“Albina…”
He could tell when her mood shifted, changed. Instantly, that wall was right back up between them. “Where did you go today?”
He clenched his jaw. “I had something to take care of.” He knew it was vague and it wasn’t a good enough answer for her, for he saw her visibly retreat even further back into that shell of distrust and uncertainty.
“I see.” She turned her back on him, and it was all he could do to resist the urge to shake her, to make her believe she never had anything to worry about when it came to his devotion to her. But why should she trust him when she didn’t even trust herself enough to know that he had never stopped loving her?
When Helen arrived to assist her mistress, it gave her the perfect opportunity to dismiss him. “I should get out of these wet clothes before I catch a chill.”
“I suppose I should do the same,” he said stoically. “I’m sure you would be distraught if I came down with a fever, and I shouldn’t wish to upset you if that should occur.”
With that, he turned on his heel and left, nearly slamming the door behind him.
***
Albina sat in the tub until the water cooled to the point she would start shivering again if she remained. She reluctantly got out and pulled on the robe that Helen had left for her. She’d dismissed her maid earlier, not wanting to have an audience to witness her tears.
Strangely enough, though, she didn’t shed a single one, although she was sure that they would have fallen the moment the servant left.
Albina didn’t even know why she was so emotional lately, unless it was the fact she hadn’t been back at Beauley Hall for a full week, and yet, her thoughts about Michael were more twisted and confusing than they had been before she’d left London.
She sat near the fire with a sigh, tucking her legs beneath her like when she was younger, and whenever something had been troubling her. It wasn’t as if the pose made her figure things out any easier, but curling her body together made her feel safe, protected.
Of course, she’d never had to worry about security, either in London or at Beauley Hall, because Michael had always given her a generous allowance. And since she never wasted it on extreme frivolities or at the gaming tables, she was able to live quite comfortably at Baine House. While she might attend a ball or two now and again, most of her time was spent writing.
But it was these unsettling musings that made her wonder what Michael did in his spare time. She knew that he looked after his tenants and his estate, but what about the rest of the time? Or like today, when he’d left on a rather secretive errand?
It bothered her to imagine that he did, indeed, have a mistress tucked away somewhere. And since he wasn’t all that forthcoming about where he’d been, it was only natural that she might arrive at the wrong conclusions.
Then, of course, there was that snide comment he’d made on the way out the door, as if he would cause her further problems should he become sick.
She put a hand to her aching head.
Tonight it would probably be best if she just took a dinner tray in her room.
She wasn’t sure she would be good company otherwise.
***
Michael hesitated at Albina’s bedchamber door, his hand poised to knock.
He didn’t like how they’d left things earlier. He’d lashed out because of his anger, the same way she had when she’d seen the conservatory. The last thing he wanted was for them to be at even bigger odds.
He would even tell her the truth about where he’d been today if that would cease this awful disquiet continuing to run between them. It just seemed as if the turmoil was never ending. They were running in the same circles.
How did one repair something when it continued to break apart?
Slowly, he let his hand fall back to his side.
Michael stared at the hard oak separating him from his wife, as if willing her to open it on the other side. Unfortunately, it remained stubbornly closed.
He shoved a hand through his hair. He knew that sometimes the best thing he could do was leave a hornet’s nest alone, rather than kick it and risk getting stung. So, if Albina wanted to talk, he decided it was best to be patient and let her come to him.
It was all he’d done for the past five years.
He’d waited. And prayed. And waited some more.
He was starting to get tired of waiting. He wanted to burst down the door and have it all out in the open, but the only thing that kept him from acting on the impulse was the fear that he would frighten her off to the point where she would be lost to him forever. At least this way, he still held on to that thin thread of hope — the chance — that love could return.
It might continue to tear him up from the inside out, he might rant and rave and curse at the unfairness of it all, to be denied the one true thing he wanted in this life, but if that’s what it took, if he even had to lose his sanity in the process, he would do it.
For her.
Turning on his heel, he clenched his fists and walked away.
CHAPTER SIX
A lady must never whine…
Lady A’s Advice Column
Albina was about to lose her mind, she was so bored.
Ironically enough, she had been the one to get ill from her excursion in the rain, so she’d spent the last few days stuck in bed. She could just imagine how her poor nose appeared considering the amount of handkerchiefs she had gone through.
Albina remembered that when her son Connor would get a sore throat, the world must surely be ending, he would complain so, but now she had to admit that it was pretty miserable. She was tired of coughing, of Mrs. Dryler only sending up tea, chicken broth, and bread for her to eat, and irritated because Michael only came by to visit her at short intervals, claiming “you need your rest.”
If she needed any more “rest” at this point, she feared she’d be dead and buried.
She didn’t even bother to stifle a groan when Helen arrived with her dinner tray. “I swear I shall throw it across the room if it is another bowl of soup.”
