by Tara Thomas
He stared at the phone for several long seconds after the line went dead, wanting to make sure his expression was as neutral before facing his brothers. He squeezed his phone and blinked back tears. God, it had been good to talk to her. It wasn’t until his older brother, Kipling, coughed that he realized how much time it passed. He turned around.
“Was that a woman?” Kipling asked. “I bet it was the way you were standing, turned away from us and like you were in hiding. Tell us about her.”
Knox just stared at him.
“Honestly,” Keaton, his younger brother, said. “Cut him some slack.”
Knox wasn’t sure which brother was the most annoying. The blunt, hard-ass Kipling, or the I’m so in love, everything’s sunshine and happiness Keaton. Frankly, at this moment in time, they were both obnoxious and getting on his last nerve.
“You look upset. You should go see her,” Keaton said. “Tell her how you feel.”
Right, like number one, he’d never thought of doing that, and number two, that he hadn’t told her how he felt. It was difficult to get Keaton to see anything his way, though, since he was the self-proclaimed Benedict brother expert on relationships and love. Knox thought that was mostly his fiancée’s doing. If he needed advice from anyone, it was probably Tilly. In his experience, women were much better with talking about emotions. Or at least he had felt that way when it came to his mom and dad.
“Forget that shit,” Kipling said. “You should go get laid. If you’re interested, I have several—”
“Ick!” Tilly interrupted, coming into the conference room at the worst possible time and covering her ears. “I do not want to hear this.”
If it had been him or Keaton who’d asked Kipling to stop, he’d have laughed and kept right on talking. But Kipling liked and respected Tilly too much to offend her, so he simply winked at her and said to Knox, “Come by my office later. We’ll talk.”
The very thought of going by Kipling’s office and having him talk about his numerous exploits, and worse, for him to try to hook him up with one, turned Knox’s stomach. “No,” Knox said. “We won’t.”
“Why not?” Kipling asked.
“Because when this meeting is over, I’m going to go see her.” Knox spoke it like he’d made his mind up hours ago, but in reality, he’d just decided a few minutes prior.
“Are you talking about Bea? If so, I think that’s a good idea.” Tilly looked at him cautiously while taking her seat beside Keaton. “I talked to Janie this morning.”
By some stroke of fate, Tilly was friends with Bea’s half brother, Brent, and his fiancée, Janie. Though they resided mostly in DC, they were both from Charleston and they talked with Tilly regularly. Brent and Bea had the same mother. She’d remarried after Brent’s dad died.
Knox wrinkled his forehead, not liking the look Tilly had on her face. “Did Janie say something about Bea?”
“Bea’s still having panic attacks. Apparently, she had a bad one a few days ago.” Tilly dropped her voice. “I’m sorry.”
Knox was so pissed, he could punch something. Bea was still dealing with the aftermath of her attack and there was nothing he could do. Hell, she’d told him to stay away from her.
He took a few deep breaths, trying to control his anger at the situation. “I bet she hasn’t seen those therapists the hospital recommended, has she?”
Tilly shook her head. “Janie wasn’t sure, but she said Brent didn’t think she was. In fact, he told her that he was going to suggest to Bea that she come to DC for a few weeks the next time she called.”
He’d be damned if his wife was leaving the city without him. Especially since she was still having panic attacks and had thus far refused any sort of medical help. He pushed back from the table. “You guys are smart. You can do without me for a bit. I’m going to see Bea.”
Keaton clapped. “There you go. That’s the spirit.”
But Kipling only shook his head. “You should have done it my way. It’s a lot more fun.”
Knox wished he could have half of Keaton’s positive outlook, but he feared all he was going to do was make Bea even more upset at him. In which case, he’d probably wish for half of Kipling’s “who gives a shit” outlook. Unfortunately, he was neither of his brothers. And yet he didn’t quite fit the mold of saint, either, despite what the society pages said. He’d always felt he only got the nickname because he wasn’t as outgoing as either of his brothers. For the most part, he was a quiet man, who lived a quiet life.
