by Carl Weber
“What do you want?” I snapped. “I really don’t have anything to say to you.”
She had a smug look on her face as she sashayed over to me. “What do I want? I want my man back. That’s what I want.” She stood looking down at me. I watched as she ran her hand across the top of the piano, continuing to speak before I could shut her down. “I want to lie on top of this piano with your head buried between my legs as you play me a song. I want—”
“Well, that’s not happening. And watch what you say. We are in a church.” I stood up just to get the image she’d described out of my head. Simone knew that was one of my fantasies. And well, to be honest, I’d been with Tia only a couple of weeks, but this celibacy thing was starting to get to me. I think I was officially the king of cold showers.
“That never stopped you from suggesting it in the past.”
“Well, that was fantasy and role-playing. This is reality, and we’re in a real church. A church you’ve been kicked out of, I might add. What are you doing here anyway? Haven’t you caused enough trouble?”
“I came here to see you. I want you back, Aaron. I know I made some mistakes, but I wanna make it work this time. I swear.”
“Have you totally lost your mind? Get the hell outta here, Si-mone.” I pointed at the door.
“You’re gonna have to drag me out.” She put her hands on her hips and shot me a daring look.
“I will if I have to. I’d prefer it if you left on your own. It’s late and I have work to do.” I walked to the door, opening it. Believe it or not, that arrogant wench sat down on my piano bench.
“Well, I’m not going anywhere. We need to talk.” She crossed her legs defiantly, like she had the final word on the matter.
“I don’t have anything to say to you, Simone. Now, get out!” I was struggling to keep my temper in check.
“Aaron, I’m trying to be nice here. This could go in an entirely different direction. I still haven’t forgotten you called me a bitch when we were in Maxwell’s office.”
“Well, if the shoe fits …,” I said, unable to believe her audacity. She wanted to focus on one word I’d used, like she hadn’t just helped pull off the biggest scheme ever against the church. Didn’t she realize that this church was my bread and butter, my livelihood? If she was messing with the church, then ultimately, she was messing with me.
“Don’t push it!” She pointed a finger. “Now, why don’t you come over here and let me unzip those pants so I can suck that dick like I used to? I know Tia’s prudish ass ain’t sucking it for you, and I know how much you love a good blow job.”
I took a deep breath and tried to regain my composure, although my Johnson was not cooperating at all. Just the thought of having her mouth around my stuff had me fully erect, and there was no hiding it from Simone with the thin pants I was wearing.
“My, my, my. What do we have here? Somebody missed Momma, didn’t he?” She was almost singing. She gestured for me to come to her, and I took a couple of steps closer.
The thought of walking over and letting her do what she’d suggested came to mind. Simone did have some impeccable oral skills. I watched her lick her lips as she waved for me to come closer. Again, even though it had been only a couple of weeks, it felt like a lifetime since I’d done anything to relieve my sexual tension, and I was so backed up. All that kissing and touching I did with Tia hadn’t helped any either. One time wouldn’t hurt, would it? I mean, even if Simone decided to tell Tia, I could always deny it. She’d never believe Simone over me. Tia trusted me.
I stopped in my tracks. When it came down to it, that was the point: My girlfriend trusted me. I looked down at my penis and shook my head. Sorry, dude. For once it’s time for me to start thinking with the big head and not the little one.
I looked up at Simone. “I asked you to leave nicely. I’m not gonna ask again.” I pulled out my cell phone. “I still don’t understand why you would do what you did to this church. Then again, I’m still trying to figure out why you lied about your father to the police and me. Or why you lie about anything, for that matter. I guess now I know why your father wanted me to run his company instead of you.”
“Don’t you judge me, Aaron Mackie.” I guess I finally hit a nerve. “You don’t know what I’ve been through. What it’s like being me.”
“Poor little spoiled rich girl. Thinks she can do whatever she wants. Well, here’s a news flash: One day you’re going to die a very lonely, bitter woman. ’Cause from what I can see, there’s only one thing you’re good at other than being miserable, and a brother can find that on any street corner in Queens for a bag of weed and a forty ounce. Now, get out of the church before I call the cops.”
She crossed her arms and jutted out her chin defiantly. “Make the call. But then I’m just going to call your friend Andrew Gotti.”
I froze with the phone halfway to my ear. Just the mention of Gotti caused panic to spread throughout my body. I’m sure Si-mone could see it all over my face.
“That’s right. I know all about Andrew Gotti.”
“So, what about him? What’s there to know? Just another white man, as far as I’m concerned.” I tried to pull myself together and act cool, like I wasn’t pressed, but I don’t think she bought it for one second.
Simone started walking her fingers across my piano in a taunting manner. I wanted to grab her hand and break each finger. “I’m sure the bishop would love to know about him. Oh, and Tia would just lose her mind if she found out Gotti was your parole officer.”
My back went straight as a board and I swallowed hard.
“So, you were in jail?” she questioned. She might not have been sure, for all I knew, but I had pretty much just told on myself with my body language.
“Yeah, I was incarcerated.” I glared at her defiantly. “What about it?”
