Just thinking about him has my chest tightening with pain. I haven’t heard a word. Nothing. Tears prick my eyes. I know I didn’t want it, well I didn’t want to want it. But fuck, I do want him. I shake my head and try to calm myself down. My throat seems to close up every time I think about him. It physically hurts me. I can’t explain it. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I lean against the wall of my office and lay my head against the wall. I can’t fucking breathe in here.
After a moment I push open the door to go outside. It groans, and the bright light makes my eyes squint. But at least it’s fresh air. Or as fresh as it can be for a tiny ass alley between my restaurant and the gallery next door. I prop the door open with a brick and take a seat on the crates a few feet down, closer to the empty street and away from the dumpsters.
I wish I was over this by now. Over him. Everything seems so much harder since I left him. Exhaustion weighs down on me. But it’s not just physical; I’m emotionally overwhelmed.
“You alright, doll?” My body jumps at the sound of a deep, masculine voice in the silent alley. A small scream of shock forces its way out of my mouth and my hands fly up to hold it in. Dom. He walks toward me down the alley with a sexy ass smirk on his face.
My heart swells in my chest, and the tears flow. I can’t hold them back. Fuck my hormones. Fuck my emotions. I don’t care.
He takes another step toward me, and I fall into his embrace. My body feels weak; my wretched heart hurts. “Don’t cry, doll.” His strong arms hold me tight, and I want to pretend I can have this forever. Just the thought combined with his masculine smell and his soothing strokes on my back has my heart beating calmly and my body relaxing. It feels so right, so natural.
This is what I’ve needed.
“What’s wrong?” He pulls back slightly to look down at me. I don’t even lift my head; I keep my chin firmly against his chest and just breathe. My fingers dig into his back, holding him to me, but also fearing he’s going to leave. I’ve never felt so weak and vulnerable. I don’t know why I can’t stop, but I just don’t want to let go.
I shake my head against his chest and press my lips together. After a long moment, I answer, “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I want you, Becca.” I finally pull away and stare into his eyes. I want him too, but I can’t.
“You know I can’t.” I whisper the words. I know he understands. He has to understand.
“But you want to. I can make it right, doll. I’m just asking for a chance.”
I want to. He’s right about that. My breathing grows shallow. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. A chance. Just one chance. Could I risk that?
“Let’s make a bet,” he says with a grin.
I snort and reply, “I’m not stupid; you’re a bookie.”
“It can be anything you want, babe.” His smile softens, and he kisses my lips tenderly. “Just bet me.” His lips barely touch mine.
“What do you get if you win?” I ask him with clear hesitation in my voice.
His hand travels to my ass and squeezes as he says, “You know what I want.” I repress my moan and try to ignore how my core heats at his playful touch. I shake my head and bite down on my bottom lip to restrain my smile.
“Well, what do I get if I win?” I finally ask, looking up at him through my thick lashes.
My voice is breathy, and I wish it wasn’t. I wish I wasn’t so desperate for his comfort, but I am.
Dom’s hand cups my chin, and his thumb runs along my bottom lip. His body brushes against mine as he takes a step forward, backing me into the brick wall. “Exactly what you want.” My hands go to his chest, and I push him back slightly.
“Not here,” I whisper into his mouth as his hands push my blouse up my waist. The cool air feels so wrong against my heated skin.
“You don’t want me to fuck you against this wall, doll?” My pussy clenches with need, and moisture gathers in my core. Fuck yes I want it. “I need you, babe; it’s been too long since I’ve had my dirty girl.”
“I can’t.” I tilt my neck farther as he kisses down my throat to my shoulder. This is so bad, so wrong. But I want it. His breath, his kisses, his touch – they're everything I want. I want him to take me however he wants, whenever he wants. I want my back to scrape against the hard brick as he pounds into me. I can picture it so clearly. His hips keep me pinned with his hard-as-steel erection digging into my belly.
