by Reana Malori
Janae was fidgeting in her seat as she wanted for her daughter to settle down again. Turning up the music playing on the kid’s music station, she turned to Noah. “I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I’m not having it.” Her voice was tight with tension. She didn’t like to be toyed with, and that’s exactly what it felt like Noah was doing.
Noah glanced at her with a determined look on his face. “I’m not playing at anything. I’m telling you what I plan to do. My track record may not be so good with you, but that’ll change. Did you think I was joking when I told you I came back to claim my family?”
“Well, yeah! I kinda did. You know how military men spout off shit all the time. Why would I believe you want me now when you didn’t want me back then?”
She knew her words were petty. He’d told her, several times, what his reasoning was back then. She’d claimed to accept his explanation, but there was still something inside her that doubted him. A little devil on her shoulder who whispered in her ear, telling her he was only saying the words he thought she wanted to hear. They probably gave classes to military men on how to handle breaking it off with the women they left broken-hearted. With extra credit classes on what to do if she ended up with your child, and you found out years later.
She could see his jaw clenching, as if he were grinding his teeth. “I’m not going to discuss this right now. There are small ears in the truck, and I don’t want her to hear us arguing. You’re fighting me on this simply because you think you should. Not because you want to.”
Crossing her arms, she wanted to deny his words, but knew she couldn’t. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Nodding, he glanced at her with a hard look. “I do, and you know it. Now, put a smile on your face. GPS says we’re pulling up to your parents’ house. And if the car speeding in my rearview mirror is anything to go by, I’d say your parents are right behind us.”
CHAPTER 17
Janae
Janae looked at Noah in shock. “Explain yourself please. What do you mean you want to marry me?”
“Not sure how else to say it. I had every intention of marrying you before I left to go back to Virginia.” Noah had a look on his face as if daring her to challenge the words coming out of his mouth.
Janae looked in the side mirror, watching her parents as they stepped out of their own vehicle and walked up to the house. She knew today’s events had thrown them for a loop. Just showing up with Noah in tow was a surprise, but it was the only way she’d have the nerve to introduce them.
From the moment he’d walked back into her life, she knew she was no longer willing to let him go again. If that meant her family life would be in upheaval, she was willing to take the risk. Closing her eyes for a second, she thought about everything they'd gone through in the last few years. They’d been through hell and back, even if they hadn’t been together during that time.
Even though her parents didn't like that she had a child out of wedlock, they’d supported her. Her father, for all his grouchiness and outdated beliefs, had never wavered in his love of Nicole. She was his granddaughter, his princess. It just so happened that the way she came to be was less than ideal.
Noah turned to her as they sat in the driveway. “Babe, you have to suck this up. I'm not hiding away. I'm here now. And you need to face your parents, because they need to know what the deal is.” He paused for a second as he gazed into her eyes. “What exactly did you tell them about me, us, our relationship?”
Janae didn't know how to answer his question. She’d kept so many secrets from everyone over the years, the truth had started to blur. She didn’t want anyone to look at her differently, so she’d shut them out to protect herself. It didn’t do any good though, because they’d treated her differently anyway.
“I didn't tell them anything. It was something I kept to myself. I didn't want all the questions coming my way or the assumptions about things unsaid. If you haven’t noticed, people are nosey around here. They make it a contest to see who can find out the most information about someone. Mainly gossip and rumors. I didn’t want them asking where you were or why you weren’t with me. It would have been too much. At the time, I was already dealing with so much.”
Janae felt tears welling in her eyes, and she tried to fight them back. She didn't want to cry in front of him. In a matter of three days, he’d come back into her life and turned everything sideways. For so long, she thought she’d never have this chance to talk with him again. To finally understand why he chose to stay away. She’d dreamed of this moment for so long, but words failed her. Turning her head away from him, she looked at her childhood home. Her mother stood at the front door, arms crossed across her chest, and one foot tapping as she stared at the vehicle with Noah and Janae inside.
“It's time for us to go inside. I can’t hide you forever, even though I wish I could.” Janae laughed a little at her own joke. If she had her wish, she would have Noah locked away in her house where no one could take him away from her. Where even the military couldn’t get to him, asking him to put his life on the line again for a country, or people, who didn’t want him there.
He motioned to the backseat, “I'll grab little miss sleepyhead. You go on up and meet your mother. We'll be right behind you.”
Stepping out of the truck and walking up to the front porch, Janae had to remember that her parents meeting Noah was a good thing. She knew her parents had also suffered from her situation. People questioned what type of parents they were, to raise a daughter who would have a child out of wedlock with a military man who had only been in town for a short time. As long-term members in their church, they were considered pillars of the community. They’d had to defend themselves against those who questioned their ability to serve their congregation.
Even through everything, and even though they were unhappy with her decisions, she knew they loved her. However, her mother's earlier reaction to Noah wasn't something she understood. Her mother wasn’t racist—even if she had some skewed views about how people should live But her behavior with Noah before church made Janae question what she knew of her mother and her views on race relations.