“You got the nerve to get mad for telling a little white lie about my father, and you’re an ex-con on parole?”
I hated the way that sounded.
“I didn’t lie to you, Simone, or anyone else for that matter.”
Simone came closer and stuck her finger in my face. “But you didn’t tell the truth either.”
“It just never came up,” I said, though I knew my point was weak.
“Omitting the truth is just as bad as a lie. Maybe worse, because you’re intentionally being deceitful. I believe it’s what the saints refer to as lying by omission.” She put her finger to her chin and looked upward as if she were deep in thought. “Do you really think you would have passed that vote if the church boards knew you were on parole?”
I didn’t answer, so she continued. “Hmmm, I wonder who else you’ve omitted the truth from? The bishop, or maybe Tia?”
I could see the wheels churning in her evil little head. “Look, you can’t tell anybody about this.” I was no longer trying to play it cool. This was serious. She had to know that I needed her to keep her mouth shut about all this.
“I won’t tell a single soul—as long as you take me back to your place and make passionate love to me.” Simone had a coy, coquettish lilt in her voice.
I was tempted to take her up on it. I really did not need this to get out, at least not until I could win the national championship I was brought here to win. I stared at her as I contemplated my options, and for the first time, I felt like I understood how scandalous Simone really was. She would stop at nothing to get what she wanted. I wondered if she had something to do with the church’s missing money the bishop had been talking about. I sure wouldn’t put it past her. I decided right then and there that she wouldn’t hold me hostage to her little games and drag me down to hell with her.
“Look, I’m not going to play this little game with you, Si-mone. The last thing I’m gonna do is sit here and allow you to blackmail me. I don’t care who you tell.”
Simone gasped as if I had slapped her. It’s like I took all the wind out of her sails by taking away her power over me. “This is not over, Aaron. Trust me, this is
not over by a long shot.”
With that, Simone spun on her heels and stomped out of the choir room, slamming the door in her wake.
God, I hoped she didn’t call my bluff. If she did, how in the world was I going to explain this, especially to Tia?
Monique
55
We were lying in bed next to each other, but T. K. wasn’t touching me, and I wasn’t touching him. We had our backs to each other. This was unusual, because we’d slept in the spoon position for most of our marriage. Things had been like this since James’s death—or, as you may recall, the day Maxwell told T. K. about our past relationship. I never knew there could be such a distance between two people in a king-size bed.
I could hear T. K.’s breathing, and I could tell he was awake because he wasn’t snoring.
“You could have told me.” Suddenly, his voice pierced the silence.
“What?” I lifted my head. I wasn’t sure what he was saying; I was just grateful that he was talking to me. Right about now, even if he had said “Go to hell,” that would be better than the silent treatment he’d been giving me every day in our home.
“You could have told me about Maxwell.”
I took a breath, knowing that no matter how much I wanted to, there was no escaping this conversation. “He was the last thing on my mind when you and I started courting. You told me that you didn’t want to know about my past. You said you didn’t care who I’d been with, what people thought or said. You said all you cared about was me and you. So, I followed suit. From that moment on, it was always about me and Bishop T. K. Wilson. Everything else that had happened in my past, any other man I’d been with, I erased them from my mind—and that goes for Maxwell.”
I rolled over, facing T. K.’s back. Finally, he faced me. My heart was pounding against my rib cage. I knew he might start asking more questions about Maxwell and me, questions from our past that could eventually lead up to the present. If he did, should I tell him? Should I admit to sleeping with Maxwell?
“You did know Maxwell and I were friends.” His tone was more accusatory than questioning.
“Yes, but that was way before I fell in love with you.”
“Why would you date me if you knew this?”
“I was through with him. I love you. I will do anything in the world for you. You just don’t know.” I stopped myself before I went too far.
T. K. let out a deep breath but didn’t respond. It was my turn to turn the tables now.
“Can I ask you a question?” I said. “Have you ever taken money from the church?”
“What?”
“You don’t have to lie to me. Did you?”
“No! Absolutely not!” T. K. shot straight up in the bed.
“Would you put your hand to God?”
He was appalled, but I was serious.
“Yes, I would. But why do you think I would steal? That’s preposterous.” He lay back down in the bed, but I could still feel the tension.
“Someone told me that you were stealing from the church.”
“Who said that? I’ve never stolen from the church. I’ve only given to it. You know that. You know me.”
“I know. It’s just that—”
“Who told you that?”
“You’ve got to promise me that you won’t say anything.”
T. K. shot me a look, reminding me that I wasn’t in any position to be calling any shots. “Maxwell. Maxwell’s the one who told me.”
“And you believed him?”
“He showed me papers, told me he would have you sent to jail. I didn’t know what to believe. All I knew was I loved you.”
“That son of a—” T. K. knew he was about to hit the roof, so he stopped himself.
I waited quietly. I wanted to reach out and comfort him but knew it wasn’t the right time.
He said, “Maxwell’s been doing a lot of talking lately, especially when it comes to me and you. He really does hate me, doesn’t he?”
“Yes, because he knows he can’t have me and that I will never love him.”