And then he stops. I nearly fall over from the loss of his touch. My body tilts forward, and I stumble in my heels and barely catch my footing. I hear Dom’s hard steps on the pavement, his body slamming into something. Another man. I hear them barrel into the wall and fall hard on the ground. Fuck! Someone saw us! Shit, shit, shit.
I adjust my shirt and try to see what’s going on. What the fuck is going on? I try to catch my breath.
“Dom, stop!” I yell out as I watch him push the man down on his stomach and twist his arm behind his back. I don’t know him. No one fucking comes out here. My body heats with anxiety.
Dom grips his arm and shoves it up in an unnatural way. The man’s face distorts with pain. Holy fuck! Fuck, he’s really hurting him. “Stop!” I screech with a hoarse voice. My hands cover my mouth when I spot the gun falling from the stranger’s grasp. Then I see what he’s wearing; leather gloves, all black. A gun complete with a silencer. My heart drops to my gut. He was going to shoot Dom. My body goes cold and numb.
My feet naturally take a step back, and my body bumps into the brick wall. I can’t turn away. I can’t stop watching. I feel paralyzed as Dom relentlessly smashes the man’s face into the concrete. The crushing sound of his bones crashing against the unforgiving ground makes me sick to my stomach. Oh my God. My breathing comes in short, shallow pants. I can’t. I can’t watch this.
“Not you! Wasn’t you!” The man tries to speak. His face is distorted, covered in dark red with more blood bubbling from his busted lips.
“Who? Tell me who.” Dom speaks hard and low into the man’s ears, but I hear it as though he screamed it.
“The girl.” The girl. Me.
“Who hired you?” Dom asks. My head goes dizzy watching the scene play out.
“Jack.” The man’s head sways, and then he takes in a hiss of breath as Dom pulls his arm back even further. And then Dom lifts the gun to the back of his head and pulls the trigger. The man falls forward, the raw bullet hole open and spilling blood onto the pavement.
My vision flashes before my eyes over and over again. No sound. No warning. He was alive, and now he’s dead.
My eyes widen as I watch Dom shove the man behind the dumpster. There’s blood everywhere. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Time passes in slow motion. It doesn’t feel real. This can’t be real.
The bang of the thin metal walls of the dumpster brings me back from the haze.
He’s dead. I stare at the limp body. He was going to kill me. But Dom killed him first.
My throat closes, and I struggle to breathe. “What are we going to do?” my voice croaks. He’s dead. Dom just shot him. “It was in self-defense.” My voice raises, “You were only defending me!”
“Hush, doll.” Dom walks to me with ease, gripping both of my arms at my side. “You don’t have to worry about anything. The next people who come down this alley will be my clean-up crew. I already sent them a message.”
What the fuck? I’m shaken and on edge. My body shivers as though I’m freezing. This is why we can’t be together. But if he hadn’t been here... My shaking hands cover my mouth. I would’ve died. I cry into my hands and barely realize Dom’s dragging me away.
Dom
That motherfucker! He’s dead. And if they knew, if any of them knew – they’re all fucking dead. I should’ve known better. My heart’s still beating frantically in my chest. My blood’s pumping with rage, but more than that, fear.
What if I hadn’t been there? I was going to wait till she was done with work, till she’d put Jax to bed. I didn’t want to ris
k her getting so damn worked up over me until she was alone. But then I saw her. I just had to go to her.
She was going through the motions; that’s all. Her beautiful plump lips never turned up into her gorgeous smile. Every time her head fell in the slightest I swore she was crying. How could I not go to her, knowing how hurt she was?
And it’s a good fucking thing I did.
My hands grip the steering wheel, making my knuckles turn white. He was going to kill her. He didn’t even fucking know her. A kill for pay. I saw him over her shoulder. Waiting. I fucking know who that bastard was, JD. He never asked questions, just got the job done. He wasn't family; he was an outside hire.
Well now he’s fucking dead.
My body tingles and then heats. I need to beat the piss out of something. Like I did De Luca and his crew. I need to do that to Jack. He’s probably at the bistro with my father.
Sitting together. Maybe my father knew. My heart crumples in agony, and I shake my head slightly in denial. My eyes peek at Becca, but thankfully she didn’t notice. I don’t want her to know how fucked up I am over this. That’s not the way it’s supposed to work.