Even now, as she watched her mother stand impatiently on the front porch, Janae didn’t know who this woman was. This wasn’t the woman who raised her. Then again, maybe it was, and Janae had simply never known who her mother truly was. Looking over at Noah as he and Nicole walked to the front porch, Janae knew this was her moment of truth. It was time for her to break free of her mother’s shadow. Her entire existence had been focused on trying to do the right thing and trying to be the best daughter her parents could have. She now realized that by trying to be the perfect child for them, she’d forgotten how to be herself.
All the years she’d tried to force herself to be the type of person her parents, their neighbors, and the church members expected her to be, had finally taken its toll. Glancing at Noah again as he picked up their daughter, she realized holding on to her parents’ ideas of who she was supposed to be, was going to make her miss out on her future.
As she reached the bottom steps, her mother gave her a disdainful glare, raking her eyes from the bottom of Janae’s shoes to the top of her head. What she found was clearly lacking in her eyes, and it almost made Janae burst into tears. She held back the feeling of hurt coursing through her veins because she knew she’d done nothing to deserve this. Her father, on the other hand, seemed to be more accepting of the situation, if only he’d been the one to greet them at the door. At this point, Janae had enough of kowtowing and begging forgiveness. Was her decision to be with Noah going to be the thing that tore them apart? She couldn’t believe how hateful her mother was being but it no longer mattered. Either she accepted that Janae would make her own decisions, or she wouldn’t. That wasn’t Janae’s problem anymore.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Noah asked in a low voice.
Nodding her head, Janae knew there was no backing out
of this situation. This confrontation was long overdue. She was positive her parents were going to question why she’d kept Noah a secret for so long. She’d have to stay strong for this meeting and not become weak again in front of Noah.
How could she demand he stand up for her and Nicole to the entire world, when she couldn’t even do it with her parents?
“I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be,” she smiled over at him. Stepping over the threshold of her childhood home, she strolled inside with her head held high, Noah and Nicole right behind her. Her father came down the hallway, with a huge smile on his face as he always did.
“Hey, sweetheart. You finally made it inside. For a minute there, I thought you were gonna make a break for it.” Her father opened his arms as he continued walking toward her, and Janae knew that was his way of expressing his support. Her parents had been married a long time, and it was usually her father who had to step in to smooth over ruffled feathers. He seemed to be in that mode again.
“Hey, Daddy,” she drifted into his arms, accepting the comfort only he could give. This was the man who taught her how to ride a bike, how to pray, and who always had her back when she needed it. Even when she’d done things she knew would test his anger.
“It’s going to be okay,” her father whispered. “She just needs more time.”
Pulling back, Janae looked at her father with an expression of disbelief. “More time for what?”
Her father’s eyes glanced up towards Noah and Nicole standing by the door speaking quietly to each other. “I guess we just didn’t know what to expect. While I may seem calm on the outside, I do have a lot of questions. Your mother, on the other hand, is a little more… vocal about her concerns. Baby, you just never told us anything about the man who was Nicole’s father. You have to grant us a moment of shock. I mean, this is a bit of a surprise.”
“I get that, Daddy. I really do. But momma’s response to Noah was out of line. She didn’t have to treat him that way. She looked at him as if he was scum on the street. You guys know nothing about him, and that was intentional on my part. Noah was my secret to keep, and mine to tell. Because of the situation, I chose not to tell you anything. But it doesn’t mean he is any less of a man deserving of respect.” She knew she was pushing her luck. She’d never actually spoken to her father this way before. It wasn’t that she was disrespectful, but she was firm in how she expressed herself. They’d raised her to be a strong, independent woman, not some weak doormat. She only hoped their teachings didn’t backfire on her today.
“Well, we’re about to learn all about him today. Aren’t we?” Squeezing her arms with his large hands. Her father gave her a loving look as a smile hovered on his lips. They both knew today would be interesting, but Janae was positive she was up for the fight. “I know this is your life, Janae. Your momma and I have tried to stay out of it. Even when you came to our front door with a belly full of baby, no ring on your finger, and lips clenched tight whenever we asked about the father. All we ever wanted was the best for you, which is all any parent wants for their child. Life can be difficult for a single mother of a mixed-race child. It was never our intention to make you feel as if you couldn’t tell us the full situation.”
Tears welled in her eyes as she listened to her father speak. Biting her lips, she nodded to let him know she heard and understood his words. She knew the way they grew up was different than the world today. A single black girl becoming pregnant by an absentee white man was not something accepted by families or the community in their time. For it to happen to their own daughter, must’ve been jarring to them.
Now, Noah had returned. Waltzing into their lives as if nothing had happened, or at the very least, everything could be made right. She knew how this entire situation looked to her parents and felt a twinge of guilt for not giving them more time to prepare. Giving her dad a wobbly smile, she whispered, “I know, Daddy. I promise we’ll try to explain as much as we can.”
Nodding down at her, her father smiled at the scene across the room. “We’d better get over there. The two of them look like they’re about to get into some trouble.”
