“That doesn't make it better! There are a lot of people dead because you and your coven of shitheads decided to have a little fun. Wait! What do you mean fit the description?”
“You're not going to like it,” she replied sheepishly.
“I doubt I could like it any less than I already do.”
She shrugged and said, “Fine. Dorks, dweebs, geeks. You know the type. That's who we were supposed to bring. Last month, the guys all brought fat girls, and this time it was ladies night. Sorry, but you have to admit a grown man carrying a handful of Castles and Dragons books...”
“Dungeons and Dragons,” I automatically correctly her.
“Whatever. Sorry, but you weren't exactly dripping with coolness. Besides which, it's not like I had much of a choice. Whenever Jeff sends us out on one of his little scavenger hunts, he makes sure to give all of his instructions as a compulsion.”
“Compulsion?”
“Yeah. That thing he and James tried on you last night,” she explained. “You know, feels like someone is blasting an order into your skull? That's a compulsion. Unlike you, the rest of us hear and obey,” she said, starting to sound snippy, as if she was resentful of me.
“So he commands you, and you have no choice but to do it?”
“For the most part, yes,” she answered.
“And does he do this a lot?”
“Pretty much. Gets off on it, I think. He especially likes to use it on us girls. Have us do all sorts of freaky shit.”
“Like... for example?” I asked, the pervert in me coming to the forefront.
“Like when he first turned me. The asshole had me lap dance him whenever he got in the mood. Wherever we were, I'd have to lap dance. We could be in the middle of fucking Macy's and suddenly I'd have to start grinding against him!”
“What about sex?” I asked. Hey, if she was explaining things, I might as well get the dirt.
“Huh?”
“Does he compel you to sleep with him, too?”
“No. I just do that because he's cute.” (Yeah, that figures!)
“I see. Ah, anyway. How does it work?”
“Well, when a man and a woman like each other very much...” she started.
“I know how sex works!” I growled.
She gave me a grin in return. “Just making sure. As for compulsion, pretty much all of us can try to do it, although it mostly works from sire to child. The older ones amongst us, though, can usually get it to work on whoever they please. That's why James was able to try it on you.”
“And it usually works?”
“Mostly. As we get older, we develop resistance to it. But it takes a while.”
“But it didn't work on me right out of the gate,” I pointed out.
“Yeah. Surprised the shit out of all of us. Most of us thought Freewills were just a myth.” (Vampires thinking something else was a myth... that's a good one.)
“And a Freewill is what, exactly?”
“Supposedly every so often, a person who is turned is able to completely ignore being compelled, even by the strongest of masters. There’s more to it, but the bottom line is that it's really rare. In fact, I don't think it's happened in a long time. If even James thought you were a myth, that says something. You're kind of like the vampire equivalent of finding a unicorn in your backyard.”
Okay, that was something potentially useful. On the other hand, if it was as rare as Sally said it was, I could still wind up on a table in some dark dungeon being dissected by some vampire mad scientists. Not exactly a fate worth looking forward to. On the positive side, at least they couldn't willingly make me climb onto the table for it. So, I guess that was something.
Sally suddenly snapped her fingers in front of me. “Are you just going to stand there with your mouth hanging open, or can we go eat now?”
“Sorry. This is kind of new to me. I have a lot of questions.”
“Fine. But just a few more. I'm starving. One of these days someone really should write a manual for the newbs.”
I mock bowed and sarcastically replied, “Thank you for your undying compassion, my mistress of the night... speaking of which, why exactly are you here?”
“Actually, it was James’ suggestion. Last night, he mentioned we should get you a babysitter. Jeff said it was my fault we got you dumped on us (oh yeah, feeling the love now), so voila. I'm supposed to show you the ropes, get you fed, keep you from doing something stupid to get yourself killed, etc. In short...”
“A babysitter,” I finished. “Great. Remind me to thank... James was it? Are you talking about Ozymandias?”
“Duh! You didn't think his name was really Ozymandias, did you?”
“Of course not!” I lied. “So why was everyone calling him that?”
“It's tradition.”
“It's tradition to call someone a stupid name?”
“No, idiot! It's tradition that visiting elders respect the rules of each coven. Since one of Jeff's rules is that everyone takes a new name...”
“Kinda like a fucked up version of the X-men?”
“Who?”
“Never mind,” I replied. “So, James has to respect Jeff's rules, and that means he has to take on an alias while he's here.”
“Exactly. See, not as dumb as you look.” (bitch!)
“And not all covens have this rule?”
“None of the others do, actually,” she said. “Every coven has its own rules and traditions, within limitations, of course. For example, there's this one coven up in Cambridge that will only turn people who have PhDs. And they have to be published in a journal at least once a decade, otherwise they get staked.”