In the end, it was Tilly’s softly spoken, “Be gentle” that got to him the most. Tilly who probably knew better than any of the three brothers what Bea was going through.
He thought about that as he drove to Bea’s office. Tilly hadn’t been assaulted, but she’d been threatened by someone they’d never found and held at gunpoint by a woman she once called a friend. As far as he was aware, Tilly never had panic attacks, and since they all lived in the same house, he’d have thought he’d know if she did.
But Tilly had a large support group of people who’d rallied around her afterward. It chilled him when he realized Bea had no one. Even her half brother and his fiancée had been out of the country. Who did she have nearby? No one other than her father, and he didn’t count in Knox’s book. It was more than the way he treated Bea, though that was enough. It was his entire philosophy toward people in general. He was quick to judge and slow to forgive, and if he found you lacking in any way, just one time, he would never like you, because his perception of you would never change. How the man ended up a member of the clergy was beyond him.
The closer he got to her office, the more determined he became. This time he wasn’t backing down. It was time for him to step up and be the man—the husband—Bea deserved. Even if she didn’t want to admit it.
He’d been patient. He’d given her time. And he’d played by her rules. It was plain as day that her way wasn’t working. Not if he had to find out secondhand that she was still having panic attacks.
He pulled into the parking lot of her office building, pleased to see her car parked outside. He knew for a fact that the office admin, Vicky, liked him. He’d walk inside and sweet-talk her into putting him on Bea’s schedule so she had to see him.
If nothing else, Bea could spare him half an hour.
“Here goes nothing,” he muttered to himself.
He walked inside and found it oddly quiet. He waited in the foyer for Vicky, not wanting to bust in on Bea if she was in the middle of a meeting. He didn’t have to wait long before he heard Vicky walking to her place up front.
Her worried expression didn’t change when she saw him. “Mr. Benedict, what can I help you with?”
He gave her a smile that typically opened doors for him. “I’m so sorry to be stoping by unannounced, but I really need to see Ms. Jacobs and I couldn’t help but notice her car is outside. Is there any way you could put me on her schedule for fifteen minutes?”
Vicky squared her shoulders. “Ms. Jacobs isn’t here. She’s stepped outside.”
She held something back, he saw it in her eyes. He motioned to a chair. “I’ll just wait for her then.”
“Mr. Benedict,” she started, but didn’t continue.
“Yes?”
She took a deep breath. “I don’t know where Bea went. A courier dropped off a letter for her. I gave it to her and minutes later, she comes flying by me on her way out. I called out to her, but she wouldn’t stop. I called her cell, but she’s not answering it.”
Unease began to seep inside Knox’s body. He wondered who the letter was from, but that could wait. First they had to find Bea. “Her car’s still here, so she can’t be far. Have you been outside to look for her?”
“I went outside right after she left to look around. I came back in for a minute to decide what to do next.”
Something felt wrong about this.
He wanted to get his hands on the letter she’d been sent, but that could wait until after they located her. His first p
riority was to find her and make sure she was okay.
“Why don’t you stay here in case she comes back or calls?” he told Vicky. “And I’ll go look around outside to see if I can spot her.”
Vicky looked close to tears. “You’ll let me know if you find her?”
“Yes,” he assured her, wishing he could give her more hope. “And you do the same for me. Let me give you my number.”
With that settled, he slipped his sunglasses on and stepped outside. He’d parked near her car, so he knew she wasn’t sitting in it. Nor was she at either of the benches along the front of the building.
The office was near the historical section of the city. All things considered, she could be just about anywhere. However, even if she would be loath to admit it, he knew her. In some ways he knew her better than she knew herself. Armed with the knowledge he had of her, he narrowed down the possibilities to either the battery or the small neighborhood park nearby. Those were the two places she went when she needed to think.
