by Janey Rosen
Dick’s Transport Café is as salubrious as its name infers. Sited on the fringe of the town and adjoining the only petrol station, it is a grey 1960’s stone box with plate glass windows through which it’s impossible to see due to the copious burger posters tacked on the glass. Bella hesitantly pushes open the door, rolling her eyes as she takes in the shabby interior.
“Come on darling, I’m sure the breakfast pasties are to die for. Literally!” I joke.
“Take a seat lovelies, I’ll be with you in a tick,” the young waitress indicates to a table by the window and we each pull out a pine chair and sit, resting our hands on the green gingham plastic table cover which is sticky under our skin. I wince, as the hard wood is unforgiving on my tender buttocks.
“Mum you take me to all the best places,” Bella laughs. “Do you think everyone in this town is related?” She whispers.
“Interbred, for sure,” I giggle, just as the waitress appears at my side.
“Ready to order?” We haven’t even looked at the menu but I suspect it comprises copious quantities of cholesterol.
“Do you have any breakfast pasties please?” I ask, hoping she’ll say no.
“Two breakfast pasties. Yes. Mug of tea with that?” Wow this place gets better.
“Perfect, thank you.” I can’t look at her or I will laugh. Her ample bosom sits at waist level and I’m sure she tucks them into her panties.
“Ketchup’s on the counter if you want it,” she adds helpfully, before she and her breasts sway off to fetch our food.
“Hilarious,” chuckles Bella.
The only other customer puts his grease covered plate on the counter and bids a cheery goodbye to Big Boobs, before leaving, dragging along his flea bitten dog. The bell above the door jingles as he goes. The tinkling bell merges with the ring tone of my phone, which I don’t immediately hear.
“Mum, your phone’s ringing,” Bella pushes my handbag across to me and I fumble around, finally retrieving the mobile phone as it stops ringing.
Sebastian missed call.
Oh crap. He’s going to be mad at me – why does that thought turn me on? I’m so cross with him. My phone beeps.
Sebastian new voicemail.
I put the phone to my ear, first turning down the volume so that Bella can’t hear the undoubtedly shouty message.
“Elizabeth. I see your car’s gone. Call me immediately.” His voice is clipped - anger tinged with anxiety. He can stew, I think, let him worry then maybe he’ll realize how wrong he was in smacking me.
“Who was it?” asks Bella.
“It was nobody. Wrong number,” I lie.
The breakfast pasties are surprisingly delicious, the warm flaky pastry crumbling onto our laps as the scrambled egg, onion, bacon and melted cheese leave a greasy sheen around our faces. We devour it all, washed down with mugs of milky tea. My phone beeps just as I replace my paper napkin on the table next to it.
If you don’t call I will presume you’ve had an accident and will come looking for you. Why did you take Bella? S
Touched at his concern but still angry, I delete his message.
“Mum you should call him,” Bella frowns at me. “Have you two had an argument?” She asks.
“No love, of course not. He’s just a bit possessive so I wanted some time out that’s all.” She doesn’t look convinced.
“I can’t go through that again Mum,” she warns and I know that what she fears is a repeat of the rows between my late husband Alan and I.
“Don’t be daft, Bella. Sebastian and I just need a little time to adjust to being together. We’ve not seen each other much over the past few weeks and have never lived together like this. Just give us time, you know I adore him.”
“I adore him too,” she replies with a faraway look in her eyes. “He’s quite possibly the most perfect man I’ve ever met. When I get married, I want to meet someone just like him.” She has a teenage crush on him. How does he have this affect on every woman he meets? It’s because Sebastian is the archetypal alpha male – tall, dark and handsome with chiselled features and a commanding demeanour. He exudes power thus women feel he’s a protector. Conversely, no woman is safe from this predator.
“Keep the change.” The waitress regards the ten-pound note in her hand and grunts unappreciatively before removing our plates and mugs. The bell jingles and I turn my head absentmindedly to see who’s entered. My mouth gapes open as my eyes lock with Scarlett’s.
16
She takes a seat next to me and plays with the cuffs of her black dress, nervously.
