by Max Walker
Who knew this was exactly what Crow needed? Ethan’s dick in his mouth and he was calm as a fucking button. All he was focused on was pleasing his man, making him writhe on the bed as he slobbered on his dick.
He kept going for a while longer, savoring it all, coming up for breath to then move down and pop one of Ethan’s balls into his mouth. This had Ethan’s toes curling as Crow played with his balls, licking the sensitive flesh just underneath, causing Ethan to buck up in pleasure.
“I want to be in you,” Crow said, kissing his way back up to Ethan, who moaned a ‘yes’ in response as Crow’s dick rubbed against his ass, pushing his balls up. He reached over and grabbed a condom from the nightstand. Their lips locked, moans and grunts mixed, Ethan was pushing his hips off the bed, rubbing his ass on Crow.
It was so fucking hot, Crow knew he wasn’t going to last long. He looked down and held his cock down at the base as he pressed the head against Ethan’s pink hole. Ethan was holding his ass open for Crow, which drove him completely fucking nuts. The view was almost enough to undo him.
He looked back at Ethan’s piercing sapphire blue eyes as he pushed in past his tight entrance. Ethan gasped as he adjusted to Crow, who continued to push a little deeper. He pulled back before sinking a little more. The warmth and tightness that surrounded him was beyond words kind of good. It was the kind of thing that inspired an artist to write a Grammy winning record and paint a fucking Mona Lisa type masterpiece all in one night. It felt that fucking good.
He pushed in deeper, feeling the warmth envelope him entirely. He shut his eyes and stayed there for a moment, relishing in the feeling, hearing Ethan’s breaths and feeling his channel tighten around him. Crow pulled back and then thrust in deep, sinking his cock into Ethan until his balls were slapping against Ethan’s ass. He was going harder now, drawing whimpers of pleasure from Ethan. It was one of the hottest sounds a grown man could make, and Crow didn’t want it to end. He kept going, reaching down and grabbing Ethan’s hard cock as he continued to fuck him. Ethan’s eyes were rolling back. His hands grabbed fistfuls of the sheet. Both of the men were getting close. The edge was near.
A few more deep thrusts. A few more groans. A few more whimpers.
“Fuck, you’re going to make me come,” Crow growled, still pounding into Ethan.
“Do it,” Ethan begged. His own orgasm took over as Ethan’s cock throbbed in Crow’s grip, shooting out ropes of comes. The sight and sensation combined to throw Crow off the highest ledge he had ever climbed. Crow’s orgasm rocked through his every muscle as he pulled out and ripped off the condom, squirting all over Ethan, some of it getting on his chin, and turning him into an even bigger sexy mess.
“Wow,” Ethan said with a chuckle. “I’m… a mess.”
“You’re welcome,” Crow toyed, smiling as he came down for a kiss. “It’s not a bad look for you if I’m being honest.”
“What? Being covered in come?” Ethan smirked. “Thank you, I’m thinking of wearing this look out to one of our dates.”
“You can rock it,” Crow joked, laughing and feeling like his body had turned into play-doh in seconds flat. With their bodies spent, Crow managed to roll out of bed and grabbed a soft white towel from the closet. The bus was equipped with a shower, but it was outside and small and also limited use. He did have a separate bathroom with a sink in his bedroom though, so he wet the towel with warm water and used that to clean up. Ethan’s mess was a little more intense, so he hopped in the shower for a few quick minutes before coming back.