Looking over her shoulder, Janae noticed Noah and Nicole, whispering to each other, gesturing wildly. It looked like they were plotting something. “I think you’re right.”
Turning away from her father, Janae walked over to Noah and Nicole, “Nicole, say hi to your granddaddy.”
“Hi, Papaw,” her little girl sang out, giving the old man a hug around his waist.
“Hey there, baby girl. You being good for your momma?”
“I sure am. Papaw, my Daddy came back from fighting the bad guys.” Nicole beamed up at her daddy, her face lit up with happiness and hero-worship.
Janae’s father looked between Noah and Janae with a confused look. “I see that.”
Janae figured now was a good time to step in. “Lieutenant Commander Noah Braddock, US Navy, this is my father, Bishop Lawrence Hayward. I figured it was best if you two had an official introduction.”
Noah stood to his full height, reaching out his hand to her father. “It’s nice to finally meet you, sir.”
“It’s nice to meet you as well, Lieutenant Commander.”
Noah shook his head. “Sir, please call me Noah. I only use my title when working.”
Her father gave him a shrewd look, “And what exactly do you do for the Navy?”
Noah looked at Janae at the same time she turned her eyes to him. They hadn’t discussed what they’d tell her parents about his job. She shrugged her shoulders, it was up to him what he shared. Since she hadn’t told them anything about him, the ball was in his court.
Turning back to her father, he smiled. “As my daughter said, I fight the bad guys.”
Just then, Janae’s mother stormed back into the foyer. “If we’re going to have this discussion, then let’s do it now. I don’t want to spend my entire day talking about something that’s only going to upset me.”
Looking over at Noah, Janae noticed his raised eyebrows as a look of frustration covered his face. She saw his eyes glance down at Nicole, and she knew exactly what he was trying to get across to her. He wasn’t going to allow their daughter to listen to Janae’s mother saying anything negative about him or Janae in front of Nicole. Sighing, she knew this day was probably about to get much, much worse, because honestly, she agreed with him.
She’d thought this would be a wonderful experience for Noah to meet her parents. To understand the people and place she’d come from. Give him insight into the person she was and make him realize that coming back to them was the right thing to do. Maybe she’d been wrong.
Pasting a smile on her face, she looked at her mother, “Momma, I love you. But I’m here today to introduce you and Daddy to Noah, Nicole’s father. I want this to be a good day for all of us. A day where we come together as a family. I need you to do this for Nicole and me. But if you can’t, we’ll leave, and this meeting will never take place. It would be too bad if that happened, but I won’t subject Noah or Nicole to negative comments.”
Her mother went to open her mouth to say something, but her father placed his hand on her arm and shook his head. “No, Bev. I think we need to listen to our daughter. We need to understand her side, and Noah’s. They’re both here today, with our granddaughter, standing in our home trying to make this right. I won’t have us making our own daughter, or her guest, feel uncomfortable. So whatever issues you have going on right now, I’m gonna need you to hold them inside. I’m hungry. I want to spend time with my granddaughter, and then I want to watch the football game. Can you give me that?”
Janae could see her mother fighting against her father’s words, even though her lips were still held tight. Her mother was a fighter. Had been her entire life. If she felt answers were needed, she would go after them like a dog with a bone. And Janae knew, even though she wanted to deny it, this situation demanded answers.
After a few seconds, her mother s
ighed and nodded her head. “Okay, Lawrence, you get your day.” Turning back to Janae and Noah, she gave them both a half-smile. “Lunch is in the dining room. Go on in and seat yourself. Nicole, come with Grandma, so we can wash your hands.”
Everyone in the room gave a collective sigh as Janae’s mother seemed to accept that she wasn’t going to get the fight she’d been itching for. At least not today. Janae knew if her mother couldn’t hold her tongue, Noah would have picked up Nicole and simply walked out, just like he’d done at church. Glancing back at him as they followed her father into the other room, she didn’t know how to express how happy she was that Noah had returned to her. Not only had he given Nicole what she’d been missing for so long, but he was also giving her back the voice she thought she’d lost.
As she smiled at the thought of her family coming together, her heart stuttered. What was that old saying, A fish and a bird can love each other but where would they live?
CHAPTER 18
Noah
Three hours later, they were leaving Janae’s parents’ house. Nicole was knocked out, and Noah was holding her in his arms as they exited the front door. For the most part, he was pleased with how everything had gone. The first hour had been tough but nothing he couldn’t handle. Janae’s mother was no pushover, but he could respect that.
Reaching out his hand to Janae’s father to say goodbye, he thought about the man he’d gotten to know this afternoon. He was a good man. A godly man. A man who loved his daughter. Someone who only wanted the best for their child. A man just like his own father. He hoped someday he would become the type of father others looked up to and wanted to emulate. Raising a daughter was not going to be easy, he knew there would be challenges; no matter what, he was ready to face them head-on.
“It was good to meet you, Noah. I hope we get to see a lot more of you. Maybe the next time you stop by, we can take the boat out and do some fishing.”