by Sean Russell
of Teddy somewhat when he was pursuing his law degree. Teddy was always greatwithcomputers,buthehadrefusedtheemploymentoffersfromPhil.“You don’twantme,”wasalwaysTeddy’sreply,usuallyaccompaniedbyawrygrin.
Teddyseemedtohavealotoftimeonhishandsandtraveledoften,usuallyto nearby islands, the time away varying from days to months at a time. If Phil
wasn’tsoself-absorbeditmighthavestruckhimthatTeddyhadneveraskedhim foranythingovertheyears…nofavours,nohandouts,notevenadvice.Heonly ever desired assistance in devouring his libation of choice, Johnnie Walker Scotch whiskey. His latest thing was to chase the scotch with Monster energy drink.Thecombinationwasknownas‘staggerah’.
WhateverTeddy’soccupationwas,Phildidn’tcare.
Theywerefriends,hewashere,andPhilwastalkingtohim.
“Teddy…I’mgonnakillthatwoman.”
“Goahead.Killshe.”
“I’mserious,Teddy.”
“Ientstutter,buddy.Youplanhowyougundoit?”
“Huh?”
“YougottoplanitPhil.Oryouwanttogotojail?”
“Huh?Ofcoursenot.”
“Right.Butyouknowthatkillingsomeoneisbarestress.”
“Whatstress?”
“Yeah.Afteryoukillsheyougottogetridofthebody,thendependingonhow youkillshe,thereisthemessthatyougottocleanupandtheevidence.”
“Teddy!Areyoumad?”
“Me?Ienttheonedatgunkillshe.Youare!Ionlytryingtokeepagoodfriend outofjail.Andthenyawillneedanalabi.Imightbeabletohelpyouthere.”
“Okay,okay.Iseeyourpoint.”
“Soyougotthevenueplanned?Howyougundoit?Yougotaunlicensedgun?I
can’tyougivemine…
Oryougunchopsheuporpoisonshe?Igotsomeratpoison.Youcouldhave that.Yougundoitlateatnight,yeah?”
“Teddy…Igetit.”
“Yousure?’Causeonthephoneitsoundlikeifyoudidonyouway.Nowifthat wasthecasetheonlyplaceyouwouldendupinisHerMajesty’sPrison.”
“You’reright.Iwasjustsoangry…Iwasgoingoutofmyhead.”
“Phil,whahappenman?Talktome.”
“Jadehasbeen…unfaithful.She’sbeensleepingwithanotherman.”Phil’sface contortedwithpainashemadethisadmission.
Teddysmiled.Heappearedtobebitinghistonguetokeepfromlaughing.Phil
wasannoyedandembarrassed.
“Phil, you want to tell me, in all seriousness, that you want to take another human’s life because she had sex and you weren’t there?” This time Teddy laughedoutright.
“Teddy.She’swrong.Shecan’tdothattome.”
“Shedid.Andfurthermore,ithappentobettermenthanyou.”
“Wuh?ThisismyfriendIheartalking?”
“Yes,yourfriend.Teddy…Yougethorn.Youentthefirst,youwon’tbethelast.
Getoverit.Besides,Iknowyouentinnocentyouself.”
“So you mean to tell me that if this happened to you, you would handle it so cool?”
Teddytookasipofhisdrink.“Beenthere,donethat.”Hesmackedhislips.
Philfeltsomewhatinsecurenow.
“Butyou’renotmarried.It’sdifferent.”Phildranknervously.
“Ahornisahorn.TheTrinisevenmekasong’boutthat.”
“IcanseeI’mnotgettinganysympathyfromyou.”
“Ifyouwantsympathygoan’buyagreetingcard.
I’m here to be your friend and I gonna keep it real.” Phil looked drained. He playednervouslywiththeiceinhisglass.Teddytooktheglassawayandpoured himanotherdrink.
“SowhatdoIdonowTeddy?Ifeeltotallyfucked.
I going out of my head. I don’t know what to do.” Phil drank from his glass again.Helookedlikehewasabouttocry.Hewasbarelyholdingittogether,just barely.TeddyregardedPhilcarefullyanddecidedtospeak.
“Buddy,Iknowyou’rehurting.Butastheoldpeoplesay,itwillpass.Thisisthe hardesttime.Thewoundisfresh,andyourealworried’boutyourimage.
