“Axel, what the fuck is his problem? He seriously is scaring the shit out of me right now. He looks like hell and every time I ask him what is going on, the prick ignores me.”
Without telling everything, I just tell her that Samantha left.
“What do you mean Rice Cake left? Where is she?” Before I could respond Paul, Allen and Jay all make their way to the front as well.
Paul stands next to Carrie and asks, “Where is who?”
Carrie turns to the pricks and announces, “Sam is gone.”
Allen looks at Camaron who hasn’t moved, he hasn’t stopped looking at his damn phone. “What the fuck? Where is Sam, Camaron? What the fuck happened?”
Camaron looks up at all of us and yells, “I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK SHE IS! I fucked up guys, alright. I am a fuck up, this shouldn't surprise you.”
Carrie is quick on her feet and she is in front of his face within seconds, not even Paul could grab her.
“Listen here, asshole, whatever you did, you need to fix it. You need to fix it now!”
Camaron honestly looks defeated. He just stands there with Carries finger in his face and does nothing. “I have called and left voicemails, her inbox is full so I have been texting her and I have heard nothing. She isn't responding. I am honestly worried; I am so fucking worried, I can’t function.”
Carrie just stomps away and keeps telling him to fix it. I spoke to Samantha early this morning and I tried this afternoon; but, like Camaron said, the voicemail is full and there is no answer so I bust through my appointments to leave a bit early just so that I can go and check on her.
It’s a little after five when I walk in Ma's door and smell Ma's lasagna. “Hello . . . where are you?” I walk in the kitchen and see that the oven timer has 20 minutes left. I walk toward the backdoor and see Ma and Samantha in the garden. I stand at the door and take in the site; damn, that girl honestly is gorgeous. Ma has Samantha in a gardening hat—the kind that has such a big bill that it covers your entire face, protecting it from the sun. She is on her knees, has gardening gloves, and is tending to the vegetables. I walk out onto the deck and make my way to the garden.
“Hello . . . here you beautiful women are.”
I see Ma look up at me as she is tending to her rose bushes on the other side of the garden.
“Well, hello there, my boy; I didn't know you were coming to visit. I have lasagna in the oven, you must stay for dinner.” Ma heads over, holding her basket on her arm with a few roses that she cut off.
“Of course I will, I would never pass up your lasagna.” I lean down and give her a kiss on the cheek.
“Okay, let me go and get these flowers in some water and get the table set. Dinner will be ready soon.” Ma walks into the house and I turn and see Samantha sitting back on her heels and looking at me. She has dirt on her face and she truly looks adorable.
“Hey, gardening looks good on you.”
Samantha actually laughs as she tries to wipe her head with her arm and she just smears the dirt around. “Yeah, it’s another lesson, but I enjoy this. I never gardened before, it really is relaxing, ya know?”
“Sure . . . I didn't have the gardening lesson, I wouldn't know.” I start to laugh as she looks perturbed. “You didn't? What lessons did you go through?”
I help her stand and she starts to brush off the dirt and walks with me to the chairs under the tree. “Well, Ma wasn’t the one teaching me, I had Pop. He was a marine, so his lessons were a bit harder, not that gardening isn't hard.” I laugh at the evil eye she is giving me, she really doesn't mean it she is just playing.
“Gardening is not easy, Mister! It takes great time and care.”
I raise my hands up in surrender. “Okay . . . okay . . . I am just saying Pop had me up at 5:15 every morning. He had me building decks, and removing tree stumps from this yard. I had to rebuild an engine for his Camaro, yeah, the one I have now.”
“Why did you need the lessons?”
I laugh and shake my head at her. “I was a dumb kid. My mom was never around. I hung out here all the time, but when I turned 15, I thought I was an adult and I could start having some fun. With no mother watching me, I had free reign. Well, I got into some trouble with a group of kids.”
She looks at me with a puzzling look. “What happened?”
