Song Chaser (Chasers)

by Kandi Steiner

  “Whatever you’re making smells amazing.”

  “Really? I was so sure the rat poison would seep through.”

  He laughs, “Nope, can’t smell it at all. Looks like you’ll have a dead man without any hassle.”

  “Whew,” I wipe my forehead. “What a relief.” I laugh a little, but then my smile fades as I remember our conversation from earlier at Sal’s. I just want to tell him never mind, to tell him that I can’t meet Paisley. I also kind of want to punch him in the face for asking me in the first place.

  His smile fades a little, too, as his eyes devour my body – slowly gliding from my eyes, down to my legs, and then back up. “Come here,” he says in his low voice.

  I take a few steps toward him before he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him, his hand brushing the side of my face and moving into my hair. “How are you?”

  I try to look away from him, but he gently pulls my chin back so that his eyes meet mine. “I’m okay,” I lie.

  He frowns, a soft wrinkle forming between his brows. “You’re lying. Talk to me.”

  I sigh, breaking free from his hold and crossing the room to pull a beer from the refrigerator. I pop it open and hand it to Tanner, “I don’t know, Tanner. I’m as good as I can be after having the guy I made out with three days ago tell me he wants me to meet the woman he’s in love with.”

  Tanner’s shoulders fall and he sets the bottle down without taking a drink, “Shit, I’m sorry, Kellee. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” His eyes fall a little and he sits down at the dining table, peeling the label off his beer. “Hell, I don’t even know if I really want to see her. Part of me is excited, part of me is still pissed off,” he sighs heavily, leaning back in his chair and looking at me again. “And another part of me is just scared shitless of what I’m going to feel when I see them together.”

  God, I want to be mad. I want to be pissed off enough to kick him out of my apartment. But right now, with his shoulders slumped over and his brows furrowed together in pain, I can’t find any other emotion to feel for him but sympathy. And something else that I shouldn’t be feeling, something way too strong for how long I’ve known him.

  I sigh, plopping down into the chair next to him. “I’m not going to let you go through that alone, Tanner. I’m going to be there,” I bite my lip, choosing my next words carefully. “But I need to know where I stand. I’m not saying I need you to make any promises that you can’t keep or anything, but I need to know what this is,” I motion between us. “What we are.”

  He smiles again, making my stomach flip. “Are we something?”

  I smile too, half pissed at myself for it and half not giving a shit. “I just mean that I need to know what I am to you, what you want from me,” I chew the inside of my cheek, hesitant to ask what I really want to. “Are you just using me to make Paisley mad?”

  Tanner’s smile fades abruptly, concern replacing the curiosity. He moves to kneel on the floor in front of my chair, taking my waist in his hands again. “I’m not using you for anything, Frecks. Look at me,” he pulls my chin up, melting my fucking panties with those honey eyes of his. “I don’t know what this is yet. I sure as hell have no idea what I want, not just with you but with life in general. I’m fucked up, I can’t deny that. She broke me. But, I wasn’t lying when I said those things to you today. You’re finding me. You’re bringing back the parts of myself that I thought I had lost forever.” He sighs, his head falling a little. “I can’t promise anything right now other than to not bullshit with you. I will never lie to you about what I’m feeling, or where my head’s at, and right now – my head is completely focused on you.”

  My heart feels like it’s about to beat right out of my chest. Tanner is looking at me like he’s not good enough to touch me and like he can’t keep his fucking hands off me all at the same time. I inhale deep, my breath shaky as I try to find the words to say. I want to talk about it more – about what she is to him, about when she’s coming and what I’m going to have to deal with – but right now all I can think about is how his hands feel on my waist, and how I wish he would touch every inch of my body with those hands.

  “Kiss me,” I breathe.

  Tanner doesn’t waste another second. His lips find mine, soft and gentle at first, but then a fire consumes us both and I’m biting his neck as he lifts me from my chair. He kisses down my collarbone and then back up to my ear, sending chills cascading down my arms and legs. I moan softly, running my fingers through his hair and tugging a little as I pull his lips back to mine. He slides his tongue between my lips and takes my mouth, deepening the kiss as his hands explore my body.

