Song Chaser (Chasers)

by Kandi Steiner

  We finally reach the small opening and I release Trista’s hand. She immediately retrieves the lip gloss from her clutch and begins applying what has to be her seventh coat. I’m not huge into makeup, but right now I kind of wish I was. Trista’s sleek black hair is edgy and frames her face perfectly, drawing attention to her uniquely shaped eyes and defined cheek bones. I’m finally getting to see one of my favorite bands, now I’m just hoping they’ll notice me and not her.

  Damn, I sound like a selfish bitch.

  In my tiny hometown of Osage, regardless of my insecurities, I still knew that I stood out against many of the other girls in town. It wasn’t hard to do, seeing as how my class only had thirteen other girls in it. That’s how a lot of the schools are in upstate New York. But in New York City, I feel like I’m drowning in all the beauty around me. The lights, the girls, the thousands of eyes that surround me.

  Like the honey colored eyes that belong to the boy from The Box.

  I have never seen eyes like that before. They were brown, but almost golden, like the maple syrup that runs so thick on my family’s farm upstate. It had been three days, yet still they were seared into my mind and I felt them in my dreams.

  Don’t be stupid, Kellee. Sal told me about him after he left that night, about how his whole world revolves around a girl from Florida.

  Figures, just my luck.

  “I’m going to go get a drink, do you want anything?” Trista asks, fastening her clutch.

  “No, I’m not really in the mood to drink tonight,” I say, knowing I want to be completely sober for the entire night so that I don’t miss a thing. “But hurry back, it’s already crazy packed in here and people are going to push this spot.”

  She nods dismissively and starts typing on her phone as she wades through the crowd towards the bar. I pull my phone from my pocket and snap a picture of the stage, wanting to remember everything. Even though I’m standing by myself, the biggest smile is plastered on my face. I feel bad being here, like I’m betraying my dad and doing something I shouldn’t be doing. I feel like I’m pulling something my mom would pull. But, if I’m being completely honest, I couldn’t be happier than I am right now.

  “I wouldn’t stand there if I were you,” I hear a smooth voice say in my right ear. I jump a little and turn to meet those damn honey eyes. It’s the guy from The Box, and if it’s possible he looks even sexier than he did a few nights ago. He’s got a Bad News Love Story t-shirt hugging the deeply tanned muscles of his arms and his faded gray jeans are hanging off his hips in the most delicious way. His shaggy light brown hair is tousled and I instantly want to run my fingers through it, maybe grip just a little too tight and see how he reacts. To top it all off, he’s got the same sexy half smile that he had the other night and I instantly feel my inner thighs tighten. “It’s Kellee, right?”

  I smile, trying to put on the same cocky façade I did the first time we met. I can tell he’s not used to a girl calling him on his bullshit, and I kind of like the surprised look he gets when I challenge him. “Wow, good memory. I figured you would have sang to three too many women by now to remember my name.”

  He laughs, “I don’t make the ‘I’ll sing if you come home with me’ promise to just anyone, Freckles.”

  I scrunch my nose up at the nickname, “You’ve referred to getting me in bed only twice now and we’re already giving nicknames? I don’t even know your real name.”

  His eyes dazzle as he reaches for my hand, “Tanner West.”

  I smile as I take his hand in return, “Freckles Brooks, nice to officially meet you. Now, are you going to tell me why you’re stalking me?”

  His sexy half grin bursts into a full blown smile, “I’m not stalking you. I haven’t missed a BNLS show since I moved to New York. And I’m being serious, you shouldn’t stand there.”

  I cock my brow at him, “Are you trying to steal my spot?”

  Suddenly, a loud screeching of guitar strings rings deafeningly loud in my ears and I instinctively cover them with my hands. I look to the stage and see a member of the set up crew testing the lead singer’s guitar.

  I turn back to Tanner, who’s now sporting the biggest shit-eating grin I’ve seen. “Nope, just trying to save those precious eardrums of yours.”

  I roll my eyes, noting now that the spot I claimed is directly in front of one of the large speakers. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I retrieve it to see a text from Trista.

