by Fox Brison
Friends.
Maybe that’s all we were ever meant to be because, let’s face it, the love Gods didn’t exactly appear to be helping our cause. Disappointment was tempered by the thought of getting to know Haley without any complications, like her generous curves. Like her breasts which were the perfect handful. Like her smile when she talked about her favourite horse. Like her eyes when they darkened with desire or sparkled with unrestrained humour.
Friends.
It was better that I had her as a friend and pined. Seventy two hours ago she was Jack’s wife…
Yeah I was pining alright, but thankfully I was no longer pining over a potential disaster.
***
When we arrived back at the ranch the front door was open and a figure in the doorway was cast in shadow. I would recognise that silhouette anywhere and I waved. “Hi, Mom. Sorry we’re late,” I called, opening the door for Haley who was holding the food. My hand instinctively went to the small of her back as we walked across the drive to the house.
It was like that part of her body was made for my hand.
“Your timing is perfect, I’ve just taken the plates out of the oven,” my Mom called back. I smiled. It was something she always did when we brought food in and she’d been doing it as far back as I could remember. Instead of heating the food she heated the plates. It was familiar, it was routine and right now I was craving that because life was anything but normal at the moment.
“I nearly scoffed the whole thing down on the way home it smelled so good,” Haley said. “Although that would be slightly less embarrassing than the drool I kept wiping from my chin. There should be a law against something smelling so good.” Her head snapped towards me then back to the ground.
I ignored the sudden flush of red highlighting her cheeks and the way she bit her bottom lip, because to my mind there should also be a law against someone looking so sweet and yet so sexy at the same time. “Yup there’s something about those ribs and barbecue chicken. Whenever I get them there’s a puddle on the pickup floor when I get home,” I admitted with a chuckle.
The table was set and as my Mom dished out the food, Colin dished out the beers. It was as if a plague of locusts hit the table, and an hour later we were cleaned up and on the porch watching the sun set, Mom with pie and coffee, Colin, Haley and myself with pie and beer.
“Looks like you two kissed and made up?” Mom said with a twinkle in her eye.
“Well we’ve made up.” There would be no kissing. No siree. No kissing those plump lips. No kissing their pale pink softness. No kissing their moist warmth. I avoided looking at Haley. I wanted kissing. I wanted more than kissing.
But there could be no kissing.
I felt like I had some sort of split personality with all the internal arguing.
“What in the Lord happened with you two anyways?” Mom asked. “I thought I was gonna have to call the national guard yesterday. Didn’t think even ice water would dout the fire you two raised.” After witnessing the after effects, she wanted to know the cause.
“Well it’s a funny thing, actually… what happened was, well when I arrived in San Francisco I’d had a bit of a shock… hmm yes, you see I was, and there was Dani and we danced and I…” Haley was trying to explain. Badly. She smiled at me, shyly.
I saved her blushes, even though I found them as cute as the pie I was eating. “Haley and I met, but I thought she was Jen,” I explained. Equally as badly.
“So, in a nutshell, you thought you did the dirty with Jack’s wife,” Mom said with a knowing shake of her head. How the hell she reached that conclusion from what I said I’ll never know.
This was about as much fun as pulling a calf out of a mud hole during a gulley washer. “In a nutshell, yes.” I replied through gritted teeth. This wasn’t fair on me, but it definitely wasn’t fair on Haley. She didn’t know us well enough to withstand the level of ribbing we were about to receive from the gruesome twosome. Yep here it comes.
Mom and Colin could hardly contain their mirth. In fact they didn’t. They both let out huge roars of laughter that echoed under the eaves of the porch. “But how?” Colin asked when he’d managed to calm down.
“How what?” I asked and took a long draft of my beer. So long I had to get another bottle. Yes I was buying time, my mind already running ahead of my mouth. Great, a guy who can’t normally be bothered to say two words decides now is the moment he needs to become more verbose.
“Why would you think Haley was her sister?” Colin persisted.