“Scarlett. What are you doing here?” This is clearly not a coincidental meeting. “He’s sent you to find me?” I ask incredulously.
She nods her head meekly. “He’s very worried, Mrs. Dove, he wants you to come back immediately. He’s worried about Bella too.”
“For heaven’s sake, call me Beth. I’m enjoying breakfast out with my daughter, am I to be a prisoner at Penmorrow?” I huff irritably. Scarlett fidgets on her chair, nervously but doesn’t reply.
“Mum, it’s nice that he cares. Didn’t you tell him we were going out?” Bella looks at Scarlett who shakes her head, affirming my apparent crime of non-disclosure.
“No, Bella. I’m a big girl and don’t need permission to take my daughter out for breakfast. Scarlett, do you want a cup of tea or breakfast?” Scarlett shakes her head again. You don’t say much, do you?
“Fine. When you get back please inform Sebastian that I’m taking my daughter shopping and we’ll be back before lunch.” Scarlett’s brow lifts, her eyes widen, presumably in shock at my audacity in defying His Lordship.
“He won’t be happy if I don’t go back with you,” she cautions. “I thought you’d take me home.”
“How did you get here?” It dawns on me then, that Sebastian must have driven her here. Turning my head sharply toward the expansive windows, I peer through a gap in the posters. The road is quiet, one or two locals are walking their dogs, newspapers clutched under their arms. Passing traffic is light. Shopkeepers are putting A-boards on to the pavement opposite. Then I see him. He’s leaning against the lamppost, his lower half obscured by a parked car. Arms folded, he’s staring directly at me and, from what I can see from here, he’s not happy. Scarlett is right.
“Come on Bella, we’re leaving.” Picking up my handbag I march out of the shop without a farewell to Big Boobs. Scarlett and Bella scurry behind me, trying to keep up. Reaching my car, I hesitate and look across the road where Sebastian is watching me. He’s amused! I’m astounded. His lips form a crooked smile, his dark eyes reflecting his glee … at my displeasure. He thinks he’s won. Scarlett is climbing in to my car and he presumes, therefore, that I’m complying with his instructions to return to Penmorrow. Ignoring my passengers now aboard, I march across the road toward him. His amusement turns to surprise as he unfolds his arms and places them on his hips, eyebrow cocked.
“Mrs. Dove. How was breakfast?”
He has that dark, wicked glint in his eyes now, as I invade his personal space in an attempt to square up to him. I’m so close to him, my breath catches as his rugged good looks completely disarm me. Fuck you are so sexy … but I’m very, very mad at you.
“Your Lordship. What a surprise to see you here,” the sarcasm in my voice serves only to raise his eyebrow almost to his hairline. My neck is craned back so that I can look him in the eye – he seems to tower above me even more at this moment so I rise up on to the balls of my feet in a futile attempt to match his height.
“It seems your phone isn’t working, Elizabeth so I thought I’d come and find you – call it protecting my assets.” What the hell?
Rising to the bait as always, I push my shoulders back and scowl at him in the most menacing way I can muster to which he laughs – a deep belly laugh.
“Oh Mrs. Dove. What am I going to do with you?” His arms encircle me and pull me tightly to his chest and I can’t push away, despite trying very hard. He plants a tender
kiss on my hair and it’s no good – I’m a lost cause, melting into his arms, breathing in his masculine scent as his muscular grip locks me tightly to him.
“You haven’t quite grasped the finer details of submission, have you darling?” he chastises.
“Well, you haven’t quite grasped the finer details of mutually respectful relationships, have you Sebastian?” Yes! Well said, Beth – high five to me!
He sucks air through his teeth and his muscles are taught now, I’m so close to him, his erection pressing against my navel. Here in this sleepy town? What will the locals say? My face blushes deep rouge.
“Home.” He releases me from his embrace and pushes me back at arms length, smirking at my enflamed cheeks. “We’ll need to revisit discipline, Mrs. Dove. Later.” Bugger. That’s not good.
“What fun,” I tease. “I may see you at home, I may not.”