“Fucking MIT! Even their vampires are elitist fuckwads!” I muttered to myself.
“What was that?”
“Nothing important. So, if one of Night Razor's...sorry...Jeff's rules is that everyone takes on a new identity, then why don't you have one? So far, all I've heard people call you is Sally. That's downright pedestrian compared to Night GAYzor.”
Sally chuckled for a moment at my joke (hey, she got me killed, but that’s no reason to stop putting the moves on her) and then said, “That is my coven name, or at least part of it.”
“What’s the rest?”
“It's stupid. Jeff gave it to me. It's lame, even by his standards.”
“What is it? I promise not to laugh.”
“Sunset. My name is Sally Sunset.”
Okay, so I lied about the not laughing part. “You're right. That is stupid!”
“Yeah, very funny. Thank you for your sympathy, Dr. Death.”
“Point taken. But what about...”
“Enough! You need to be taught how to feed, and I need to eat. I already told you I'm freaking starving. I'm surprised you're not. Most people are when they're first turned. I've even seen a few wake up as little more than feral animals until they got some blood in them.”
“I ate some chicken before the party. But I guess I could use a bite... get it? A bite!”
“Yeah, haven't heard that one before,” she said dryly. “Let's go!”
“Are we going out?”
“Don't be stupid. It's four p.m. Sun's still out. We're not going outside unless you like the idea of being extra crispy. We're going down. “
“FOUR P.M.!? How hard did that asshole hit me?”
“Pretty hard,” she admitted, “but that's not all of it. Once you were turned, your body's natural rhythm reversed itself. You're nocturnal now, so your body is going to want to rest itself during the day. Jeff's punch just kind of helped you get to sleep faster.”
“I'll be sure to thank him. Hey, where is he and the rest of your merry group, anyway?” I asked as I followed her.
She opened the door and beckoned me to follow her downstairs. “Not here. We have space in and under almost every building on this block. “
“The rent must be a killer.”
“One of the perks of eternal life is interest compounded annually,” she qui
pped. “Besides, it's probably a good thing Jeff isn't here. He didn't seem to like you much.” (No shit, Sherlock!) I followed her to the first floor and then we continued downward.
“You better hope he changes his mind, or in three months you're gonna be toast.”
That brought me to a screeching halt. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on a second! What happens in three months?”
“Your protection wears off,” she said matter-of-factly, and kept descending.
“What protection?”
“James'. He put you under his personal protection. Nobody's allowed to mess with you, or they'll have to deal with him.”
“Okay. That's a good thing,” I said.
“Exactly. Otherwise we wouldn't be having this chat.”
“So, what happens in three months?”
“It ends.”
“Why?”
“That's our law. A vampire can put a newly turned vampire under his or her protection. It's meant as a way to ensure that all of the recently reborn have a fair chance and don't get preyed upon by others. Sadly, not all of our kind are as civilized as us (considering Jeff wanted to gak me the second I woke up, I'd hate to see what she meant by that). However, the protection only lasts for ninety days. Once that's done, you're on your own.”
“But I'm part of the coven now!” I pointed out.
“So was Todd, a.k.a. Rage Vector. Being one of us doesn't mean shit. If Jeff decides to stake you at that point, it'll be his business.”
“How comforting, knowing that I have an extra violent tumor that's going to kill me in three months,” I muttered as I noticed we were probably around sewer level by now.
“Those are the breaks. We're vampires, not the Peace Corps. Ah, finally! Here we are. Time for you to make your first kill.” She motioned toward a large reinforced door that was blocking our path.
“Kill?” I asked, even though I knew exactly what she meant.
“Don't start playing dumb now. Yes, kill.”
“Can't we eat without killing someone?”
“Of course.”
“Then why do I...”
“Because it's something that you'll have to do at some point. There will be times when there's no bottled blood around and no farm animals to drink from.”
“Eh, what about dogs, or maybe rats?” I asked.
She sighed as if I were a complete moron. “Ever try sinking your teeth into the neck of an angry German Shepherd? They tend not to be too accommodating. And rats... ewwww! Fucking things are usually covered in fleas and shit. As for the killing part, there's the problem of turning your victims. That's a no-no. Problem is, it usually takes new vampires a couple of years before they get the hang of eating without also infecting their food. If you leave them alive and they turn, well, then you'd better either have an open spot in a coven for them, or stake them quickly.”
“Or?”
“Or it's your ass!”
“So that means...”
“You either drink them dry, or kill them when you're done,” and with that, she unlocked the door and held it open for me. “Dinner is served. Bon appetite!”