Helen’s eyes widened slightly; not used to her mistress sounding so severe. “Not to worry, my lady. Mrs. Dryler said that you deserved a treat for being such a good patient.”
The maid set the tray on the bedside table and lifted the lid to reveal the scents of heaven. “Ah. That is better.” Albina greedily took in the smell of roasted pork, steamed vegetables, Yorkshire pudding, and even a strawberry tart. “Finally, a proper meal.”
Helen set the tray on her mistress’ lap, and Albina began to attack the meal with gusto. At this point, she didn’t care if she took small bites and portrayed the actions of a proper lady. She was hungry and it was delicious.
“I’ll come back later for the tray, my lady. And I’ll give your compliments to Mrs. Dryler.” The maid grinned before she quit the room, leaving Albina to her feast.
Every single morsel was gone, and she finally sat back with a contented sigh. She was still sipping on her tea when there was a brief knock at her door. Thinking that it was Helen returning for the tray, she bade her enter, only to find out it was Chael instead.
He eyed her plate and lifted a dark brow. “I heard you were grateful for something else to eat.” He took the tray and set it back on the bedside table, before sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I didn’t know I was going to have to suffer from being sick and starved to death.” She sniffed, and not because she was just trying to make a point.
He chuckled as she grabbed her handkerchief and wiped her nose.
“It’s not funny!” She crossed her arms, even as her lips twitched in spite of herself.
He shook his head. “Do you remember when Connor used to get a sore throat? One would think that Nostradamus was right and the world was ending.”
Albina’s chest seized at his words that so perfectly echoed her thoughts from moments before. “He was rather crabby, to be sure.”
His brown eyes held a hint of mirth w
hen he looked at her. “And now we know where he gets it from.”
Albina’s mouth fell open. Could it be that he was actually teasing her? It made her heart beat with renewed vigor. “If that is true, then I would have to say that Mary and Sarah got their stubborn natures from their father.”
Michael’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “If you weren’t so ill, I might just have to call you out for that slur on my honor.”
“It’s not a ‘slur’ if it’s the truth,” she countered, earning her another rich laugh. She shrugged, adding, “At least Connor got your dark hair. Can you imagine how much he would detest me if he’d inherited my red?” She shook her unbound hair now, just imagining the battle that would have ensued should that have been a reality.
But when she felt a slight tug on one of the strands, she paused and looked down where Chael was rubbing a section of her hair between his thumb and forefinger. His eyes were fixated on the spot, as if the sight had nearly hypnotized him. “I was always fascinated with the color,” he murmured, almost to himself. “Not quite the color of fire, but more of a burnished copper.”
Albina held her breath, her gaze riveted on Chael. When he finally glanced up, their eyes met. It was as if time stood still. His focus dropped to her mouth and she stopped breathing entirely. They were so close that if both of them just leaned in a little bit closer…
He shook his head and rose to his feet. “I should go.” With one last, lingering glance at her, he left.
***
The next morning a miracle occurred. Albina awoke with a clear head, so she intended to make up for all the time she’d laid around like a slugabed.
Including a newly evolved plan to seduce her husband.
If that near kiss the night before had been any indication, it was apparent that he was still attracted to her, so she intended to use that to her advantage. While she still held that niggling doubt about his mysterious errand, she decided to push it out of her mind. She told herself there was a perfectly rational explanation, for surely if there was another woman, he wouldn’t look at her with such passion. She wasn’t so old that she hadn’t imagined that look of raw lust in her husband’s eyes.
But what if I was wrong and he rejects me? her inner voice chided.
Then that’s the choice you have to ask yourself if you’re willing to take. But isn’t he worth the effort?
Yes, he was.
With a small smile playing about her lips, she intended to start by making the most of this beautiful, new day.
The dark blue day dress that donned accented the red in her hair, and she smiled in anticipation as she went downstairs in search of Michael.
She found him in his study with his spectacles on, hunched over an estate ledger. He glanced up when she walked in, his gaze lingering on her before he frowned and returned to his work. “Good morning, Albina.”
“It is a lovely one, is it not?” she returned, sashaying over to the window. “I thought about taking a walk while the dew is still fresh on the grass.” She looked over her shoulder at him. As she’d suspected, he was watching her intently. “I don’t suppose you’d care to accompany me?”
He removed his glasses and sat back in his chair. “Are you sure that’s a good idea after you’ve been sick? You might contract another chill.”
She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Really, Michael. I’m younger than you. I have survived far worse ailments, I assure you, including birthing three children.”
She couldn’t be sure, but it almost seemed as though a light touch of color appeared on his cheeks. Surely he wasn’t actually…blushing?
He cleared his throat. “Yes, well, you make a valid point.” He rose to his feet. “In that case, I’ll be glad to join you.”
Albina grinned, and after they collected their outerwear, along with his cane and her bonnet, he offered her his arm as they walked outside.