Wriggling from his grip I dart back to my car giggling like a naughty schoolgirl. Casting a glance back at him as I slip in behind the wheel, I note that he’s shaking his head and running his hand through his hair. As Bella, Scarlett and I navigate the winding roads back to Penmorrow, I reflect on what it is about him, which brings out the devil in me. Hopelessly under his spell, I’m a lost cause – loathing his punishments but craving him fiercely, I am a mess of contradiction and he is an enigma.
“Are you scared of Sebastian?” I ask Scarlett, my eyes observing her pale face in the rear view mirror.
“Of course not,” she proclaims far too emphatically. “I respect him. There’s a difference.”
“Well I think he’s amazing,” coos Bella.
Scarlett is wearing the choker around her neck again and my eyes alternate from the road ahead to the choker.
“Why are you still wearing that choker?” My question takes her by surprise and her slender fingers play with the ribbon.
“Lord De Montfort gave it to me,” she says apprehensively. “A while back, for my birthday. It means a lot to me.” Didn’t he ask you not to wear it now? I’ll confront him about that later. Mine is in my suitcase, he hasn’t mentioned the fact that I haven’t worn it for him.
We arrive back at Penmorrow, Sebastian’s car not yet here. In the kitchen Scarlett makes a pot of tea and then busies herself with laundry duties while I wait for Sebastian to return.
By seven o’clock in the evening, Sebastian has still not returned and I know it’s to make a point. Tit for Tat, he can be so childish. Scarlett is preparing dinner, basting a chicken and Bella is setting the table.
“Just three places, Bella,” Scarlett tells her.
“Three? Aren’t you eating with us this evening?” I enquire.
“Yes, if that’s ok. His Lordship won’t be dining with us tonight.”
“What?” This news hit me like a sledgehammer. “Where is he?”
Scarlet replaces the chicken in the range and wipes her hands on her apron.
“He called me this afternoon to say that he’s having supper with friends tonight. He won’t be back until late.”
She has a knowing smile, clearly delighting in keeping this information from me all afternoon. Leaving the kitchen and taking my mobile phone from my bag, I seek the privacy of Sebastian’s study and call him. The ringtone is cut short and sent to voicemail. I redial, it again goes unanswered so, this time I leave a message.
Sebastian. It’s Beth. This is not funny, why don’t you grow up? Enjoy your evening.
I cut the call and turn my phone off. Two can play at that game.
Dinner is eaten in silence. Bella detects the frosty atmosphere between Scarlett and I and retreats to her room without dessert. Taking the opportunity of being alone with Scarlett, I pour us both a brandy before confronting her.
“I’ve got to ask you this – what’s with the choker? Please don’t say it was just a birthday present.”
“Why don’t you ask Sebastian?” She’s being evasive.
“I’m asking you. He’s not here.”
“I’m sorry, I’m not permitted to discuss it with you.” What the hell does that mean?
“What do you mean, you’re not permitted?” Scarlett drains her brandy in one gulp.
“Beth, I’m not your enemy. You’ve got a lot to learn here and it’s not always easy,” she says. “We have to trust Him to guide us, he’d never do anything which was not in our very best interests you know.”
I gulp down my brandy and pour another, topping up Scarlett’s glass again. The alcohol burns my throat and enflames my confidence.
“Have you slept with Sebastian?” I need to know. She stares coldly into my eyes as she again empties her glass.
“No Beth. I haven’t slept with Him.” She’s lying I can tell. Her cheeks are flushed and her bravado false.
“So, you haven’t actually slept with him. I’ll rephrase the question, have you had sex with Sebastian?” She pours another brandy, averting her gaze now and the inability to look me in the eye confirms my suspicions.
“You need to ask Him that, Beth. Please don’t ask me anything else. I care about you, Beth. We need to look after each other,” she fidgets nervously with the stem of her glass.
“Do you love him?” she asks quietly.
“Yes. I do,” the realisation that I have come to love and rely on Sebastian only occurs to me now. “I really do.” She’s silent, tears glisten in the candlelight as they fall down her cheeks.