Imean,youare thePhilFerguson,attorney-at-law.”Phil’seyessparkedwithlife again.
“Iknow.I’lldivorcethebitch.Shecan’tbemarriedtomeafterwhatshedid.”
“That’samorecivilizedresponse.Welcomebacktothetwenty-firstcentury.”
Philwasanimatednow;nowthatheknewhewasonamission.Hismindbegan
toworkagain.Whichlawyerwouldheuseprotecthisassets?Afterall,hewas themainincomeearnerfromdayone.Hewouldwinthisone,andheknewhow
towin.
CHAPTERTHREE
Amanda Callender was a bright girl. She was also very pretty, and she had decided early in her life that she wanted it all. She was not going to settle for living at just above subsistence level, working for just enough to survive and littlemore.HerauntinGuyanahadtriedtodispossessherofanynotionofbeing a top model or the like even though she had the look, the potential and the passion.“YouwillneverbeonTVlikealldemgirl.Yougongotthreechildren bythetimeyoureachtwenty…”wasthetypicalresponsethatAuntMilliegave
toAmandawhenevershetalkedaboutherdream.
Amandahaddiscoveredthattherewerebenefitstolookingthewayshedid,and beingbuiltthewayshewas.Shediscoveredthattheseattributesgaveherpower overmen,andshewassmartenoughtofigureoutjusthowdumbmenwereand
the lengths they would go to get their fantasy female. She also knew how to fight,howtorun,andhowtosurvive.
Lateonenightinthenot-quite-suburbantownofAlbouystown,herlifetookan unexpectedturn.Shewas14,butlookedlike18.Sheusuallysleptonthefloor next to her aunt’s bed, since that was where there was room in the small, two-bedroom,greenhearthousewhichshesharedwitheightotherhumanbeingsand
whichshecalledhome.
Thehousewaslocatedonastreetwithseveralothersmuchlikeit—inthesame state of disrepair. The living area stood on thin wooden stilts four to eight feet talldependingonthelocation’spropensityforflooding.
The walls were made of tired wooden lathes, weather-beaten without the protection of paint. They were so warped and sagged that you saw just a semblance of the original structure, much like an old leather shoe which gets round and amorphous, its original beauty and design now invisible. The street wasstrewnwithrefuseinmanyplaces,garbagecollectionnotbeingacommon
occurrenceatthisgeographicalpoint.Thefetidaromablendedwiththepungent smellofthestillwaterintheopencanalsthatranparalleltothestreetandthat pooled in the large potholes that littered the street. There were no parks, no playgrounds,nolawns.Therewaswork,therewashardship,andtherewaspain.
The night in question was one she would never forget. It had started out
brilliantly. She had the bed to herself! For the first time in her life she would havetheluxuryofsleepinginabedallonherown.Sheimaginedhowwomen
like Tyra Banks and Naomi Campbell must feel living the life of luxury. She startedtodreamagainthatmaybesomedayshecouldmakeitbig.Heraunthad
decided to go to Linden, a town nearly seventy miles inland, to see the new grandchild and decided that Amanda’s two half sisters, who were younger, shouldhaveatasteoflifeoutsideofGeorgetown,Guyana’scapital,wherethey lived.Amandareveledinherthoughts.Itwasgoingtobesonice.Shesavoured the idea that she would not have to sleep in he
r usual station on the floor. She wouldnothavetoendurethegrunts,thescenesandtheodourofTanko’svisits.
Tanko was Aunt Millie’s man. Aunt Millie did not officially have a boyfriend.
ShewasaChristianwoman,raisingherniecesandnephews.Tankowasafriend
whosometimesneededaplacetoresthisheadonhislongjourneyhomeafter
hiscourageousattemptsatemptyingSingh’sBarofElDoradorumattheendof aweekofhardtoiling.Inreturnforhislodging,hetriedtoensurethattheplace remainedina‘decent’stateofrepair.
Amanda hated Tanko. He was old—about fifty-three—dirty, and skinny with a bigbelly.Whatwasworsewasthathealwaysstankofrumwhenhevisitedfor
his‘rest’,andhehurtAuntMillieandcalledhernameslike‘bitch’and‘whore’.
