The sound of Miranda’s voice worked like a salve on Holly’s frayed nerves. “Lewis is your second husband?”
“Fourth,” Miranda said without a hint of shame. “I haven’t had the best luck with men, but Lewis, he’s a keeper.”
Holly had thought the same about Jason, but now she wasn’t so sure. “Why didn’t he tell me?” she said, and Miranda didn’t have to ask whom she meant.
“Jason is a modest man. He doesn’t like to flaunt his wealth. He’s the least pretentious wealthy person that I’ve ever met. He appreciates the simple things in life. He just enjoys them in places like Aspen and Cabo San Lucas. He has homes all over the world.”
All over the world?
“And he keeps his philanthropy very private.”
Of course a man like him would be philanthropic. “I really had no idea.”
“He was probably worried you would feel intimidated or uncomfortable. He likes to be treated like a regular guy.”
But he was not a regular guy.
“He’s a financial genius, you know. A bona fide prodigy. People say that everything he touches turns to gold.”
“Did you meet him before or after his transplant?”
“I met him about ten months before. He and Lewis have been friends for years. He was in pretty bad shape back then. He spent most of the last year before the surgery laid up. But that didn’t stop him from building his fortune. He worked from his home office and later from his bed. He refused to give up. We were so afraid we’d lose him, then just like that they found a match. But it was hard on him knowing that a sixteen-year-old had to die to save his life. There was a lot of guilt at first.” She paused and said, “I’m sorry. Here I am shooting off my big mouth.”
“I don’t mind.” She had learned more about Jason in the past five minutes than she had in the past nine days.
Was that all it had been? In some ways she felt as if she had known him forever, and in other ways she barely knew him at all.
“He was so weak and frail, you would barely recognize him. In fact...” Miranda reached into her purse and pulled out her phone. She scrolled through her photos until she found the one she was looking for, then handed it to Holly. “This was about a month before the surgery.”
Holly took the phone and sucked in a quiet breath when she saw the photo. Miranda was right. It hardly looked like Jason, and the idea that he’d been that ill made her feel sick inside. He was thin and gaunt and, sitting next to Lewis in the photo, his skin looked pasty and gray. The only thing that hadn’t changed was his eyes. They were full of life. And hope. He had come a long way since then.
She handed the phone back to Miranda, a painful knot in the center of her chest. As his new heart began to wear out, would he look like that again? Would she have to watch him waste away knowing there wasn’t a thing she could do about it? And what if her boys had inherited the gene? What if they got sick, too?
Suddenly Holly was the one with tears welling in her eyes.
“Oh, honey.” Miranda reached across the table and put her hand over Holly’s. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Holly sniffled and dabbed at her eyes with a napkin. “It was just a shock to see him like that.”
Miranda gave her hand a squeeze and said quietly, “Does he know that you’re in love with him?”
She didn’t bother trying to deny it. To Miranda or herself. The past few days, since that amazing kiss, had been absolute torture. She craved his presence, his touch. She loved listening to his voice, hearing him laugh. He was intelligent and funny, and even a little goofy at times when he played with the boys, who also adored him. Even if he had been penniless, he’d be everything she could ever want in a man. “He knows there are strong feelings, but I’ve never said the words.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, it’s fairly obvious the feeling is mutual.”
Actually, that made her feel worse.
“If I’m being too nosy I apologize, but I just have to ask...” She leaned in close and lowered her voice. “Have you two...you know...?”
“We kissed, but then we agreed that we should keep our relationship platonic.”
Miranda sat back in surprise. “Now why would you go and do that? It’s obvious you two are crazy for each other. I could see it when you walked down the stairs together. And all through dinner he couldn’t keep his eyes off you.”
Holly heard herself using Jason’s stock answer. “It’s complicated.” Which was no answer at all.
“How long has it been since you knocked boots with anyone?”
Holly couldn’t help but smile at the euphemism. Far too long. “Seven months, two weeks, four days—” she checked the time on her phone “—six hours and...thirty-two minutes. Give or take a minute or two. Coincidentally, I figured that out last night.” While she was lying in bed, aroused and restless, knowing Jason was a floor above her. But he might as well have been a million miles away.
Miranda clucked. “Oh, honey, that’s a long time.”
“I went into premature labor in my fifth month, so I couldn’t have sex. And after the boys were born, there just wasn’t time.” Not to mention that Jeremy had shown no interest in her sexually. Half the time he had been too wrapped up in his own contorted emotions to realize she and the twins were even there. And when he had noticed he had been so full of resentment, especially near the end. She hadn’t told Jason the whole story. Hadn’t admitted how bitter and cruel Jeremy could be. It had been like living with two different people. One who was sweet and compassionate, the other spiteful and mean. Even if he had wanted to have sex, the idea of him touching her had been almost repulsive at times.