My poor doll is staring out of the window wide-eyed. She hasn’t fucking moved. Hasn’t said a word. I wish she hadn’t heard that, that she was the one he was supposed to kill. I wish she didn’t know. It fucking kills me.
I grab my phone and dial my father. I can’t wait to ask him in person. I need to know. I have to know right fucking now. The thought that he’d do that kills me. I just saw him yesterday. I don’t understand why he’d do this to me. I shake my head again harder as the phone rings, and this time she sees. Her eyes are wide with worry.
“It’s gonna be alright, babe.” I breathe in deep and give her a forced smile. Her eyes fall, and she leans her head against the headrest, seemingly staring at nothing. Her lack of a response worries me.
“Dom. What’s going on?” Pops answers like it’s a normal call.
“You alone?” I want to make sure there’s no one around to hear. Just in case. I don’t want Jack to know I’m coming.
Pops talks over the phone to someone and the line is muffled for a moment, and then he comes back on and says, “All clear, Dom. What’s going on?”
I swallow the lump in my throat and push the words through, “Did you know?” That’s really what it comes down to. It’s what I need to know.
I hear Pops move around on the other line, and then he speaks lower. “Dom, what’s wrong? Where are you?” I stay silent for a moment and take in another deep breath. “You alright, Dom? You need something?”
“Did you know about the time on her?” Time is code for hit. The code varies, but right now that’s what it means. His questions and his tone make me believe he didn’t, but I want to hear him say it. I look at Becca with sad eyes; she’s confused for a moment, and then tears fall down her cheeks and she quickly wipes them away. I know she understands.
“On your girl?” The sadness in his voice is mixed with disbelief. Then his anger comes through. “We’ll find them, Dom.”
“I know who.” The callous words leave my lips without permission. I grind my teeth, waiting for him to ask.
“Who? We’ll collect now.” There’s a moment of silence. “Is-” He pauses, and it's quiet for a second. “Is she alright, Dom?”
“Yeah. I was there.”
“She’s good?” The hope in his voice relaxes every doubt I had.
“Yeah, I got her.”
“Thank fuck. Dom, you are one lucky son of a bitch. You know that?” I can hear the relief in his voice, but still there’s pain.
“You all at the bistro now?” I ask.
“We’re here, Dom. We’ll get 'em.”
“It was Jack.” My father’s silent. It fucking kills me to say it. We grew up with him. He was always there. The last few years, not so much. But growing up, he was like a second father to me and Vince. Tears prick at my eyes. I feel so fucking betrayed.
“Are you sure?” Pops' voice is deadly and low.
“That’s what the fucker said. It was him.” I straighten in my seat and brush it off as best I can. It’s not the first time someone in the family has done some stupid shit. But it’s the first time it’s been directed at me.
“Jack’s here. I’ll question him and take care of it.” I shake my head. That’s not good enough.
“I wanna see him. I wanna look him in the eyes and know why.”
“You know why, Dom; she knows a lot of shit.” Before I can respond, he adds, “Doesn’t make it right in the least. He had his orders. He’ll pay the price. I can’t guarantee I’m gonna wait for you, Dom.”
“I gotta get her home first.” I can’t bring her there.
“I know. You go take care of her.”
“I wanna be there,” I say one more time. I feel like he’s not going to listen. Like he’s gonna take him out himself.
“I understand. But I can’t give you that right now, Dom. Just get her home and safe, and then call me. If I can, I’ll come over.”
I nod and say, “Alright,” and hang up and try to relax somewhat. But I can’t. I can’t relax. A kill is a kill. It fucking sucks, and I’ve seen it over and over again. This one is different. This one’s personal. That fucker was going to kill my girl. And Jack arranged it.
A long moment passes with silence. Jack’s a dead man, and my Becca’s safe. That’s what matters.
“Babe, we’re going to get through this.” I reach across the console and grab her hand. I rub soothing circles on her soft skin. She keeps alternating between looking at me and out the window. I can tell she’s scared, but other than that I have no idea what’s going on in her head.