He headed toward the park because it was closer. He walked quickly, eyes scanning everyone and everything, but he found no trace of her. He passed a few tourists, a college-aged couple, and a woman running with a dog, but no Bea. From what Vicky said, Bea hadn’t left that long before he got there. He’d have thought he’d caught up with her by now.
He was almost to the entrance of the park when a movement off the side of the walkway caught his eye. Looking again, he discovered it was a woman and though he could only see her from the back, he knew it was Bea. If he had only seen her red hair, he’d have known. He’d recognize her hair anywhere.
But what was she doing and where was she headed?
He waited until he was almost upon her before he said something.
“Bea?” he called.
Immediately, she stiffened, but she took a deep breath and relaxed. She turned. “Knox?”
The sight of her punched him in the gut. She’d been crying, her cheeks were still wet. Her entire body trembled and in her hands was a crumpled sheet of paper. That damned letter, if he had to guess.
“Yes, baby.” He held his arms out to her, knowing it had to be her choice to come to him. “Come here. Let me keep you safe.”
He could have wept when she took a step toward him with no hesitation. The fact that she went willingly into his embrace spoke volumes about her frame of mind, he believed. After all, since her assault, she’d refused to simply talk to him and now she allowed him to hold her? He’d worry about getting to the bottom of what happened in in bit. What mattered was that she was scared and troubled, and she turned to him.
She wasn’t crying anymore, but every so often she gave a little hiccup of a sob and each time she did, it was like a knife in his heart. His ire at whoever caused her to feel this way increased. It had to have been triggered by the letter. He vowed to track down whoever sent it.
“Let’s go to the park,” he suggested. This time of day, it should be relatively empty. He wanted to take her to Benedict House. Not only because she’d be with him, but also because of the security Kipling had insisted be added after Tilly’s incident.
Bea gave one last sniffle and nodded. He was loath to have her step out of his arms, but he took her hand and she didn’t pull away. He’d take every victory he could, no matter how small.
By the time they reached the park, about five minutes later, Bea looked more composed. Her cheeks had color once again. Even when they sat on an empty bench and weren’t holding hands anymore, she remained pressed against his side.
She glanced down at the paper in her lap and tried to straighten it out. Unfortunately, she had it flipped so the words weren’t visible.
“I need to call Vicky. She’s worried sick.” He shifted so he could get the phone from his pocket. She answered on the first ring with, “Tell me you found her.”
He looked at the woman at his side. The woman he loved. His wife. “Yes,” he said. “I have her. And I’m going to be with her for the rest of the day. She’s not going back to the office.”
“Thank you,” Vicky said, her relief obvious. “I know she’s safe with you.”
They said their good-byes and he noticed Bea eyeing him as he slipped his phone back into his pocket.
He wasn’t sure how to go about saying what he needed to say. Direct and honest was probably the best route to go. But first he had to see the letter that had caused all the trouble. He held his hand out. “Can I see the letter?”
She only hesitated for a second before handing it to him and then turning away as if she couldn’t stand to read it again. After reading the message, he completely understood why.
I’m coming to finish what I started.
Typed in black, the large font used might as well have been a billboard. He swallowed his anger at the fact that someone was threatening his woman, and took a deep breath.
“I didn’t see who dropped it off. I don’t know if Vicky did or not.”
“She said it was a courier. No help there.” He lowered his voice. “How often are you having panic attacks?”
She looked at him in shock. “How’d.…”
He shook his head. Not wanting her to get mad at either her brother or Janie for passing along that information. “How I know isn’t important. It’s you and what this is doing to you.”
“Not too often. I usually know what’s going to trigger one, so I stay away from those situations.”
It didn’t escape his attention that she didn’t answer the question. “How are you sleeping?”
She didn’t answer, but bit her lip and looked away.
“Bea?”
“It’s hard to avoid the triggers when your subconscious brings them to you.”
