In a sense, Leo was like Argus. They had gone through rough patches and they had to bring their defenses up. Argus became scared and rude and jumpy to the point of charging someone who got too close. Leo ended up slipping lower and, to numb his suffering, he threw himself into a life without control, and now he omitted his past to anyone, including me.
Officer Michael had been the first to interfere in Argus’s suffering. Then I came into the picture, and even Leo helped me bring the horse back from the darkness. We weren’t done, but Argus had come a long way from where he was before.
Like Ricardo, Pedro, Bia, and Guilherme did for Leo. Like he said, he couldn’t erase his past, but he was trying to be better now. He was better now.
Right then, I realized I didn’t have any reason to be mad at him. A little disappointed, yes, but not mad. The past was the past. It was done and wouldn’t change. What mattered was the now. And right now, he was here with me, asking me to understand him and his reasons.
I finally reached over and caressed the back of his hand with mine.
After a second of shock, he pulled his hand away. “I told you once, Hannah, I’m not a good guy, and I tried hiding this fact even from myself, but it doesn’t matter. The past always catches up.”
It sure did. But … I understood him. At least, I thought I did. He had gone through a war zone and was still living with its ghost.
It couldn’t be easy.
But here he was, telling me everything from his side, and it really wasn’t easy. I couldn’t imagine being in his situation.
When I lost grandma and Hercules, I had Eric, who still seemed like a good guy back then, to keep me strong. Besides, I had the ranch to take care of. Even so, I had my ways of protesting, like not riding another horse ever again, or not getting attached to them.
If I didn’t have that, I would probably have sunk deeper, just like Leo did.
“We came to start over and my past found us,” he continued. “The club suspended me, and they mentioned breaking the team’s contract and sending us back to Brazil. We don’t want that, but it’s not our choice anymore. And because of me, the entire team is paying the price.” He closed his eyes for a moment. His inner struggle was visible, and I couldn’t help but feel a little sympathy toward him and what he went through. “Right after I rejoined the team and we ran into our first problems, I asked to get out. My father was happy to oblige, but the others wouldn’t let me. Once more, they threatened to stop playing if I did. Then, when the opportunity to come here looked real, I mentioned not coming with them, because deep down I knew we couldn’t hide my past from the world for long. I knew and yet, I ignored it, especially when they seemed so intent on not letting me go. So we came. And now here we are.” He pointed to the car behind him and the cap on his head. “I really should ignore their threats and leave the team. They could find a better replacement and go on with it.”
“I honestly think they understand the consequences of their own choices. Besides, I don’t think they would let you quit. Even if they did, what would you do with your life?”
He shrugged and something like frustration flashed in his eyes. “Without them, without polo, and without you? I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it.”
My heart skipped a beat. Without me?
A lumped clogged my throat, and I hastily pushed it down. “Do you think you would go back to the way it was before?” He looked away and didn’t answer me. I scooted closer to the edge of my seat, closer to him. “Hey, Leo, talk to me.” I offered him an encouraging smile. “Isn’t that what you always asked me to do? Now I’m asking you the same. Talk to me.”
His gaze met mine again. There was pure fear swimming freely in his blue-green ocean, and I wanted to jump in and save him from drowning.
“My rage and my disappointment would probably take over, and I would let myself go back to that life. And trust me, this time I wouldn’t want to wake up from it, because the shame would be too great. I would rather die from an overdose.”
I shuddered. “You don’t mean it.”
“Oh, I do. I really do.” He frowned, his jaw even tighter than before. “Now, it’s your turn. Why didn’t you leave that bastard yet?”
The change of subject caught me off guard and it took me a minute to answer. “Long story short, Eric is jealous to the point of violence. He also doesn’t like when people don’t agree with him. And I don’t agree with him. So, the years passed and he got more and more violent, until he hit me for the first time a few weeks ago. I was determined to end things with him right then but—”
“Wait.” Leo raised his finger. “That day at my house, when we rode the monster truck, he had already hit you then?” I lowered my gaze and nodded. “Filho duma puta, how come I didn’t see it?”
“Because I waited for the bruises to go away before driving to your house.”
“I can’t believe it,” he muttered in harsh tones.
“He’s much stronger than I am. I can’t stop him from hitting me when he wants to.”
Leo’s jaw popped, his neck tense, his hands closed in fists. “Tche, this isn’t happening.”
“At first, I wanted to keep it quiet because I didn’t want a scandal. I still don’t. Can you imagine how many lives something like this would affect? My parents, the club’s reputation. I can’t be the cause of that. Especially because the majority of them would believe Eric and whatever lie he told them, not me.”
“A little too late to think of the club’s reputation now,” he said in a sad voice. “Believe me when I say this, you shouldn’t care what the truth will bring, because even when you think you’re doing everything right, there is always someone there to spoil it.”
I understood his statement. It was true for him, but I shook my head. “It isn’t that simple. If the problem was only with me, don’t you think I would have just left? Hidden in my parents’ house or gone for a mini-vacation in Europe to recover from this all? I tried leaving. I tried threatening him.” The tears burned behind my eyes. “When I told him I would go to the police, he threatened to go after my sister and hurt her. Really hurt her.”
