She looked down from the heights and saw the earth below. She swooped down toward it in a rocking motion, back and forth. She was closer. She was right above it. It was the ocean - she became the whirlwind scooping up the wetness and spraying it into the clouds. There was a giant wave - rising higher and higher. Erica pushed against it with all her force and might. The wave fell back - crashing. It became a quiet lake. Erica became a soft breeze. Everything became still.
Morgan's face loomed before her - glistening and lovely, reflecting the light from the fireplace.
Erica was dripping with perspiration.
Morgan scooped Erica into her arms and covered her with kisses. The fire that had been kindled in her heart thirty-seven years ago was now aflame.
* * * *
The fireplace was dark. The last glowing ember had turned to ash.
Erica and Morgan were holding each other, bodies entwined. They watched the dancing shadows of the silver goblets cast on the wall by the fluttering flame of the nearly consumed candles. Each woman snuggled and sighed in turn, pressing her face against the face of her lover.
After a while Erica asked curiously, "When you were inside me, it felt like giant butterfly wings. How did you do that?"
"Oh," Morgan held up two fingers and demonstrated moving them separately - drumming the air.
"Hmm." Erica nodded.
Morgan said, "When you were holding me on your lap, it felt like you were shaking my entire insides. How did you do that?"
Erica waved two fingers in the air. "It wasn't so much what I was doing as the position of your body. Your body was very relaxed so the muscles in your vagina were very malleable."
"Hmm," Morgan said.
~ Chapter 34 ~
Erica awakened and looked at the sleeping woman beside her. Waves of gratitude washed through her as she gazed at Morgan's face and the curved shape of Morgan's body underneath the blanket. She quietly got out of bed and went into the bathroom.
She was startled when she switched on the light. There were towels with Morgan's monogram and a row of towels monogrammed "E." On the counter was a bathrobe folded neatly, displaying Erica's monogram. She picked up the toothbrush next to it, expecting to see her initial; instead she read Colgate.
Erica luxuriated in the shower, enjoying the force of the warm water on her skin, her thoughts continuously on the sleeping woman in the other room.
Morgan was just opening her eyes when Erica opened the door and stepped into the bedroom. She smiled and stretched. "What can I do?"
"I think you've done enough," Erica said honestly.
Morgan laughed. "That's not what I meant. I was just saying my morning prayer."
Erica looked at her curiously.
"Actually," Morgan admitted, "it's the only prayer I ever say. When I see something I like I ask what I can do to preserve it. When I see something I don't like I ask what I can do to change it."
"What about the things in between?"
Morgan shook her head slowly. "For me there is no in between. I either like the way things are or I don't."
Erica mused, "What can I do."
"You can make some coffee." Morgan made a dash for the bathroom. "I take mine black."
Erica could hear the water running in the shower when she came back into the bedroom. She put the tray on the table and looked at the evidence of their love-making, her gaze drawn to the two kimonos in a heap on the floor. She picked them up and pressed Morgan's kimono to her face breathing in the essence.
She opened the closet door to hang them up and again was astonished. On one side of the closet Morgan's things hung neatly. The other half was empty except for a row of hangers and a jacket she recognized as one she had loaned Morgan when they were teenagers. On the wall above was a poster made from a blowup of a snapshot taken when she and Morgan were children. She turned on the light to better see the poster.
As in every picture Erica had seen of them together, they were touching. Erica was looking at something in Morgan's hand and Morgan was looking at Erica.
Erica hung up the kimonos and stepped back again to look at the poster. She mused: I was looking at Morgan's Stone instead of looking at Morgan.
Morgan came out of the bathroom toweling her hair. Erica turned and moved toward her. She put her arms around her lover and pressed against the warmth of Morgan's body. "I'm feeling very emotional. You've done so many things to make me feel-"
"I did those things for myself - to keep alive the possibility you could love me again." Morgan wrapped her arms around Erica and rocked her gently.
"Again?" Erica rubbed her face softly against Morgan's. "Couldn't you see it in my face when we met the other day?"
"Yes," Morgan admitted, "but I'm talking about before that. I put that poster up in the closet months ago."
Erica tilted her head and looked at Morgan questioningly. "I decided ten years ago that we would be together - after you told me you still felt something for me."
"I didn't see you ten years ago." Erica eyed her. "I didn't appear to you the way-"
"No," Morgan laughed. "You bought some of my work and got copies of the documentation. You know Leona wouldn't have done that for you without asking me."
"Why didn't you contact me?"
"I wanted to surprise you. I returned to California and went to the Center. You weren't there, and while I was waiting I saw a picture of you on Undine. It occurred to me I would need a place for Petite Dame so I asked a woman named Julie."
