"You told me your parents were having problems long before they got divorced," Kelly reminded her. "He was probably lonely and-"
"Are you defending him?" Erica bristled.
"Are you condemning him? With all of his faults and weaknesses, he's a very brilliant guy. I've gotten leads from him that would have taken me months to develop."
"I guess your publisher is really pressuring you for this new book, huh?"
"My publisher doesn't want any part of this book. He wanted me to do a book on the nuclear problem. That's what's big right now."
"I'm afraid I have to agree with him," Erica said. "I would think that a book on the devastating effects of a nuclear attack would far outweigh the importance of a book on ESP."
"Who said I was doing a book on ESP?"
"Didn't you say you were studying parapsychology? You've always written books that effected social change. You've been on the cutting edge of every problem society has faced in our lifetime."
"Well, my publisher has a good research department. He was always able to identify what causes were going to be popular in time for me to hack out a book on the subject."
"You've been so involved in the problems of society. You're one of the few authentic people I know. You really care what happens to people."
"I write," Kelly insisted, "because I like to write and I am a terrific writer. My own interests are far from the subjects I've been writing about. I wrote those books for money. Now I'm going to pursue my own interests."
"What could be more important than the book you wrote on world hunger?"
"While I was doing research for that book," Kelly told her, "I visited a tribe of Aborigines. The chieftain of the tribe was traditionally the woman or man who could sit for the longest period of time without doing anything. The tribe did not make weapons to hunt because they believed it was a waste of time and if they could not think out the problem of how to get food it was because they weren't thinking clearly. I sat with the chieftain for two weeks before she did anything. What she finally did was turn to me and give me a name. In two days a rabbit came and sat with us. At the end of the day I petted the rabbit and it fell over dead."
"How horrible!" Erica winced.
"It was great," Kelly contradicted. "I was hungry. Later I learned that the name she had given me was "She Who Sits With The Chieftain And Has A Rabbit Fall Dead At Her Touch."
"That is interesting," Erica admitted, "but a book about mind games isn't nearly as important as the book you did on world hunger. It made me aware of the growing problem."
"What did you do about it?" Kelly asked.
"I sent money to the NoMoHungerFund and I worked for a couple of weeks with women who were teaching senior citizens how to grow vegetables in their yards. I was going to do more but Isica got the flu and I forgot about it after that, but now that I'm thinking about it again..."
"Every little bit helps," Kelly assured her.
"Now the important thing is stopping the world governments from blowing us all up." Erica shuddered. "I saw a film on the destructiveness of the bomb and I was paralyzed with fear."
"That's the problem. It's such a real and threatening danger anything I could tell people would only paralyze them more. There has to be a better way," Kelly concluded.
"The book wouldn't have to be frightening," Erica suggested. "Just say there is a problem and tell us what to do about it."
Kelly looked at her. "Even if I knew what to tell you, there probably wouldn't be enough time."
Erica stared at her friend. "I've never known you to be negative about things.
"That's your assessment." Kelly stretched. "I read in an article by a marketing group that when a person buys a motor scooter, within two hundred and thirty-four point nine days they will buy six point three tank tops if they don't own any at the time they purchased the motor scooter."
"Is that the kind of shit you're going to write about rather than the dangers of nuclear war?"
"I'm not sure," Kelly admitted. "I'm driving up to Santa Cruz tomorrow to talk to a dynamicist who believes a model can be made that can predict the outcome of any stimuli on any system, biological or social. It's all done with computers."
"So now I'm confused. Are you going to write about market research, computer games, mind games, or stories about some... fakir who knows a trick of appearing to be in two places at the same time?"
~ Chapter 31 ~
Kelly was fixing breakfast. Erica, watching her friend slice fruit, asked, "What time are you leaving for Santa Cruz?"
"I'm not going. I got a message that my contact up there will be at UCLA this afternoon. We're going to meet another dynamicist there."
"I must have really conked out. I didn't hear the phone ring."
"He didn't call me. Haven't you ever gotten a message to call someone? It happens to me all the time... at least it's happened a lot in the last year. I just suddenly know I have to call someone and when I do they tell me they were sending me a message to call."
"It happened once. I got a message to call Isa when I was out of town visiting our center in Riverside. It was when the babies were little. They both had bad colds and she was frantic."
"Are you excited about seeing Morgan this evening?"
Erica grinned. "What do you think? Do you think I should shave my legs?"
"Huh?"
"Usually when I think I'm going to... I try to get a look at a woman's legs to find out if she shaves. Some women are offended if you don't and some women don't like it if you do. I spent so much time looking at... other things - I forgot to check out Morgan's legs."
"Do you like legs smooth or hairy?" Kelly asked her.