A sob lodged in my throat.
Leo cursed in Portuguese before turning to me with worried eyes. “Do you really think he would go after your sister?”
I opened my arms. “Look at me? About a month ago, I bet you would never think Eric could hit a woman. Neither did I. Well, guess what? He does. Only God knows what else he does.” I paused. “I have this theory that he uses his charms and social skills to use other people too.” I pointed to myself. “Not at hitting level, but I mean it. And perhaps most people don’t even notice what is happening because they are so glad they can help him, they can be around him, or whatever.”
“It makes sense. It’s sick, but makes sense.”
“So, do you really think he wouldn’t go after my sister?” Leo didn’t answer me, but I saw on his tight expression, on his coiled body, that he knew Eric would go after Hilary. “I can’t risk it,” I whispered.
“Now what? You stay with him and let him beat the crap out of you?”
“When I do what he wants me to do, he doesn’t beat me.”
Leo’s eyes widened. “Meu Deus, did he rape you?”
“No, no.” I looked away. “He says I’ll accept my new life and he’ll wait for me to want him back.”
Leo let out a relieved breath. “At least he’s not a rapist.”
“Yet.”
He tensed again. “All right, that’s it. You’re not going back there. I don’t care what you say. You have to stay away from him. Very, very far from him. Don’t go back there. Come with me. I’ll help you out, and then you can walk away and go back to your life.”
“What do you mean?”
He sighed. “If I’m honest with myself, I would tell you to stay away from me too. I tried staying away from you, Hannah. I really did … but I can’t. So I’m telling you, you have to stay away from me too.”
It took
me a minute to understand his words. “Wait. You begged me to meet you, to call you and let you explain, and now you’re sending me away?”
He lowered his gaze to his hands on his lap. “It’s for the best.”
I shook my head. What was wrong with him?
Suddenly, it all made sense. I never believed in coincidences, and now I knew why Argus and Leo had come into my life. Argus was broken, just like Leo. Just like I was broken. We had been brought together to heal each other … together. They were my strength, the same way I was theirs.
I wouldn’t let him drown in the ocean.
“Leo, look at me,” I said, trying to keep my voice soft. When he didn’t, I took it up a notch. “Leo, please, look at me.” Slowly, he raised his eyes to mine. They shone with unshed tears. My heart lurched. “Now tell me, looking at me, that you meant it. That you want me to stay away from you. That you have no feelings for me.” He snorted and averted his gaze once again. “Please, tell me.”
When his eyes found mine, I could feel the fight in him. I could see it. “Don’t ask me that.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to lie to you.”
“Then don’t lie.”
After an entire minute staring at each other without any other movement, he groaned. “Fine. I can’t stand the thought of you away from me. I want you. Too much. All of you. But you shouldn—”
I put my finger over his lips to cut him off, because my heart had just exploded with relief and hope, and I didn’t want him to ruin it with words he didn’t mean.
More importantly, my heart was filled with courage.
I crawled onto his lap, and as he readjusted himself in the seat, lowering his leg and turning to the front, I straddled him. My hands curled over his shoulders, and his hands rested on my waist. I looked down at him, at his beautiful, surprised face, in delight. In turn, he looked up, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly open.
“Was it that bad?” I asked in a whisper. “To admit that?”
“Morena …”
“Say it again.” I lowered my face to his, but held it an inch from his. He straightened, trying to touch his lips to mine, but I retreated a bit. “If you mean it, say it again.”
His intense gaze took my breath away. “No. I’ll do better.” He slid his hands from my waist to my shoulder blades, and he pulled me down, against his chest. I gasped. The movement brought my face lower, and he brushed his lips on mine. A shuddering breath escaped my mouth. Then he pulled back a little and stared into my eyes. “I love you.”
I froze.
What? I gawked at him, and he watched me with half a smile.
From the pocket of his hoodie, he fished a purple Douglas Iris out and placed it over my ear, like he always did. He had that flower there the whole time?
“I bet I had this same expression when you crawled onto my lap a few seconds ago,” he said, still smiling.
I shook my head once, trying to order my thoughts. “What did you say?”
His smile widened as he wound his arms around my waist. “I. Love. You,” he whispered without taking his eyes from mine. I fought against the new tears. “Hey, now. I didn’t want to make you cry.”
I chuckled, touching the flower. “Yeah, right.”
“I was hoping for something a little more cheery.”
I wiped away the tears before they could fall. “These are happy tears.”
He kissed my chin and I shivered. “Oh yeah?”
I tilted my head to his until our mouths were touching. “Yeah,” I whispered against his lips.
Without any hesitation, Leo buried his hand in my hair and pulled my mouth down to him. His lips closed over mine, and I was transported instantly to cloud nine.
I had no idea how I could go from an oppressed and frustrated girl to a loving and horny woman in a matter of seconds. Wait. I knew how. When I was with Eric, I was someone else. I lived in a world I didn’t want to, did things I didn’t want to. It wasn’t my life, and in my mind, I knew I wouldn’t live forever like that, even though I didn’t see how to break free from that life yet.
