by Cox, Chloe
“All of it,” she stuttered. “How can I not react to all of it?”
He laughed.
Then he smacked her on the ass.
“Forward march,” he said.
Startled, she jolted forward, confused because he hadn’t told her exactly what to do. Which in and of itself was new and confusing: in this brand new sort of situation, she relied on him. Totally. And now he wanted her to…?
She didn’t know.
But she moved forward.
And found herself drawn to certain…elements.
She ran her hand over the material of the spanking bench, and found herself shivering at the cool, textured leather. She stared at the fucking machine for several long moments, seriously wondering what, and how, and for how long, and why. She looked down to find herself fondling a riding crop while staring at the St. Andrew’s Cross. And she had to stop herself from strapping herself into a set of leather cuffs, just to see what it would feel like.
It was a little bit like being in the secret adult garden for the first time. She wanted to laugh.
“Have you ever told anyone what you want?” Soren asked.
The sound of his voice was so close. She suppressed a shudder, and smiled as she fingered the cuffs some more.
“Almost. Once. Kind of.”
“Who?”
Cate stiffened. The answer was Jason. Back when she’d been naive enough, or stupid enough, or simply in enough denial to believe that there problems were mutual. That it was a relationship issue, that it was something that could be worked on, that “communication” would help. She’d gone against every instinct she had and forced herself to tell him that she wanted to be tied down, because she thought it would help her marriage. Jason’s reaction had been weird—almost like he was intimidated by it, and that made him angry.
He’d have just used it against her the next time he wanted to make her feel like shit. Thank God they hadn’t actually done it. Thank God.
“That’s not a great memory for me,” Cate said.
“No shit,” Soren said, and then his arms were around her. From behind, he wrapped his arms around her, covering her with his warm body, his hard strength, his wild scent. Cate sighed and sank into him, leaning her head back against his shoulder, letting him hold her.
God, that felt good.
Almost likee c>Almost she could forget what they were talking about.
“No hiding, Cate,” he said. “Did he use it to abuse you?”
“No,” she said. “Well, yes. But not physically; we never actually did any of it, thank God. Emotionally, I guess. Later on, when…”
Damn. She didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to tell him that it was her husband, that she’d been dumb enough to be married to someone like that, that she was still, technically, married to someone like that. She was different now. She didn’t…
“It’s in the past,” Soren said. Like he knew.
“Yes,” Cate said, and she didn’t know if her heart was beating so fast because she was lying, or because of Soren. Or because when she was with Soren, it did feel like the past.
His hands began to move across her naked body, to roam and rove, to explore. Cate’s breathing became a stuttered, staccato thing, reacting to every touch, every stroke, like she’d never felt anything like it before. Maybe she hadn’t. Soren cupped her breast and pinched her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, and she moaned.
“Let’s give you a new memory, then,” he said.
And then he let her go.
She was dazed, missing his touch again. She wanted to curse.
Until he dragged her over to the spanking bench.
“Spread your legs, bend over, and grab the handles,” he ordered.
He didn’t sound gentle anymore.
“Now,” he said. He clapped one hand on her shoulder and the other between her legs from behind, and forced her forward. Cate gasped, the feel of him cupping her there shooting through her to every last buzzing nerve, and stumbled forward on her heels. He would take his hand away soaking wet, she knew that.
She tottered a bit, still unsure of herself, and somehow felt his presence behind her—and that was enough. She spread her legs, lowered herself over the bench so that her stomach was resting comfortably, and grabbed the handles in front of her.
It felt obscene.
Aside from how exposed she was physically—and ‘exposed’ didn’t really cover it; she was completely open to anything he might do, and she wouldn’t see it coming—the bench had been designed so that her breasts hung free, with easy access to anyone who might play with her from behind.
She could feel her wetness begin to seep down her thighs.
And she just stayed like that. For what felt like forever. Balanced precariously on the edge ofusly on te ofussomething.
Finally, he spoke.
“Do you feel exposed?” he said from somewhere behind her.
Cate laughed harshly. “What do you think?”
“As exposed as you did before, when I had you naked under the light?”
She was mildly stunned. She wouldn’t have thought of it, wouldn’t have put it that way, but now that he’d said it—dammit, another thing he was right about.
“No,” she said.
“Because your face is hidden.”
It wasn’t a question.
“I guess so,” she said. “I wouldn’t…I’m not sure.”
She exhaled her frustration. There was something so unfair about even a tacit admission that Soren might know more about her reactions than she did. Unfair, and a little embarrassing, and a lot arousing, for some reason.
She was so wrapped up in that that she jumped when he touched her. He placed his hand on the back of her thigh and slid it upwards, laughing softly when she let out an explosive breath.
“Then you’d better thank me for letting you stay like this,” he said.
“Thank you?”
The hand disappeared and then landed again on her ass with a decisive slap.
He had…spanked her.
Cate shook her head. Her body’s reaction was immediate, and visceral, and undeniable. She wanted it again.
