by Emily Claire
I hope for your sake that Miss Miller found you a gentleman just like Matthew. Although very handsome, in a snooty sort of way, he has no apparent interest in me whatsoever. What a relief. Our steamship to Sitka leaves in the morning. I will write again once I’m settled, but in the meantime, please continue to send correspondence to my mother.
I miss all of my roommates so very much, but I’m also terribly excited about this amazing adventure!
With Love, Poppy
Gabrielle was thrilled to hear from one of her roommates. She missed them all, though she and Poppy were most alike. Neither wanted to marry. And here was Poppy preparing to move to Alaska. Gabrielle couldn’t believe it. She read it again before a maid appeared and placed a tray down on a small table.
“May I call you Gabrielle?” said Miss Miller as she came into the room.
“Yes, and thank you for the tea, Miss Miller. And for the letter. It’s so good to hear from Poppy.” Gabrielle took the proffered cup gratefully.
“You’re quite welcome. I’m happy it came in time for you to receive it. Now then. Please, call me Elizabeth. You needn’t be as nervous as I can clearly see that you are. Gabrielle, you’ve made no commitment yet and can still change your mind. Now, what questions do you have for me?”
“Is it that obvious?” Gabrielle laughed nervously.
“Nearly every woman who has ever come to me for help has felt just about the way you do right now. It would be strange if you didn’t have some reservation.”
The kind look in Elizabeth’s eyes, and the tone of her voice had a calm and soothing effect. Gabrielle immediately relaxed and decided to enjoy her tea. She was in control of her life. She could still change her mind, couldn’t she?
“Well, I do have a question. What if I get there and can’t go through with it?”
“What is it that you want, Gabrielle? I mean, from Mr. Dillingham. What are your expectations? You must be sure, right now, of your reasons for going, or you’ll change your mind before you get there.” Elizabeth reached for a file on her desk and found the one with Gabrielle’s name on it. She opened it and waited for Gabrielle to answer the question.
“I don’t want to have to worry where my next meal is coming from. I want someone whom I can count on to protect me if needed and who’ll keep a roof over my head so I don’t have to wonder where I’ll be sleeping that night or a month down the road. I want to work for my keep and have nothing private expected of me in return. If I can have a mate who becomes my good friend, I’ll take that as a bonus. I just want a civil partnership with a trustworthy person.”
Elizabeth looked into Gabrielle’s tired eyes. There was pain there, although the woman had not shared much with her about her past. She knew that Gabrielle was alone in the world and had come to her by way of Roberta McDaniel following the textile factory disaster.
“Well, I can see that you’re determined. You read Mr. Dillingham’s letter and have decided you want to go, or you wouldn’t be sitting here now. Is there something that is making you second-guess your choice?”
Gabrielle was silent. If she told Elizabeth of her fears, would she stop her from going to Texas? The woman certainly had the power to stop her simply by not giving her the train ticket and the information on Boone Dillingham. She chose to be honest.
“I still want to go, but I’m afraid. My mother was married to my step-father for many years. He provided for her in terms of a place to stay and such, but he wasn’t as good a man as he wanted the world to think he was. Mother stayed with him because she’d taken a vow. I guess I’d do the same. If I make a vow, then I’ll be committed.” Gabrielle paused and waited to see if Elizabeth would give any response.
“Are you saying that you would stay married to a man no matter what?”
Gabrielle was cautious with her answer. “I think I feel that way. In theory, anyway. But—” she hesitated.
Elizabeth waited until Gabrielle looked at her again. When they had eye contact, she finally spoke with clear intention. “My dear, no woman should ever stay with a man who would physically harm her. Staying married, or not, is an issue of no concern if a man beats his wife. That can be dealt with later. In the unlikely instance that were to happen, you get away. There’ll be enough money for your ticket and travel expenses if you go. You just make sure you keep enough to telegram for help if you need it, and I’ll make the arrangements. All right?”
Gabrielle nodded. Tears threatened to make their way to the surface, but she wouldn’t allow them. She was not one to cry easily.