"She told you about Emma's," Erica guessed.
"She drove me there." Morgan caressed Erica's face. "On the way she told me about Isa."
"She never told me," Erica whispered.
Morgan hugged her. "Let's take our coffee outside."
When they walked into the garden with their coffee mugs, Morgan's face lit up in appreciation for the beauty of the day. Her lips formed the silent prayer: What can I do?
Erica was watching her. "Why do you say that prayer?"
Morgan took a sip of coffee and thought for a moment before answering. "I used to feel quite helpless. Then I found out I could do something about the events in my life. The prayer is just an affirmation of that fact."
Erica put her arms around Morgan and was about to kiss her when she spied steam rising behind some bushes. "What's that?" she asked curiously.
"The hot tub."
Erica released Morgan and went over to look. "It looks very hot."
"The air is still a little cool. The steam just gives the illusion of being hot." Morgan set their coffee mugs on the deck. She watched Erica disrobe and step into the tub.
"Do you leave the heater on all the time?" Erica moved her hands in the water and then sat on the ledge.
"No, I turned it on last night. In case... we needed more time." Morgan took off her robe and stepped into the water.
Erica reached behind her and got their coffees. She joked, "Don't you think thirty years is enough foreplay?"
Morgan sat next to Erica, their shoulders touching. "More than enough." Morgan grinned. "I knew I was ready - I just wasn't sure about you," she teased.
Erica handed a mug to Morgan. "I'm still curious about the poster. You said you put it up months ago."
"I did many things," Morgan told her. "When you announced your separation from Isa I sold my house and studio in New Mexico and moved back to California. I've always liked Topanga, so I looked for a house up here large enough for both of us - and there's room for the girls and another room for you to use as an office and-"
"Why didn't you call me?" Erica was incredulous.
"I was going to." Morgan was flustered. "I wanted to be sure. You know lesbians are always breaking up and making up. I wouldn't do anything to interfere with-"
"But what if it hadn't worked out?"
"It didn't," Morgan reminded her. "Isa came back."
Erica reached down and caressed the inside of Morgan's thigh. "In every picture I've ever seen of us we were touching."
"I always loved touching you," Morgan confessed, "until I knew I wanted to make love with you. After that it was torture."
"You stopped touching me."
Morgan found Erica's hand and squeezed it. "I had to stop, it meant different things to us."
Erica moved Morgan's hand to her breast. "All the things that seemed like mysterious coincidences - were planned by you."
"Not planned, exactly." Morgan squeezed Erica's nipple gently between two fingers. "Whenever I felt a little down because my great master plan wasn't working out I would ask..."
"What can I do?" Erica offered.
Morgan nodded. "Whenever I ask that question it stimulates some kind of action - or sometimes the answer would come from someplace else." She slid her hand down to Erica's belly.
Erica put her coffee mug on the deck. "Do you mean like a voice?" She ran her fingers through Morgan's pubic hair.
"No - I mean like the day I woke up depressed and went from room to room saying: What can I do?" Morgan put her mug on the deck. "That afternoon I got the L.A.S.C.C. newsletter and there was an article about the new computer system you were installing at your centers."
Morgan dropped her hand to Erica's lap. "I called Bill Cranston and had him send someone to install one here."
Morgan looked smug. "My depression lifted right away."
"Whenever I woke up depressed - I always visited my refrigerator all day. I think I like your system better." She moved her hand between Morgan's legs. "What if it really hadn't been in the cards for us to be together?"
Morgan moved her legs apart slightly. "If it hadn't been a possibility - it wouldn't have raised my spirits when I did those things." Her hand moved between Erica's legs.
Erica's fingers found Morgan's clitoris. "I'm so glad it worked out the way it did."
"I am too," Morgan sighed. "I love touching you so much." Her fingers found Erica's clitoris.
"In my wildest dreams I never imagined how wonderful you would be." Erica pressed toward Morgan's fingers.
Morgan caressed her. "Did you dream of making love with me?" She pushed against Erica's fingers.
"So many times." Erica caressed Morgan and moved her hips rhythmically causing the water to slap against the sides of the tub.
Morgan slowed the rhythm of her caress. "You are so beautiful."
Erica looked into Morgan's face. Tiny beads of perspiration were forming above her lip. "Nothing could be more beautiful than the way you look right now." She moved her fingers more rapidly. "You know exactly how to touch me." Her eyelids flickered.
"I've touched you a thousand times in my dreams." Morgan increased the cadence of her caress.
Erica moaned and arched her hips.
