My interest piqued, and my expression was quick to display my caution. “Is that a ploy to make me confess to something?”
“Nope,” he shook his head, “it’s just me trying to be understanding as someone who’s been there before. Sometimes you can only bend so much before you break.” Dismissively, he spun back toward his computer, breaking our eye contact for the first time. “It seems like you’ve had quite a day, from what I’ve been hearing. Why don’t you take the period to relax in here away from everyone?”
I looked to my lap as he pulled up a blank email, sending a message off to Ms. Bennett, who’d received many like it that year – I made something of a habit of hanging out in his room. When he was finished, he pulled a stack of rubrics from a drawer in the file cabinet next to his desk, flipping open his grade book to begin to enter in grades from the most recent batch of assignments.
His complete willingness to help me, to hear me out, was what eventually made me crack. “You have to think I’m a lunatic for what I said and did the other day,” I said, pitying myself.
Mr. P put down the pen he was using and kicked back in his chair once again. “That’s not quite the word I’d use,” he said calmly. “I’d err more on the side of ‘victimized’, or ‘tired’.”
“I really don’t know how I’m going to finish this year. I’ll never live down what happened on Friday, and now, they’ll tease me about that and about being involved with Joey.” I paused to explain who he was. “He’s from Corsica; his family owns The Bistro.”
“No, I know who Joey is,” Protoccelli rolled his eyes. “I’ve overheard stories from students during work periods. If you don’t mind my asking, how’d you get mixed in with him?” He phrased his question in the politest way possible. “I didn’t really think you ran with the same crowd.”
So, I rambled my way through the whole story of how my blind date came to be, carefully omitting the parts about Roger and billing it only as “trouble at home”. Since I never spoke of my father, Protoccelli just assumed I was from a single-parent household, and I never bothered to correct him because it was far easier than explaining.
“You would think that, being as popular as he is, he’d be a jerk, but he isn’t, and it surprised me!” I babbled a bit. “He and I think on the same wavelength, and I really like him, but heaven forbid the social pariah is allowed to enjoy herself, I guess.”
“So what if your classmates have something to say about it? This is your life.”
I sniggered to myself humorlessly, pushing back against the withering cushioning of the chair. “That would be too easy. This isn’t a book, Mr. P; this is real life. It doesn’t work that way.” Shaking my head, I added, “You know, sometimes, I think you’re the only one on my side of anything anymore.”
He asked, “What about Ellie? You just said you had a good time with her not forty-eight hours ago.”
“Yeah, but she has this issue with always thinking she knows what’s best for me. Like I believe I mentioned, this whole date thing was her bright idea, and she set it all up without asking me first if I even wanted her to.”
Protoccelli nodded. “Well, have you tried talking to her about how you feel? Problems never get solved if you keep them inside and don’t address them, Ashley.”
Opening up to someone and airing everything out did sound quite nice, but I was always something of a private, suffer-in-silence type of person. “You know how I am – talking to people isn’t really my cup of tea.”
“Don’t lay down and take something that clearly upsets you just because she’s your friend; if you don’t like how she treats you, tell her. What’s she going to do if you confront her, not like you?”
“Yes,” I replied dryly, “which is a problem, seeing as she’s my only friend.”
His expression softened. “And is your happiness really worth keeping silent just to keep from rocking the boat?”
Before I was obligated to try to answer him, the bell rang one again, bringing an end to the school day. “Well, thanks for the chat, Mr. P,” I quipped with a smile, desperately trying to skirt around having to figure out if he was right or not. “So, did you mean it when you said you’re not giving me a referral for Friday?”
“Please,” he spat, flapping a hand as he got back to grading while I gathered my things. “You could kill someone with my art supplies and I still wouldn’t write you up.”
Again, I grinned. “You know, you should forget about art and go into therapy.”
“I’m sure the pay there is a lot better, but I like to think I’m getting one last crack at these kids before they’re out in the real world. You know, the cliché ‘making a difference in someone’s life’ spiel.” He offered a comforting smile. “Have a good night. Keep your chin up.”
