by Fox Brison
If I’d have been there it would probably have been a different matter - we’d have capsized or ended up in Patagonia. I really was a bad luck charm!
The three of them returned later, ruddy faced and exhausted, with several glistening fresh fish hanging triumphantly from their line. Malcom appeared a touch queasy, but Jamie, Jamie who looked like the world was coming to an end, Jamie who woke through the night crying for his Mam, Jamie who barely touched his favourite breakfast of all time (choco hoops with chocolate milk and chocolate sprinkles) Jamie looked like he had found the answer to all of life’s problems.
Oh you’re good, Ms Jeffries, you are very good.
She winked and handed me the line which I gingerly held two feet in front of me. If I could have held it further away I would have, unfortunately that was the full length of my arm. I swiftly threw them into the sink and she chuckled when I told her acerbically, “You caught ‘em Nat, you clean ‘em.” So she did and the boys wolfed down homemade fish and chips – I could now add gourmet chef and nanny to Natalie’s ever growing list of attributes.
“So what time are we expecting the gruesome twosome?” she asked and handed me a plate to dry.
“I said about 7.30. Jamie and Malky have had an exciting day of fresh sea air and fishing, so they should be out for the count by then.” I smiled, hearing the two of them playing wallie against the gable end, the leather football smacking hard against the bricks.
“Great, that should give me plenty of time to go home and get cleaned up. I made the dessert this morning, just need to get it from Mam’s fridge and pray my Dad didn’t think it was for him!”
“Why don’t you bring some bits with you when you come back?” Natalie paused for barely a second, before wiping the ketchup from Malcom’s plate. Okay, so I wasn’t asking her to U-Haul, still it made me nervous she’d think that’s where we were headed. “It would save you having to run back and forth, I’m thinking of your knee. You also said you wanted an early start again tomorrow, so I thought you could maybe, erm, stay over, or something.” Good cover.
Not.
“If you don’t mind, it would make things easier.” And that was that, no muss, no fuss, and definitely no drama. We’d just taken a pretty huge step in our relationship, but it felt as natural as a flower setting seed.
***
Four and a half hours later, Andy, Sara, Natalie and I were finished dinner and settled in the living room listening to Adele’s new album which I’d finally gotten around to downloading that morning. Andy and Sara commandeered the sofa, so Natalie took the lone chair and I sat by her feet on the floor. I knew how it looked but I didn’t care, I’d never been this happy. I’d never been so comfortable and content with another person that it stopped me from worrying what other people thought. When I was with Natalie I felt free. Despite what was happening with Rob and Angie and my Dad, despite the uncertainty of the future, right now this place with this woman was where I was meant to be.
She ran her thumb across the back of my neck and I let my head fall backwards.
I couldn’t tell how Sara was feeling about it all. One minute I thought she believed it to be a good thing, her best friend and little sister. Then the next, when I caught the concern and confusion skittering across her forehead, I wasn’t so sure. “I feel like Ross in Friends, you know, when he first sees Chandler and Monica?” Sara interrupted with an answer to my musing.
Huh? “What, when he screams no, get off my sister or something and the bloke from the museum thinks he’s lost it?” I asked warily.
“Aye, but I was thinking more like when he finally confronts them and Chandler says he loves Monica and Ross is all like… my best friend and little sister in his sappy voice. That’s how I feel right now.” Sara’s acceptance of us as a couple was a big hurdle that had been cleared and I smiled in relief. “So how long are James and Malcom staying?” Sara kept her voice quiet. She didn’t want to chance them waking and overhearing us discussing their parents and grandad.
“Until Rob and Ange have a proper rest, maybe a week, depends on how things go with the new nurse,” I said. “Thank God it’s the school holidays.”
“What about your research at the cathedral?” Andy asked.
Crap! I’d forgotten about that. “I’ll take them with me.” It seemed the easiest and most logical answer, even though it was the hardest and most complicated way of dealing with the situation.
