by Ford, Mia
There was something comforting in that knowledge. Something about it made me believe the things Drew was saying to me in a way nothing else could have. I had his beating heart beneath the palm of my hand to prove the things he said, and for some reason, I knew it contained no lie.
“Drew? Can I tell you something?”
“You can tell me anything. I want you to, Jess. I want you to tell me things. I want to be the kind of man you feel you can do that with.”
"Thanks. I just. I think I love you, Drew. I don't want to freak you out all over again, but I think I'm falling in love with you."
The last thing I remembered was speaking these words and Drew’s face nuzzling deeply into my hair. If he offered up any kind of an answer, I was asleep before the words were able to hit my consciousness.
Chapter 19: Drew
Out of all the things I imagined I would find myself doing, searching for an almost eleven-year-old girl's birthday party wasn't one of them. It had been a month since Jess and I had fought in the remote LA park, and everything had only gotten better since then.
All chances of me lying to myself and saying it was just about sex were long gone. Jess had told me she was falling in love with me that night, and whether I liked it or not, I was falling in love with her, too.
The realization had been terrifying, but after it had come an odd sort of calm. That calm had made everything else easier, including my relationship with Emma. A week ago, she had given me a hand-drawn invitation to her family members’ only birthday bash. Family members’ only, as in, I was the only one not blood-related who was invited.
It probably should have scared the shit out of me, but after Jess and my LA thing, it didn't. Instead, it made me feel like a fucking superhero. So here I was, wandering around a shopping mall on a busy Sunday afternoon. The only problem was that I didn't have a clue what I was supposed to get her. It was the reason I gave myself for wandering into the fancy looking jewelry store in the middle of the mall's fanciest store. Almost immediately, an overly chipper saleswoman approached me. She wore a massive, intimidating smile on her face, and I almost turned around and left right there, except that I couldn't. Something told me I needed to stay. Something told me this was the place I needed to be.
“Well, hello there, sir!”
“Hello.”
“What might I be able to do for you on this fine Seattle afternoon?”
“I’m not sure, actually.”
"Oh, don't worry about that," she said, laughing smoothly as if I were nothing she hadn't encountered before. "If I had a nickel for every time a man walked in here and said something like that, well, let's just say I wouldn't be working here anymore."
“Right,” I laughed, still uncomfortable but beginning to feel marginally better. “I would imagine.”
“Why don’t we start with you telling me what brought you here? Whatever it is, I’m sure I can help you find what you need.”
“I’m looking for a birthday gift for my girlfriend’s daughter.”
“Perfect! And how old is the daughter?”
“She’ll be turning eleven.”
“Oh, and she is going to love you.”
“Is she?”
“Definitely. Jewelry is perfect for girls that age. It makes them feel like they’re being taken seriously. Does she have pierced ears?”
"You know what? I'll be honest with you. I don't know. Does that make me an asshole?"
“No, it makes you a man. Let’s look at some necklaces then, just to be on the safe side. You wouldn’t want to give her something she couldn’t wear, now would you?”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
“What about doing a birthstone necklace? Something simple? Elegant? We could go with a gold chain and a little sapphire pendant. That’s the birthstone for September, in case you weren’t aware.”
“I was not. And that sounds great, only do you think she’ll like it? I mean, is it the kind of thing a girl her age will want?”
"Absolutely. Believe me, it's the sort of gift she'll cherish long after she stops being a little girl."
“All right,” I said, grinning. “I’m sold.”
“Would you like to see the necklace first?”
“Nope, not really. I won’t be able to tell anything about it. Why don’t you just go ahead and wrap it up?”
“Of course! And while I tend to that, is there anything else I can do for you? Anything else you’re interested in looking at?”
“There is, actually. Do you think you could show me some engagement rings?”
"Oh, my!" She giggled, whether at the request itself or at the shock on my face after making the request, I couldn't be sure. "This is an exciting shopping trip for you, isn't it?"
“Yeah, I guess it is.”
“What kind of rings would you like to see?” she asked.
“Something simple, classic. I think that’s the kind of ring she would like.”
“Of course! That’s my favorite kind of woman. Give me just one moment. I’ll be right back with a selection for you to choose from.”
I nodded at her in response, seeing as I had spontaneously lost the ability to speak. As far as I knew, I had only come into this store to get something for Emma and leave. If that was the case, though, what in the hell was I doing looking at engagement rings? Was I planning on buying one? Was that the real reason behind me choosing a jewelry store to look for Emma's gift in the first place? There were about a million fucking questions clamoring inside of my head all at once. Out of nowhere, I started to feel more than a little bit queasy. The saleswoman must have noticed it, too, because when she returned, she took one look at me and went into repair mode.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, I guess.”
“Is the ring a surprise?” she asked.
“I should think so. I don’t think she has a clue.”
"No," she said, smiling gently and making me regret my initial judgment of her. "I'm not asking if it will be a surprise to her. I'm asking if it's a surprise to you."
“Is it that obvious?”