  - Couldn’t find you in the crowd, I’m just going to go back to the dorm. I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow? –

  I curse under my breath as I type a response.

  - Yeah, see you tomorrow. –

  I want to scream at her in all caps, but I’ve never been a fan of confrontation and honestly I was lucky to get her to come out with me at all. Trista has been my roommate since freshman year and I consider her one of my best friends in the city, but we are two very different people. She’s very bold and brutally honest, and usually doesn’t have a problem telling anyone how it really is. I feel like I have some of the same qualities, but I have this really shitty characteristic that seems to mask it.

  I’m nice.

  Which I’ve been told is a good thing, but in my experience it just gets you hurt.

  “Everything okay? I feel like I should save your phone from that death grip,” Tanner says, eying me with that same smile on his face.

  I sigh, “Yeah, my roommate just bailed, so now I’m here alone. It’s not a big deal or anything, I was just looking forward to having her here with me so I wouldn’t be a loser standing here by myself. But whatever, it’s my first time seeing this band and they’re one of my favorites, so I’m not going to let her leaving ruin my night.”

  “Well, lucky for you, I’m here,” he grabs my hand and pulls me closer to his spot, nudging a few of the guys around him to make room. “And I’m also a certified Ear Drum Lifeguard, so it’s my duty to remove you from your treasured spot there.”

  I’m about to offer my rebuttal when the lights go down and the crowd starts screaming wildly. Tanner pulls me in front of him, grabbing my hips and placing my back against his chest. “You said this is your first show of theirs?”

  I nod, knowing he wouldn’t hear me unless I turned around and screamed above the noise. He leans into my ear again and his hot breath on my skin sends chills cascading down my body, “Good. Consider this the first of many firsts with me.”

  I swallow, and as the band takes the stage, I’ve somehow lost the ability to scream.

  * * *

  “That was incredible!” I scream, adrenaline still rushing through my veins as we spill out onto the New York City streets with the rest of the crowd. I can still feel the music pumping through me, packing my nerves full of energy.

  “Yeah, they were pretty good tonight. I think that’s the best I’ve seen them play,” Tanner says calmly, smiling at what I’m sure is my outrageous bouncing-walk that I’m currently doing.

  “How can you be so calm right now? I feel so alive! Like I could run a marathon!” I jog around him and spin in circles, laughing.

  “I guess we should get to work on your qualifying times, Frecks. The New York City Marathon is in just a couple of months,” he jokes, grabbing my shoulders and stopping me mid-spin. He brushes a strand of hair from my face and my erratic breathing suddenly catches in my chest. Those honey eyes are glowing in the city lights, and I instantly want to throw what Sal said out the window and move in closer. But, my gut tells me there’s trouble waiting behind those eyes.

  I giggle nervously and pull back from his touch, falling in step beside him as we continue walking. “Thanks for standing with me. I can never find anyone to go to those kind of concerts with me.”

  “Don’t sweat it. I’m surprised you were there, I don’t know many girls who are into the underground scene unless they were introduced by a boyfriend,” he cocks his brow at me, like he’s waiting to see if that’s exactly the case with me.

  “Nope,
no boyfriend influence here. I’ve loved them since I was a sophomore in high school. I would have seen them earlier, but I was always too scared to go by myself.”

  “So what changed this time?” He asks, his arm subtly grazing mine as we walk.

  “I decided over the summer that I wasn’t going to give a shit this year. I was going to stop letting fears hold me back from doing what I wanted to do. So even though I finally convinced someone to go with me tonight, it actually didn’t bother me when she left because I had already decided I was going with or without her.” I think about my mom, wondering if maybe she made the same selfish decisions that have recently been running through my mind. Everyone always says I’m so much like her, and even though I wish they weren’t right, I can’t help but wonder if they are.

  Tanner smiles, “Well let’s be honest, you obviously weren’t going to leave once you saw that I was there.”

  “Oh please. Can’t you just admit that you’re stalking me, already?”