“You can’t have them sit in a dusty cathedral staring at Cuthbert’s tomb,” Sara scolded. “They could stay with us.” She said it happily. Sara loved solving other people’s problems, but unfortunately this time she didn’t have the solution.
“Thanks for the offer, really, but I couldn’t leave them. Jamie in particular is struggling. I need to be with him, just in case.”
“When are you going?” Natalie asked, her fingers now entwined in my hair.
“Wednesday. I really want to be in and out of there by the weekend.”
“I could come with you,” she offered. “I’d like to see where you work.” I hugged my knees to my chest. Could this woman be any more perfect? “Besides, I have to see my doctor in Newcastle. I could kill two birds.”
“Oh I couldn’t ask you to do that,” I prevaricated, seeking time to find a nice way of saying no. I knew she was expecting the results of more tests, and I didn’t want to heap added pressure on her of having to put on a brave face for Jamie and Malcom should the news not be positive.
“You’re not asking, I’m offering.” There it was. The voice. I would walk on broken glass to hear that voice. I would do anything that voice demanded.
“Okay,” I agreed, dreamily. I rubbed her calf and nestled into her legs.
“Ahem,” Andy interrupted with a chuckle. I started and spilt my wine. “On that note, I think I’m going to drag this one away.” He stood and pulled his wife to her feet.
“One more for the road?” Natalie asked.
“Nah, I’m just nicely chilled,” Sara said. “Besides, I think my husband has plans for me.”
“Yes, I certainly do,” Andy waggled his eyebrows. I loved Andy. We saw eye to eye on most things - literally because he was the same height as me.
Natalie and I stood at the door, her arm around my shoulder, my arm around her waist, and we watched Andy’s torch bobbing in the darkness. I snuggled into her warm body, and stared into the clear night sky.
“I love it here,” I whispered. And I did. I’d struggled my whole life with poor self-esteem and with a past that slapped my confidence into submission. But I truly liked the Skye that I was becoming here on Holy Island. Island Skye had less issues, was stronger and was actually managing to foster a loving relationship.
“Me too,” Natalie bent down and kissed me. I groaned, wanting it to go much further, my arousal only seconds away whenever she kissed me, but with just the one bedroom and two children under the age of nine mere feet away, the only thing deepening was the hole I was digging for myself. Natalie stepped back and we headed for the living room and the sofa. Her lips curved into a wicked grin before her tongue traced my lips and I opened up for her; she demanded not only entrance but ownership of my mouth.
It was so hot.
I’d never been completely owned like this before, my heart, my mind, my body. I climbed onto her lap, straddling her, our mouths magnetically held together. She was my north, I was her south and the attraction was undeniably strong. I pulled her t-shirt over her head and took a second to lean back and marvel at the view, before running my hands down her sides and across her stomach. I’d dreamed about this moment and it didn’t disappoint. Natalie moaned quietly at my touch; her strong hands cradled my buttocks and she lifted me against her body. Slowly, she nibbled and licked her way across my jaw towards my neck and I sat up higher, encouraging her lips to travel lower, my hips rocking rhythmically with her touch.
“Mam!” Jamie’s cry pierced the sexual ether that surrounded us and I found myself on the floor. Natalie had dro
pped me quicker than a hot spud when she’d heard Jamie’s plaintive wail. As I jumped up and headed towards the bedroom, shaking my head and rubbing my bottom, she was frantically putting her top back on. She’d gone from looking like a cat who’d got the cream to one who’d just seen her own reflection! I glanced back over my shoulder, in part to make sure she wasn’t making a dash for the front door, and another bigger one to make sure she wasn’t a dream. Now fully clothed she gave me a sudden smile, a beaming joyful grin; she was the match, my body the kindling, and right now it was on fire.
Jamie was shaking when I got to the side of his bed, and crawling in beside him I held him tight. He wasn’t a stupid boy, in fact he was the complete opposite. He was also incredibly sensitive (not a sissy pooftah like my father taunted, but a loving and nurturing little lad) and he knew there was more was going on with his family than he’d been told.
Thus the nightmares and sobbing.