  “How long until dinner?” he pants between kisses.

  “Maybe twenty minutes.”

  “That’ll do,” he replies, carrying me to the couch.

  Tanner’s hands are hungry as he positions himself on top of me, pulling the straps of my tank top down to kiss my shoulders. He nips and sucks softly, trailing a line from my shoulders, to my neck, across my collar bone, and back again. Slowly, he kisses a little lower, sucking at the swell just above the hem of my top. I inhale sharply, my fingers gripping his hair.

  “You taste so sweet,” he mumbles against my skin, lighting it on fire. He lifts my shirt and slowly kisses down my stomach, stopping just above the hem of my shorts. He blazes a trail of fire with his tongue from one hip to the other, working the buttons and zipper until he has my shorts loose enough to pull down my shaking legs and throw across the room. He smiles up at me, his sexy half grin silently killing me, and then he completely takes my breath away – because he pulls my panties off with his teeth.

  With. His. Teeth.

  Suddenly, my heart is beating in my throat. I’m not a virgin, but I’m definitely nowhere near as experienced as Tanner, no matter how cocky my façade may be. My legs are shaking uncontrollably and I feel it start to move up to my hands. Tanner stops kissing my thighs and looks up at me, his face laden with concern.

  “Are you okay?” he asks, moving to position himself on top of me again. He brushes the hair from my face and pulls my shaking hand to his lips, kissing my fingers softly as he waits for me to reply.

  I nod, though not confidently. “I hate admitting this to you, but I’m not that experienced.”

  He smiles devilishly, his eyes lighting the fire in my stomach again. “You think I don’t know that? Why do you think I’m going so slow?”

  I let out of a puff of air, “This is slow?”

  His grin grows wider, “Trust me – if I had it my way, your ankles would have been on my shoulders the first night I saw you.”

  I swallow hard, desperately wanting that to happen right now, but also insanely terrified.

  “Relax,” he says, kissing my fingers one last time before sliding back down my body. He bites the inside of my left thigh and I arch my back in response. “I’m not taking you tonight, not yet. When I do, you’ll be ready – and I will hear you scream my name.”

  I inhale sharply as he bites and sucks at my thighs, moving achingly close to where I really want his mouth to be. He trails his tongue along the crease of my legs and hips and I moan uncontrollably.

  “Tanner,” I whisper, moaning at the pleasure his mouth is causing.

  He smiles against my skin, “Damn, I might just like when you moan it better than when you scream it.” Finally, he closes the gap and his mouth is on me. He flicks his tongue against my clit, circling wildly and alternating with sucking and biting. My skin is on fire, every sense awakened in this moment.

  I let my head fall back and the moans escaping my lips grow louder, more intense. Tanner growls, “You taste so fucking good, Kellee.”

  His words send chills racing up my body and I feel my nipples pucker under my top. I grab a pillow and bite down hard, trying to calm my moaning, but Tanner rips it away from me.

  “Hell no, I want to hear you. I want to memorize what you sound like coming for me.”

  Without
warning, he slides his fingers inside me and begins working them in rhythm with his tongue. The combination is too much. I bite my lip, trying to fight off the scream threatening to escape my throat, but it’s no use. I’ve never had a man touch me like this, never experienced an electricity so powerful. I clench my thighs, grabbing Tanner’s head to pull his mouth closer.

  And then I explode.

  Pleasure courses through me like a rolling thunder, rumbling from my core to my toes. I can’t tell if I’m screaming loudly or whimpering, maybe both, but everything is muffled by the mind numbing electricity ripping me apart.

  When it finally calms and my body floats down, Tanner kisses me one last time before climbing back up to kiss my lips. He tugs on my bottom lip before sliding his tongue inside my mouth and I taste him mixed with me, a sweet combination.

