Hate the Way He Loves Me

by Stacey Covington-Lee

  “Thanks for the reminder, Zoe, but I’m very aware of my dating history, or lack thereof. But to answer your question, my supervisor had him come in for a lunch meeting, but then he got called away and asked me to meet with the client instead. His name is Alvin and he seems so nice, nothing like that controlling jerk I dated before.”

  “You can’t get in trouble for dating him can you? Would it not be considered a conflict of interest?” Concern was written all over Martha’s face.

  “Not at all, during our meeting we discovered that my firm can’t handle the type of accounts he has, they’re too large for us. We’ve referred him to another accounting firm that would be a better fit for his business needs. And before y’all ask, yes, I’m sure I want to do this. I’ve talked at length with my therapist about getting out more and living a life that’s normal and appropriate for someone my age. I trust her when she says that I can handle a relationship. This may or may not turn into a relationship, but if I don’t at least go out with Alvin I’ll never know.”

  Zoe didn’t know what to say, she’d always felt like Pam was a child she had to protect, that’s just how it had been. But now Pam was sounding so mature, talking more sensibly than they were used to. Zoe couldn’t help but think that maybe seeing a therapist wouldn’t be such a bad thing. If they could build this kind of confidence and growth in Pam, what could one do for her? As quickly as the thought came to her mind it was gone, she dismissed it feeling that she was of strong mind, will, and body and didn’t need a therapist telling her how to move forward with her life.

  “Wow, Pamela, I’m pleasantly surprised to hear you talking like this,” Martha gushed as she began again to stuff her mouth with the Italian meal she’d prepared. As she chewed her food, she turned her head in Zoe’s direction. The look on her face asked the question that her mouth was too full too verbalize.

  “Mom, don’t start. You can be happy for Pam without trying to throw me into the mix. I’m fine and we all know that I’ve started going out more and more with Desi and April. I enjoy every minute that I’m out with them and will continue to socialize and have a good time. So you can take that cute little question mark off of your cute little face,” Zoe said with a smile.

  “You want me to see if Alvin has a friend?” Pam snickered. They all burst into laughter knowing that Zoe would never allow anything like that.

  Saturday rolled around and it felt as though they were getting Pam ready for her first prom. They had gone out and purchased her some new peep toe black pumps, a black blazer with a red blouse, and skinny jeans. She’d gotten her hair done earlier and Zoe treated her to a manicure and pedicure. Pam looked beautiful with her shoulder length, silky hair and rocking body. Stepping out of her normally old maid type clothing, she seemed to stand an extra two feet tall and had all the confidence in the world. The doorbell rang and the Shaw women giggled like school girls.

  “Hi Alvin, come on in. Let me introduce you to my mom, Ms. Shaw and my sister, Zoe.”

  “Good evening ladies, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Alvin nervously shook their hands.

  “It’s nice to meet you too, Alvin. So what are you guys doing tonight?” Zoe questioned.

  “We have reservations at this nice little supper club downtown. I’ve heard the food is great and that the band is phenomenal.” He turned his attention to Pam. “You do like music don’t you?”

  “Absolutely, sounds like we’re in for a very entertaining night.”

  “Not too entertaining,” Zoe warned as Martha elbowed her in the side in an attempt to shut her up.

  “Well, on that note we’re going to go before we miss our reservation. Ladies, I’ll see you both later.” Pam turned and headed out the door on Alvin’s arm.

  “Looks like you’re my date for the night,” Martha joked.

  “Get your shoes, old lady; let’s go catch that new Tyler Perry movie.”

  “Really, Zoe?”

  “Yeah, really. I might even splurge and buy you some overpriced popcorn.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  What Zoe thought was impossible had actually happened. She had become inspired by her older sister. Over the past couple of months Pam’s relationship with Alvin had blossomed. She was honest and forthcoming with him about her abusive past as well as her trust issues. He’d even accompanied her to a couple of her therapy sessions so that he could have a better understanding of her issues with intimacy. He was indeed Pam’s Prince Charming, all because she opened her heart and allowed him to be.