He swore under his breath. “I’ll take that to mean you’re not sleeping.”
“I’m fine. Really.”
When she ducked her head, the sun struck her hair, showing off all the colors. Lord, he loved this woman, but he wanted to shake some sense into her. No. What he wanted to do was drag her to bed and keep her there for days on end. He’d bring her so much pleasure, she’d forget her own name, much less the asshole who kept threatening her. And he’d ensure she was so exhausted, she would fall asleep in his arms and would sleep like the dead for at least ten hours.
But none of that was going to happen anytime soon, so until then, he’d have to talk some sense into her. “Bea,” he said, much calmer than he felt. “What part about any of this is fine? Are the panic attacks fine? The threats? Us?”
“Don’t bring us into it, Knox,” she said and even though it was directed at him, he was glad to hear the steel reenter her voice.
“Why shouldn’t I?” He took her hand and she didn’t pull away. “If you hadn’t been attacked.…” He trailed off.
The truth was they’d never had a conversation about why she didn’t want him around. He’d shown up at her side at the hospital and when she woke up, she took one look at him and told him to get out. He hadn’t pushed her on it or asked her to explain.
But what if it hadn’t been either of those reasons? What if it’d been something else?
“You’re right about one thing.” She stood up and brushed her skirt. “If it hadn’t been for the attack, we wouldn’t be here now. But that doesn’t change the fact that we are here, does it? The thing is, I’m getting close to something. I have to be or else whoever it was wouldn’t continue to threaten me.”
Did she honestly think he was just going to let her walk away? He stood to join her. “Where are you going? You know you can’t stay at your place.” He held the letter up. “Not after this. It’s not secure enough.”
“I’m not going to let them chase me out of my house.”
Usually he loved her stubbornness, actually found it to be hot, like the way she initially turned him down. But this time when she turned it on him, he only felt frustrated. “I need you to look at this rationally.”
“I am.”
“No. You’re not. Your place is a se
curity nightmare.”
She rolled her eyes. “It is not. It just isn’t wired with the latest technology like Benedict House. Look at it this way, if they take away my house, I’ll have nothing left.”
“But you’ll be alive.” How could she not see that? “And it’s not forever, it’s only until we find out who’s doing this and stop them.”
“I’m not moving. You want to keep me safe, find a way to do it with me still in my house.” And with that, she walked away. Just like nothing had ever happened, like he hadn’t come up on her and found her crying because of a threat on her life.
She told him to keep her safe like she didn’t think he could do it. He’d show her. She knew that after graduation, years ago, he’d worked briefly for a cyber security firm in Afghanistan. It was where he’d not only learned how to hack, but also the proper use of weapons. It was time he showed her just how well he could protect her.
* * *
Bea peeked out of her blinds later that night and let them close again with a curse. Knox had been parked in front of her place for three hours and it looked as if he planned to stay there the entire night. Seriously? She shook her head. How long did he plan to keep that up? If she ignored him, maybe he’d go away.
The best thing she could do was pretend he wasn’t there. As it turned out, that was a lot easier said than done, because, thanks to the fact that before her assault they’d spent most of their time at her place, his presence was everywhere. She considered working, but she hadn’t brought any files home. She couldn’t watch TV because the only shows she wanted to watch were shows she’d watched with him. And she could forget about reading because in every love story she picked up, she imagined Knox in the place of the hero.
For a fleeting moment, she thought about asking him to come inside. He was already in her driveway, what were a few feet more? If she invited him in, she knew he’d sit as close to her as possible. He’d probably put his arm around her. It’d feel so good to be wrapped in his warmth.
But no, she couldn’t risk it.
She was too wound up to go to bed and she wasn’t in the mood to clean. She eyed the huge soaker tub in her bathroom. Now that sounded like a good idea. It had been way too long since she relaxed in the tub. At the moment, a hot and sudsy bath would feel like heaven on earth.