A few times, I almost did.
I kept my ears open for any news. As expected, something did happen. Though there was no longer a quiet day in America. Everyone was abuzz with rebellion, fear that the Commission was going to take over the country. Because of that, rumors spread and what the Commission thought they covered up with the Hampshire Peace Fund had been leaked.
Realizing that finances were now involved, people swarmed banks to withdraw money, causing panic that the banks would collapse. Virginia Street in Central was crowded with people trying to get into the main branches of the banks. Mark was stuck in traffic as police tried to guide us around the chaos. My face was pressed against the window, studying the people banging on the windows, yelling at people in line, or on the phone, hurriedly discussing what they felt was necessary to keep their money safe.
Now, it seemed like the people were going to create a problem that the government would have to swoop in and solve, and that would strengthen the people’s idea that they needed the government’s help.
As we drove along the back roads to the Commission, I saw posters and graffiti all promoting the “Central Angels.” The rebellion was permeating into every corner of society.
* *** *
Despite the way his demeanor changed for the meeting, I could not get the image out of my head of Dana throwing the pocket watch into the air and running to catch it, egging Sean to play a game of keep-away.
Dana was playing like a five-year-old in the quickly-filling meeting room, despite everything that was going on around the country. I could have written his behavior off as Dana just being insane, but there was something deadly about it. It had been obvious from the beginning that Dana was enjoying our dance, but this game of his made me think that the battle between the Commission and the rebellion gave him a reason to play, a reason to act like an amused five-year-old.
He was not worried about anything.
The others in the Commission of the People did not share the same playful attitude. They were terrified by the bank situation, thinking that the entire country was going to collapse in what the media was calling “The Month of Monsters.”
“At this rate, our greater fear is with the public, not the terrorist group,” Mr. Baker said sharply at the front of the room.
“I agree,” a woman whose name I did not know nodded. “Mr. Christenson, if we do nothing but sit back and wait the country will fall. The banks are unable to pull everyone’s money. We’re looking at another great crash! How can you do nothing?”
“Let me ask you what you think I should do,” Dana challenged.
“Tell the people the Hampshire Peace Fund pulling out is just a rumor,” she snapped desperately. “Make the banks secure. That should lessen the panic.”
“No,” Dana said. “The fewer lies, the lower the chance we will have to contradict ourselves in the future,” Dana explained. “It’s better to shrug and say we don’t know, or even say nothing. We’re already the target of distrust. Digging down is not a good way to get out of this hole.”
“But we can’t just sit back and wait to see what happens,” another man protested strongly.
“You’re right,” Dana agreed. “Which is why, until further notice, I am disbanding the Commission meetings.”
There was no outcry at the proposition. Only silent disbelief.
Dana smiled.
“Now, before everyone pitches a fit, let me explain my decision,” Dana started, raising his hands peacefully. “At the moment, this suspension is only for three weeks. The offices will remain open and operating, but the Saturday meetings will cease. The security has already caught several American citizens trying to spy on the building, so obviously, we must limit the amount of activity outside regular hours. Until things calm down, we need to be mindful of appearances. Until further notice, for three weeks, the Saturday meetings will not convene.”
“Why? Are you going to try to run things on your own?” Dean snapped. I would have glared at him to be quiet, but I was curious about the answer.
“Yes,” Dana nodded. “Not the way you’re thinking, though. I will be meeting with the military leaders, foreign ambassadors, and trying to calm the international community down. At the same time, all of you will not just sit here and argue about what to do next. I’m giving you a break. Get out and hear what the people have to say. Put everything into perspective. Unless things change, we will meet in three weeks and go from there.”
Again, we sat in still, stunned silence.
“Any questions? Comments? Concerns?” Dana pressed, looking around the room. No one could say anything. “Great, if anyone needs me, of course, they can still reach my advisors. If it is a real emergency, you can contact either Sean or myself. Enjoy your three weeks off. If anything changes, I will call you.”
No one moved, not sure if they should leave. Awkward glances were thrown around the room. Dana smiled.
“That’s it. Show’s over, thanks for coming,” he said with a laugh, motioning for everyone to leave.
Two seconds passed before the first person stood. When he was on his feet, others also stood, grabbing their jackets and bags, murmuring with one another about the oddity of Dana’s order.
My mother and father were also confused. I, however, was frightened. I would no longer have insight into what Dana was doing unless I spied on him after school. And it was entirely possible that he would tell Mark not to bring me to the Commission after school anymore.
As soon as I saw Dana make a beeline for our table, I knew he was going to tell me that I wasn’t going to be going to the Commission anymore.
“Karen, Tommy,” he greeted. “Little Lily,” he nodded to me, his tone changing when he said my name. I stared defiantly at him. “I hope you are not concerned about this decision.”