  Zoe sashayed over to the dresser and picked up the business card she’d received months ago. She’d tried to be more open to the men that showed interest in her, but none had captivated her the way that Ramon had. Finally she decided to stop fighting it and just call the man. After all, he might very well be her Prince Charming.

  The phone rang twice as Zoe nervously bit her lip. Then that wonderfully masculine voice answered.

  “This is Ramon, how may I help you?”

  “Hi Ramon, my name is Zoe. You may not remember me, but we met briefly about three months ago. You stopped me as I was leaving”

  Ramon interrupted before she could finish trying to make him remember her. “Of course I remember you. You had the gorgeous face with the sad eyes. I’ve been waiting for you to call.”

  “You have?” Zoe questioned.

  “Yes indeed, what took you so long?” Ramon chuckled.

  “I wasn’t sure that I was ready to start dating.”

  “Did you just ask me out on a date?” Ramon teased. “I gladly accept, when should I pick you up?”

  Zoe became flustered as she tried to correct her statement. “No I wasn’t asking you out, I was just trying to explain that I didn’t know if I was ready for the possibility of dating or if-”

  “Zoe, it’s ok, I was only teasing. There’s no need to explain. But since the word was mentioned, will you please allow me to take you out on a date?”

  “We know nothing about one another, Ramon. For all I know you could be a mad man,” Zoe only half teased.

  “Hmm… Let’s see, I’m one of two children, I own my own business, I’m originally from Los Angeles, and my social security number is 222-88-8988. Now can we go out?”

  With laughter in her voice, Zoe gladly accepted his offer. They talked for a few more minutes and after providing her address, Zoe disconnected the call. Smiling ear-to-ear, she was already looking forward to the time they would share Saturday evening.

  For the first time in a long time, Zoe slept like a baby. Only pleasant dreams accompanied her throughout the night. She woke up refreshed and could hardly wait to get to work and share her news with April.

  The day was flying by and Zoe had barely had a chance to even say hello to her friend. She was thankful that they’d both be able to get away for a late lunch. To save time, they decided to walk across the street to the deli. The food was okay, but the time they saved driving allotted them more time for conversation. “So tell me, what has you looking all cheerful today?” April inquired as she took a bite of her turkey sandwich.

  “I called him, girl, I finally called him,” Zoe declared as she stirred a packet of sugar into her glass of iced tea.

  “Okay, I have no idea who you’re talking about. I mean can I get a clue, buy a vowel, or something?”

  “You know, April, I forget what a sarcastic little thing you can be sometimes,” Zoe giggled. “Remember I told you about the guy that stopped me as I was leaving the restaurant behind Desi? I finally worked up the nerve to call him.” Zoe was all smiles as she shared her act of bravery.

  “That’s awesome, Zoe! So did he remember you, what did he say, is he interested in going out, and how many kids does he have?” April pelted Zoe with questions like hail does the ground during a storm.

  “Damn, what ever happened to one question at a time?” Zoe asked rhetorically.

  “Just answer me.”

  “Yes, his name is Ramon and he remembered me; he said that he’d bee
n waiting for me to call. We’re going out Saturday and I have no idea if he has kids or not. We didn’t have a long, drawn out conversation which means we’ll have plenty to discuss on our date.”

  April looked at Zoe with the sweetest smile on her face. “I’m happy for you, Zoe. More than any woman I know, you deserve a good man and true happiness. Who knows, Ramon just may be the man to give it to you.”

  “Let’s hope so…,” Zoe blushed.

  “Oh gracious, I forgot to ask you the most important question of all. What are you going to wear?”

  “That depends on what you help me pick out when we go shopping tomorrow.” They giggled, finished their lunches and returned to work.