“Furthermore, you are going to a place where there are good people. I have personal friends in Coltonville whom you can count on for anything you might possibly need. Clyde and Mattie Williamson have been like family to me for many years. My mother and Mattie’s mother were close friends, and I took care of her mother before she passed. They are precious people.” Elizabeth slid a piece of paper across her desk to within Gabrielle’s reach. “Here are their names and address. You can trust them completely. Does that help?”
Gabrielle exhaled. She felt like she’d been holding her breath forever. "Yes, this helps. Thank you.”
“I knew it would. Now, on to the next big thing and please pardon my frankness, but I must ask. I’m sorry, but there’s really no way to be delicate here. Are you prepared to live a life of celibacy?”
Gabrielle laughed out loud and then quickly covered her mouth. “I’m so sorry. I thought you were going to ask me something hard!”
Elizabeth looked at Gabrielle with raised eyebrows, clearly questioning her response.
“I’ve remained pure. I have no desire to be otherwise. To tell you the truth, when I read Mr. Dillingham’s letter I felt as though I’d been given a gift. I have no need of romance or physical affection. My mother married a man who had charmed and delighted her when they first met. He turned out to be something other than the image he portrayed in their early marriage. Nothing could please me more than finding a man who will understand my desire for… well, let’s call it a desire for peaceful companionship, with a clearly marked boundary for appropriate physical distance.”
Elizabeth shook her head and shrugged. “I’ve been a matchmaker for many years and have seen many ladies come and go. I don’t think I’ve ever matched a pair who both so clearly express a desire against physical intimacy. It makes me wonder what your outcome will be. I do hope you’ll stay in touch!”
The women spent another half hour chatting and discussing arrangements before Elizabeth accompanied her to the train station to purchase a ticket to Dallas, Texas. “Do you want to leave tomorrow, or would you prefer to wait another day?”
“Tomorrow is fine. I’d leave today, if it were possible.”
“When you arrive in Dallas, you’ll need to make arrangements to ride the stagecoach into Wiggieville. There’ll be one going out that same afternoon.” Elizabeth tried to remember anything else she should tell Gabrielle. “You’ll have an overnight rest in the city of Topeka, Kansas. The Brody Hotel is a good place to get off the train and enjoy solid ground for a night. It’ll give you a chance to freshen up. You’ll be more than ready for it by then.”
Elizabeth gave Gabrielle the ticket, as well as money for her trip. She offered to meet her early the next morning and walk with her to the train station, but Gabrielle declined. Most young ladies were nervous or fearful the day before their travel, but not this one. Gabrielle seemed to have worked her way through whatever misgivings she had and was ready to meet her destiny head on.
“Any last-minute questions?” Elizabeth smiled warmly at her newest mail-order bride when she shook her head. “I guess that’s it, then. You’re all set to go. I wish you all the best.”
Elizabeth started to lean in for a quick hug, but gently clasped the hand Gabrielle offered instead.
“Goodbye, Elizabeth. Thank you for everything. I’ll be in touch.”
Gabrielle turned and walked away. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, raising her ch
in just the slightest bit, exuding a sense of confidence that she didn’t quite feel.
*******
Standing outside of the church building, Gabrielle waited for some kind of signal. She thought she’d hear someone tell her it was time to meet her groom. But she waited and waited, and nothing happened. She peered inside, shocked to see that the church was not anything like she’d expected. There were bolts of cloth leaning against the walls, from the back of the room all the way to the front. Her groom waited, but she couldn’t see his face. It was covered in a shadow of some sort.
Suddenly she heard her name being called. “Gabrielle! Come now or you’ll be too late.” Panicking, she flung open the door to hurry inside. She couldn’t disappoint her groom on their first meeting! She heard a tearing noise and felt a tugging at her waist. Looking down, she realized her dress was unraveling. It had gotten caught on a nail in the doorway, and the seam on the waist was at this very moment ripping apart.
“Come to me, woman.” Her groom’s voice sounded loud, even though he was far away.