“We’re identical twins,” Haley laughed, attempting to put an end to this post mortem. She was taking it well because I knew this was at least her third one; it was only my first and it sucked. Another point in her favour.
But Colin had found his voice and there was no stopping him. “I get that. But your name is Haley and your sister is Jen.” He looked askance at me and with a hint of disbelief, “Surely you got the girl’s name before…?” Colin was mighty confused. Haley was mighty embarrassed. Mom was mighty curious.
I was wishing we’d never opened up this can of worms.
“I told Dani my name was Jennifer,” Haley admitted and echoing my action, took a large swig from her bottle of beer. By the end of this conversation we were going to be either so drunk we didn’t care or so ashamed we’d be heading for the mountains.
Colin threw his head backwards, “That’s funnier than a mule wearing a hat, smoking a cigar and playing the banjo! No wonder you couldn’t wait to get home, Dani. I know you and Jack share a lot of things but…” He slapped his thigh.
“It’s not that funny!” Haley said, clearly miffed, and I don’t know why but I got the giggles.
“It wasn’t. But looking back, it kinda is,” I laughed and Haley blushed again.
“That explains why you came home as if your tail was on fire,” my Mom chortled catching the infection. Little did she know it wasn’t only my tail that was ablaze. Once her laughter lessened she suggested, “I’ve an idea, why don’t you two take a ride down to the crick tomorrow and camp out?” Haley’s eyes immediately lit up. It wasn’t the worst idea my mother had ever had. It would at least give Haley and I a chance come to terms with our new relationship dynamic without interference.
“We’ll see,” I wasn’t making any promises because the only dynamic I could think of was being in a tent with Haley.
It excited me.
And dang near terrified the boots off me too.
***
Outside the light was like a dimmer switch slowly being turned down. The dusky grey of twilight had given way to the midnight blue of darkness and I shivered, feeling lonely for an instant. The stars were starting to pop into the sky, diamond sequins on an ebony velvet dress. Haley and Colin had already retired, so it was just the two of us Robbins women chewing the fat.
“So I was thinking that maybe we should have some sort of party for Jack and Jen. What do you say?”
“I think that’s a great idea,” I said, glad Mom was distracted from her matchmaking.
“I’ll talk to Haley about it. She spoke with her parents this afternoon, maybe they’d come over for it. Haley’s a lovely girl, isn’t she?”
Ahh Momma Matchmaker was back and with a target in her sights. “Mom I know you mean well, but you have to stop. Haley doesn’t want me in that way.” She’d spent most of the evening pushing Haley and I together and I had spent most of it moving further apart, in some cases literally as I stood and moved to the other side of the porch railings. It was either that or embarrass everyone by prostrating myself at Haley’s feet begging her to take me to bed and make me her cowgirl.
“What way?” Mom said innocently, initiating the look that all mother’s get, the one where she knew she’d found the right girl for me and wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
“You know what way. Besides, she lives in England and will be going back there in a few weeks.” I felt a jump in my stomach as if I’d just made the connection.
> She would be in England and nothing would ever be the same.
It was a few hours later when I eventually went to bed. Alone. It wasn’t what I wanted, but that was the thing with life, you can’t always get what you want.
And it seemed I couldn’t even get what I needed.
Chapter 26
Haley
I was sat on the porch nursing a strong coffee when Dani rode into the yard. She genuinely blew me away, there was no other words for it. Stopping at the bottom of the porch steps she didn’t bother to dismount, not that I was complaining, I allowed my eyes to rake over every inch of her body. Thankfully I was wearing sunglasses, so it wasn’t as creepy as it sounded.
“You’re up,” she said, shifting in her saddle. Was she sending my libido into overdrive on purpose and was this to be my punishment for my San Franciscan infraction?
Driven mad by sexual frustration.
I looked at her again. Well if that was her plan, it was working; but what a. Way. To. Go. She was wearing a white denim shirt with no sleeves revealing tanned and well defined biceps. Here was a woman who worked hard for a living, and boy did it show.