  The week flew by. The shopping was done and Zoe was hoping that her nerves would fall into place just as her beautiful outfit had. For some reason she hadn’t been able to shake this ongoing case of the jitters. Her excitement had turned to anxiety and she’d been threatening to call and cancel the date. But April, Pam, and her mom encouraged her to go and enjoy herself. They’d preached that she had to trust someone sometime and she’d be cheating herself if she didn’t at least take this opportunity and give Ramon a chance. Desi on the other hand told her to go with her gut. He insisted that when Mr. Right came along she wouldn’t have these kinds of doubts. However, knowing how overprotective Desi was, she didn’t give much weight to his argument. In Desi’s eyes no man would ever be good enough for her.

  She was expecting the doorbell to ring any second, but until it did, she looked in the mirror and spoke positive affirmations. “This is just a date and it will go well. I am a beautiful woman inside and out and deserve to be in the company of a gentleman. God knows my heart and will protect it and me.” Then it happened…ding dong. She took a deep breath and headed towards the living room only to see Desi coming through the door. “What are you doing here, Desi?”

  “I came to meet this dude you’re going out with and to see if I get any kind of bad vibe from him. You know if I do you’re not going on this date.”

  “Desi, you do realize that I’m a grown woman and that this date is going to happen regardless of your vibe.”

  “I know you’re grown, but-”

  Zoe cut him off in mid-sentence, “It really wasn’t a question, sweetheart.”

  The doorbell rang and Pam rushed to answer. She didn’t want to keep Zoe’s date waiting, but mostly she wanted to see what the guy looked like. She swung the door open and greeted him with a huge smile. “Hello, please come in. I’m Pamela, Zoe’s sister,” she almost sang as she extended her hand to shake his. Ramon shook her hand, offered a warm smile, and quickly scanned the room. “Hello everyone.”

  Zoe stepped forward with a smile on her face. He looked even better than he did when they first met. She drank in every detail, from his thick, dark, wavy hair to his bronze complexion and fine, well-toned 5 foot 11 inch body. “Hello, Ramon, it’s nice to see you again.”

  “Zoe you look beautiful.” Clearly, everything about her physical appearance was pleasing to Ramon. The two of them stood in awe of one another until Desi reminded them that they were not alone when he rather loudly cleared his throat.

  “Oh my goodness, where are my manners. Ramon, this is my mother, Ms. Shaw; my best friend in the entire world, Desi; and you’ve met my sister, Pam. Everyone, this is Ramon Martinez.” Handshakes were given and pleasantries exchanged and after a little small talk, the couple was ready to leave for what would hopefully be a wonderful evening.

  As they headed for the door Desi reached out for Zoe’s hand and pulled her to him, whispering in her ear, “You don’t have to go if you’re not comfortable.”

  Zoe whispered back, “Do you see him, he’s gorgeous. But don’t worry, Dad, I won’t be out too late,” she teased and kissed him on the cheek before walking out the door.

  The three that were left behind ran to the window to see Zoe ride off with Ramon in his beautiful, midnight black Infinity M37. “Wow, that’s one good looking man. My baby sure knows how to pick ‘em,” Martha declared.

  “You are right about that, Mama. That is a sexy little thing right there. I bet all of Zoe’s apprehension flew out the window as soon as she laid eyes on him,” Pam teased.

  “Humph, I can’t deny that he looks delicious,” Desi chimed, “but it’s just something about him that seems a little shady.”

  Martha gently placed her hands on Desi’s cheeks and looked him in the eyes. “Anyone who dates Zoe is going to seem shady to you. You’re over-protective and yes, I totally understand why, but you’ve got to let the girl go find her life. None of us want to see her alone and lonely for the rest of her days.”

  “You’re right, but I swear if he does anything to hurt her I’ll kill him.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Zoe sat quietly in the passenger seat as Ramon navigated the car through the city. He periodically glanced over at her, taking in her beauty. Yeah, I can definitely work with this. But he couldn’t help but notice that she wasn’t exactly comfortable in his presence.

  “Are you okay over there?” he asked.