By the time the crawled back into bed and nestled up next to each other, Crow’s entire universe felt fuzzy. Like a soft blanket that he could reach out and wrap around him, tighter and tighter. He felt so safe, with Ethan’s arm thrown across his side, his firm chest pressed against his back, his soft cock tucked against Crow’s ass, the heat that came off of Ethan and warmed Crow. Everything about it felt so right. Nothing was out of place. Everything right where it needed to be. He took a deep breath, held it, found his center, and exhaled, feeling happier than he had ever been. His tour was coming to a close and he felt like his music had been pushed to an entirely new level, but even beyond that, he connected with his soul mate that first night at the bar. He was never going to forget the feeling he got when he looked out into the crowd and connected with Ethan’s steely gaze. Just like he’ll never forget the nights they spent up laughing together, watching dumb YouTube videos until they fell asleep. Or like how he’ll never forget the first time he pushed inside of Ethan, deep and passionate and raw and everything Crow ever fucking wanted. He’ll never forget being one with Ethan, and he knew he was always going to want it.
“You feel so good in my arms,” Ethan said.
“I was just thinking about how good it feels to be in your arms,” Crow said into the dark room. The bus sped on down the highway. They were supposed to be crossing over into North Carolina, on their way to it’s Southern cousin.
“Ok, good, I was scared my arm was too heavy or something. Your breathing got funny.”
Crow chuckled. “I forgot you were a doctor for a second. It’s like you’re hyperaware of my body.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Ethan asked mischievously, pushing his hips forward a little.
“Not in the slightest,” Crow said, loving how Ethan’s chubby dick felt against him. He felt his own cock start waking up again, even though he thought he was spent from their last fuck. “That was just me doing a breathing exercise some yoga teacher had me do once. It was for one of Red’s movies. About finding your center and really reveling in it, kind of visualizing the air as a river going through you, and then replacing that thought with a river of all the happy things going on in your life. I don’t know, when we had tried it back then, there wasn’t really all that much in my life I could be happy about. I was still working as an assistant and living in the closet. I put up a smiling face, but that wasn’t always the case. And I could never really picture the river, so I thought it was all just dumb. It didn’t work for me.”
Ethan pressed his lips to the back of Crow’s head. “And now?”
“Do I see the river?”
“Mhmm.”
“I see a whole damn ocean,” Crow said. He rolled over, facing Ethan now. “An ocean of happiness. An ocean full of love. How can I not? Your eyes alone are like little windows over the calmest ocean ever. So blue. And your heart, it’s so damn big. You make me laugh and you’re also incredibly intelligent. And, let’s not forget,” Crow’s hand slipped down between them, running over Ethan’s soft dark pubes, cupping his cock, giving a gentle squeeze, “you’re also crazy sexy and your heart isn’t exactly the biggest thing about you. How can I not be happy?”
Ethan was grinning. The room was dark, lit only by the passing yellow highway lights outside that broke in though the sides of the thick brown curtains. But Ethan was definitely grinning. Crow could see that. Hell, he could practically feel it. Ethan’s smile was so damn special, it filled a room and it made Crow’s heart skip a beat every damn time. “Well let’s hope my cock isn’t bigger than my heart because we’d both be having problems.”
Crow laughed, feeling that ocean of happiness rise up inside him, the tide swelling. “Ok fine, second biggest thing… well, wait, I think a penis is longer than a heart, right? Isn’t a heart the size of my fist.”
Now Ethan was laughing. “About the size, yeah, but I guess I’m thinking girth. My cock isn’t exactly fist-sized either.”
“You’re right, you’re right… thank god.” They were both laughing. “I can’t believe I just had a scientific discussion about which is bigger, a heart or a dick.”
Ethan pushed across the distance between them, catching them both in a smiling kiss. Their lips were curled at the corners as their tongues danced, their heads lifting from the pillows so that they could work the angles. It was soft and slow. Two naked men laying in the dark, displaying their intense attraction and complete devotion to each other with soft lips bites a
nd tongue swirls, in ways only the other would ever know or feel.
They kissed for another eternity. Crow pulled back for a breath, his eyes finding Ethan’s in the passing flashes of light. Blue. So… damn…
“Blue,” Crow said in a low voice.
Ethan winced. It was hard to see in the low light, but Crow didn’t miss it. “Has anyone ever called you that?” Crow asked, seeing the turmoil that flashed for a second in the calm seas of Ethan’s eyes. Something that told him there was a past linked with that name.
