Her lips smile under my hand and her eyes intensify as she uses her thighs to ride me. Each time she pushes down and I slide deeper inside her I have to fight myself to keep from cursing. I bite my lip and let my free hand explore her perfect body, unclasping her bra and ripping it off before pulling her nipple between my fingers. I gently roll it before sucking it between my teeth. Kellee breathes heavy against my hand, her head falling back at the same time a small whimper vibrates through my fingers.
“Fuck, Kellee. I’m not going to last,” I bite the skin on her neck and use my hips to meet her thrusts with my own, pushing in deeper. She tenses and her hands fly up to grab the forearm of the hand against her mouth. She grips me hard, her nails digging into my skin as her body shakes violently. My eyes roll back at the feel of her coming and I release with her, my breath stuck in my chest as waves of electrifying pleasure course through me. Kellee bites my hand and everything intensifies, the electricity burning every inch of my skin.
This girl really is a fucking drug.
She’s still shaking as I remove my hand from her mouth and replace it with my lips, softly kissing her and running my fingertips along her thighs. Our breaths slow, and that same feeling from earlier comes rushing over me. I try to fight it, try to keep it down and sew my lips shut but the words are battling their way through.
“Kellee,” I breathe, my voice low.
“Don’t,” she stops me, pressing her lips to mine again. “Don’t ruin it with words. Just kiss me.”
The same voice in my head that told me to talk to her about her dad is urging me to say what I want to say, to cross into the territory we’re playing in anyway but I do as she says and kiss her, instead. She knows what I was going to say and I think she feels the same, but she’s not ready to go there. So I’ll wait.
Hell, I’d wait forever for this girl.
I lay her down on the couch and pull a blanket up over us, kissing her lips, her neck, tugging her earlobe into my mouth and then moving back to kiss her lips again. I kiss her more and more, my hands roaming every inch of her, claiming her as mine. I want her more than anything I’ve ever wanted. I can’t get enough. Every kiss is too short, every touch leaves so much more to be desired.
Before long, she’s distracting me all over again.
Chapter 22
Maybe
Kellee
“You think you’ll keep Peanut in here after we get home?” I ask Tanner, my bare feet propped up on the dashboard as we ride back to his aunt’s house to drop off the car. I still can’t wrap my mind around how much has changed in just a few days. Wednesday night we were driving in this same car and barely talking, trying not to cross the line of “just friends”. Now, on Sunday, we’re trying to fight the urge to pull over and have our way with each other on the side of I-85.
I like this car ride much better.
“Meh, I guess I should keep him. Although, the girl who gave him to me is kind of crazy. Hopefully it’s not some kind of voodoo squirrel.”
I smack his arm playfully and turn up the music, the newest Loner Boys song playing on the radio. The concert is less than two weeks away but I don’t know how I’m going to wait that long. I’ve wanted to see them in concert for years, and now not only am I going to finally get to, but I’ll be there with Tanner. Everything is so perfect right now. I almost feel like I should pinch myself and wake the fuck up, but maybe it’s finally my time. Maybe it’s supposed to feel like this.
I just don’t know if I can let myself feel like this.
The rest of the weekend at his parents’ house was incredible, but every amazing moment made me feel deeper for him. He never pushed me after that night by the fire, never said the words we both knew were lingering between us. I’m glad he didn’t, I don’t want to ruin what we have by moving too fast. I just want to live in what we have right now, to take it all in and figure it out together.
“Frecks,” Tanner turns down the music and I turn to face him. “I need to ask you something. It’s kind of lame, so you have to promise not to laugh.”
I smile, “I can’t make promises with an introduction like that.”
His sexy half smile creeps onto his face, “Why do you have to be so difficult?”
“Are you going to ask me your lame question or what?”
He shakes his head, “Fine. When we get back to the city, I don’t want you with anyone else. I don’t want to be with anyone else, either.” He looks at me, waiting.