“A little. Plus, I’ve been doing this job for a long time. It’s normal, you know. A lot of guys get freaked out when they get ready to take this step. It’s not a bad thing, either. It shows you’re really thinking.”
“Can I ask you a question now?”
“Sure, you can. I can’t promise I’ll have an answer, but I’ll do anything I can to help.”
“My girlfriend and I. We’ve only been together for a couple of months. Is that too early? Am I crazy to even be looking at these?”
“Ha! Well, my official line is that it’s never too early.”
“And your unofficial line?” I asked.
“I’m not sure that there’s any kind of magic timing to make something like a marriage work. Love is love. I’m not sure there is any such thing as too early. It’s all about what your heart tells you.”
“My heart tells me that it’s been so long since I’ve been in love that I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it anymore. What I do know is that I think about my girlfriend all the time. I know I want her to be happy.”
“Want my advice?”
“So badly,” I said, laughing sheepishly, more out of my depth than I could ever remember being before.
“Think it over for a week or two. This trip showed you that it’s something you’re ready to consider. Now take the time to do that. Think about it for a week or two, and if you decide it’s what you want, I’ll be more than happy to help you pick out a ring.”
Chapter 20: Jess
"Hello, and welcome!” I said. “Please find your seat and make yourself comfortable."
The woman I was greeting thanked me with a smile and headed toward the back of the plane, peering at each and every row as she went. Meanwhile, Tony, who was helping me greet, watched me with a wry little smile on his face. I did my best to ignore it and wait for the last of our passengers to make their way to the door
, but after a while, I couldn't take it anymore.
“What is it, Tony? Why do you keep looking at me?”
“No reason, sweetie. I was just noticing how happy you look.”
“Well, it’s a beautiful day,” I said. “There’s no reason to be anything other than happy when the weather is as nice as this, right?”
“Sure, that’s right. But are you honestly trying to tell me that this euphoria of yours hasn’t got a thing to do with the fact that your handsome beau is in the cockpit of this flight?”
“I never said that,” I said quickly, blushing profusely as I did.
“You two really are cute, you know it? I don’t see why you would want to do anything but shout it from the rooftop that the two of you are together. If it was him and me, well…”
“You’d put out a news bulletin?”
“Honey,” Tony answered with a mischievous wink. “I’d be announcing it to the passengers on every flight before the safety instructions. But seriously, you two are really great together. I was on some flights with him before he met you, and believe me, he’s better off now. He was always so stern, so unhappy looking. Ever since he met you, though, that’s all different. You’re like the light in his life, honey, and don’t you forget it.”
I wanted to thank Tony for the kindest words I'd heard in a long time, but all I could manage was to squeeze his arm appreciatively. There had been plenty of gossiping about my relationship with Drew, and not all of it had been good. Not by a long shot. To have Tony be so openly supportive of me and Drew meant a great deal. It was enough to send me so deeply into my own thoughts that I failed to notice who was walking up the ramp in preparation to board our flight. It was Tony that snapped me out of it, grabbing my upper arm tightly and letting out a low, disapproving whistle.
“Oh shit,” he said under his breath.
“What? What’s the matter?”
“Take a look for yourself, honey. Here comes trouble. From the look of him, possibly big trouble.”
It took me a minute to place the wretched looking man walking toward us. His face was distorted and angry, gaunt and sickly looking. There was something about his body that looked twisted and caved in on itself, and I wondered when this guy had last gotten a decent meal in him. He looked like somebody that belonged on the street, not on one of our flights, and it was only when he spoke that I realized who I was dealing with.
“Ah, Miss White, is it? So glad I get to fly with you again.”
“Mr. Stevens?” I gasped, knowing I must have looked distressed but completely unable to help it. “Is that you?”
“What’s the matter, sugar? Don’t you recognize me? Don’t think unemployment suits me?”
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Tell me, sweetheart, is your boyfriend on this flight? I hear he’s been doing so well since I was told to get my ass out of Dodge. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, either, if you want my humble opinion.”
His voice was hard and angry. I was sure that if he had the ability to physically wound me with his words, he would not have hesitated. I had an idea he would have destroyed the entire plane if he could have. He wouldn't have even given a thought to what would have become of him. People who were at rock bottom, the way he appeared to be, rarely did. The force of his hatred struck me so hard, I couldn't think of an answer. Again, it was Tony who swooped in to save the day.
“Mr. Stevens, I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say it’s good to see you again, and we’re sorry about the way things played out. Still, we can’t stand around and catch up all day. You know that better than anyone. So, if I can see your ticket, I’ll be happy to show you to your seat.”
“I’ve got my ticket right here, boy. Don’t worry about that. First class ticket, right here. And I know how to find my damn seat.”
“Wonderful. Then I must ask you to go ahead and be seated. We’ll be taking off very shortly.”
“Spare me,” he snapped. “I know the drill. I’ll sit down like a good little boy.”