“Well, a little bit,” my mother admitted with a weak laugh. “I mean, this is a little strange…and we do feel slightly responsible…”
“Responsible?” Dana blinked. “Whatever for?”
“The whole thing with Mykail…”
“Oh, Karen, do not be concerned,” Dana assured, placing a hand on the side of her face. “I do not blame you at all for Mykail’s involvement with this group. You saw from the beginning that he disliked me. It comes as no great surprise that he would sympathize with this movement.”
“But if we had just been more careful…”
“It might not have stopped him,” Dana said, shaking his head. “Mykail was a powerful experiment, and he was very smart. Generally the quiet ones are the ones you have to watch out for, and I should have thought about that more. I do not blame you.”
“Thank you, Dana,” my mother whispered.
He smiled at her before turning to my father.
“Tommy,” he greeted. “I thought you did so well at the last press conference that I want you to become one of the speakers for the Commission.”
“Are you holding another press conference?”
“No, no, not yet,” Dana shook his head. “Right now I have everyone working on getting those videos off the internet. When that’s complete, I will try to think of a beautiful way to spin it so that you can tell the people everything is fine. You are a very eloquent speaker, Tommy. It’s a very attractive trait.”
“…thank you, Dana,” my father said, averting his eye to his feet.
“And, of course, Little Lily,” he smiled. “I was hoping I could speak to you privately.”
“Dana, we really need to get home…” my father protested.
“There is no need to be concerned,” Dana assured. “I am merely going to ask about the rumors circulating the school. Nothing more.”
Dana put a hand on my shoulder and led me to that dreaded hallway as my father looked on anxiously.
My panic was reaching a new high. I wanted desperately to stop the revolution, and I was beginning to think I should just tell Dana I was involved. That might allow me to spare some lives. The more I thought about confessing to the leader
of the Commission, the more terrified I became.
I jumped when the latch on the door clicked shut.
“Here we are again, Little Lily.”
“I’m coming to dislike our little chats,” I told him. He blinked, surprised.
“Really?” he asked, genuinely perplexed. “That wasn’t the impression I got from our last encounter.”
I cringed internally at the thought of sitting on Dana’s desk as he ran his fingers over my ankle. I managed to pass the discomfort off as an annoyed sigh.
“What do you want?”
“There are a few things I need to discuss with you,” he said, standing in front of me. “I know that even if I ask you about the rumors in the school, you won’t tell me anything solid. However, there is something very important I need to discuss with you.” He reached out and gently tucked strands of hair behind my ear. I flinched away. “You really are beautiful…”
I smacked his hand away.
“What do you want?”
He looked me over briefly and then blinked his eyes slowly, his entire demeanor changing with the miniscule movement, causing him to ooze honey and charm from every pore.
“Are you alright?” he asked. “Your entire being seems tensed and troubled.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not very good at lying,” Dana smiled. “There is nothing wrong with being frightened by everything going on. It is always unsettling sitting on a precipice.”
“A precipice?”
“I know you can feel it,” Dana whispered, reaching both hands out and cupping them around my shoulders. His thumbs moved over the fabric of my sweater, putting pressure against the skin and flesh over my joints, the sensation biting to the bone. “You can feel the tension in your bones, the apprehension that makes your hair stand on end…It’s an intoxicating drug, isn’t it? Doesn’t it make you excited?”
“You’re crazy,” I shook my head, trying to walk away. “I don’t have to listen to this.”
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, turning his body to put his back to the wall and turning me to face the emptiness of the hallway.
Before I could snap at him to release me, his lips were against my ear, his breath rushing in like water to assault my senses.
“Don’t run away from it, Little Lily,” Dana breathed, the varying tones of his voice tingling over my skin. “You’ve come so far, don’t back away from it now…”
“What are you—”
“This tension, this anticipation and empathic link you feel with the people, it has its hooks in you. Give in to it…follow it to its conclusion…”
“You want me to look forward to the world falling into chaos?” I growled.
“No,” he smiled, pressing his face against my hair, his breath ghosting over my scalp. “I want you to embrace it, fall with it…” He took a deep breath, his arms locking around my stomach. He pulled me closer. “You’ve wanted to play this game, and now that you’re in it, you can’t back out just because you’re frightened.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my temple. “Just let yourself fall into it…”
He tipped back on his heels, holding me tight, and began to fall backward as I panicked, trying to move away.
We both jolted as his shoulders hit the wall, stopping our fall abruptly.
A few silent and still seconds later, I sighed and shook my head, leaning back to look at him.
“You’re one of those people who loves destruction, aren’t you?”
“It is the only thing that is constant in society other than fear,” Dana nodded, pushing us upright and finally allowing me to move away. I turned slowly, trying to figure out how best to craft my confession.
“Dana…” I started, “what if I told you I was involved in the revolution?”
“It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest,” Dana grinned. “Are you telling me that?”