“Adam,” Ethan confessed. His voice was tight, but he wasn’t drawing away either. There were none of the walls that Ethan had previously fortified and built around him. Crow sensed an openness. “He called me Blue from the get. From the day I met him, sitting in the same exact booth that you and I met in.”
24 Ethan Winter
Ethan felt a second of sadness swell up inside him before it was tamped down, replaced by an acceptance that soon made way for the happiness Crow gave him. He knew he would never stop feeling that pang of pain in his chest whenever something reminded him of Adam, but he also knew he couldn’t be a slave to it either. Adam would have hated that. And so Ethan took a breath and found strength in the man laying next to him, their bodies only inches apart, their legs tangled together at the ankles, their feet lazily playing with the other.
“I met him at that bar in Santa Monica, the one you had your opening night at. I think that’s why I started going back to it a few months ago. It felt like I was moving on without leaving him behind. I don’t know, it was weird.” Crow shook his head, ready to interject, but Ethan kept going. “There’s a palm tree etched into the corner of the table we were sitting at. He got a tattoo of it on his side. Said it symbolized his move to Los Angeles and his meeting the love of his life. I was supposed to get a similar tattoo but never got to before the accident. And then I was just torn up for so fucking long… And then you showed up, and suddenly nothing made sense anymore. I was used to living with nothing much to look forward to. And yeah, that sounds really fucking shitty —and in hindsight, it definitely is — but back then, it was my reality, my normal. But the moment you started singing, I felt something shift. It was like a reminder of everything I had been denying myself. Happiness, thrill, bliss. All of it. And then we talked, and we clicked, and fuck did I want to see you again. But I thought that I wasn’t, and I felt myself going back into my routine. Sinking back down to the part of myself that forgot what joy felt like. Tasted like. Sounded like.” Ethan’s thumb rubbed Crow’s cheek, feeling the slight stubble. “And then I got booked onto this tour and the rest is history.”
“Jesus, Ethan,” Crow’s eyes were filled with a sense of sadness. “I never want you to lose this happiness again. Your smile is too big, your eyes too bright. I’m swearing, right here and right now, that I will keep on singing as long as I physically can as long as it puts a smile on your face.”
“And I’ll keep listening until I can’t anymore.”
Crow’s eyes searched Ethan’s. “How long were you both together, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Not at all,” Ethan said. He actually appreciated Crow’s question. He never wanted Adam to be forgotten, and the only way that was going to happen was by talking about him. It helped Ethan obtain a sense of peace and didn’t make it feel like it was some big fucked-up secret between him and Crow. “We met two years before we got engaged. He had just moved to Los Angeles from Portland and was going out by himself so he could make friends. He wanted to be a producer. He had an eye for talent, that was for sure.”
“He sounded like a great guy.”
“He was,” Ethan said. He hadn’t talked this much about Adam to anyone. It felt therapeutic in a way. Like sharing this wonderful person who had made such an impact on his life was somehow setting him free. Ethan felt his eyes water but no tears flowed. He was filled with emotion, and of course sadness was there, but there was an overwhelming happiness that was mostly in part because Crow was the one listening to him speak. He could feel his warmth under the sheets, see he eyes glow with the passing lights.
Ethan felt lifted. He was somewhere above the clouds. He was sure he would never have felt like this again, not after Adam. Ethan moved for a kiss, goosebumps spreading down his back. The good kind. The warm kind, that send a soft desire pulsing through you.
“I love you,” Ethan said, the words flowing like a river.
“I love you, too,” Crow said, his soft breath caressing Ethan’s lips. They were so close, in so many different ways. The night was late but their life together was just beginning. Ethan felt his heart fill with that familiar warmth that used to hug him to sleep and wake him up as one of the happiest people on earth.
“So now you definitely have to write a song about me,” Ethan toyed, running a thumb over Crow’s soft lips.
“I have an entire library of songs about you already.”
“You do?”