“But my dress,” Gabrielle called out. “It’s tearing.” Tears ran down her face.
“Come anyway, friend. I don’t care what you look like. I have some trousers you can wear if need be.”
“No! That’s not right. I have to look my best. Please, just wait a moment longer,” she pleaded.
Gabrielle sat straight up in the bed. Her hands throwing off the blankets, she scrambled to feel the cloth at her waist. Where was the seam? She frantically felt for the ripped material only to discover that her nightgown was bunched up and twisted around her middle.
It took her a moment to get her bearings. She was in the room of a conservative boardinghouse. There was no wedding ceremony. She climbed out of bed, great relief sweeping over her as she realized it had only been a dream. She rubbed her cheeks with the palms of her hands, trying to shake the nightmare. It was only a dream about a torn wedding dress. She wasn’t leaving for Texas until tomorrow morning.
Her eyes flew wide open wide, and she gasped. “I don’t have a wedding dress!”
There would be no more sleep on this night. Although her bags were packed and ready to go, she carefully went through them. She’d made all of her own dresses, and had accumulated several over the years. Scrutinizing them one by one, she sorted them into two piles, one containing rejects and the other with dresses she deemed worthy of wearing for her own ceremony. Would any of them suit?
She sat down on the bed between the two piles. How would it work? When she stepped off the stagecoach in Wiggieville, would her groom be waiting to take her to be married right away? Would she even have time to change into a wedding dress? She tried to imagine what it might be like. Would there be dangerous Indians lurking about? She’d read stories of the world out West. How safe was it? She was going on the adventure of a lifetime. She sighed, feeling a bit afraid, but felt herself becoming excited. Her life was about to change drastically! She was moving to Texas and she would embrace all things Western. She couldn’t wait.
Hurriedly, she chose the dress she would wear for her groom on their first day together as husband and wife. Boone Dillingham, I hope you like it. I never planned on being a wife, but I guess I’m about to be one.
She stood with her hands on her hips and looked around the tiny room in the boarding house she’d found. She was ready to go. Realizing she still had over an hour before she needed to leave for the train station, she sat down at the tiny desk in the corner of the room. She had enough time to compose letters to Poppy, Roberta and Sarah. She needed to let her former roommates know where she was going.
CHAPTER FOUR
Boone stepped inside and removed his coat. He went over to the stove and scrambled a couple of eggs for dinner. As he sat down to eat, he surveyed the kitchen. It was messy. Over the years he’d collected a bit of clutter. There was the pile of horseshoes stacked in one corner. He’d always intended to do something with them but never got around to it. Various baskets were filled with what a woman might consider to be junk. There was the bucket of spurs he’d saved over the years. He and Buck had a collection of knives that seemed to multiply on their own. He remembered the cans of rocks stacked in the corner of the parlor. Those would probably have to go outside.
He was proud of the bookcase his son had built years ago but hadn’t noticed how much had collected on the dusty shelves. Amongst the hodgepodge of cups, bowls, plates, and mugs, there were several books and a few hand tools.
He finished eating and made his way through his home. He’d always thought of it as large, and it was, compared to the cabin he’d lived in when he was first married. That cabin outside of Topeka really had been small, but it was all that he and Amanda had needed. She’d given birth to Buck, their only son, in it, and they’d lived there until she’d fallen off the horse that caused her death.
As he thought about the woman, a complete stranger, who was coming to live with him, it crossed his mind that she might not think his home was much to look at. After all, she was a city girl. Would she expect a fancy house? In the letter he’d told her it was a large house. He stood now, slowly walking around, wondering if maybe his choice of words might have given off the wrong impression.
He was thankful they’d added indoor plumbing years ago. The little room had more than a toilet; thank goodness for that. On a whim, he’d decided a bathtub would be nice to have, so he’d purchased one. Buck had enjoyed playing in it when they’d first installed it, when it was still a novelty. Boone shook his head at the memory of Buck when he was around thirteen years old. Getting him to bathe back then had been just shy of a miracle.