Amanda hated the way he looked at her, like he wanted to call her names and hurthertoo.Theworstthingwasthathepukedonher.Thatwasthemostawful thing that ever happened to her. It was not deliberate. He was drunk. He had completed his customary two-minute interlude with Aunt Millie, and as usual had collapsed on the poor woman. She had carefully extracted herself from under him and rolled to the side of the bed. Unfortunately, this was too much stimulation for his rum-filled stomach, so he emptied its contents on the floor besidethebed.Lyingonthefloor,willingherselftosleep,willingherselfnotto hear,nottosmell,Amandawonderedwhypeoplecouldnotturnofftheirother
sensesthewayyoucouldcloseyoureyes.Ifshecouldonlyclosehernoseand herears,lifewouldbemuchbetter;shecouldgetsomesleep.
ShecouldnotbelievethesmellasthevomitlandedonherafterexitingTanko’s mouth.Thestenchwasunbelievable.RumwithundigestedcurrystruckAmanda
onherface.Shethoughtshewasinhell.Shefeltsickimmediately.Shealsofelt rage.Shecriedandthrewupatthesametime.
Tanko apologized. Aunt Millie gave Amanda twenty dollars the next day. She
toldheritwasfromTanko.
What the fuck was she supposed to do with twenty dollars? Twenty Guyanese dollars was equivalent to one US dime. She hated being poor. She hated being littlemorethananobject.Shewouldneveracceptthisasherlotinlife.Never.
Amandaknewwhatsexwas.Shehadregulardiscussionsonthematterwithher
friendVashti.
Vashti was just one year older than Amanda, and had been a seasoned campaignerfortwoyears,initiallywithhermother’sman.Vashtidescribedthe pain,rathertheagony,oftheordeal.Shealsodescribedthefear,therealterror she had for the man who forced himself on her at every opportunity until it becameacustom.Thenshelostthefear.Sexwasnothingtoher.Shediscovered how to use sex to get what she wanted—clothes, jewelry, or tickets to the big socashowatThirstPark.Amandatookitallin.Shealsohadinstructionalvideos courtesyofAuntMillieandTanko.Shethoughtthatshewouldratherdiethanlet amanhavehiswaywithher.Amandathoughtshewasinhellalready,andthat
deathcouldnotbeworse.
Thiseveningshewasnotinhell.Shewasinheaven.Shehadthebedtoherself.
Wow!TopModelhereIcome!Amandafeltontopoftheworld.Thiswasasign;
this hint of luxury was a signal that her life was going to change. Things were lookingup.
Amandafellintoadeepsleep.Shewasdreaming.
Thecomfortofthesoftdivanbedwiththelumpymattresswasunbelievable.It wassweet.Shewasintoxicated.Shehadwantedtostayupandsavourit,butshe drifted off to dreamland. She had just gotten a ticket to go to L.A. to be in America’sNextTopModel.
Herabsentfatherhadsenttheticket.
Tankowasalsodreaming,buthiseyeswereopen.
AuntMilliehadforgottentotellhimthatshewouldbetravellingandsonotto come.Itwas2:00am,andTankowassweetasmolasses,inthatalteredstateof inebriation that comes before drunken stupor. That was not by accident. Tanko purposely held back on the rum. He had plans for Millie. He was set for a
marathonthistime,notasprint.HewasgoingtoshowMilliewhathewasreally madeof.Hegotthe
‘coffin’ (a Chinese aphrodisiac similar to Viagra, but better) from Shah and he hadswalloweditearlier,givingitenoughtimetosoakin.
Tanko walked into Aunt Millie’s room. The boys were in the other room sleeping. They didn’t care; they were accustomed to him anyway. Tanko had a mildstirringinhisloinsinanticipationofhisencounterwithMillie.
Onenteringtheroomhebecameimmediatelyawareoftheemptyspaceonthe
floor.Noonewasthere,butthenhemadeoutafigureonthebed.Herealized thatitwasAmandaandhebecamerigidimmediately.Infact,hewassohardthat hethoughthewaseighteenagain. OhGod,hethought. Imustbeinheaven.