“I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I stopped coming here and started partying hard. I started drinking and one night the party that I was at was busted. I was arrested, charged with underage drinking, and possession of illegal substance. When I was given my one call, I called my mother and she hung up on me. She told me she had a party she needed to get to and had no time to come down and bail me out. I spent another 24 hours in the cell before I was bailed out. I guess Pop saw my mother heading out and she mentioned that I was in jail. Pop immediately came and bailed me out and then he came to court with me. I was facing time in juvie, but Pop stood up and talked to the judge. He told her that juvie wouldn't make me into the man he knew I could become. He asked the judge for leniency and gave her his word that he would handle me and that he did. I can laugh now, looking back at it, but standing there in front of the judge I was scared shitless. The judge approved his request, but I had to attend an outpatient rehab as well. That is the day I had to pack up my room and move into Ma and Pops.”
“Your mom didn't care that you were moving into your neighbor’s home?”
“Hell no, I think she was relieved, actually. Ma was at the house packing my stuff when Pop and I were at the hearing. When I got back, I walked in the house and she was getting ready for another party. I remember trying to talk to her about it and she just patted my shoulder and said, ‘good luck, Axel.’ She told me that she signed over her parental rights to Ma and Pop and that they were now my legal guardians and that she needed to go as she had a party to get to,” I snicker, even though reliving that memory kills me every time.
“So, I moved in with Ma and Pop and three months later my mom sold the house and moved out west. I wanted to drown my sorrows with alcohol but Ma and Pop wouldn't let me. Pop went into Marine mode and taught be that I was stronger than I thought. He made me into a ‘man.’ Seriously, it was a hard summer, but the best memories I have of him. It’s actually the summer I found my passion in art. The great part was they were so encouraging. They helped bring my dream to life.” I look up and see Samantha staring up at me with admiration in her eyes.
“That’s awesome that you had that bond with them like that. You truly became their son, I can feel the love and admiration you all have for one another.”
“What can I say, they are the best.”
I watched her smile and look out at the garden. We sat there for a few more minutes comfortable in the silence.
“Axel, I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for you beautiful?”
“I’m sorry that I just left; that I’m not strong enough to face what happened and that I left you all at the shop without notice.”
“No worries, beautiful, I get it. It's not about us at the shop. You handle what you have to handle. Just know, Samantha, we are here for you. I am here for you.”
I can see something going on in her head, but before I can ask what she is thinking, Ma is yelling at us from the deck; “Okay kids, dinner is ready get your tushes in here and eats some delicious food.”
After cleaning up breakfast, I had to run and get changed so that Ellie and I could start our morning walk. Yep, a morning walk at seven; I tried to tell her I was going to check flight times, but yeah that wasn't going to happen.
“We have lots to do,” she keeps saying. I rummage through my suitcase and grab a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. I rush to the bathroom and get finished up as I hear Ellie yelling down the hall at me. “Come on, doll face, we have to move it.” I rush to finish and run down the stairs to a waiting Ellie wearing her a hot pink jump suit with a fanny pack and holding two bottles of water.
Ellie hands me the keys to he
r Cadillac Deville and we get in.
“Okay, doll face, let’s get this party started.”
I start up the car and get directions to the local park where we will be meeting her walking buddies. The radio is blasting as I back out of the driveway; instead of Naughty by Nature, she has Snoop Dog blaring through the speakers. This woman honestly is the coolest 84 year old woman I know. With a smile, I drive to our meeting point.
We arrive and it’s packed. Ellie wasn't joking when she said that she had a huge group of walking buddies. There must be at least 25 to 30 people, all older, who are standing around and waiting. Ellie grabs her bottle of water and takes two Advil that she has in her glove compartment for her headache. She then gets out of the car and heads down to the group.
“Hi everyone, sorry I am late, my baby girl here was taking her time getting ready. Everyone this is Sam, Sam this is everyone.”