“I am. Although I could have stayed in that bed all day, it’s the most comfortable one I’ve ever slept in.” I dragged my mind away from the miraculous sight of Dani and back to the mundane. Not that the thought of bed was mundane. I smiled as my dream from the night before impinged on my waking thoughts. I shifted on the rocker. Okay that wasn’t the best move either.
“So,” Dani removed her hat and wiped the sweat from her forehead. “It’s only nine am and already it’s hotter than papa bear’s porridge. What do you say about the two of us going for a ride, maybe camp out for night? It’ll be cooler near the foot of mountains.”
I almost catapulted out of the rocking chair before composing myself and saying nonchalantly, “Your Mum persuaded you then?”
“That she did. You a good rider?”
“Pretty good yeah. I used to compete in cross country and did a bit of three day eventing when I was younger.”
“Good enough,” Dani added, shuffling in her saddle. Why was she nervous? For some reason it appeared she thought she needed to persuade me, but I wasn’t putting up a fight. “Mom said you might go to the museum to see Madison today. If you’d rather-”
“No,” I practically shouted, “I mean yes, I told your mum I didn’t manage to get round all the exhibits yesterday, but I want to go with you. There’s only one problem I haven’t any riding boots.” I had everything else though. “Oh, and a hat!” That kind of excited me. I would love a real Stetson.
“Mac’s on Main Street will sort you out. Tell Emily I sent you and she might give you a discount. I’ll get Colin to take you in and you can pick up your car at the same time. I’ll sort you out a horse and the equipment while you’re gone and then we can leave as soon as you get back.” She shielded her eyes from the sun waiting for my answer. “What do you say?”
“I’d say that sounds perfect.”
I could think of nothing more perfect in this world. Well I could, but that was out at the moment.
Friends. Loved the series, hated the sentiment.
***
Colin dropped me off at Smackwater Joe’s and I collected my car. Following him back into town, he tooted goodbye as I pulled up outside Macs on the high street, or rather main street. When in Rome, I thought happily to myself. A bell chimed out a welcome when I opened a non-descript glass door and my eyes took a second to adjust from the bright sunlight to the shady indoors.
It was Horsey Heaven.
The boots, the saddles, the tack…the leather work was outstanding, each piece hand crafted and intricately detailed, swirling patterns and shapes, every one of them painstakingly beautiful. Soft calfskin, hard wearing cow hide and even a few doeskin satchels for laptops. I reached out and allowed my finger to trail over one of the saddles. And the smell. There’s nothing like the smell of new leather. Except, perhaps, the smell of leather and a certain cowgirl’s distinctive cologne…
I could have easily wasted the morning browsing but I had better things to do today. Today I was going to be living out a fantasy, a fantasy I’d had from the moment I set eyes on Dani Robbins in San Francisco. I tried on two pairs of tan boots and picked the first. They were already on sale and I got an extra five percent when I mentioned Dani’s name. Bonus. I chose a matching hat and could easily have passed for a Cody native if it wasn’t for my deathly pale skin which I was hoping a few days riding the plains might address. On my way back to the car I came across another shop two doors down which caught my eye. I stopped, shook my head and then walked on.
Before doubling back and peeking through the window. The shop was empty apart from a bored looking woman filing her nails.
Hmm.
It’ll make things easier once Jen arrives…
***
“Oh.” Dani stared at me.
“Oh? Is that a good or a bad oh?” I asked nervously. I raked my hands through my new Miley Cyrus inspired haircut. Tammi could talk the hind legs off a herd of donkeys and by the time I left I practically knew her life story, and that of her most of her family, as she gave me my breakover as she called it. Tammi’s hair salon next to Mac’s was the shop that had been empty, which I took as a fate test in the making. “Dani?” I said again.
“It’s… it’s…” I’d never noticed her stutter before. It was either that or she was lost for words. Whatever it was, I couldn’t tell if it was a good or a bad sign. “Yes,” she eventually blurted out.