I studied his expression carefully, noting the glint in his eyes. There was something about his expression that confused me, that made me feel like he was disappointed in my confession. I replayed his words in my head, how he told me not to back down from our competition just because I was frightened…
Seeing the look in his eyes, I began to replay the news reports, the immense support that we had against Dana…Considering how far we had already gotten, my only fear was in taking that last step.
Stepping off the precipice, as Dana had said.
My mouth spoke before my brain could command it what to say.
“No,” I grinned. “That wouldn’t be much fun, would it?”
Dana’s disappointed glint disappeared, his smile pleased.
“No, it wouldn’t,” he agreed. “But…say that you are involved…there is something I need to tell you.”
“What?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest.
“The rebellion is about to have massive problems, and it has nothing to do with the Commission or me. All of the problems are going to come from inside.”
“What do you mean?”
“The rebellion is playing with loaded guns,” Dana explained. “As you know, the successful experiments are often sold or used, such as the Eight Group…” He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Did you ever wonder why there were experiments waiting in the wards?”
I just stared at him, schooling my expression, though I was getting very nervous.
“They’re either not complete, or they can’t function without medical help,” Dana said. “These are experiments that need assistance. They need medical attention. You should know this from Mykail. If I can’t get to him, then it is entirely possible that his body will begin fighting against the wings and it will kill him, slowly and painfully. He is not the only one who needs attention like that.”
“So, what you’re saying is that the weapons the rebellion has are going to eventually work against them?” I scoffed. “They’ll get sick and die?”
“More or less,” Dana confirmed. “Therefore, if you are involved—and I’m not saying you are—I would suggest you think very strongly about how you’re going to care for these experiments when you do not have the resources to do so.”
“Well, I guess that’s something that the group has already figured out,” I shrugged, trying to lie as best I could. In reality, I had never put thought to the experiments needing medical attention, and the sudden thought that we had been neglecting the needs of our most powerful allies caused my lungs to constrict painfully. “After all, they’ve been doing fine so far.”
“No, the people have been making the most fuss,” Dana disagreed. “The experiments have only appeared once in public, and then they made those trivial sob-story videos…otherwise, they have been largely out of sight…”
I tried to resist grinding my teeth together in frustration. There had been a lot of talks about other ways to get the experiments out in the open, but with my current doubts about the revolution, I had been heavily opposed to all ideas presented. I knew we could not continue to keep them hidden if we wanted to succeed, but I was unsure how to proceed safely.
“Anyway, that was what I wanted to talk to you about,” Dana declared, putting his hands in his pockets. “And Little Lily,” he added, “remember what I said. Embrace what’s coming…because it will be your fate.”
* *** *
Monday was another day of terror for the country as York & Brothers, the most powerful investment company in infrastructure and development across the country, cut funding for the government. All day, politicians and news crews were talking about how, without York & Brothers, it was entirely possible that America would have to resort to borrowing money from other countries to keep up with the maintenance, stability, and basic needs of the people. However, most speculated that the international community would be unwilling to provide financial aid to America with the rumors circulating about the Commission’s experiments and the tensions that were making the country so unstable.
I could not grasp the severity of the situation at all.
I had
problems within my own world. Specifically with Mark.
The leader of the Eight Group was obviously worried about even looking at me after I had been so harsh to him through the previous week. Since I had found the courage to stand up against Dana and tell him that I was not involved—even though he knew that I was—I felt nearly ready to discuss my insecurities with Mark. However, seeing him so worried around me, looking away as if he was a dog I had kicked too many times, I was beginning to feel as though I needed to mend our relationship before I spoke to him about such sensitive material.
It was harder than I expected.
Tuesday night, after Mark brought me home from the Commission, I had planned on speaking to him, but backed out at the last minute, kicking myself for my cowardice the entire cold walk from the car to the door.
My parents were talking worriedly about the trouble with York & Brothers while I sat at the dinner table, listening half-heartedly. I never understood investments or the reason why this would be such a problem for the country, but everyone who was older than twenty seemed to understand the gravity of the situation.
I went to my room and paced like a moron for three hours, something that had become my nightly routine. I went through hundreds of scenarios where I could approach Mark and talk to him, tell him what was wrong and how I felt, but it was more difficult to get the experiment alone than I expected, which was my first major barrier.
As I was sitting on my bed, trying to find some peace of mind that would help me fall asleep, I watched Dexter blankly, who had finally gotten annoyed with my nervousness and moved to his spot on the windowsill.
Dex turned his attention out the window, his ears perked up and his forequarters low.
Confused, I stood.
“What is it, Dex?” I whispered, walking to him and cupping my hands around my eyes as I pressed my face to the window. Near the end of the driveway, passed the darkened windows of the kitchen, there was a figure clad in a simple black suit, hands in his pockets, walking back and forth in the same spot, bouncing on his heels to fight the cold.
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