In unison, I hear the group of elderly say, “Hi Sam.” It was honestly the cutest thing I have ever seen and heard.
“Hi everyone, sorry I made Ellie late.”
I am shocked that all of these people were waiting around for Ellie. She walks around and talks to everyone there. She honestly knows everyone and what is happening in their lives. She is wishing people well and asking how their children are; she truly is a blessing to all of these people, a real friend. After she has spoken to all of her buddies, we are on our way. We all head down to the track and we are off. Ellie actually takes us out of the group and we are walking the track ourselves.
“Lesson number two is complete, baby girl. You need to take time for yourself, get out of the house, and get your body moving. The more you move, the more energy you will have and the more confidence you will have in yourself. Walking every morning gives me a fresh start. It gives me time to think about all the stuff that is weighing on my mind, while walking and looking around reminds me of the blessings that I have. I look at the trees, listen to the bird’s chirp, hell I am thankful that I am able to use the two legs that GOD has blessed me with. So, lesson two, my dear, is complete.” I smile and realize that she is right once again. She seems to always be right. I need to start taking care of myself, because no one else is going to do it.
After our five-mile walk, we head back to the house. I walk up to the room I am staying in to grab some clothes to change into after my shower when I hear a faint knock on the door. Opening it, I see Ellie standing there holding an old typewriter.
“Okay, well here you go, baby girl.” She walks past me and places the typewriter on the desk. “This was Tony's and now it’s yours. I know it’s not one of those fancy computers like all the kids have, but it definitely will help put your story on paper. There is some paper in the drawer and if we need more we can pick it up on our way from the store.” I don't know what to say, so I bend down and grab her.
“Thank you, Ellie, I really appreciate it. I would be honored to use it; I just don’t have anything to write.”
“Oh, my dear, didn't something just happen to you? Something that you haven't opened up to me about. Well, until you feel like you want to discuss the issue, you need to get it out and what better way to do that than through your words. Write it down, let your soul start to heal.”
With tears in my eyes all I can say is, “Thank you.”
Ellie pats my hand. “Create wonderful stories, baby, pour your soul into it and I can guarantee that you will have all the success in the world. I will give you some time, we have lunch at 11:30; I will make sure to come and get you.”
“Thank you again, Ellie.”
Ellie shuts the door and I stand there staring at this gorgeous antique typewriter. I slowly run my fingers across the keys and close my eyes at the feel of them. A faint beeping sound takes me out of my thoughts when I realize it’s my phone. I open my suitcase and find it stuffed into the pocket, along with the charger. The phone is about to die so I grab it and plug it into the charger. 35 missed calls, 30 voicemails along with 10 text messages and one email alert. Wow, before I even look to see who has been blowing up my phone, I open my email and I see that I just received a reply from Gabby. I take a deep breath, open it up, and burst into tears when I read it.
Sam,
It's about freaking time I heard from you <3 <3 You have no reason to apologize, I get it, I really do. I am sorry that I said what I said to you too. Either way, chica, you are my best friend, so no worries, you hear me? What is going on with you? What happened between you and Camaron? Whatever it is everything will work out. Remember, you are his “anchor” (yeah I so said that in my snarky voice like usual Lol) Just know that you are NOT alone. I am always a phone call away. Please message or call me, I am a little worried.
Love you,
Gabby
I am so happy that everything is fine between us. I don't think I would have been able to accept another friendship that I destroyed. I type her a quick reply explaining that right now I am staying with another friend, where I am trying to figure myself out. I tell her what happened with Camaron and me and how we slept together and I thought that it would have been more to him and that he said “I love you, Roni,” rather than Sam. I found that while I was typing I wasn't crying as hard as I thought I would be. I told her I would see her soon. After hitting send on the email, I open up the phone log. All the missed calls were from Camaron, except for two, which were from Carrie and Paul. The text messages were also from Camaron, Paul and actually Allen. I open up Allen’s message and it reads:
Rice Cake dont know whats happened but I do know that you need to get ur ass back here ;)
if u need me just call
Paul’s read:
Hey RC, Carrie is falling apart here, please message us to let us no u are ok. Sam we are here for you~Paul
I skim through the other messages from Camaron, they are pretty simple just please call me, where are u? I am so sorry. There was one that caught my eye, it was really long so I stopped and read it.