  “Well, I guess we can cross off another first,” I pant, my breathing still erratic from my orgasm.

  Tanner quirks a brow, “We can?”

  I nod, “I’ve never had a guy, you know, do that.” Not that they haven’t tried, but I guess I never really wanted it. I never really felt the desire for it.

  Until now.

  He smiles his sexy half smile, pulling me in for another long, deep kiss. “I think I fucked up your dinner.”

  “No, I think there’s still a few minutes left. It shouldn’t have burned or anything,” I lean up, checking the time on the oven.

  He laughs softly, pulling me to sit on his lap. “I mean by having dessert, first.”

  I smile as he kisses me, my body throbbing with the memory of his tongue. I think maybe there should always be dessert before dinner.

  And after.

  And during.

  And just pretty much all the fucking time.

  Chapter 9

  Messy

  Tanner

  “Alright, your turn,” I take another swig of my beer and pull Kellee in closer, breathing in the cool, crisp city air. I absentmindedly run my fingers through her hair, catching her scent every now and then in the wind. She always smells so damn good, like bubblegum and the beach. It’s funny, she’s from upstate New York, but I swear she reminds me of Florida.

  The last week and a half has dragged by, mostly because for once I have actually been distracted from the hospital. Usually, I go in for extra hours. I clock in early and never leave when I’m supposed to. But now, it’s all I can do to not stare at the clock between patients, counting the minutes until I get to see Kellee. My schoolwork has fallen behind a little, which is definitely not like me, and I’m pretty sure my abs are going to turn into a beer gut for all the gym time I’ve missed – but I can’t help it. My best days are with Kellee, and any nights without her feel like endless black holes. I can’t figure out what it is, but this girl has me under a fucking spell.

  Today was probably the longest day so far. I woke up to a text from Paisley with the details for tomorrow night. She landed at the JFK airport this morning, and something about knowing she’s in the same city as me instantly put me on edge. All day I’ve been wound tighter than a fucking lynch rope, but the minute Kellee opened her door and I saw her long blonde hair curled, her freckles dancing on her skin, her jeans painted on so tight it’s not even fair – well, let’s just say I forgot about everything else.

  “Hmm, let’s see…” Kellee’s head is resting on my chest as we swing in the makeshift hammock we hung in the garden rooftop of her apartment building. It’s pretty much abandoned, the plants dying out much like the foliage in the High Line, but Kellee has been watering the ones still living and adding plants of her own. It’s not much of a rooftop, very small, but alone up here with her – it feels like our own personal paradise in the city.

  We’re playing 21 Questions and as much as I’d rather be playing a completely different type of game with her, I’m actually enjoying learning more about her. Each question she answers lets me inside a little more. She usually strays away from the tough ones, but I’ve learned that her favorite color is yellow, she used to have a stuffed animal squirrel that she dragged everywhere with her, she loves music more than anything and hates majoring in business when she would rather major in music education, and she has a fear of toilet paper sticking to her shoe in a public place.

  So basically, she’s fucking adorable.

  She did get a little deep when she told me why she doesn’t drink. Just like she said at the High Line, she has drank before, but it’s not her thing. Apparently her mom started drinking pretty heavily in the last few months before she left. I can’t say it was a surprise when she told me. I haven’t met many people who aren’t drinkers, but the ones who aren’t usually associate drinking with a negative experience. At least Kellee isn’t bitchy about it. I don’t know if I could give up my Jack and Coke.

  Well, unless she really asked me to.

  And begged with those pretty pouty lips of hers.

  Maybe got down on her knees…

  “Oh okay, I don’t think you’ve told me this yet. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?” Kellee asks, snapping me back to the moment.

  I smile, pulling the blanket up over us a little more, adjusting myself as coyly as I can since the image of her on her knees is still playing in my head. It’s just cold enough that we can see our breath slightly as it floats above us with each word. The stars aren’t very bright in the city, but the higher you get – the more you can see them. I’ve never really star gazed in New York City before, but I’m pretty sure the stars are shining brighter tonight than they ever did when I was at school in Florida. The only place that might compare is home, but then again there are few places that have a better view of the stars than middle-of-nowhere Georgia.