Natalie appeared in the doorway and Malcom, who was wakened by his brother’s anguished cry, reached out towards her. She didn’t hesitate, climbing in the other side and holding him tight to her chest.
Right then we shared another moment.
She looked into my eyes, my precious nephews sandwiched between us, and I knew I was in love with her, knew without a shadow of a doubt that she held my heart as lovingly as she held the two young children who were such a part of me. She smiled, recognising the moment too.
“Are Mam and Dad getting a divorce like Karl’s?” Jamie’s small voice asked after a short time.
“No, not at all,” I comforted him.
“But they were shouting at each other. And I heard Mam say she couldn’t stand it anymore. Karl said that his Mam and Dad were always shouting.”
“What’s a deevoss?” Malcom asked, struggling over the unusual word. Natalie kissed the top of his head.
“Oh Jamie,” I hugged my eldest nephew tight, “sweetie, sometimes people argue. Sometimes they say things they don’t always mean, but your Mam and Dad love you and Malcom and each other very much. You’ve nothing to worry about, I promise you.”
“The shouting only started when Grandad moved in,” Jamie said knowledgeably, wise beyond his tender years. “I don’t think Mam likes what he says sometimes… sometimes…” his little breath hitched, “sometimes he isn’t very nice.” I was at a loss at how to respond to the astute observations of my eight year old nephew. “He’s going to heaven, isn’t he?” The statement was delivered with a forthrightness that was quite shocking; however, the continuing tremors in his little body betrayed the truth of his acceptance.
“Jamie everyone dies. We don’t know when and we don’t know how most of the time. But if your grandad does go to heaven, he won’t be leaving you because he will always be here,” I touched his head, “and here,” I touched his heart. “And I can promise he loves you very much.” I hoped I hadn’t said too much, but he had questions that needed answering. The truth shall set you free is a phrase often used, yet rarely meant.
Tonight it meant something
“I have an idea,” Natalie said. After what had just been discussed no-one looked like they were going to get back to sleep anytime soon. “It’s a beautiful night, who wants to go down to the beach? We could light a fire and toast some marshmallows?”
“I don’t have any marshmallows.” I thought the idea was great and was a little disappointed until Natalie said,
“You don’t but I do.”
Seriously, could this woman be any more perfect?
Chapter 24
Skye
The night was clear, but cold, and the sky provided the perfect backdrop for the huge fire Natalie and the boys built. Seriously, this bonfire would have eclipsed the one old Guido Fawkes was thrust upon.
One thing I loved about being on the island was the lack of traffic sounds. Even in the small city of Durham you heard cars and buses at all times of the day and night. But not here. Here the waves lapping the shore, a gentle swish that lulled us as much as rocking in a cradle would have, was the only sound you could hear above your own heartbeat.
Several toasted marshmallows and a cup of hot chocolate later, the boys were growing drowsy but I was in no rush to return to the cottage, it was just too perfect, too relaxing. Burrowing my hands in the cold sand, I heard Natalie begin to tell a story about Viking raids and I listened with half an ear.
Then I frowned.
Okay, so I know I’m a bit anal, but hey, I am a history teacher. So every now and again I chipped in to correct her historical inaccuracies.
Which kind of pissed her off a little, I think.
I couldn’t see her face clearly, but her body language said it all and I realised that I was yet again torpedoing a relationship before it had even set sail on the merry ocean of love. I bit my bottom lip and looked at the sand and heard her chuckle. She realised that I realised…
By the end of the story, which to be fair was a right rollicking ride, Jamie and Malky were both shattered and it wouldn’t be long before the sandman won the battle. Natalie took Jamie and I carried Malky back to the cottage.
“Don’t leave Nat!” Jamie said sleepily as she laid him on the bed.
“I won’t. I’ll be right here all night. So will your Aunty Skye. We love you little man.” We all snuggled in together and Jamie relaxed into my arms. He drifted off to sleep, Natalie telling him another story, this one a funny tale about a Viking who was tricked by a monk into sailing him down the coast where he ran aground on some salt flats. I too fell asleep to her mellifluous tone and her sparkling eyes.