“The piece of shit that called the hit had no right.” I try to keep her gaze, but she doesn’t hold it. “Babe, you’re safe. No one’s ever going to hurt you again.”
“You said that before.” She barely speaks her words, and it shreds me. 'Cause it’s true.
I wanted to go there and win her heart back with the promise of safety. And look what fucking happened. “It’s over. I promise, everything will be fine, doll.” Raising her small hand to my lips, I plant a small kiss on her tender wrist.
Her beautiful hazel eyes find mine, but all I can see in them is disbelief.
Becca
“Where is he?” Dom’s furious. His corded muscles flex, and his voice echoes in the foyer. “You brought him here?” he asks incredulously as he slams the door. My body jumps from the loud bang. I don’t even know how I got here. I feel like I just woke up from a dark clouded haze.
“Calm down, I wouldn’t bring him to your home.” His father’s voice is calm, but it doesn’t match his appearance.
I’m frozen at the door. I’ve only known this man for a week, and already two people have tried to kill me. One to get back at him, and one to protect him. My limbs feel limp and weak. The reality weighs heavy on me.
I wanted him. I was willing to try, to give it a chance like he asked.
“I just wanted to tell your Becca that she has nothing to worry about, regardless of whatever happens between you two.” Although Dante’s talking to Dom, his eyes are on me. He’s obviously concerned and I suppose that’s nice of him, but it just makes me feel uncomfortable.
I take in a staggered inhale and try to walk to them in the center of the foyer, but I can’t. My feet are planted firmly in place. I’m stuck. Everything’s so fucked.
His father takes heavy steps toward me, eating up the space between us. He’s dressed in a suit with no tie. He looks distinguished, like a CEO. Nothing like the mob boss he is. “Everything’s alright now. I promise you, no harm will come your way.”
“Is he dead?” The question falls out of my mouth. I want to know. I need to know. I feel like there’s a target on my back.
His eyes dart to Dom, and Dom gives a quick nod. “He will be.”
“I’m gonna make him pay, doll.” Dom’s voice is hard and determined.
Make him pay. The images flash before me. The bullet hole, his bloodied face. I look away and cross my arms.
I change my mind.
I don’t want to hear. I get it now. I understand why they keep their women out of it. I want out of it. I can’t handle this shit. My mind keeps replaying the vision of the man’s head smashing against the ground and falling limp with a bullet hole in the back of his skull. My body heats, and I feel faint. I swallow thickly and put my hand on my forehead.
I’m not okay. Ice pricks my skin, and my vision goes fuzzy.
“She’s going into shock.”
I shake my head. “I’m fine.” Dom mumbles something under his breath, but I don’t hear it.
He lifts me in his arms and carries me away. I don’t even try to protest. “Just relax, babe; I got you.”
I feel so fucking groggy. I rub my eyes and sit up in Dom’s bed. Fuck, my head is killing me. I rub my temples as the pain radiates.
I rub my eyes and take a look around, and then I remember. My fists grip the sheets, and I sit up straighter with wide eyes. Dom. I need Dom.
“Relax, doll. I’m here.” Dom walks into the room with a glass of water in one hand. “How are you feeling?”
“I don’t know.” I feel like shit. Everything feels like shit. I take the glass of water and take a sip, and then another. I greedily drain it, feeling a million times better.
He sits on the edge of the bed with his body turned toward me as I tap my nail against the glass.
“I can’t do this, Dom. I can’t run and hide. I can’t put Jax through this shit.” It physically hurts to say the words, but it’s true. I need to end this.
“Tough, you need me now.” His hard gaze dares me to disagree.
“That’s not fair.” My voice breaks.
“Life’s not fair, babe.”
“You got me into this shit, and now I can’t leave.” I shake my head and cover my face with my hands.
“That shit is over and done with.” He grips my wrists and wraps my arms around his neck and pulls me into his lap. “That’s not why you need me. You fucking love me, doll. You need me to love you, too.”
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