“So…” I lift my brow. I know exactly what he’s going to ask and he’s right, it’s super fucking lame but I kind of want to hear him ask anyway.
“So,” he grabs his phone and types out something. A few seconds later, my own phone vibrates with a text from him.
- Will you be my girlfriend? Check yes or no. –
I smile, “What? No ‘maybe’ box?”
He glares at me and I laugh, taking his hand. “I’m done being just friends, Tanner. I pick you, remember?”
He returns my smile and grips my hand a little tighter. “I’m the luckiest boy in second grade.”
* * *
The cab pulls up outside my apartment and as much as I’m happy to be back in the city, I can’t deny that I’m dreading going back to work and school. Being in Georgia with Tanner was like escaping reality and living in a fantasy world where responsibilities didn’t exist. Tanner convinced me to go talk to Academic Services tomorrow about changing my major. Everything he was saying the other night sounded amazing, and I want nothing more than to go after a career that I know will make me happy, but my stomach is still tied in knots just thinking about making the change.
Even more so when I think about telling my dad.
“What time do you have to be at the hospital tomorrow?” I ask, adjusting the strap of my bag on my shoulder. Tanner is standing with the cab door still open, leaning gently against the front end of the trunk. His dark jeans and NYU hoodie paired with his disheveled hair from the car ride make him look so comfortable and sexy. All I want is to take him upstairs and lie in bed with him.
Okay, so that’s not all I want.
“I don’t have to be in until noon, but I’ll probably go in a little earlier,” his mouth pulls sideways. “I want to go to Mariah’s service on Tuesday, if her family is okay with it, so I need to talk to her mom.”
I step closer and tuck my hands into the front pocket of his hoodie, “I don’t just think they’ll be okay with it, I think they’ll want it more than anything.”
He shrugs softly, his eyes looking into mine. “Will you come with me?”
It breaks my heart the way he asks, like he’s a little boy asking when dad is coming home. His brows are furrowed together and his eyes soft against the sunset light of the city.
“Of course I’ll go with you.”
He smiles and pushes his hands inside his hoodie with mine, interlocking our fingers.
“Well, I guess I should go unpack,” he pushes off the cab and leans in to press a soft kiss on my lips.
“Can’t you stay?” I ask against his mouth, a simple kiss making me want so much more. “Come upstairs and let me make you dinner.”
He smiles and pulls back, his brows raised in amusement. “I really should go home, but you might be able to convince me to stay. If…” his voice trails off.
“If what?”
“You let me have dessert before dinner again,” he flashes his sexy as hell sideways grin at me and I swear my panties spontaneously combust.
“Oh, well in that case,” I pull my hands from his pockets and turn toward my apartment building, trying to hide the smile making its way to my lips.
Tanner grabs my wrist and swings me around, pressing his lips hard against mine, “You’re pretty sexy when you storm away from me.”
“Hm,” I kiss him again, still smiling. “Just don’t make me do it when I’m actually pissed off.”
The cab driver clears her throat, “Listen this is cute and all, but if you’re staying then
I need to get back on the road and find another customer.”
I giggle and feel the heat rush to my cheeks as Tanner grabs his bag and pays her. She pulls away and Tanner looks back at me, swinging his bag over his shoulder. “Looks like you’re stuck with me, Frecks. How about that dessert?”
I glare at him but can’t fight the corners of my mouth as they stay turned up in a smile. “Dinner first, Rico Suave.”
He grabs my hand and we take the elevator up to my floor. I want so badly to push the emergency stop button and have a little fun but I refrain. When I push the door to my apartment open, I’m greeted with a strong cloud of what smells like nail polish remover.
Damn. Trista must be home.
“Okay, we really need to discuss your polish colors because I left mine at home and only had yours to choose from and let’s just say,” Trista rounds the corner talking a mile a minute but stutters a bit when she sees Tanner. “… it’s not really much of a choice if there’s only three colors. Hi, Tanner.” She’s holding her hands out from her body, fingers spread, and her left brow is arching toward the ceiling as her eyes shift between me and Tanner.