  He laughs again, “I told you, I don’t miss BNLS shows. But I do believe you when you said you haven’t ever been to one before.”

  “Why, because I stood in the ‘you’re stupid if you stand there’ spot? Maybe I just like my concerts loud,” I shoot back, letting my arm continue to graze his as we walk. I know I should pull back. I should walk away and realize his honey eyes are set on another girl and not me, that I’d be a selfish bitch to let him feel anything for me at all being that my mother’s blood runs through these veins. But for some reason, it’s like he’s gravity – and I’m helpless to escape him.

  “No, that’s not why,” he says, grabbing me to make me stop and face him. “I just know that I would never forget if I had seen your face before.” His eyes search mine and once again, I’m at a loss for words.

  And breath.

  “Are you hungry?” he asks, and everything inside me wants to scream that I’m starving if it means he will take me somewhere. But Sal’s voice is ringing louder in my head, and I know I’d be stupid to let myself take this night any further.

  “No, and I actually really need to get home. I’ve got class early in the morning,” I signal for a cab and turn back to Tanner just as one pulls up. “Thanks again for standing with me.”

  I slide into the cab and go to close the door, but Tanner catches it. “Come home with me, Freckles,” he says, his eyes on fire as he gazes down at me. My insides clench in response and I want nothing more than to pull him into the cab with me.

  “I can’t,” I breathe softly, my voice just barely above a whisper. I’m faltering and I know he can see it. I lift my chest and struggle to find my confidence again, “I still haven’t heard you sing.” I wink and pull the door closed. As the cab pulls away, I turn around and pray that I’ll see Tanner walking away. But instead, he’s standing in the same place with a huge smile on his face.

  And his eyes look more determined than ever.

  Chapter 3

  Please Be Jealous

  Tanner

  The huge smile that’s always cemented on my face when I’m inside Bellevue Hospital instantly vanishes as soon as I walk through the doors and I’m back on the New York City streets. I wish it would stay, wish there was something – anything – that could make me as happy as those kids make me. But there’s only one person who has that power, and right now she’s probably curled up in the arms of the one military douchebag who was lucky enough to get her to stay with him.

  Fucker.

  Although, I can’t deny that I wasn’t genuinely smiling when I ran into the bartender from The Box last week. I still can’t believe she was at an underground concert. I’ve never met a girl who was into the same music as me, which is surprising seeing as how music is probably the most important thing to me other than school and my career. Frankly, I don’t know how the band played with her perfect breasts pushed up in that BNLS tank she was wearing. I had to stuff my hands in my pockets to fight the urge to reach out and pull her to me every time I saw the lead singer glance down at her. I wanted him to know she was with me, but then I remembered.

  She wasn’t.

  I shake my head and dig in my scrub pocket for my phone, hitting Dad’s picture on my missed calls screen. After a few rings, his strong voice beats through the speaker, “Hey, son. Just waking up? Lazy bum.”

  I smile, “Ha ha, very funny. I think I’m in love with my bed; I’ve been thinking about it non-stop for about three hours now.” I work the night shifts on most Saturdays and put in a lot of my residency hours during this shift. I already work way more than I’m required, but I love being with the kids, so I just go even if I’m not scheduled to be there.

  “Well, I’m not sure she’ll make a very pretty bride, but at least you don’t have to worry about her cheating,” Dad jokes. “Your mom and I are on our way out to do some golfing with the Carters.”

  “Oh boy, and by that I’m assuming you mean that you and Mr. Carter are going to golf while Mom and Cindy giggle and drink wine coolers in the golf cart?”

  Dad laughs, “You know us so well. I just called earlier to see if you were still planning on coming home for Thanksgiving. I know it’s still a ways away, but you know your mother.” I can almost feel Dad rolling his eyes, thinking about all the preparation that goes into one holiday dinner. I swear my mom starts thinking about Christmas dinner in April.

  “Oh yeah, I know,” I laugh, too. “Yeah, I still think I’ll be able to come. But it depends on if they need me here at the hospital. I’ll keep you posted.”