“Oh my God, you love him too, don’t you?”
There am I, consumed with envy at the thought of a sexual relationship between them … when she loves him. Does he love her? Lost in the torturous thought that the man I love could be anything other than true to me, Scarlett slips away, gently closing the door behind her.
17
It’s been years since I rode a horse. Scarlett suggested that I ride Zariya – a steady mare apparently. Paul, Sebastian’s stable hand, looked a little troubled at my choice but saddled her up compliantly.
She’s going easy on me as we gently trot across the expansive grounds. It’s still early - the sunrise is spectacular, the sky a spectrum of inky blue, crimson and violet. The beauty of the dawn contrasts starkly to the pain within me. When I woke this morning, I reached across for Sebastian but he hadn’t returned. So I find myself now, riding one of his horses as he rides so often at dawn, to feel what he feels and to see the beauty that he sees.
“Go on girl,” my confidence is returning. Tightening the rein and squeezing my outside leg, Zariya responds by quickening her pace, and as she picks up a canter I let my seat rest heavy and push her forward, it’s exhilarating. Soon, we reach the ancient oak where Sebastian used to picnic as a child, pulling Zariya up, I dismount and pat her sweating flank. She snorts and nudges me before turning her attention to the grass under hoof. Still clutching the rein, I catch my breath and look back across the meadow, beyond to the manicured lawns and finally rest my gaze on Penmorrow, the austere structure softened to a golden stone in the early light. Sebastian’s Land Rover is drawing up to the house.
Zariya whinnies as I mount her once more, her nose dipping to find more grass but I pull sharply on her bit. I need to see Sebastian, to gauge how he is with me, to hear him tell me that he loves me, and to know that he doesn’t love Scarlett. The hiss of my crop against Zariya’s flank produces the speed I require and our canter turns to a gallop as she senses she’s on a homeward run. Out of my comfort zone now, I pull on her rein and lean back in a futile attempt to slow the speeding mare. Confused by my rusty horsemanship, the poor horse misreads my intention and continues at speed toward the house. I pull sharply on the inside rein and squeeze my inside leg in an attempt to slow her but she turns sharply and I’m slipping. My feet lost to my stirrups, I slide and the ground is rushing at me, my head strikes something with a sickening thump, and blackness envelopes me.
I’m running through the cellar, the darkness is alive with watching eyes. I can’t see who’s there but feel their piercing stares. A whip cracks and the lash tears
at my buttocks, splitting the skin apart and Sebastian laughs a guttural roar. My hands are tied, the rope chaffing my wrists and I’m forced to watch Scarlett take Sebastian in her mouth. Again and again she sucks and devours him while he writhes against her hungry mouth until he’s screaming her name in ecstasy.
“Why can’t it be me?” My voice is a whisper, I can’t cry out – I try again louder, “why can’t it be me?” They can’t hear me but I scream to them, “why are you doing this to me? I. Love. You …”
They hear me now and turn in unison in my direction. We are all in the chamber of pain now – they on the circular bed, I am chained by the wrists from the hook above them. They look up at me, goading and laughing while she grinds down hard on his cock, riding him while I sob above them.
“Scarlett. Oh Fuck, Scarlett. Darling Scarlett.” His voice is soothing now, it drifts in and drifts out and then the darkness comes again.
The throbbing in my head is making me feel nauseous. I try and open my eyes but the brightness of the light is too harsh. I can hear Sebastian talking, he sounds frightened. He’s such a strong man – why does he sound so scared?
“It’s ok darling. Not again. Fuck not again. I can’t lose you. I’m with you. Oh fuck, I’m so sorry Elizabeth.”
I try and reach up to touch him, sooth him but my arms are heavy and my head hurts, I need to sleep then the pain will go.
When I open my eyes, he’s sat beside me, his head in his hands. I don’t recognise the room – all looks different.
“Where am I?” My voice is weak, my head aching. He clutches my hand and moves to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Darling. Thank God. You’re in hospital, Elizabeth. You came off Zariya, you stupid bloody fool. What the fuck were you doing riding her?” He’s angry with me?