She knew now that it was the drugs, but she didn’t want to burden Jason with the truth. She wanted him to remember his brother fondly or as fondly as he could under the circumstances.
“If Lewis and I go more than a week I get cranky,” Miranda said.
“To be honest, up until recently, I really hadn’t given it much thought.”
“And now?”
Now it was all she could think about. And her face must have said it all.
“Might that have something to do with the fact that you’re stuck living in the same house with a man you’re wildly attracted to and who clearly wants to jump your bones.”
Yeah, that might explain it. “Like I said, it’s complicated.”
“Say no more. I know when I’m sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.”
The men returned to the table a second later and the conversation turned to a subject a little less scandalous. Holly put on a good face and pretended that everything was normal, when honestly she didn’t even know what was normal anymore. And the longer she sat there, the angrier she felt. A lie by omission was still a lie.
When they got back to the house around eleven, Miranda gave her a big goodbye hug, and then joined Lewis to head home in a black SUV that looked just like Jason’s. But not before Miranda promised to call and make plans to have lunch in town and go shopping. She knew so few people back in the city it was nice to know that here she would have friends.
Faye was in the family room, stretched out on the sectional watching a rerun of The X-Files.
“How were the boys?” Holly asked her.
“Devon was a little fussy, but he finally went to sleep.”
Devon had never gotten the croup like his brother. Instead he wound up with a mild case of the sniffles. “Thank you for watching them.”
Faye smiled and stood up, stretching her arms way over her head. “You know I don’t mind. Did you have a good time?”
Yes and no. “Miranda is really nice.”
“Well, I’m off to bed,” Faye said. “You know where I am if you need me.”
“I should go check on the boys,” Holly told Jason after Fa
ye was gone. They needed to talk, but she hadn’t figured out exactly what she was going to say. Odds were good that it would be snarky.
“Do you need help?” Jason asked.
She could tell by his expression that he wanted to help. But now that she was over being shocked and confused, she was just plain mad. “I’m just going to peek in and then go to bed.”
Without waiting for a response she headed up the stairs to the boys’ room. They were both sound asleep in their cribs, and though the urge to lift them out and give them a kiss and a snuggle was strong, she really didn’t want to wake them.
She backed quietly out of their room, turned and plowed right into Jason, who apparently had followed her up. It was like walking into a steel wall and the momentum knocked her back a step. Jason caught her arms to keep her from falling against the door.
“Sorry,” she said, quickly composing herself. “I didn’t know you were behind me.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I’m getting a vibe.”
“I’m tired. Maybe that’s it.” She walked to her bedroom and he followed her.
He didn’t look as if he believed her. “Can we talk for a minute?”
Probably not such a good idea. “About what?”
“I heard Miranda invite you shopping,” he said, following her into her bedroom uninvited. “I know how you feel about taking money from me, but you and the boys are going to need things. I was thinking that it would be a good idea to give you a monthly allowance. Like I did with Jeremy.”
What the heck was she going to do with ten thousand dollars a month?
“Okay,” she said, and was rewarded with a look of genuine surprise.
“Really?”
“Sure. That would be what? Ten thousand a month? One hundred and twenty thousand a year?”
The bright look began to fade. “In that ballpark, yes.”
“Well, why stop there? How does a million sound? Or what the hell, how about a billon? You could afford that, right?”
He actually winced.
“So it’s true. You are a billionaire?”
Ten
“You’re upset,” Jason said.
Thanks, Captain Obvious. Ya think? “Can you blame me? You might have mentioned it.”
“It didn’t seem that relevant.”
“Not relevant?”
“What I meant was, I was waiting for the right time.”
“When? After the twins finish college?”
In a tone that held more patience than she probably deserved, he said, “You said it yourself our situation is unique, and just like you I’m doing my best to figure it out. I’m not perfect. You’re going to have to cut me a little slack.”
His words sucked the wind right out of her sails, and her head dropped in shame.
He was right. She was being selfish and immature. Maybe he’d been worried that knowing about the money would change things between them. That she would begin to think of him differently. But as he stood in her room, looking just as perplexed and frustrated by this as she was, he was still just Jason. A real man with feelings and not just a number on a bank statement. And she knew, money or no money, that would never change. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m not being fair. I guess I just thought that there would be no more surprises between us.”
He had every right to be angry with her, or at the very least annoyed, but he wasn’t. The man had the patience of a saint. And considering all that he had been through, he’d probably earned it. “We’ll figure this all out. It’ll just take time.”
She knew he was right. “It seems so surreal.”
“Well, you had better get used to it. If something happens to me, the twins will get it all.”
Huh?
No, that couldn’t be right. “But...you said Jeremy was disinherited.”
“By our father. It’s all mine now, and I can do with it what I choose.”