Buck had done quite a bit of growing up since that time. Boone walked into his son’s bedroom. It still didn’t look right to him. It wasn’t just that Buck had moved out. It was fairly clean. There weren’t piles of dirty clothing and random instruments strewn about anymore. No guitar, no banjo, no harmonica. It was too neat to be Buck’s room. At least the old quilt on the bed remained, as well as some odds and ends that had long since lost their appeal for a young man. When she came to live in his home, the woman could take over this room and give it some feminine touches. It should do just fine for her.
Boone took a few steps down the hall toward the back of the house and turned into his own room. It was much larger than Buck’s. A little messier now, too. He tried to see what the woman, his wife, would see. At the thought of the word “wife,” Boone sat on the bed, then slowly laid down on his back and stared at the ceiling.
Amanda, dear. I’m sorry. You know I’ll never stop loving you or missing you. It’s just that I’m lonely, and it’s too quiet around here with Buck grown and gone. I thought I’d be able to live out the rest of my life without ever remarrying, but I just can’t do it. Forgive me, darling. I promise she’ll never take your place. I hope she’ll be a partner and maybe even a friend, but she’ll never replace you. You still occupy the part of my heart that was capable of true love.
He walked back to Buck’s room. The woman would likely own more clothing than he. More things for sure. Girls had perfume and hairbrushes and stuff like that. She’d probably need more space than he did. Impulsively, he decided he’d take Buck’s room and give her the larger one and hurried to begin moving his clothes. He wouldn’t worry about fancying it up. She could do all that once she settled in and decided what she’d need and would want to make herself feel comfortable.
He’d leave some of his collections exactly where they were, though. After all, she might appreciate having some of them. The glass jars on the shelf would probably appeal to a woman.
When he finished all he could think to do, he was pleased with himself. He’d be leaving first thing Monday morning to fetch her from Wiggieville and he was ready.
*******
After church service the next morning, Boone remained and helped tidy up as had become his custom over the years.
Clyde’s wife, Mattie, approached him. “So, tomorrow is the big day.
Is that right?”
Boone smiled sheepishly. “Yes, ma’am. Hard to believe, isn’t it?”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come out and give you a hand getting your place ready for her? I really don’t mind.”
“Well, thanks, Mattie. I think I’m ready for her. I’ve made a few changes that I think will do just fine.”
“Just promise you’ll still be coming over for Sunday lunch, okay? We can’t wait to get to know your new wife!”
“I’ll be—, I mean we’ll be sure to. Now, what else needs to be done around here?” Boone was anxious to change the subject. Using the word “we” felt wrong, and he didn’t want to dwell on it.
Mattie glanced around. “Would you mind giving Clyde and the boys a hand? They’ve got a very large desk to move outside. It’s on its last leg and will be replaced tomorrow. I think they could use another set of hands.”
“Sure, Mattie. I’d be happy to.” Boone stopped himself as he started to walk away. “One question, though.”
She raised her eyebrows, wondering what he might ask.
Boone laughed. “Will those grown sons-in-law of yours ever become men? I’m amused that you still call them boys!”
“Oh, get on with you, Boone! I know Buck has moved away, but I bet you’ll still refer to him as a boy for a long time to come. We never stop being parents, you know. Now quit teasing me!” She swatted at his shoulder with her hand.
Boone quickly jumped back to playfully dodge her hand, forgetting there was a bench just behind him. He lost his balance and fell backward, slamming his head on the hard wooden floor beneath him. His world went black.
CHAPTER FIVE
Gabrielle watched the scenery just outside the window of the stagecoach. She was enamored with the wide-open spaces. Even though it was December, there was still so much green in every direction. The small rolling hills were beautiful and almost succeeded in calming her nerves. Trees and shrubs were in abundance. The skies in Texas were much bluer than back in Massachusetts! She gazed at the various cloud formations. The huge, puffy clouds were like pure white piles of cotton floating above her. The majesty of it filled her senses. She couldn’t look away. The exhaustion she’d felt after two weeks on the train seemed to melt away.