  “Oh yes, I’m fine.” Her response was curt and he wasn’t sure if she even wanted to be out on this date.

  “Zoe, you seem so uncomfortable and awfully quiet. Are you sure you’re up for going out tonight?”

  It was not her intent to come off so uptight. Zoe took a deep breath and gave Ramon a slight smile. “No, I absolutely want to go out tonight. I guess it’s just been a while since I’ve dated and I’ve obviously forgotten how to relax and enjoy myself,” she joked.

  “I hear you, I haven’t exactly been a dating machine myself,” Ramon confessed.

  “Yeah right, I find that a little hard to believe. I bet you’re out with a different woman every week,” she half joked.

  Ramon grabbed his chest as if he were hurt. “Why would you say that? You know I’m a pretty shy guy, it takes a lot for me to even approach a woman,” he spoke as if he were truly wounded.

  “Well forgive me if I jumped to the wrong conclusion, but you didn’t have any trouble approaching me.”

  “Actually, young lady, you approached me. It was you that left your table and headed my way, remember?”

  Zoe couldn’t help but laugh. The ‘I’m so innocent’ way he spoke and foolishness that he was saying were quite comical. “I didn’t approach you, I was simply leaving the restaurant. If you remember correctly, I had to pass you in order to exit the building,” Zoe chuckled.

  “Woman please. You purposely let your friend go ahead of you and waited til I was positioned in your path before you even got up. Then you come walking up looking all good. I was hip to your little plan from the start.”

  The broad smile on Ramon’s face was captivating and Zoe found herself all out laughing. He had used his charm and sense of humor to put her at ease and she liked that…a lot. Her body language and demeanor were sending a different message, one of comfort and openness.

  Ramon pulled into a downtown parking garage and the couple took the short walk through Centennial Olympic Park to one of Zoe’s favorite steak houses. How could he have known how much she loved Ruth’s Chris? They had the perfect table overlooking the park and the wine he suggested was divine. All nerves that either of them may have initially had had magically disappeared. While they waited for their meals to arrive, the conversation flowed like waterfalls.

  “I want to know all about your life, Ramon. Where are you from, do you have a big family, how did you land in Atlanta?”

  “Do you always fire questions off in sets of threes?” he teased.

  “What can I say, enquiring minds want to know. So, start talking.”

  Ramon took a deep breath as if he were contemplating how open he would be with Zoe. “Let’s see, I’m originally from Los Angeles, but left the West Coast with my adoptive family when I was twelve. I have one brother, but we were split up and I haven’t seen him since moving to Georgia.” He found himself revealing more than he wanted because
he knew that his answers would only lead to another question, a question that he hated supplying the answer to.

  “Wow, I couldn’t imagine being taken away from my sister. Do you mind if I ask what happened to your parents?” Zoe timidly asked.

  “They died,” he said flatly.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” The way he replied and the change in his demeanor let Zoe know that she needed to step back from any further questions. She assumed that with time, he’d let her know how they died and if he’s ever tried to reconnect with his brother. But for now, a change of subject was in order. “So, how do you like Atlanta? I’m still in my adjustment period and haven’t really done enough to gauge how I’m going to like the city long term.”

  “You’ll love it,” he chirped in a much better tone. “There’s a ton of great restaurants, decent night life, and some great excursions you take at a moment’s notice.”

  “Ok, well I’m not much of a club girl, but the excursions sound interesting.”

  “Oh yes, there’s sky diving, white water rafting, zip line-”

  Zoe held up her hand. “You can stop right there cause I’m not jumping out of anybody’s plane or swinging through the trees like Tarzan. I’m not quite that adventurous.”

  Laughing at her instant refusal of anything adventurous, he decided to suggest something a little tamer. “Then how about we keep it simple but fun with indoor rock climbing? That can be our next date,” Ramon offered confidently.

  Cocking her head to the side with a smile, Zoe asked “What makes you think they’ll be a second date?”

  “Just hoping,” he responded with a wink.