I walked into a good sized chamber, followed by Sally, who then closed the door behind us. Oddly enough, it looked like it better belonged in a hospital (an old one, at least) than a sewer. The place was well lit and about the size of a living room. The floor sloped slightly downward to the center, where there was a large French drain. The walls themselves were lined with what looked like several industrial-sized refrigerators. And that was about it... oh with maybe the exception of the large table off to one side on which a fat, naked dude was chained and gagged. Y'know, just in case that's one of those details you might tend to notice.
Standing next to him was one of the babes from last night, Starlight, I believe. She looked me up and down as I entered. It might have been my imagination, but I sensed a bit of hesitation in her for a moment or two. However, when she finally spoke, there was no hint of it.
“The doctor is in the house! It's about time. Thought you were going to sleep all day,” she said in a saucy little voice.
“Sorry. I had a little issue with someone's fist in my face. Starlight, right?”
She seemed slightly embarrassed by that. “Alice.”
“Bill,” I answered in return.
“Well, Bill, this sumptuous feast is all for you,” she gestured toward the fat, naked, and sweaty... definitely sweaty… dude. “He was supposed to be Ronda's date, but he showed up late. Poor girl didn't get any points from Jeff (oh yeah, poor girl). But oh, well, no point in letting him go to waste.”
“Okay, well thanks... I guess.” I slowly walked around the table, looking over the unappetizing morsel before me. I felt bad for the guy and wished I could help, but I was still slightly more concerned about my own well being. Unfortunately, I didn't see anyway I was going to get us both out of here alive (especially with the sun still shining. I still didn't have any real proof of what would happen to me, but I've seen enough movies to know that it probably wouldn't be the smartest thing for me to just run out and enjoy the sunshine). Sorry, dude, but I'll have to find some other way to even out my karma. I stopped circling and asked,
“So, what exactly am I supposed to do?”
Sally walked over next to Starlight and gave me another eye roll. Her look said that she wasn't exactly in awe of my presence.
“You find an artery or a vein, and then you dig in,” Sally said. “The throat is always a good place to start. If they haven't already, your fangs should protrude automatically once you bite down. It's that simple.”
Upon seeing that, I still wasn't making a move.
Starlight cooed to Sally, “You really need to learn to be nicer to the virgins (virgins!? Starting to feel insulted here). Here, Bill, let me help you out a bit.” She walked over to the guy and nicked the side of his neck with one of her fingernails. A thin stream of blood started to flow.
“Now, just close your eyes and smell the blood. Take a few deep breaths of it and let instinct take over.”
Okay. Close my eyes. Take a whiff through my nose. Oh, this is stupid... wait. Holy crap! I could smell it, and it smelled good. Damn good! It's hard to explain, but, as the scent of it drifted in, I could feel myself salivating. I could also feel my canines elongating. Weird feeling, by the way. I guess at some point while I was asleep, they retracted. I'll have to practice that, but not right now. Now I wanted to... no, I needed to… eat.
I bent over the guy, eyes still closed, letting my senses guide me, and bit into where Starlight had opened the wound. Oh my god! Think of the best plate of nachos you've ever eaten, the tastiest margarita you've ever chugged, the best apple pie you've ever enjoyed... yeah this was all those combined. I had no idea how hungry I had been until I bit down and swallowed that first taste. It was utterly all consuming, and I wanted to lose myself in it.
That was a mistake.
I tried to open up all my senses as I gorged myself. I tasted, I drank, I smelled... this guy's fucking B.O.! This close up, even the glorious scent of the blood couldn't compete with the inglorious scent of this guy. Christ, did no one ever teach this dude about deodorant? That started to pull me back from the bliss I had initially experienced. What ended it was when I opened my eyes and reality came crashing in like a hammer. Was I really sucking on the throat of a fat, naked... and did I mention sweaty, guy?
Suddenly the blood didn't taste nearly as good. In fact, I kind of wanted a drink of something stronger to wash it out of my mouth. I immediately pulled away and started backing up across the room.
“Problem?” Sally asked.
“I'm sorry. I just can't do this.”
“You've got to be kidding me! What are you, a fucking vegan?”
“Aw, I think it's kinda cute,” Starlight cooed. “He can't bring himself to kill someone. That's almost sweet,” she said, completely misinterpreting my actions. While Sally seemed to be pretty much on the ball, this one so far hadn't given me the impress
ion that she was firing on all cylinders.
“Somehow, I doubt Jeff will think it's sweet,” said Sally. “But I guess him liking you even less isn't really going to matter much at the end of the day. You'd have been better off joining one of those hippie covens up north. Still, I guess I can't let you starve. For the next eighty-nine days or so, you're still our problem.” Oh, yeah, I was feeling the love. Sally walked over to one of the fridges, opened it, and pulled out two liters of what I assumed was blood. I wonder how many donors would be pissed to know they were doing little more than stocking some vampire's pantry. More than a few, I'd bet. Of course, this assumed the blood was from willing donors.
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