“I’m cutting you some slack today, Cate,” Soren said easily. “First day and all. But after this, I won’t. Not at all. Discipline is part of the deal. And I’m damn good at it.”
She breathed heavily, still in shock. “I believe you.”
“Then what do you say?” he asked sharply.
“Thank you,” she said without hesitation.
Soren chuckled, and teased a disinterested trail over her now quivering ass with his fingers. The lightness of his touch, in contrast to how his heavy palm had felt striking her sensitive flesh, drove her insane. She practically arched toward him.
“New memory,” he said again. “Tell me your fantasies.”
Cate blinked. She had literally no idea if she could do that. Not just because it was frightening; she was almost past feeling f /fost feelear about it. Her mind blanked. It had been so long since she’d felt good enough about herself or her life to get into a fantasy, to really let herself go, to really…
“Cate,” Soren said. “Tell me the last thing you masturbated to. Now.”
Oh shit.
She froze. She hadn’t realized she was moving, ever so slightly, shifting and contracting, anticipating his touch, until she froze. Because she definitely knew what she’d been thinking about the last time she masturbated, and it wasn’t blank. It was the last thing she’d thought she’d be able to say.
“Now,” he said again, and slid a curled finger inside her.
“Oh God,” she moaned.
“Cate,” he warned. “Now, or I will bring you close and then never let you come, again and again, until you lose your damn mind.”
“Oh Jesus, Soren,” she said as he slowly finger-fucked her. It was just a taste, just a preview, like he’d said, and it was driving her crazy. The thought of never being allowed to come struck actual, real fear into her hea
rt, which almost made her want to laugh.
Almost.
“Oh fuck, Soren, it was you,” she said, hanging her head slightly while he toyed with the slick, soft flesh around her entrance. “You, and those rings on the bar, and what you said…”
She thought she heard a rumble behind her.
His fingers stopped.
And then he pushed two inside her, hard, his huge hand easily resting on her ass as he did so. She grunted, unable to avoid making a sound at the intrusion, and couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like when he shoved his cock inside her. She’d seen it, sort of. She was almost afraid.
“Get up,” he ordered. His voice was hoarse. “I’m keeping my fingers inside you because I feel like it.”
Accommodating that was trickier than it sounded. He chuckled.
“Hobble on over to that table,” he said.
Cate squirmed a little, just to feel him inside her, and he squeezed. Jesus. That table looked so far away. But she’d said it, she’d told him, and it hadn’t ended in disaster. He hadn’t said anything yet, either, but that wasn’t so bad. That was already so much better than she’d expected.
Just before she reached the table, Soren let her go and spun her around, one hand on her shoulder, the other grabbing for her hand. He pulled on her, making her bend, and put her hand on—oh holy hell, put it right on his rock-hard dick, bulging out from his jeans like it had a job to do.
“Feel ho="+">“Few hard that made me?” he rasped. “Believe me when I say that you’re going to get your wish. And don’t you ever feel bad about that, Cate, because I’m going to love watching your face when you do.”
And then he pushed her backwards, onto the table.
Cate sat on the edge, temporarily speechless. It was as though he’d said the one thing she might have dreamed he’d say, the thing she’d wish for him to say, if she still let herself do things like that anymore. She almost didn’t believe it was real.
Almost.
“Lie down, ass over the edge, legs spread,” he said roughly. “Do it now.”
He looked about as desperate to fuck her as she was to be fucked—in theory. A small shiver shuddered through her at the idea, at the thought that she was very likely about to get fucked just as he wanted it, but it wasn’t…it wasn’t quite right. She wasn’t feeling as elated as she thought she’d feel, as needy, as mindless.
No, that was just nerves. She was nervous. And holy God, she was horny.
She hurried to do as he said.
“Ankles by your thighs, on the edge,” he said. “Arms out a little bit, like that.”
And then she felt the cuffs.
First her ankles, then her wrists. Cuffed into place. Immobile. Bound. Spread and bound and helpless, and, oh God, she was already feeling it build inside her, felt so much that she had to arch her back slightly to do something to let it out, even a little bit.
The residual fear that he was about to fuck her began to dissipate, because, well, she was helpless. Except for her safeword, which she knew her body wouldn’t let her use, not in a million years. She knew fear wasn’t the ideal emotion, but it was leaving, it was fading, and it was just a reflex.
Goddammit, why wasn’t he touching her?
She raised her head and looked down, to where he stood between her legs, perfectly positioned. Huge and golden and hard, and oh fuck, she was losing her mind.
“I’m not going to fuck you yet,” Soren said. “Believe me, you’re gonna need plenty of warning for that, Cate.”
Her lower stomach contracted in time to her frenzied breathing. Somehow the announcement that he wasn’t about to fuck her was even more maddening, and the promise that she’d need warning for that was…was something she believed utterly.
And he had her tied down. Spread.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he said. “I just got a new plaything, sweetheart, and I want to see how it works.”
And then he reached forward and dragged one giant hand down the length of her body, from her chest to her belly to her pussy, leaving a shuddering wreck in his wake.
“Oh God,” she gasped.
“That’s about right,” he said.