When I was with Leo, I was my real self. I was much more like the girl who started dating Eric over two years ago, but I was more mature and surer of myself. And … I thought I was in love with Leo. And I was sure I was horny, being that I was on celibate mode for almost two months. Or more. The thing was, I was also sure that sleeping with Leo would be magical just because it would be him, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I shuddered when his mouth trailed down my neck. My hands found the zipper of his hoodie. I opened it and quickly took it off. Leo raised his back from the seat to help me, his breath warm and rapid over my skin, making the heat building in my stomach travel lower.
His hands glided down to my hips and he pressed me down, against his hips. I moaned as his erection brushed against my pelvis. I shimmied my hips, increasing the contact area and the friction, and Leo groaned, biting the soft spot between my neck and shoulder.
“Meu Deus, morena.” He pressed a lingering kiss on my skin, and I bit his earlobe, making him groan again. “Keep that up and you’re gonna make me come.”
I deliberately hovered my lips over his ear, provoking him with my erratic breathing. “You say it like it would be a bad thing.”
“Oh, I would rather be inside you when that happens,” he said, and I shivered. “Damn, I want to be inside you so bad.”
His hand moved. One went up, under my top. His fingers caressed my skin, and the contact was earth-shattering. I wanted to take off our shirts and embraced him, feel every inch of his skin against mine. The other hand went down to the inside of my thigh.
I shivered once more. “I want that too.”
His tongue trailed up my neck. “I feel like a horny teenager right now.” He pulled back and stared into my eyes. “But this is more than just a quick fling. I love you, Hannah, and when I make love to you, it’s gonna be in a nice place and it’s gonna be beautiful. Perfect. And once won’t be enough. Or twice, or three times. I just …… know that once I have you, I won’t be able to let you go. And I want that, Hannah. I want you for myself only, forever.” He brushed a strand of my hair away from my face. “I can’t guarantee we won’t argue, and I can’t guarantee you won’t be mad at my stubbornness and cockiness every now and then. I know you probably heard this and it meant nothing then, but I promise you with all my heart and soul, I won’t ever hurt you. Not on purpose. And never with my hands.”
To my dismay, my eyes filled with tears again. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying come with me. Please, for all that is holy in this world, don’t go back to him. Come with me.”
I held on to his shoulders and shook my head. “I can’t.”
“You can.” He traced under my eyes with his fingertips, taking away the tears. “We can. I’m already in too deep in quite the scandal. One more won’t damage my career much more than it already has. And Eric deserves to have his career destroyed.”
He was right about that.
“But what about Hilary? I can’t do that to her.”
He thought about it for a moment. “You tell her the truth.”
“I thought about that.” I sighed. “It took all the courage I had to tell you about this, Leo. I can’t seem to find the courage to tell her.”
“You’re not alone in this. I’m here with you and I won’t let go. I’ll help you talk to her. We’ll tell her the truth and that she should stay away from him because he’ll try to take revenge through her.”
I snorted. “She thinks she’s superior and strong. Even if she believes it, she’ll never do anything about it.”
“She’s your sister, Hannah. If I know one thing, it is that family matters. Explain to her the best you can. Prove it to her. She’ll do what you tell her to.”
“Even so … she’ll know the truth, but he’ll come after her. She won’t know how to defend herself.”
“Then she can stay with
us. Our house has eleven bedrooms. Eleven! It’s more than enough for you and her to come spend a few days with us, or until all of this mess is solved.”
“But … what will your parents think of that?”
“My mother loves you, and I’m sure she’ll be glad to take care of Hilary too. My father … well, I don’t care what he thinks right now.”
“I don’t want to go against your father, Leo. I don’t want to be something else he blames for the problems you two have.”
“You won’t. I promise. If you allow me, I’ll tell my parents everything and I’m sure my father will take your side. He’ll think of Bia in the same situation and he’ll see we’re doing the best we can.”
I caressed his neck with my fingertips, and he shivered. “Are you sure?”
He took a deep breath. “Ninety percent sure. But let’s say he doesn’t agree and complicates things? We leave. Hilary, you, and me. We leave and go to a hotel, an apartment, whatever.” He cupped my face. “The important thing now is for you to come with me.”
I couldn’t deny that his plan looked plausible, much more than the other times I considered warning Hilary. I guess that when thinking about a similar solution before, I was alone. I felt alone. And weak. This time, I had Leo with me, pushing me, supporting me. I didn’t need him to be Prince Charming, but I needed his encouragement to save myself. To save Hilary and me.
“Okay,” I whispered.
His eyes widened. “For real?”
“Didn’t you ask me to come with you?”
“Yes, but I thought you would say no and I would have to argue about it for another hour.”
I smiled. “Well, I really do want to be with you.” I kissed the corner of his lips.
His hands slid down my arms. “You have no idea how happy that makes me, morena.”
I kissed the other corner of his lips. “If it’s anything like what I’m feeling, I do.”
He hissed and stretched his back, capturing my mouth on his before I could keep teasing him. His lips fit mine perfectly, moving in a slow, sensual rhythm that made me crazy and my head spin. I moaned as his tongue caressed mine. I slid my hand over the bulge in his jeans and Leo jerked, shivering.
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