Sam—I have called and filled your voicemail. I wanted to talk to you—really talk to you not type this, but I need you to know. Sam, I am so fucking sorry that I fucked us up. I am sick knowing that I have hurt you. I fucked up and lost my best friend, the one person who has always been there for me. I am numb knowing that I have caused you so much hurt; even when Axel kicked the shit out of me, for what I have done, that pain doesn’t compare to what I am feeling knowing that I have let you down, that I have disappointed you, that I lost you. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. I was selfish and didn't realize what I was doing. I am a horrible fucking friend and I completely understand why you don't want to talk to me. I do—I get it; I was a selfish bastard that has always expected that you would be always be there for me. I never looked at your feelings and I am so sorry. I was taking everything from you; I don't think I ever gave anything. You have been my rock and my anchor and I have been the storm that has caused all of your damage and I am so fucking sorry, Sam; I never wanted that, really. In your letter you mentioned that you weren’t good enough for me; but, Sam, you are so fucking wrong. I am NOT good enough for you. You are a beautiful soul that I was lucky enough to have you as my best friend. Please call, Sam, I need to know that you are okay. I am going out of my mind sitting here. I don't know where to look; please, please, just let me know you are safe. Please call or message me ~Cam
Tears are streaming down my face. I don't know how to respond, I don't know what to say. I close the phone and head down to the kitchen to help Ellie with lunch and dinner.
After our light lunch, Ellie shared her lasagna recipe with me. We put it in the oven and we are off again; I honestly love the fact that Ellie has some much energy.
We head out back and she hands me a hat with a huge bill and a pair of gloves.
“Here, baby girl, you are going to need these.”
“What are we going to do?”
“Well, we are going to weed, it’s important that we weed out the things that cause a hindering to our growth. Have
you ever weeded before doll?”
“No, I have never had a garden or flower beds. Just point me in the direction and tell me what to pick and I will.”
Ellie smiles up at me and guides me into her gorgeous garden. Really, she has everything from broccoli, corn, and radishes and even beautiful rose bushes on the other side. She truly has a green thumb, as everything is flourishing. She shows me where to start and what I need to start picking. Some of the weeds look like flowers.
“Are you sure that I should pick these? They look like pretty little flowers.”
“Oh, doll face, don't let that fool you. Just because it looks pretty doesn't mean that it won’t suck the life out of you. If you don't pull that weed, then the growth of my vegetables will suffer.”
“Okay, got it,” I say as I start pulling the weeds out of the ground.
“Good, lesson number three is complete.” She is smiling and smelling her roses and snipping a few to put in her basket.
“Ellie? How many lessons are there?”
“Oh, doll face, there will be as many as needed. I am an old woman, I have plenty of knowledge to share.” I start laughing and keep on weeding. I hear Ellie lightly humming and I start to share with her. She stops, walks towards me, and just listens. She listens to everything. I skip over the details of Cam and I being intimate, she knows that we were together and that he couldn't look me in the eye. I also told her that I knew I disgusted him; I didn't tell her how I knew and she didn’t ask. She just sat there and listened. Telling her everything felt like a huge burden lifting from my shoulders. I cried, but this time I didn't sob.
“Before I came down stairs, I read a text he sent. He said that he is sorry for what he did and that I am his anchor. I really thought, Ellie, being the one person that was a constant in his life that I was the most important person to him. I guess I was wrong.”
“Well, doll face, you have to understand something. You know what an anchor is right?”
Guided Love (Prick #1) Page 18