His question about my friendship with Ellie buzzed about in my head as I walked to meet the girl in question, who was waiting in our usual rendezvous spot by the front doors. She was more than used to me not showing up to study hall, what with Art right before it. “Where were you?” she gawked as I approached her. “I thought I told you to make sure you came to study hall today.”
“Protoccelli kept me to chat,” I told her, trying hard not to notice that Ben and his gang were right behind us as we headed outside. “After Friday and how everyone has been harassing me all day, he just wanted to make sure I was doing alright.”
She grabbed my hand and swung it playfully. “You only have to deal with their drama for a few more months, and then karma will get them eventually. You just have to hope you’re around to see it.”
I failed to see the beauty in the sentiment of, if I let these kids keep bugging me day in and day out, the universe would someday make them pay. Sure, karma could punch them in the face with a cold dose of reality, or I could punch them in the face with a cold dose of my fist.
Or, unexpected option C, someone else could stand up for me.
“Joey!” Ben yelped, shoving his way crudely between Ellie and I, tearing our hands apart as he rushed toward the black SUV parked front and center in the drop-off lane. “Come to kidnap me, I see? You could have at least texted me to let me know.”
I’d locked eyes with Joey the moment he was done greeting Ben with a bro-hug, and neither of us had looked away. “As much as I love your pretty face, Benny Boy, you’re not why I’m here.” He paused long enough to motion to me. “It’s actually that pretty face I’m after.”
Ben whirled around in complete disbelief as Ellie and I caught up to them. “You’re here for me?” I asked with heat rising to my cheeks.
“You told me yesterday that I had the green light to see you again sometime this week.” The coy smile he kept in his arsenal, the one I had a hard time refusing, returned to his lips once again. “And I guess I’m a little impatient.”
“You can’t be serious, Joe,” Ben uttered bitterly, looking at me, eyes full of spite. “Your awkward little hermit bitch just got me written up.”
I stared at him hard, feeling acid surging from within me and pouring it into my words. “Right, because I begged you guys to make fun of me for hanging out with Joey because I’m ‘not worthy’ or whatever. Sorry to be such a bitch, trying to live around you and your clique of morons tormenting me every single day.” My sarcasm became almost palpable. “I’ll be nicer next time, I promise.”
The first to react to what I was saying, Joey turned to Ben and Co., his voice deflated “Oh come on, guys. Don’t tell me you’re some of the assholes she told me about.” Ben went to say something, to justify himself, but Joey cut him off, crossing his arms with authority as his expression turned to stone. “She already told me she doesn’t vibe with your crowd, so if that’s your argument as to why you pick on her all the time, save your breath. Otherwise, go ahead.” He stepped to the side with a grand, sweeping motion after a moment of silence from a stunned Ben. “The floor is yours, buddy.”
“Are you really going to do this to me, Joe?” Ben asked, trying to scramble to gain the advant
age he went into our argument thinking he had. “Had I known you’d be so pissed about everything, I’d have been nicer to her.”
“Girls, get in the car,” Joey all but demanded of Ellie and I, and we obliged as he continued to stare down my bullies. Their conversation crept in through the windows. “Hey, are you still having that party this weekend?”
“Yeah!” Ben nodded furiously, believing he was back in Joey’s proverbial good graces. “Kyle’s cousin is going to hook us up with some drinks, and Zack from Cyclade knows a kid who’s getting into DJing, so he can probably spin if he’s not working that night. It’s on Saturday, and – ”
“Aw, man, we have plans that night; Ashley and I were going to hang out again,” he whined, feigning sorrow in his voice. He and I did not, in fact, have plans. “Sure sucks I couldn’t bring her to the party with me, but, you know, I wouldn’t want her being an ‘awkward little hermit bitch’ to cramp your style or anything.”
“No, dude, it’s cool,” Ben stammered, trying to find his footing as Joey knocked him down several pegs. “Bring her; she’s more than welcome.”