“Hey, Trista. Did you have a good Thanksgiving?” Tanner asks, setting his bag down on the couch and taking mine off my shoulder.
“It was fine,” she says before turning her attention to me. “How was your Thanksgiving, Kel?”
I bite my lip to keep from smiling and shrug a little, “It was nice.”
“I’ll bet,” she murmurs under her breath while simultaneously giving me the what-the-fuck-we-need-to-talk look.
“I was just going to make dinner for us,” I say, moving into the kitchen to assess the ingredients we have on hand. “Do you want some? We’re both so sick of Thanksgiving leftovers so I was thinking about making enchiladas.”
Trista’s brow is still up so high on her forehead I’m afraid it might get stuck there. She shakes her head, “No, I just ate and I’m supposed to meet up with my study group. We have a presentation tomorrow and of course none of us did a damn thing over break.” She seems to relax a little, throwing up her hands and turning toward me. “I mean seriously, what kind of professor makes a presentation due the day after Thanksgiving break?”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. I have a paper due that I’ve written all of three words for.” I took my laptop with me to Tanner’s parents’ house and I swear I had good intentions, but who wants to write about economics when there’s so much anatomy studying going on?
Trista waves her hands in the air and takes turns blowing on each nail, “Senioritis sucks. I can’t wait to be done with this shit so I can start working on making my millions.”
I laugh, but my gut sinks a little because she’s going to graduate in May and if I change my major there’s no way that will happen for me. Who will I live with? Tanner’s eyes catch mine and it’s like he knows what I’m thinking. He smiles and shakes his head, telling me not to worry – but how can I not?
“Well you two have fun,” Trista says as she slings her messenger bag over her shoulder. She gives me a final glance that lets me know I have a lot of explaining to do before grabbing the door knob. “Want to go running tomorrow before class? I need to work off all the pie I ate the past four days.”
I almost hurl thinking about pie, “Oh God, yes. I don’t even think I can see my toes anymore. Wake me up when you get up.”
“Deal,” she surveys me before turning to Tanner. “Bye, Tanner. Nice to see you again.”
He smiles his devastatingly gorgeous smile and I think I see Trista fumble with the door a bit before she finally slips outside and closes it behind her.
“So you have a paper due?” Tanner asks, walking to join me in the kitchen. I stand on my tip toes to pull down a casserole dish, but he sneaks in behind me and grabs it before I can.
“Thanks. And yes, but not until Wednesday, so don’t get any ideas about bailing.”
He throws his hands up in mock offense, “So harsh, Frecks! Besides,” he leans his mouth close to my neck so that the warmth of his breath tickles my skin. “I’m not leaving until I get dessert.”
A flutter starts in my stomach and rushes downward, making me shiver a bit. Tanner must feel it because he smiles against my neck before planting a small kiss and retreating to the couch. “So don’t take too long with dinner.”
I let out a puff of air, “Let’s just order pizza.”
Tanner lets his head fall back in laughter but I keep my face relaxed. I am so not joking.
“If that’s what you want, Frecks, I know a great place not too far from here that delivers.”
I grab my phone and unlock it, fingers at the ready. “What’s the number?”
He smiles and stretches his arms out over the top of the couch, the muscles in his arms flexing against the rolled up sleeves of his hoodie. “You know, you could have just told me you wanted me to come upstairs for a booty call.”
“It’s not a booty call if we have dinner first and cuddle after.”
“Well we haven’t made it through dinner yet,” he says as I make my way toward him, leaving my phone on the table. “And who said I’m down to cuddle?”
“Oh trust me,” I straddle him and fist my hands in his hoodie, pulling his mouth to mine. “You are so DTC.”
Tanner laughs a little but I press my lips to his harder, tired of the banter and desperate for his touch. He senses my urgency and pulls me into him, his thumbs hooking through the belt loops of my jeans.
“I wasn’t joking when I said I want dessert,” he says, nipping at my bottom lip with his teeth.