They stood on the front step, and she breathed deeply of the fresh, summer air, still cool at this time of the morning, although the promise of warmth was there. “I forgot how…clean everything smells here. London is so polluted and covered with soot and smoke that even should I wish to take a walk in the park, it is crowded and carries a continuous, gloomy fog.”
“Indeed,” Michael said as they began a trek down the drive. “I find that my lungs aren’t as congested as they were.”
She glanced at him curiously. “I never knew that you suffered from such an affliction.”
He swung his cane at a tall tuft of grass. “I didn’t wish to bother you with unnecessary matters.”
She frowned then. “Your health is not inconsequential to me.”
“I didn’t mean to imply that it was, only that I didn’t want to burden you with my problems when you were dealing with your own.” He paused. “If you will recall, it was a rather difficult time after your parents died and the children left home.”
She digested his words, knowing that they were true. “Yes, I agree I didn’t feel like myself for some time.” She glanced down at the path at her feet. “Some days I still don’t.”
They were silent for a moment before he asked, “How has your writing been going?”
She grimaced. “Not at all, I’m afraid.” She sighed heavily. “I just don’t have any more advice to give.”
“I doubt that’s true,” he countered softly. “You’ve always been intelligent. I’m sure the words will come to you eventually.”
Albina’s lips twitched. “My mother would be horrified to hear you speak in such a manner. She always said that no man ever wished to marry a smart woman.”
“Then I would have to tell her that she is mistaken, for that is one of the things that made me fall in love with you.”
She looked sharply at Michael, although he stared straight ahead, his face wiped clear of any expression. “Was it?” she dared to ask.
This time, she saw the slight movement of his lips. “Among other things.”
“Like what?” she prodded. Now her curiosity had been flamed.
He pondered her question for a moment and then said, “You were beautiful, of course. And kind and good natured.” He shifted a sideways glance at her. “And you made me laugh. Not many women could do that.”
Albina’s mouth fell open. “That’s what I loved about you, your ability to make me smile!”
Suddenly, his brows came down in a frown. “I fear I’ve lost that particular talent over the years.”
Albina shrugged and hugged his arm. “Oh, I don’t know. I’m rather content today.”
He stopped and turned to her. His brown eyes were searching as they rested on her face. “Are you? Truly?”
“Yes,” she answered honestly.
She saw his throat work, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, as if he were trying to conceal some deeper, thicker emotion. “I’m glad to hear it.”
He bent down and likely intended to give her a slight peck on the lips, a gesture of his own complacency, but the moment his mouth touched hers; her eyes slid shut with the promise of something more. She waited a heartbeat of time and then nearly rejoiced when his lips began to move. She slid her hands up his chest and grasped the lapels of his greatcoat, urging him to continue, perhaps never to stop.
It had been so long since she’d had such intimate human contact that she craved it as much as someone wandering in the desert craved water.
She feared he might pull away when he tensed as if he might do so, but then his arms came around her and he pressed her against his body. She sighed, for she loved it when he held her.
He seemed to take that as encouragement to deepen the embrace, running the tip of his tongue against the seam of her lips. She opened to him, and her heart fluttered at the sound of his groan. The kiss grew and flourished like a flower exposed to the sun.
Albina clutched him as if he were the only thing keeping her on this earth, afraid that if she let go that this moment would disappear as well. She had loved this man since the moment he bowed before her
at her debut ball, and she knew that she would love him for the rest of her life.
She hadn’t been brought up to believe in fairy tales, or that there was a soul mate out there for everyone. It was only because of Chael that she’d dreamed of the promise of happily ever after. Because of his love, he had made her believe.
He pulled away from her and she nearly cried out at the loss. “I should get back to work.” He started to turn away.
“Michael, wait…”
He paused, but didn’t fully face her. “Yes?”
I love you. “I’ll…see you at dinner?”
He nodded curtly.
She watched him depart, but it wasn’t with sadness, but joy. At long last, they had finally shared a kiss, a heart-stopping embrace that made her want to hug herself.
But tonight…
Tonight she intended for it all to come together.
And she knew just what dress to wear.
CHAPTER SEVEN
A lady must always observe the proprieties…
Lady A’s Advice Column
Albina had sent down word that she would be a little late to dine that evening, so Michael had asked Mrs. Dryler to hold the meal a bit longer, although he decided to partake of some port at the table while he waited for his wife to appear.
It had taken him all afternoon to put some rather lascivious thoughts of Albina out of his mind, but he felt confident that he was in firm control of his emotions, enough so that he might make it through dinner without making a fool of himself and pouncing on her like some sort of lecherous lad who had seen his first woman.
He was calm and collected as he lifted his wineglass to his lips.
But as Albina entered, he was forced to lower it back to the table, as his hand started shaking.
Was she trying to send him to an early grave?
Second Chance Love: A Regency Romance Set Page 23