“I—I don’t know what to say. The idea of being responsible for that much money... I would be lost. Overwhelmed. I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
“I would never let that happen. Arrangements have already been made. You’ll have all the financial guidance you’ll need.”
Arrangements had been made, meaning this was not just a possibility. This was her life now. She was the mother of future billionaires. Her life would never be the same. It was so much to take in all at once.
“If it’s any consolation, I don’t actually have a billion dollars. My money is spread all over the place.”
It was a small consolation and good to know that he was thinking ahead. Not that she would have expected anything less than that.
The last of her energy drained, Holly sat down on the edge of the bed. “Miranda said you’re a financial prodigy. And everything you touch turns to gold.”
“She was exaggerating.”
Holly doubted that.
Jason sat down beside her, already such a familiar presence. She knew the smell of him, the sharp angle of his jaw, the way his hair fell across his forehead. And then there was the electrical current that seemed to arc between them even if they were yards away from each other. The same energy that she was feeling right now.
She wished she could lean against him, bury her face in the crook of his neck and breathe him in, feel the brush of beard stubble against her forehead. The dark shadow on his cheeks and chin made him look sexy and dangerous. A guilty pleasure. She wanted to take his face in her palms and press her lips to his, feel his hands on her skin. She wanted to know the sweet pressure of that delicious body settling over her, his weight pressing her to the mattress, thrusting between her thighs. She wanted it so badly it hurt. And it wasn’t fair that she couldn’t have him. It was as if the universe was playing some cruel joke on her. The universe had robbed her of her parents, her security. Had given her two beautiful children who would never know their father. It handed her this wonderful man, and then set him behind an indestructible wall of glass. There was no way over or around it. She was cursed to spend the rest of her life watching him from the other side, so close but just out of reach.
“Are we okay now?” he asked her.
“Yes, we’re okay. I’m sorry I overreacted. And I want you to know how much I appreciate all that you’ve done for me.”
He rose from the bed and she did, too. “Is there anything I do can for you? Anything you need?”
All she really needed was him, but she shook her head. “About the allowance, you do what you think is right. Whatever you decide, I’ll be good with it.”
“Well, then, I should let you get to bed.”
Only if you come with me, she wanted to say, but of course she didn’t.
Jason reached over and cradled her face in his big hands, pressed a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering as if he didn’t want it to end. If he were to kiss her mouth right now she wouldn’t try to stop him. Thankfully neither of them seemed willing to take that first step. But the ache that settled in her chest, the deep longing to be close to him could only mean one thing. Miranda was right, Holly loved him. Not just that, but she was in love with him. Totally and completely. It had just happened, and now she had to figure out a way to make it un-happen.
The words I love you balanced on the tip of her tongue, but she had neither the right nor the courage to let them slip past her lips.
It wasn’t meant to be.
* * *
A week later, Jason lay in bed in his penthouse apartment in New York, flipping through the channels on his ridiculously huge television, bored out of his skull and wishing he were back home with Holly and the boys. He used to enjoy these occasional business trips to the city, but until recently, he really hadn’t had anything to come home to. She and
the twins were so deeply ingrained in his life now. He could hardly remember what it was like when they weren’t there.
He would have brought them along, but not only had he been in meetings from 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. that night, he was supposed to be keeping his distance from Holly. Not that it had been doing any good. After that night out with Lewis and Miranda, something had changed between him and Holly. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was, but things were different. More intense, maybe. All he knew was that it was getting more and more difficult to keep his distance. He’d been thinking things, impossible things, such as what would happen if they stopped fighting it and let their relationship take its natural course. But he already knew the answer. As much as he wanted her, he couldn’t do it to Holly and the boys. It wouldn’t be fair when his life expectancy was so uncertain. He’d seen the look on her face when she’d talked about already burying one husband. It would be cruel to put her through that again.
His phone rang and he scooped it up from the bed beside him, hoping that it was Holly. Since he’d left yesterday morning they had spoken on the phone and texted numerous times. He’d come to see her not just as a woman he could fall in love with, but a good friend. She saw him for who he was, and he actually liked that she was unimpressed by his money. Intimidated even. He had a feeling that if he lost every penny she genuinely wouldn’t care. Most of his life had been about his career and making more money. But now that he had someone to share that money with, and his brother’s sons to carry on the family name, making a mark for himself seemed a little less crucial.
He was disappointed to see that it was Lewis calling him, probably to ask how the meetings went. Normally he would have been there with Jason, but he’d had some sort of appointment with Miranda that he couldn’t miss. According to Holly, she and Miranda had been spending a lot of time together. Miranda had been slowly introducing Holly to the local population and helping her deal with people’s perceptions, or misperceptions, of what she and Jason did behind closed doors. For him, privacy and anonymity were precious commodities in short supply. But he was used to the gossip and speculation.
Demanding His Brother's Heirs Page 10