Luckily, my new friend saw through the act. Instead of engaging them, he snorted a dry, humorless laugh. “See you guys later.” He climbed back into the car without another word, leaving the popular crowd standing at the curb, jaws still agape.
Joey caught my eye as we waited in a small line of traffic to exit the school lot, silence still hanging in the air. All it took was a single, comforting grin from him to assure me that somehow, everything was going to be okay. No matter what the it-crowd had to say about what happened, I had him on my side, and after facing everything alone for so long, that was all I could really ask for.
Chapter Twelve
Danny laughed at a joke he’d cracked, lying beside me in my bed a couple weeks later. I was running late for school, but I didn’t quite have it in me to care – it was Monday, and it was dreary and gray outside, and I’d spent all weekend with my friends. Our double-date group made good on the plans to hang out with Yosuke and his girlfriend, Sam, after being absorbed in a group text with them all week, and it turned out to be a really good time. Sure, Josh was there, being his usual Josh self, but Joey and Ellie were already people I enjoyed, Yosuke remained just as fun and enjoyable outside of work as he’d been the night we met him, and Sam was absolutely hilarious. The weekend was spent watching movies and stuffing our faces at Joey’s house, and it was a welcomed change to my typical schedule of painting and reading all weekend while Ellie worked, but it was exhausting. Thus, I resolved to stay in bed until I was forced out.
“Know what I realized today?” Danny asked, smirking gently. “Your birthday is coming up really soon.”
I nodded. “Two weeks from Friday, I’ll be eighteen.”
“I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but I did something to help celebrate.”
Despite that his words made my insides melt a bit, I tried to be casual about the whole idea. “You didn’t have to do anything for me.”
“No, but I wanted to.” He shrugged, still smiling at me. Despite my budding relationship with Joey, Danny was definitely still in the picture, and I loved every minute of my secret, somewhat crazy double life. “I’ve really enjoyed the past few weeks we’ve spent hanging out, so I couldn’t let your big day go unnoticed.”
Careful, so as not to jolt us back to life too early, I rested my head down onto his shoulder. “Well, I enjoy you as well. I’m actually taking a brief hiatus from my morning classes to stay here and hang out with you.” I decided before falling asleep that he didn’t need to know that I was actually just exhausted from the weekend, because I’d been cautious in the past few weeks to omit anything about Joey, lest it chase Danny away.
“I don’t blame you; high school was trash.” It was a subject we’d gone over several times, but I think he knew I kind of enjoyed venting about how much I hated it, because he often opened the floor for another rant. “Everyone is so guarded and insecure and it makes them act like such assholes.”
Before I was able to begin to properly formulate words for my disdain toward my graduating class, a loud pounding on my bedroom door interrupted our quiet morning together. “Ashley, wake up, Love!” Mum called to me through the wood, banging again to add some emphasis, to really make sure I heard her. “We’ve overslept, so I’ll have to take you to school. It’s well past nine, and you’re late.”
I turned to bury my face in Danny’s t-shirt, groaning dramatically. “Always with that waking me up nonsense,” I complained, just hoping he could make out my muffled grievances before opting to sit up so I could properly say goodbye to him. “I suppose that means I should get going.”
As I went to reach for his hand to shoot us back to our respective realities, Danny shied away. “I’m not going to make you wait for your birthday present until your actual birthday. Check the band’s website when you get home tonight.” Before he gave me a chance to ask any questions about what he meant, he grabbed my hand with a smirk, and all at once, I was awake.
I finally got to school in the middle of Calculus, and Ellie welcomed me with an excited smile as I took my seat beside her. She scribbled the question of where I was onto a spare piece of notebook paper, and passed it to me in the middle of our teacher’s lecture on the properties of limits. I fed her a line about being spent from the weekend and oversleeping, and it distracted her enough that she switched the focus of her replies to how much fun we all had together. Our teacher soon saw the note being passed between us and took it away, eagerly exchanging it for detention slips for us during study hall.