Chapter 25
Skye
The morning began early in the cottage – very early, far too early for my liking, but kids have a habit of upsetting your schedule. I was now at five hundred reasons for not having children, although when the curly headed two were sound asleep like angels, or when they crawled onto my lap and gave me a hug… those moments erased every misgiving I could muster. I left them in Nat’s capable hands and headed out to meet Sara who was also child free.
“So you slept with Natalie?” I almost spat my coffee everywhere. ‘Island Teas’ was Mrs Jeffries pride and joy, she’d owned it for as long as I could remember, and I’m sure she wouldn’t have appreciated me spraying black coffee all over her pristine snow white tablecloth.
“Sara!”
“What?” she asked, innocently.
My eyes darted nervously about the room. It wasn’t busy, only a couple of Japanese tourists, guests at the Jeffries’ B&B, eating a full English over by the counter. “We slept in the same bed, yes,” I said quietly, should anyone overhear and misinterpret the previous night’s events. I was about to explain further when I flinched and knocked over my mug. Damn. I thought Mrs Jeffries was out back when Sara asked her rather leading question.
But clearly she’d been lurking within earshot.
“You slept with my Natalie?” She tutted when she saw the mess my coffee was making as it formed a meandering ribbon of black flowing slowly towards the edge of the table.
“Not exactly.” By now we even had the attention of the Japanese tourists and Tommy Morton who’d come in via the kitchen at the side.
“How do you not exactly sleep with someone?” Tommy asked, stridently, eagerly and with a touch too much pleasure for my liking. He really was an arse. “Ohhh…” he allowed the oh of understanding to stretch for an eternity. “I see.” He then had the audacity to wink. “So you shared a bed with my favourite cousin and yet you didn’t sleep with her.”
“Thanks, Tommy, and what am I, chopped liver?” Sara hit his arm.
“That’s not what I meant!” I protested.
“So what did you mean?” Sara was enjoying this as much as Tommy.
“Yes, what did you mean?” Mrs Jeffries echoed her daughter’s laughing tones.
“I hate you all, you know that, don’t you?” I didn’t and yes, they knew it. “When did you see Natalie?” I kept my tone even, disinterested almost.
/>
“When she came by for breakfast. She’s not too fond of toast and cereal.” Mrs Jeffries explained. “She has a high metabolism and with her exercise regime she needs a high protein diet…” she frowned. “Or is it high carbohydrate diet? Oh I don’t know, it changes every week.”
“Yes, she made her opinion quite clear when I gave her the choices for brekker this morning,” I smiled. I smiled a lot whenever I thought of Natalie Jeffries.
Three voices melded into one long, “Awww…”
Mrs Jeffries waved to the two tourists who were bowing towards her, matching grins and oriental thank-yous on an infinite loop. “I’m pleased.” She patted me on my shoulder and bustled back to the kitchen, shooing a reluctant Tommy ahead of her. The door swished open and then closed, the voices in the kitchen languishing to a distant hum.
“She is you know.” I cocked an eyebrow towards Sara in question. “Mam. She would love for you two to settle down together.” Sara drained the last of her coffee.
“It’s early days,” I said.
“But you love her.”
I could have lied, I could have hedged, but I didn’t. “Yes.” It was the first time I’d said it aloud and like when I answered my nephew the night before, saying the truth was freeing.
“So Durham on Wednesday?” she changed tack; there wasn’t much more that could be said.
“Aye. The tide will be out late afternoon, so we’ll get back to my place in the city before it gets dark.” I was obsessed with tide-times now. I’d had a few nightmares, not that I shared them with anyone, of the moment when I realised Stacy and I weren’t going to make it across the causeway. It had been terrifying. The water was almost silent and broodingly dark, a skilled assassin that crept upon you, giving no chance of escape. I shivered. “I should be just about ready for the next stage of my research by then. Thankfully Natalie is taking the boys fishing again today, so it’s giving me a few hours to work. I wanted to give Angie and Rob a break, but I’m at such a crucial point I’d be lost without her.”