“I think it’s pretty obvious that that’s where this is heading.”
He smiles and suddenly picks me up before twisting and pressing me back down into the couch, his arms holding him above me. “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page with what dessert is,” he kisses down my neck and lifts my sweater over my head before blazing a trail down my ribs and abdomen with his lips.
Oh.
He wants dessert.
As he tugs my jeans down over my hips and bites up the inside of my thigh I let my head fall back and focus on every touch. My senses are alive, thriving in the heat building between us.
I really think I could get used to this dessert first thing.
Chapter 23
Princesses are Fearless
Tanner
Kellee grips my hand a little tighter, but I still feel numb. It’s almost unbearably cold as the snow moving in from the north threatens to let loose, but that’s not why I’m numb. Mariah’s service was today, and even though it was a beautiful service just outside the city and Kellee held my hand the entire time, I can’t help but feel robbed. I feel like Mariah was stolen from us, not just from the hospital and her family but from the world. She was too young, she was too innocent. I sound like a fucking little kid but I don’t care – it’s just not fair that she’s gone.
I asked Kellee to come here to Central Park with me after the service ended. It just didn’t feel right going home. It doesn’t really feel right to be anywhere, honestly, but at least here there’s a sense of life and nature. The air is still right now, the trees stripped bare just waiting to be covered in snow. Tomorrow morning the entire park will glisten white and it will start to feel like Christmas.
“I know this is a stupid question, but are you okay?” Kellee asks as we sit down on a bench. A few runners jog past us, their breath making tiny clouds as they pass.
“Yeah,” I exhale, turning to face her. “It’s just hard, you know.”
She nods, “Yeah, I do.” We both sit silently for a minute before she continues, “Did I ever tell you about the time my puppy, Cuddles, died?”
I lift my brows, “Um, no…”
She smiles and shakes her head, “I’m not saying it’s anything like what’s going on with Mariah, obviously, but being out here reminded me of it. She got poisoned by some asshole in our neighborhood who was tired of the dogs running around without being on a l
eash. We’re a small town so we were used to it, but he moved there from a big city and didn’t agree with it, I guess.” She shrugs, her blonde hair falling forward. “She died the night we put up Christmas decorations when I was thirteen. I remember holding her and crying so hard the Christmas lights blurred together into one multi-colored blob.”
I pull her in under my arm and she leans her head on my chest before continuing, “Anyway, I told my dad we had to bury her. Mom was already gone and when Cuddles died I felt like it was my mom dying along with her. I wanted to bury them at the same time, go through the pain all at once, so to speak.”
“I wrote a eulogy and everything,” she laughs a little. “’Today we gather to celebrate the life of Cuddles Brooks, the best dog that ever lived.’ I’m not even kidding. I made my dad, brother, and Mee Ma stand around the big shoe box we laid her to rest in while I read out a page and a half of memories. I even buried her with her favorite toy and one of my Barbies that she always liked to chew on.”
“That might be the most adorable thing you’ve ever told me,” I smile and she pulls her head from my shoulder, turning to face me.
“You know what my Mee Ma told me that night when I was crying into my pillow, convinced that life wasn’t fair and asking why God was being so mean?”
I shake my head.
“She told me I should do something to celebrate Cuddles instead of mourning her. I remember her saying that Cuddles would have wanted me to remember her, but she would have wanted me to live life to the fullest, too. The next day, Mee Ma took me into the city and we found a person who did Henna tattoos. We both got matching paw prints with angel wings and had her write Cuddles’ name underneath them. The tattoo artist was so annoyed because apparently you’re not supposed to get tattoos like that with Henna, you’re supposed to get beautiful, flowery, elegant Henna tattoos but she still agreed to do them for us.” She smiles, shaking her head. “Yeah, it was gone in a week, but I walked around school showing anyone I could while I had it and I told them the happiest stories about my dog. And after it faded, I felt like I had kind of honored her and I moved on with a sense of peace.”
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