After receiving Dani’s nonsensical answer, I headed for the corral, a little peeved if I’m honest. I mean, I wasn’t asking for much but a polite, ‘I like your hair’ might have been nice. Standing on the bottom rung of the fence I watched Colin trying to snare a particularly crafty colt. “Why did you get it cut?” Dani followed and leaned on the fence beside me.
“Because I wanted to make sure you knew which Jones girl was which,” I answered acerbically. From her wince, I realised the arrow had hit the apple. And I felt rotten to the core because of it. “Sorry, Dani, that was a low blow. I always used to have my hair short. You aren’t the first to mistake me for Jen and vice versa. Most of the time I loved being a twin, but there were occasions… when teachers called me Jen, when Mum or Dad would tell me off for something Jen had done… so I kept my hair short. It wasn’t until I got older that I grew it out. I’m not sure why. Maybe because Dawn preferred it longer?”
“Dawn?”
“The ex,” I explained. It was strange how that word held a wealth of meaning. Five letters. I may have kept my face expressionless, but from my tone it sounded almost as if I was grimacing when I said it.
“Oh right. Don’t get me wrong I liked the bun and I loved it when it was loose. It was like clouds of silk,” she blushed. “Sorry, didn’t mean to sound such a sap. But this, this I think is beautiful,” she whispered and ran her fingers through it. “It has attitude, essential for any cowgirl.”
God I almost melted into a puddle of goo; she had this way about her. A few well chosen words and she could make me feel on top of the world. Dawn rarely complimented my appearance – in fact I was more likely to get blood from a stone.
Cutting my hair was the second impulsive decision I’d made in less than a week.
I ignored the fact that Dani was a major contributing factor on both occasions.
***
“There’s a campsite less than half a day’s ride we’ll stop there tonight.” Dani said as we gradually left the house in the distance. “The crick is shallow and slow moving at that point and there’s a few trails close by. We won’t wander too far because Doc Rogers says Stormy only has another few days but I have a feeling it’ll be sooner. Plus you’ll want to be back for your sister and Jack arriving.”
I had deduced crick was the local pronunciation of creek, so didn’t keep thinking Dani was talking about a pain in her neck. “That doesn’t really bother me,” I said fr
om atop Scrubby, a misnamed palomino gelding. I threaded my hands through his coarse blonde mane. It centred me. “Jen has to find her feet without worrying about me.”
“How do you mean?” The sun was beating down and we stopped to water the horses next to a babbling brook. Dani wasn’t in any hurry and for that I was grateful. It had been a while since I’d done any serious riding and knew my muscles would be protesting in the morning. At least at this gentle pace I wouldn’t be too sore; unless my fantasy came completely true and Dani and I were about to star in the lesbian remake of Brokeback Mountain…and if scissoring was involved it would be a literal remake because I tried that once and nearly broke my back!
I groaned inwardly. All I had were fantasies and I should have been content with the fact Dani was making the effort to be friends but I couldn’t help it.
I wanted more.
“A couple of reasons. Jen can be quite shy and if I’m there I tend to take over,” I found my voice again. “I’m the eldest so I can be a bit protective!”
“Eldest?”
“By eleven whole minutes,” I grinned.
“I bet she loved that growing up. Although if she’s shy it might be a blessing to have you here, it might take some of the pressure off,” Dani argued. “You’ve experienced first hand how intense my Mom can be when she wants to get to the meat of the matter,” she smiled ruefully.
“True, but secondly, and indisputably more importantly, I don’t want her to feel bad about spending time with Jack and his family instead of me. I sort of guilt tripped her a little about getting me to America under false pretences. But I’m glad she did. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.” The high grass of the pasture was divided by a small stream, the crystal water running languidly over large round stones blanketing the bed. Clusters of wildflowers provided pockets of vibrant colour and I wondered if Dani wouldn’t think it too girly if we stopped and picked a bunch on the way back. The white, yellow, pink, and purple petals were sprinkled like fairy dust amongst the thick blades of grass, each flower stretching toward the sun to feel the warmth of its rays.