T. K. looked me directly in the eye for the first time in days. “Do you have any feelings for that man?”
“No. I’ve got no feelings for him at all. I love you, T. K., and only you.”
“Then Maxwell Frye will have to get over it, because our love is here to stay.”
I let out a sigh of relief. Finally, we were both on the same page.
“I think he’s trying to ruin both of our lives,” I said.
“Don’t worry. As soon as this competition is over, I’ve got something for Maxwell Frye.”
Now all of T. K.’s anger was directed at Maxwell and not at me. I was glad for that, as long as he didn’t find out what I’d been doing recently.
“You don’t hate me, do you?” I asked.
“I can never hate you. I love you.” There was a pause. “Is that why you haven’t been sleeping with me? Because you were ashamed of me?”
I didn’t answer.
“Wow, okay. You don’t have to answer that.”
“Baby, I love you,” I said.
“I love you too. I’ve missed you.”
For the first time in weeks, T. K. took me into his arms and held me tight. We began to kiss, first slowly, tentatively; then we intertwined our arms, our legs, our hearts and made love for the first time in a long time and became one again.
Simone
56
There was only one day before Aaron and the choir left for Washington, D.C., to compete in the National Gospel Choir Championship. Maxwell had been on my ass constantly about making sure they ended up on the losing end. He was very clear about not wanting them to get the money they needed to pay off the mortgage on the church and the school. He kept emphasizing that if he didn’t get what he wanted, I wouldn’t get the three hundred thousand dollars he’d promised me, and I’d wind up in jail.
He had no idea that I already had a plan in place to take care of the situation but I can’t lie—I found Maxwell’s threats to be quite motivating. My original plan was to make sure Aaron was so shaken up by my threat to expose his criminal past that he’d come running back to me with his tail between his legs. Either that or he’d pack up and leave town to save himself from the humiliation of being exposed in front of the church.
He’d tried to play all hard the night I showed up at the church, but he was afraid I was going to tell. I could see it in his eyes. His pride wouldn’t let him give in, but he was definitely concerned. The only reason I hadn’t exposed his ass right away was because I didn’t want to play all my cards at once. I also didn’t want to give him or the church enough time to recover from the bomb I was about to drop on their heads.
There was also the little fact that despite everything that was going on, I still loved Aaron and I knew that once I revealed his little secret, there was no turning back. I’d probably lose him forever. That was not something I wanted, but unfortunately it was either him or me, and, well, self-preservation is key. Things were down to the wire now, and it was time for me to accept that Aaron and I were through and it was time to bring down his egotistical ass.
I walked into the school building around 6:30 p.m. with a small folder under my arm. I found what I was looking for when I heard Tia’s voice coming out of a classroom. I peeked in the small window and saw her sitting in a circle with about ten other women. When I pushed open the door, everyone in the room turned to look at me. Tia’s eyes seemed to bug out of her head with surprise.
“Can I help you?” Tia asked.
“Pardon me. This is the rape counseling group, isn’t it?” I continued to speak before anyone could answer. “I know I’m late, but it’s okay for me to come in, isn’t it? I don’t have to register or anything, do I? Is everyone welcome? I just have so much I need to get off my chest.” I patted my eyes with a tissue.
The expression on Tia’s face said exactly how she felt: Hell no, you’re not welcome.
But before she could say a word
, the other women were welcoming in the timid, shy-acting woman I portrayed. Tia watched as one woman pulled a chair into the circle so that I could take a seat.
“Thank you for having me. I’m sorry again for being late,” I stated.
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Tia lied. “We welcome you.” She was gonna have some heavy repenting to do afterward. I know she hated me as much as I hated her, but she had no idea how much she would hate me when it was all said and done.
“Thank you, Sister Tia.” I smiled.
Sister Tia. Now, that was a good one. I wanted to laugh, but I kept my composure, and believe it or not, so did Tia. She ignored me as best she could and got right back to her meeting.
“So, anyway, ladies, like I was saying, tonight we’re going to talk about something we haven’t touched upon yet, and that’s forgiveness: forgiving ourselves and the person or persons who hurt us.”
There were several sighs, and some of the women shifted uncomfortably in their seats. I could tell they weren’t anywhere near the point of forgiveness. Good for them. Tia was spewing a bunch of feel-good crap anyway.
“I know, I know, ladies. Forgiveness is easier said than done. But remember, I’ve been in your shoes before, and I’ve forgiven the men who raped me.”
“But how do you forget?” a woman asked. “I can’t even look in the mirror without replaying the whole scenario in my mind.”
“You will never forget, but you can move on. That, however, is for another night, or maybe a one-on-one session. Let’s deal with forgiveness tonight.”
Tia had her mouth poised to continue speaking when I interrupted. She had better be ready for a lot of interruptions tonight, because I was planning on making a habit of it.
“Pardon me, uh, Sister Tia, but, uh, I have something specific that I was hoping to discuss tonight.”
I know she wanted to smack me for taking over her meeting. You should have seen the look the bitch gave me when I said, “I promise it won’t take long, and then you can get back to the matter of forgiveness. It’s just that it’s so heavy on my heart right now.”