And then he pulled a chair up.
Cate couldn’t see most of what he did. Couldn’t tell what he was doing to her most of the time. She felt his mouth on her, his tongue inside her, his rough bristles scraping against her folds, his fingers inside her pressing up on that one spot that drove her wild. His lips around her clit, sucking and licking at the same time, with more fingers inside her. Her nipples on fire as he clamped them, her inner muscles spasming as he pressed down on her stomach, her eyes flying open as he pressed against her virgin anus and she liked it.
She’d owned this body for thirty years, and she’d had no idea what it could do until Soren Andersson showed her.
And she didn’t know how long it took her to start begging, but it was right before she started screaming. Cate lost track of the number of times she came, lost track of the types of orgasms, some of them brand new, some of them shattering, some of them light, wispy floating things that settled in a thin layer of bliss over her whole body. It was only when her legs began to cramp that Soren uncuffed her, and it wasn’t because she asked him to—she didn’t even know her muscles were that tight until he started to massage them.
She didn’t think she could speak, so she didn’t try. She just tried to breathe.
And she didn’t realize how little she expected from him until he showed her what he would do—she was shaking in her own little world, eyes closed, mind scattered, thinking it would just be like this, she’d come back to the surface by herself, when Soren picked her up and carried her over to his chair. He sat down with Cate in his arms, still unable to talk, murmuring nonsense, and held her.
He kissed her forehead.
He stroked her hair.
He held her.
And he was there, watching her, taking care of her, as she came back down to earth.
It was more than anyone else had ever done for her. Anyone else she’d ever had in her life, and not just sexually, not just… It was more cared for than she’d ever felt before. This man who barely knew her paid more attention to her, took more care with her, than anyone else she’d ever met, loved, hated.
How can that be?
And that was when Cate Kennedy started to cry.
Soren didn’t freak out. Of course Soren didn’t freak out; he only held her tighter, stroked her back, kept her safe. And when she’d cried h>’d crerself out into his chest, he said this:
“You deserved nothing less.”
Like he knew.
Again, like he knew.
Cate looked up into those insane blue eyes, and asked, “Did anyone ever do anything like that for you?”
And Soren Andersson blinked.
Soren freaking Andersson blinked.
“Is that part of the debriefing?” he said, smiling.
“Hell if I know,” Cate said. “Maybe. My brain isn’t… Yeah, sure, why not.”
Soren laughed out loud, his arms tightening around her once again. She could get used to that.
“You might need some more recovery time before you can handle a debriefing,” he said.
“Hey, I’ll show you a debriefing, mister,” she said, struggling to shift.
Soren held her in place.
“It’s more likely to be the other way around,” he said.
It took a second, but Cate’s orgasm-addled brain finally picked it up. Heh. Debrief. And then she remembered that giant, promising erection, and how he said he wouldn’t fuck her. And she wanted to debrief him, very literally, and very, very much.
Why wouldn’t he fuck her?
Maybe it was insecurity. Maybe it was the rush of courage she felt after finally doing something she’d always been afraid to do—submit. Maybe it was just impulse.
But that was when Cate reached down and felt for Soren.
chapter 8
; Soren groaned. Cate’s hand on his cock, even through his jeans, was almost enough to short circuit his brain and override his will power. He had never wanted anyone the way he wanted this woman, and she was naked, in his lap, and grabbing at his goddamn cock. He had just watched her writhe and moan and scream while he’d made her come over and over again, and the whole time he’d known he wouldn’t be able to bury himself inside of her, not today, because the fear he’d seen course through her at the thought had told him she wasn’t ready.
And now her goddamn hand was on his cock.
ize=fonCate,” he growled, and dug his hands into her soft, pliant flesh. That did not help. He wrapped his hand around her wrist and held her motionless instead. “You’re not ready.”
He saw the anger flash on her face, and wanted to smile. Her reaction to insecurity because he wouldn’t sleep with her was to fight. He liked that.
“I’m an adult,” she said.
“Yeah, I’m aware,” he said.
“I mean I am fully capable of making my own decisions,” she said hotly. “If you don’t want me, man up and say it, but don’t hide behind some sort of—”
“First of all, bullshit that you’re always capable of making your own decisions. No one is, at least not the right ones. We all do stupid shit because we all have issues and scars and whatever else you want to call it,” Soren said.
Fuck it. He wasn’t done. He lifted her up and set her back down so she was straddling his lap, which was even harder on him and his poor tortured dick, but which also meant she couldn’t hide her face from him quite as easily.
“And you’re trying to put distance between us now because you’re feeling freaked out at what I just did to you and how it made you feel by coming up with this completely fucking crazy idea that I don’t want you,” he said, letting his voice rise. He was tense. He couldn’t help it.
Cate’s hands dug into his shoulders. The heat from her naked body was palpable.
Soren took a deep breath.
“Goddamn you, woman, don’t you have any idea how hard it is for me not to throw you down and fuck you until you forget your own goddamn name? Do you have any idea how much self-control this requires? I am fucking Superman right now.”