Morgan was transported by Erica's moan. She arched her hips and dug into the floor of the tub with her heels.
The water lapped disinterestedly against the sides of the tub.
"Erica!" Morgan whispered.
"Morgan!" Erica cried out.
Together they collapsed, gasping and reaching for each other.
Erica suddenly became aware of a chopping sound overhead. She looked up. "Oh, shit!" she groaned. "Some jerk is up there watching us. Didn't you hear the helicopter?"
"Yes," Morgan panted, "but I didn't want to stop."
"But he saw us!" Erica wailed.
"No he didn't," Morgan assured her. "All he saw was two women rubbing each other between their legs."
Erica looked disappointed. "Is that all it was?"
"Of course not," Morgan soothed her. "We were making love, but he couldn't see that. Watch." She reached for her robe and pretended to take something out of her pocket. Then she looked up and pretended to write.
The helicopter sped off.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing," Morgan reached for her. "But he saw me write down the number painted on the bottom of his chopper."
"Aren't these tubs supposed to bubble?" Erica asked. Morgan laughed. "Do you want the bubbles on?"
"No," Erica admitted. "I want to kiss you."
~ Chapter 35 ~
Erica felt around in their bed for her Stone. She looked on the floor around the bed. "I have to find it. I just don't feel dressed without it."
"It's here somewhere." Morgan looked under the dresser. "Mine was over there by the bed."
"Maybe it got kicked under the bed." Erica searched on her hands and knees. "Yes, here it-" Next to her head and lighted by her Stone was an attaché case. She thought she heard a sound coming from it. She reached for her Stone and brought out the case. "What's this?"
Morgan smiled. "A sound-activated tape recorder. I bought it before my first exhibition. I thought I might learn something by listening to people's reactions to my work... but after listening I decided I didn't like-"
"What do you mean, sound activated?"
"Sound turns it on." Morgan sat next to her on the floor.
"What kind of sound?" Erica wanted to know.
Morgan opened the case to show her the mechanism. "Any sound. See, my voice is causing it to operate right now."
"I see." Erica's voice was deliberate. "What was it doing under the bed?"
Morgan flushed. "As... an artist... documentation of an important event... last night with the ceremony and our first Clicking after almost thirty..."
Erica raised her eyebrows.
"I couldn't very well stop and turn the machine off," Morgan defended herself. "Things happened pretty fast. We'll erase the other-"
Erica dived for Morgan. "I think that is just about the kinkiest-"
"Erica, no!" Morgan gasped. She caught Erica in her arms. "Please-"
Erica looked into her lover's face.
Morgan drew Erica to her and kissed her. "We really will erase the rest of the tape. Last night was so important to me."
Erica captured Morgan's mouth with her own. She could feel Morgan's arms tighten around her.
Morgan sat up and leaned against the bed. "We better get moving if we're going to Santa Barbara today."
"What's in Santa Barbara?"
"You said you'd come with me today to look for a horse," Morgan reminded her. "If you don't want to go today we can-"
"No, I forgot," Erica lied. She looked at her watch. It would be an hour before Emma brought Undine and Mignon.
She put her hand on Morgan's knee. "When we were in the hot tub and you told me about the computer... and all of those other things you did... I was very moved, but I was so fascinated by what your fingers were doing I didn't want to interrupt what was happening."
Morgan looked at her; her eyes were shining. "I would have done anything in my power to have you with me."
Erica was captivated by the expression in Morgan's eyes. Suddenly she was aware of a light above Morgan's head. She lifted her eyes. Sitting behind Morgan was a majestic woman. She had her hands on Morgan's shoulders. On her head was a close-fitting helmet with a small oblong emblem in front. Inside the emblem was an insignia. The woman's eyes were riveted on something above Erica's head.
Erica was transfixed. She felt something touching her shoulders. The woman sitting behind Morgan lowered her gaze to Erica's face. Her expression was a blend of love, compassion, wisdom, trust, acceptance and joy - but amplified to a degree Erica could not fathom. For a golden moment Erica was bathed in ecstasy.
Slowly, the woman began to disappear - sinking into Morgan - and for a flicker of an instant the woman's eyes shone from beneath Morgan's lids.
"I've only seen that expression on your face once before." It was Morgan's voice.
Erica looked at her, still stunned. "We were talking and then," her eyes questioned, "did you see anything?"
Morgan shook her head. "Just the expression on your face. It was the same expression you had last night after we made love."
"Those two busts you made when you went back to Paris. The two women with helmets - who are they?"
"I don't know," Morgan told her. "One night I saw them in my mirror.
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