He had always lusted after Amanda. She was so pretty and that body she had wasamazing.Hekeptimaginingwhathewoulddowithit.Heignoredthefact
thatshewasonlyfourteen.Hedreamedofthedayornightwhenhecouldcatch her alone, away from the protective presence of Millie. God had answered his prayers. Tonight was the perfect night. He had her all to himself and he was ready.Hewasgoingtofuckher‘untilthesecondcomingofthesaviour’.Hewas sohornythathecouldhardlycontainhimself.Hewantedtojumprightonher, butherestrainedhimself.Hehadtolookatherfaceandbodyandrememberthis forever.Hewouldnotgetthischanceagain.
Amandawascluelessandunawareoftheimpendingsituation.Shewasnotfully
backfromdreamland.Shewasabouttogetontheplane,butsomehowshewas
off balance climbing the steps to board. Oh no. This can’t be happening. Top Models don’t trip, especially in public. Something was wrong. She opened her eyes.
Shewasonherbacknow.Buthow?Sheusuallysleptonhertummyoronher
side. Somebody had moved her. Recognition set in and with it anger, fear, and hatred. Tanko was on top of her, straddling her. He was distracted for the moment, hurriedly unbuttoning his pants, a task that proved more complicated withrumonboard.
Hethenfeltshocked.Hehadneverfeltpainlikethat.Itfeltlikeitwenttothe centerofhissoul,asifitwastimetodie.Buttherewasanothercomponentthat felt like someone had set a fire in his pants, just near his balls and his dick,
exceptinsteadofflamestheareafeltwet.Hesawtheendofthescissorssticking outofhispantsandAmandamovingoffthebed.Hewastooshockedandscared
torespondinanger.Hemightdie,orworse,hemightneverfuckagain.
Amandaclearedoutimmediately.Shewasontheroadandrunningbythetime
Tanko’s screams introduced themselves to the neighbourhood. She knew she could not stay. The boys could not protect her. She ran to Mickey’s house.
Mickey was her mother’s unsavoury friend. Aunt Millie had banned her from there,butitwastheonlyplaceAmandacouldgo.
CHAPTERFOUR
Philwasfeelingbetter.Hedidnotfeelgood,buthefeltbetterthanhedidthat morning.Nowhecouldfocus.Hehadagoal.Hecoulddosomethingandstop
playing the victim. Teddy was right. Teddy was always right. He was a good man. Phil shuddered just thinking about what would have happened if Teddy hadn’t called. His state of mind was so altered that he was likely to have done somethingstupid…
somethinghewouldregretfortherestofhislife.Hehadnotevenmadeithome.
HehadnotbeenabletocontactJadeanditinfuriatedhim.Hewasnotreadyto gobacktohishouse.Hefelt
thatitwouldmaybehaunthim.Itwaswherehehad received the call from Jimmy Cadogan and he just was not ready to be in that environmenttofeelthepalpablereminders.
Hetookadriveandstoppedatoneofhisfavouritebeaches—MiamiBeach.He
alwayswonderedwhyitwascalledMiamiBeachsinceitwasontheSouthcoast
ofBarbados.Itwascominguptosunsetanditwasbeautifuloutside.Hefounda secluded spot. He got out of his car, took off his shoes and socks and walked ontothebeach.Thesandfeltlikesilkasitcaressedhissolesandhistoes.Itwas therapeutic. It had a calming effect on him. He gazed past the sand, past the shorelineoverthesea,observingthecolourtransitionsfromaquamarinetolight blue to deep blue as the water got deeper. In the distance, small fishing boats tetheredofftheshoreofthefishingtownofOistinsbobbedupanddowngently inthewaterasifnoddinginagreementintheirownprivateconversation.
Phillostconsciousvisionasheconversedinhismind.Hewouldhaveregretted it if he acted on his impulses just hours earlier. Not the kind of regret he felt abouthisencounterwithAmandaCallender,no.
Deep regret, the kind you feel when you get jail time or criminal charges. He recalled the encounter, the memory so vivid that it seemed to be happening all overagain.
*****
“Mr. Ferguson. Ms. Callender is here to see you.” Phil was in his office about twoweeksafterhisfirstappointmentwithMs.Callender.He’dhadtimetothink
aboutit.Heconcludedthatasfineasshewasandastitillatingasherbehaviour intheofficewas,shewasanuisance.HewastemptedtotellSandratosendher away,cancelorgivehersomeexcuseaboutwhyhecouldnotseeher.However,
hefeltthatthiswouldbeunprofessionalandheatleastowedheraface-to-face dismissal.Hesighedquietlytohimself.