center throbs with aching need as the first wave crashes over me. I grab his hand and slow the movement of his fingers. I want this orgasm to last. I want it to feel so good it hurts. When it hits me my toes curl and I scream his name.
“Oh yeah, baby. You’re so tight around me.”
The moment my orgasm subsides Rooter moves frantically inside me. His fingers dig into my hips as he pounds into me again and again. The room is filled with the sounds of moans, his and mine, and our wet skin slapping together.
Before I know it I’m rocked by the shockwaves of another orgasm. When I scream his name a strangled curse escapes Rooter’s lips, and he stops slamming into me. He draws me into his arms and shudders with his release.
“I love you so much, Sophie,” he says in a strained voice as he comes.
When the alarm clock sounds at six I wake with a giant smile on my face, remembering last night. Rooter stayed. He held me. He made love to me.
He chose me.
Chapter 42
Finding Our Way
Thursday and Friday pass much the same as Monday and Tuesday had with Rooter and me only seeing each other after I get off work. Candace has reached out to him each day, and he’s gone over to check on her. She claims she’s still as stressed as ever, though nothing has happened with the baby.
Rooter (Double H Romance) Page 32