  “I wanted to be exactly what I am right now.”

  “What? Cuddled up in a blanket with a girl?” She peers up at me and my smile grows wider.

  “Well no, but I’m sure it would have been part of the plan at some point,” I wink and pull her in closer. “But what I meant was that I’ve always wanted to go to school to be a doctor. I didn’t realize I wanted to work in pediatrics until I was in high school, but I always knew I wanted to be a doctor like my dad. I looked up to him so much when I was growing up – I still do, really. He just has his shit together, he taught me the kind of man I want to be.”

  “He sounds like a great man,” Kellee says, but it’s so hard to focus on her words when I feel her pressing closer to me. Her body is fucking intoxicating. “I respect you for wanting to work with kids. I love my little cousins, but I’ve been on birth control since I was sixteen because there’s no way I could handle having something so small and innocent depend on me right now. I think it’s sweet that you want to be a part of kids’ lives.”

  I laugh, “Was that your subtle way of letting me know you’re on birth control, Frecks?” She blushes harder than I’ve ever seen before and I poke her side playfully. “I’m just kidding. But you’re right, my dad is a pretty great guy. It sounds like your dad is, too.”

  “Yeah, he really is,” she hesitates a moment before continuing. “I just wish he would support me out here, I wish he didn’t see me like he sees my mom.”

  I tilt her chin up so her eyes meet mine, “He will. Give him time, he’ll realize that you did what you needed to do, and that it was the best move you made.”

  She shakes her head, “I don’t think time is going to help. It’s been over three years.”

  “Just wait, he’ll come around. No one could turn their back on a daughter like you.”

  She smiles softly, “You really are kind of sweet, Tanner West.”

  “Don’t tell anyone,” I reply, lifting her lips to meet mine. I kiss her lips softly, running my fingers through her curls. Sweet is definitely not a word I would use to describe myself. I think this girl sees more of the good in me than really exists.

  Kellee pulls back, her lips flushed, “Your turn, slick.”

  “I think you kind of like playing 21 Questions.”r />
  Her eyes catch the moonlight and glimmer as her lips turn up into a beautiful smile, “Yeah, I guess so. Maybe I should change my major and be a professional interrogator.”

  I laugh, “I don’t think anyone would be opposed to being locked in a room with you for hours on end.”

  She nudges me playfully, “Hit me with your question.”

  “Okay. Who have you not seen in concert yet that you want to see?”

  “Oh man, I have to pick just one?”

  “Yep. The one you want to see the most.”

  She scrunches up her nose and forehead in deep concentration. It’s so fucking cute I really want to just kiss her again and drop the questions thing, but I also really want to know more about her. My brain is in a raging war with my hormones right now.

  “Well, it’s really hard to limit it down to just one because there are so many I still want to see, but my favorite band of all time is The Loner Boys. I think I would pass out if I ever got to see them.”

  No. Fucking. Way.

  Did this girl just say she loves The Loner Boys? As in my favorite band of all time?

  “I can’t believe you just said that,” I say, shaking my head. “I fucking love The Loner Boys. I seriously don’t even have one other friend who knows who they are, not even the guys who hang out at the High Line.”

  She shrugs, “I guess I’m just different.” She looks up at me again, smiling. The cool air combines with the moonlight to illuminate her skin and her lips are practically begging me to kiss them again. She’s so fucking beautiful.

  “You’re not just different, you’re exceptional. And I think it’s time that I make you feel that way, too.” I lick my lower lip before pulling her into me again. She laughs against my kiss and pushes on my chest lightly.

  “Wait. I want one more question. You’ve had seven and I’ve only had six.”

  I groan, “You’re killing me here.”

  “Please,” she draws out the word and gives me her best puppy eyes. “Just one more.”