After that, lunch and Psychology dragged on. I trudged my way through a soggy grilled cheese sandwich and the prospects of human motivation before it was finally time for the part of the day I actually enjoyed. After I worked through Mr. P’s introductory lesson on pointillism, I’d spend time in detention getting my homework done, I’d see Joey for a while, and then go home for the night, hopefully getting right to sleep after checking to see what Danny had done.
Toward the end of Art, I was distracted from my notebook, scribbling down the particular aspects that defined the classic style as a crumpled ball of paper flew past my head and landed on my desk. I wasn’t dumb enough not to realize that it’d come from the table behind me, and I turned to stare, very much not in a mood for shenanigans that day after such an awesome weekend.
“It’s a note,” Ben hissed at me, motioning toward the wad on my desk. “Open it.”
The instant I reached to grab the paper, a hand swooped in from beside me and yanked it away. Mr. Protoccelli glowered, staring daggers into the people behind me. “If this is anything like I can only assume by now that it will be, please don’t think I’ll hesitate to write you up again.” He unraveled the paper and read quickly over the note, staring again at the throng of kids behind me. Without looking away from them, he dropped the letter open-face back onto my notebook before, without saying another word, heading back up to the front of the room to continue his lesson. Unlike my Calculus teacher, a note wasn’t enough to throw him off the groove of teaching.
Seeing as he hadn’t punished the popular crowd over their choice in words, I figured it might be somewhat safe to read, and took the note for myself.
“We must have been wrong about you. Joey’s done nothing but sing your praise lately, and from what he says, you sound like a cool person. After school on Friday afternoon, we’re all going to the mall with him, and you’re welcome to come along. All we want is a chance for everyone to prove each other wrong – maybe you’re not as bad as we think, and maybe we’re not as bad as you think. Consider giving it a shot. From Ben, Katie, Jeff, Rob, and Jenna.”
Joey had said the night before on the phone that he’d meant to talk to me about something, but wanted to do it in person so I’d know he was sincere. He hinted that I may not be receptive to it, and that he’d understand if I wasn’t, so I could only assume that the secret was out. The only question I had was wh
ether or not I actually wanted to go through with all of it. Did I want to stick myself with the people who’d made things hard for me for years, and trust them not to be jerks? Only a few months from graduation, they wanted to try to bandage the still-bleeding wounds they’d left me with throughout the past twelve years, and I had a hunch it wasn’t out of the kindness of their hearts. Joey mentioned that he hadn’t really been talking to them very much because of how they treated me, and I had a funny feeling that might have had something to do with their offer to randomly be so kind as to include me in their group.
Nothing about it made any sense to me, but as the bell rang, I looked up from the paper and into waiting eyes behind me. Ben smirked as he stood up and gathered his things, flanked by his groupies. “Well?” he baited.
I couldn’t think of a way to win this. If I turned them down, they could make the argument to Joey that they’d tried and that I just wasn’t as open to it as they were. On the other hand, if I accepted, I’d actually have to hang out with them, which had a ton of potential to be absolutely terrible. However, if Joey would be there with all of us, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Ben seemed to puppy down the last time he was confronted with my existence in Joey’s life, so maybe Joey would be able to keep said puppy on a tight leash.
With a queasy feeling in my gut, every part of me immediately on high alert, I looked him in the eyes and tried to smile. “Count me in.”
✽✽✽
Joey’s bright, smiling face was the first thing I saw through the blustering snow storm when I trudged my way out of school that afternoon, marching along to the sound of Ellie whining about how unfair it was that we’d gotten detention.
“Afternoon, ladies,” he beamed at us as the snow began to accumulate in his dark hair. “How are we today?”
My best friend climbed into the back seat behind me as I sat shotgun, our silently designated spots for when Joey picked us up from school, which had quickly started to become somewhat standard. He knew we walked to and from school, and what with winter being steadily upon us, he felt bad we were stuck in the cold and helped us out as often as he could, since Corsica’s day ended a half hour before Marmara’s. “We’re bored to tears is how we are,” Ellie moaned. “Our math teacher is a massive stiff and wouldn’t even let us talk during detention.”
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