"Both," Erica admitted. "I like them soft and hairy or silky smooth."
Kelly giggled. "Why don't you shave one leg and let her take her choice?"
"Very funny!"
"What time are you going to Morgan's?"
"Seven... that reminds me, I want to call downstairs and tell them to hold all my calls. I don't want any distractions today."
"I'll be out of your way," Kelly promised. "When I found I had some extra time I called and made an appointment with a woman who met her phantom double. I've interviewed several people who have had a similar experience, but this one is unique in that she actually had a conversation with hers."
"I read an article in one of those... scandal sheets someone had left downstairs. It was about a woman who met her ghostly double during a crisis situation. A psychiatrist said it was an hallucination."
Kelly put a plate of fruit in front of Erica and laughed. "Maybe this is an hallucination, too."
"I still think," Erica contended, "you are wasting your time and talent on all this mind stuff."
* * * *
Erica eased herself into the fragrant bubble bath. She allowed thoughts of Morgan to comfort her. Morgan's face... Morgan's hands... Morgan's mouth... Erica was fascinated. She allowed herself to dream. She would walk in and Morgan would be smiling. They would reach for each other and embrace... their faces pressing together. Morgan would murmur something, and Erica's heart would begin to race. Morgan would lead her to the dining room, but they wouldn't be able to eat... so intently would they gaze into each other's eyes. Morgan would take Erica's hand and pull her to the table with the Gyrolite, Prehnite... and... the special Stone... the symbol of their love.
Suddenly Morgan was holding two glasses and a bottle of wine. "I got this especially for tonight." Her voice was husky. "I want tonight to be special... in every way." Erica took a glass and held it while Morgan poured. They toasted each other... their eyes locked. Morgan picked up her Stone and led her to...
Erica opened her eyes. She thought about Morgan's house. Where would be the most romantic place to Click? The tree, yes. Morgan picked up her Stone and led her to the tree. "This is the place I've remembered you all these years." Her slow, easy voice was huskier than before. Erica's knees felt weak. Her breathing quickened. They held up their Stones and hel
d them poised for a moment... and then, as if able to read each other's minds, they brought their Stones together in a swift movement. The light around them was brilliant. Their mouths joined, arms encircling each other, they sank to the ground. Morgan was unbuttoning her top button. The shock of touching Morgan's breast caused Erica to gasp with pleasure. When Morgan's strong, warm sensual hands finally touched her breasts...
Then they were in front of the fireplace. They were both nude. They were caressing each other. "You smell wonderful," Morgan said in her husky, slow easy voice. Erica said dreamily, "I bought this fragrance just for tonight." Morgan's body was responding to her touch... and Morgan's hand trailed down Erica's body... her shoulders lightly... softly over her breasts... so magical... down her belly... and down over her hip... lingering for a moment... tantalizing... touching her thighs and down her legs.
Erica opened her eyes. She decided to shave her legs.
* * * *
A quick glance at the clock told her she just had time to check her messages downstairs before leaving for Morgan's. She looked into the mirror and gave her hair a final touch.
"You only had two calls," Becky told her.
"I see Kelly called." Erica read the message: "Am spending the night with stEwarD - see you tomorrow."
"The other call was from a woman named Morgan. I didn't write it on the phone pad. She said she was going to have to cancel her date with you tonight. She said she had a bad cold. She'll call tomor-"
"What time did she call?" Erica frowned.
"Early this afternoon. I was really busy and-"
"Did she leave her phone number?"
Becky shook her head. "I thought you probably had it. I'll call information."
At her desk, Erica laced her Stone through her fingers. She was concerned. Morgan had said she needed to be careful about getting colds. Becky came into the office.
"Information didn't have a number. It must be unlisted. I'm sorry."
"Shit," Erica muttered. She thought for a moment. "The gallery will have it."
"I'm sorry, Erica," the voice at the gallery said. "Morgan is on a blue card. A blue card means I can't give out the number under any circumstances."
"You don't understand," Erica insisted. "I'm a friend of Morgan's. We've known each other for many years. She called this afternoon. She's ill and I feel she might need some assistance."
"I'm sorry," the voice said. "If you'll call back in an hour."
Erica glanced at the clock. "Thanks I - by the way. I was there for the opening. There was a piece I particularly admired. It was two forms moving together... very graceful, almost erotic. I think it was called Life With You. I would like to purchase it. I'd appreciate it if you'd put it on my account."
"Just a moment, Erica. I'll check on that for you."
While Erica was waiting she formed a plan. She would buy some orange juice and other supplies and drive up to Morgan's. If Morgan didn't have a doctor she would get in touch with Victoria.