“Mhmm,” Crow answered mischievously. “You’ve been a storm of inspiration. Every time I get a minute alone, I’m writing. I think I have an entire album by now.”
“That’s incredible,” Ethan said, “and not even because the songs are about me. I just love how talented and dedicated you are to your music. I always admired people who could sing and write, and you can do both so damn well. How are you even real?”
“I guess this is the moment I tell you I’m actually an android hell-bent on taking over this world.”
“I knew it.”
“You did?”
“Yeah,” Ethan said, smiling playfully as they kissed. “There’s no way a regular human can be as talented and smart and funny. You’re also one of the sexiest androids ever.”
“Thank you,” Crow said, mimicking a classic robot voice.
They both broke down into laughs and kisses and tangled limbs.
25 Crow Kensworth
It was midday, Crow and Ethan were lounging naked in the bedroom as the bus rolled on through Pennsylvania on the way to New York. The blinds were half shut, letting them see out the darkly tinted windows at the vast countryside they were cutting a path through. They had planned a day filled with Netflix and chill (emphasis on the chill part). Crow couldn’t have been happier. It was paradise. He could have been told he’d just won a million dollars and still not feel as happy as he did just laying naked in his man’s arms, watching old Friends episodes and stealing kisses whenever he felt like it.
“Wait, I don’t think we’ve even discussed this yet,” Crow said, propping himself up on an elbow and pausing the episode. “Who’s your favorite friend?”
“Uh oh,” Ethan said. “This could be a deal breaker, couldn’t it?”
Crow arched an eyebrow. “We’ll see.”
“Phoebe, obviously.”
Crow nodded, his lips pursed. “Ok, ok, I can respect that.”
“What?! You mean she’s not yours?” Ethan sat up on the bed, looking more shocked than Crow’s grandmother when she found out he was gay. He couldn’t hold the face as long as she could though, his breaking down into a smile.
“I’d have to throw my vote in for Rachel.”
Ethan shook his head. “You think you know someone.”
The phone rang from the bedside table. Crow leaned over Ethan, stealing a kiss from him on his way, and grabbed it. The number was unknown. Crow considered silencing it and getting back to cuddling with a very handsome and very naked Ethan, but he pressed answer anyway. It could have been the police calling to say they found something.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Crow! This is Deena, the manager over at The Raging Saddle.”
“Oh, hey, Deena. Listen, thanks for understanding about canceling the show. Angela said you offered the deposit back but we felt terrible about taking it.”
“Don’t even worry about it. I was just calling to see how you’re feeling?”
Crow took a breath. Ethan was looking at him with a questioning glint in those blue eyes of his.
“Better,” Crow answered. “A little shaken but every day is getting better.”
“Ok good. Angela scared me a little when she was talking to me.”
“I can’t even imagine what you must have felt.” Crow rubbed his brows with his fingers. “It was your venue.”
“Don’t even think about me. You’re the one going through it.” A child’s voice could be heard in the background, asking for the remote control. “Sorry, the little guy is begging to change my Bones marathon.”
“Turning him into a detective?”
“He’s says he wants to be a veterinarian, so fingers crossed.”
“I’m rooting for him,” Crow said with a chuckle. “Thanks again for calling, you really didn’t have to.”
“I just got a little nervous, that’s all. My husband actually just went through the same thing.”
“He did?” Crow sat up straighter in bed. Maybe this was somehow connected to his situation.
“Oh yeah.” Deena huffed on the other end of the phone. “Worst week of our lives.”
“What happened? Did they find the stalker?”
Silence on the phone. “Stalker? No, no, my husband came down with a terrible strain of the flu… what do you mean stalker?”
“A flu?” Crow was thoroughly confused. Ethan could probably read it on his scrunched up facial expression. Ethan sat up in bed, putting a hand on Crow’s thigh, searching his eyes for an answer to what was going on.
“Yeah… Angela said you had caught the same thing. She told me there was no way you’d be able to perform.”