Mr. Stevens sneered at us both and then shoved past us, almost knocking me over in the process. As he went, I realized that the stench of alcohol on him was almost overwhelming. This was not the smell of a guy who had knocked back a drink or two. This was a man who had been drinking steadily for days and days. I glanced at Tony, and all he had to do was give me a nod for me to know that he had smelled the same thing. Fred Stevens was dangerously drunk and very, very angry.
“Will you excuse me for a minute?” I asked Tony in as light a tone as I could pull off, painfully aware that Fred was trying hard to listen in. “I need to go let the captain know we’re fully loaded.”
“Sure thing, doll. Just hurry back, won’t you?”
"Believe me, I definitely will."
The walk from where Tony and I stood to the cockpit door was only a couple of feet, but it felt like miles. By the time I was close enough to knock, I was almost sure I was going to pass out. It was only the sound of Drew's voice granting me entry through the door that kept me up and alert. I opened the door quickly, hoping that Fred Wouldn't do anything stupid while I was away, and shut it soundly behind me.
“What’s the trouble, Jess? You look upset.”
"I just, I'm not sure that I even need to say anything, but then I started thinking that it might turn into a problem, and things would be worse if I didn't. So here I am."
“What are we talking about here, Jess? What kind of a potential problem?”
“It’s Mr. Stevens. Fred Stevens.”
“What about him?” Drew asked, frowning.
“He’s on the plane. Not only is he on the plane, but from the way he smells, he’s pretty seriously intoxicated.”
For a very long minute, neither Drew nor his co-pilot said anything. I could see Drew's jaw working and the veins in his temple pumping overtime, though. I knew he was pissed, and I felt my unease click over into genuine fear. Drew had no tolerance for people like Fred. I understood why, but that didn't mean I wanted all hell to break loose on the plane. It had been my duty to tell the pilots about Stevens being on the plane. I believed that. Stevens was drunk, and technically, we could kick him off the plane just for that. But now, it was Drew's duty to put his personal feelings aside and make a decision based on safety. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, I held my breath, terrified of what he might say.
“Just keep an eye on him, will you?”
“That’s all?” I asked.
"That's all. He's not behind the wheel, and he's not flying this plane. I don't love that he's on this plane, but for now, we’ll let the man fly. But if he kicks up any kind of disturbance, tell me immediately."
Chapter 21: Drew
“Things are looking good up here, right?” I asked.
"Roger that, Larson," my co-pilot answered without ever taking his eyes off the sky in front of us. I had flown with the guy a couple of times and never had a problem with him. But having Stevens on the plane made me appreciate a competent co-pilot all over again. Jess had left the cockpit with my reassurance that Fred being on our plane was nothing any of us needed to worry about, but in my gut, I had a bad feeling.
This was a man who had been given an opportunity to clean up his act and had refused to take it. This was a man who had waited for me in the shadows of the airport to whine, complain, and ultimately launch threats. Maybe him being on our flight was just a shitty coincidence, but then again, maybe it wasn't that at all. Maybe he was there to start trouble, and if that was the case, I couldn't stand knowing that Jess was out there dealing with him while I was safe in my little locked room.
“Good,” I said. “Hey, do you mind if I step out for a minute? I’m going to use the bathroom.”
“And double check to make sure Stevens isn’t doing anything he shouldn’t be?”
“Maybe,” I said.
“Sounds good to me. Look, I heard all of the same rumors as you did about the guy. I get that he’s hurting,
but he’s also out of his fucking head.”
“Exactly,” I said.
I hit the intercom button, and in no time flat, Tony was there to keep my co-pilot company. I thanked him and stepped out into the little hallway that led from our cockpit to the bathroom, which I really did need to use. I looked around quickly, taking stock of the lay of the land on the plane. That sick feeling was still there in my gut, telling me something was wrong, but I couldn't find any evidence of it. As flights went, this one looked to be relatively uneventful.
Most of the passengers were dozing while the rest read or held quiet conversations. I located Jess, who smiled at me as she served a drink to one of the lucky first-class passengers. I smiled back and turned back to my business, shaking my head and chastising myself for being so damned jumpy. That was when it happened, during that turn. That was when all hell broke loose.
When I turned back to face the passengers, the first thing I saw was that Jess's beautiful smile was gone.
For years to come, I would think of how quickly everything had flipped into chaos. I had only turned my back for a moment, but it had been enough time for Stevens to jump out of his seat and grab hold of Jess, who had been directly in front of him as she had gone about her duties. One of his arms was currently wrapped around her neck while the other held an impossibly sharp pencil up to her throat. It didn't take a genius to see that he could do some serious damage to her. He might even be able to kill her, and if he did that, I would die, too.
“Drew?” she asked in a voice that sounded far too far away. “Drew, what’s happening?”
“Shut up, you stupid cow,” Stevens spat. “Nobody wants to hear what you have to say. Why don’t you let the men do the talking?”
“Fred?” I spoke as calmly as possible while my insides raged against my lack of activity. “I’m not sure what your end game is here, but let’s talk about it. Why don’t we start by putting the weapon down?”