"Hello, Erica. I'm sorry. There is a SOLD sticker on that piece. We have another piece here about the same size and price range. It's called Life Without You. Would you like that one?"
"No," Erica said uneasily. "Thanks."
* * * *
Erica looked at the bag of groceries on the seat of her car and wondered if there was anything else Morgan might need. She turned off the highway and started up Topanga Canyon. The darkness here, just a few miles out of the city, never ceased to amaze her.
The narrow road leading to Morgan's house was even darker. Suddenly Erica felt uncertain. What if Morgan was sleeping. Maybe she didn't like people coming without calling first. It had been so many years. Erica realized how little she knew about Morgan. For a moment she had an image of Leona and Guy at the gallery and their implications about Morgan's sexual prowess. For a microsecond Erica wondered if Morgan had gotten a better offer. She dismissed the thought. Morgan wouldn't do that.
She parked in front of the house and got out of the car, taking the bag of groceries with her. The light was on. Good, that meant Morgan was probably still awake. In fact the light was very bright. Erica was surprised. Usually artists liked more subtle lighting.
Closer to the house, Erica stopped walking, she stopped breathing and she stopped thinking. She could see perfectly. Morgan was lying on the sofa, and a woman with light blonde hair and pale skin was sitting on the floor next to her. They were illuminated in the light of two Stones!
Erica turned. Why had Morgan...? Tears sprang to her eyes but she fought them with all the determination she possessed. It couldn't be true. Morgan was not superficial. Morgan was...
She put the groceries back on the seat of her car and sped off.
Inside the house the young woman said to Morgan, "Did you hear something outside? I thought I heard a car."
Morgan stroked Britain's hair lovingly. "Sometimes cars get lost up here. Somebody probably turned onto the wrong street."
Britain looked at the Stones. "I was so disappointed yesterday when I didn't get a chance to meet Erica. That portrait of her... she's so pretty."
"She is much more beautiful now than when that portrait was painted." Morgan sighed.
"It was nice of that woman, Becky, to light these Stones." Britain said. "I've never seen anything so wonderful. I hope you like the Amethyst Chevron I had her light for you."
"It's beautiful." Morgan's eyes clouded.
"Auntie Morgan, are you still upset about that kid who said that Erica couldn't come down because she was shacked up in her apartment with some redhead? I can't believe you! Mummy says you two have been in love since you were children. I'm glad Mummy insisted I stay with you till you're better."
Morgan sneezed. "I guess you're right. I wish I'd remembered to pick up some orange juice."
* * * *
Erica swung the car onto the highway, barely missing a truck. "This is crazy. I'm going to get myself killed if I don't find some way to calm down. I can't bear this..." She knew what she had to do. She had to get to the cabin and process before she exploded. She headed for the Santa Monica Freeway.
Once out of the city Erica felt better. She thought about what she was leaving behind. She probably wouldn't get to see Isica and Jessica except for a few visits, if Isa even stayed in contact. She was unpredictable.
The Center was a shambles. No one seemed to give a shit. Kelly - now that surprised her. She would never have guessed that Kelly would put her own interests above the concerns of society. Her father hadn't even bothered to tell her when he stopped Clicking. He hadn't called her since...
The miles put her problems further behind her. Isa and Julie, now there was a pair. Julie had been at the Center for... Erica tried to think of the number of years. Julie had been her second lover. The relationship hadn't been perfect but Erica thought they were at least loyal friends. Her loyal friend had made love with Isa behind her back.
Erica exited the freeway and headed up the paved road to the cabin. She thought about Morgan. No. The problem wasn't Morgan. It couldn't be Morgan. It was the Stone. The Stone that old witch had given her as a child. It was a curse. If it wasn't for the Stone she wouldn't have all these problems. If she hadn't been so dazzled by the light, maybe she would have been more aware when Morgan had awakened sexually... Maybe.
Suddenly it didn't make any difference. Erica thought about the soft wall - and the path. The old witch had told her she would one day walk that path. It was suddenly all very clear. She pressed down on the accelerator. She drove the car as she herself was driven. The tires squealed and skidded on the gravel.
Her jaw was set. She drove with one purpose - a final act. Fuck them all. Fuck the witch, fuck that fucking Britt, and fuck Kelly with all her fucked-up priorities. Fuck all the goddamned Clickers with their fucking alphabet soup of special interest Clicks. Kelly was right. It was too late.
Erica pulled the car over to the side of the road in a hard stop. She got out and walked to the edge and looked at the st
raight drop in front of her.
In one swift movement she hurled her Stone as far as she could, screaming, "I hate you!"
An echo mocked her.
"Fuck you!" she screamed.
The echo laughed.
She turned and ran trembling with fury to her car. She couldn't cry. She was nauseated but couldn't vomit.
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