  “Well you know I know what that’s like, but it sure would be nice to see you,” Dad says. He has his own practice now, but he worked in various hospitals in the ER all through his twenties and early thirties.

  Dad grows quiet on the other end, and I know before he asks that he’s worried about how I am. He’s been there for more than one of my drunken episodes over Paisley, and I’ve definitely given him reason to worry, but he’s never chastised me for it. He understands, probably more than anyone.

  “I’m fine, Dad. Stop worrying over there, you’re stressing me out,” I joke, trying to lighten the sudden shift of mood.

  Dad sighs, “I know, I’m sorry. I just want you to know I’m still here, always here, even if you just need me to crack open a beer with you over the phone.”

  I laugh, “I might take you up on that soon, but right now I just want to sleep.” I’ve reached the subway and I always lose service once I go underground, so I lean against the railing at the top of the stairs and try again to reassure him. “I really am okay, though. It’s not going to be easy, not for a long time, but I’m okay. Being at the hospital helps the most.”

  “Well then it’s a good thing you love what you do. I’m proud of you, son.”

  I can’t help but beam when the words leave his mouth. I’ve always wanted to be like my dad, and even though he’s never been shy about telling me he loves me or that he’s proud of me, it still means something to me every time he says it.

  My phone beeps in my ear and I see Benny’s face light up the screen. “Thanks, Dad. I gotta run, Benny’s calling on the other line. Have fun golfing and tell Mom I said not to drink and drive at the same time – pun intended.”

  Dad laughs his deep belly laugh, “I’ll do that. Call me this week sometime for that beer.”

  I smile and end the call, switching over to Benny.

  “Bro, please tell me you saw the new residents when you were leaving this morning. There are two blonde twins in this class. TWINS.” Benny is a lot like me, hell I’d even go as far as to say he’s practically my twin, except that he isn’t as stupid as I am and he actually avoids falling in love. I always thought I was smart enough to escape it, too – but Paisley ate right through that notion.

  “Na, I didn’t see them. You know me, I’m pretty focused when I’m in there.”

  “Yeah yeah, whatever,” Benny says, dismissing me. “You going to The Box tonight?”

  “I don’t know, I’ve been at the
hospital for fourteen hours and I really want to enter into a long-term relationship with my bed right now.” I know I’m bullshitting, since sleep is something I rarely see anymore, but I’m not sure I’m up for a night out.

  “Aw come on, man! Some of the newbies are coming out, including those twins, and I really need my wing man. Besides, that hot little bartender is supposed to be working tonight, and I think she has the hots for me.”

  I perk up at the mention of Kellee, “Kellee is going to be there?”

  “If Kellee is the smoking hot blonde with the killer legs and perfect rack, then yes.”

  I want to shove my fist through the phone and punch Benny square in his jaw, which is fucking ridiculous seeing as how I’ve talked to this girl twice. I shake my head, “Yeah man, I’ll come. Just meet at my place at ten and we can get a cab together.”

  “Fuck yeah! Maybe we can get T Dubs back on his game,” he laughs. “Oh, and by the way, I’m bringing the twins. See you at ten!” He hangs up and my “Wait, Benny!” goes unheard. I curse under my breath and shove my phone back in my pocket as I head downstairs to the subway.

  This should be interesting.

  * * *

  We stumble out of the cab and into The Box around eleven. When Benny showed up at my place with the twins, they were actually much hotter than I gave him credit for over the phone. I guess I should have trusted his judgment, but he doesn’t exactly have the best track record.

  He staked his claims on Bailey, the oldest twin by two minutes, and that left me with Bethany. We pre-gamed a little harder than necessary and now our arms are slung over the twins and their hands are roaming our bodies like we aren’t in public as we join the rest of the residents inside The Box.

  Bethany is still telling me about the “amazing deal” she got on the dress she’s wearing as we wade through the crowd. I told her it looked nice on her in the cab, not knowing that would open the floodgate for a play-by-play of how it got in her closet. She may be hot, but I honestly want to slam my head into the bar. I could have better conversations with a chalkboard.