Hate the Way He Loves Me

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Hate the Way He Loves Me Page 16

by Stacey Covington-Lee


  “Who the hell is she?” Desi asked bluntly.

  “This is Rich’s girlfriend and of course Rich is the asshole that got locked up with Ramon last night,” Zoe answered. “So, Candy, what brings you out here?” She asked again.

  Candy moved her right hand behind her back as if to hide something. “I just came by to see if you were here and to ask why you would press charges against Rich? Whatever happened between you and Ramon had nothing to do with my man.”

  “Are you serious?” For your information Candy, your man tried to ram his nasty ass penis down my throat last night. He is a freaking evil bastard and I don’t understand why in the hell you have stayed with him all these years.”

  As Zoe and Candy went at each other, Desi moved around so that he could see what Candy was hiding behind her back and was shocked to see one of the long lighters used to ignite a fire in a grill. He stepped closer and yanked it out of her hand. “What were you going to do with this?” he asked rhetorically.

  “Oh my gosh, you were coming over here to set my stuff on fire Candy?” Zoe asked in disbelief. “Are you ready to join them in jail? Because burning my property carries a destruction of personal property charge dumb ass.”

  “Okay, I know you’re upset and I’m sorry for everything that happened to you last night, but there is no need for you to start calling me names. I didn’t do anything to you and I won’t stand here and be dogged by you,” Candy’s voice trembled as she spoke. It was almost as if she were this meek little girl on the verge of tears.

  Zoe and Desi looked at each other in a semi state of confusion. It was clear that Candy wasn’t capable of handling a serious confrontation. “Candy, I’m not trying to dog you,” Zoe assured her. “But I do want to know why you would come over here to torch my stuff and how did you find out so quickly that I filed charges?”

  “Rich called me from jail, said one of the jail employees told him you’d just left and had filed charges against him and Ramon. He was so pissed Zoe. He told me to come over here and light the stuff in the trashcans.”

  “You didn’t question him, didn’t tell him that you didn’t want to trash my stuff?”

  “Are you crazy! Haven’t you learned that you don’t question what Rich says, you just do what you’re told. The quicker you learn that the better off you’ll be,” Candy advised.

  “Why is that? Even Ramon does what Rich says. It’s like he’s got y’all trained or something.” Zoe was trying to figure out why Rich had so much power over everybody.

  “Of course Ramon is going to do what Rich says, Rich is his brother,” Candy explained.

  “No, Ramon told me that he had a brother, but after his adoptive family moved him down here he never saw his brother again.”

  “Rich found out where Ramon had moved and found a way to get down here too. He said that Ramon was the only family he had left and there was no way he’d allow anyone to separate them.”

  Zoe was feeling overwhelmed by everything. At this point all she wanted was to get the hell out of there and to the sanctity of her mother’s home. “You know what Candy? You can burn the whole damn house down for all I care. I’m out of here and what I know for sure is that I’ll never return. Lets’ go Desi.” She turned to walk away and Desi followed close behind.

  “You’ll be back,” Candy mumbled. “You’ll be back or you’ll be dead.”

  Stunned, Zoe stood in place, took a deep breath and replied, “No I won’t and if you had the sense God gave a gnat you’d take this opportunity to leave too. They’re both locked up and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep it that way.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  It would be less than a half hour before Pam arrived at Alvin’s house. He was more nervous than he’d imagined he would be. Yes, he saw Pam all the time, she spent the night quite often and their love making was now a regular event that she had become totally comfortable with. Hell, she was even becoming more adventurous in the bedroom. But despite all of that, he had never asked her to marry him. As a matter of fact, he’d never asked anyone to marry him. In his mind and heart, no one had ever been worthy until now. In his eyes, Pam was an exceptional woman. She’d been through hell and back, worked through her issues, and become one of the strongest women he’d ever known. Her new found confidence was incredibly sexy. He found her to be very attractive, of course, but that’s not what he loved most about her. Her heart, soul, honesty, vulnerability, strength and intelligence drew her closer to his heart with the passing of each day. So much so that he could no longer imagine his life without Pam Shaw.

  Pam’s session with Shellie was almost over. She’d shared with her therapist all that was going on with Zoe and how much she feared for her sister. But one thing Shellie took note of was that of all the things Pam had mentioned, Otis hadn’t been one of them and Shellie viewed that as a victory. Pam had allowed her concern for others and her relationship with Alvin to take center stage in her life. She was no longer giving Otis power or top billing in her life. Otis had thankfully been moved to the back burner.

  “I couldn’t help but notice that of all the things and people we’ve discussed today, Otis wasn’t a part of any of it,” Shellie noted.

  “You know Shellie; there are bigger issues right now. My greatest concern and biggest source of happiness have nothing to do with that drunken loser and everything to do with my sister, mother, and Alvin. Besides, I haven’t seen him or the person that so strongly resembled him. I’m starting to think that it was all in my head. And quite honestly, even if it were Otis and if I saw him again today, I’d probably spit in his face instead of run and hide,” Pam said boldly.

  “I have never been more proud of anyone than I am of you right now Pam. You are truly an overcomer and an example to women everywhere. Do you realize how many abused women struggle for years and years before they’re able to make as much progress as you have? You should be really proud of yourself,” Shellie gushed like a proud mama bragging about her baby.

  “I am proud,” Pam smiled. “But I do have to admit that I am a little afraid about something else.”

  “And what would that be?”

  “I think Alvin is going to ask me to move in with him and I’m not sure if I can do that.”

  “It is a big step Pam, but why the hesitation? I mean from what I understand you’re already spending the night quite often.”

  “Yes I do, but I don’t know if Mama is ready to live all alone. Her life is work, an occasional luncheon with Alvin’s mom, and home. She won’t consider dating and with me gone, I imagine she’d be mighty lonely.”

  Shellie tapped her pen on her notepad and glanced out the window at the downtown skyline. “Pam, I never share my personal life with my patients, but I will share this with you. After my father and older sister died, my mom moved in with me. We stayed together for six years and I didn’t allow myself to branch out too far away from her. I didn’t think she’d be able to go on without me. But then I met my husband, we fell in love and I realized that I couldn’t give up my life for my mother. That’s a sacrifice no child should ever have to make. And once I married and moved out, my mom began to be more social with the folks in her community and even started doing volunteer work. She found herself and is happier than she’s been in a very long time. Now you have to give your mom the chance to find herself. You have to live for yourself and give your mom the opportunity to do the same.”

  “I know that you’re right, but part of me wonders if I’m the one who’s not prepared to live separately from her,” Pam confessed. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “But you know if he asks and I say yes, I can always go running back to Mama if it doesn’t work. I mean it’s not like we’re getting married,” she chuckled.

  Pam had been listening to her favorite Peace, Love, Music playlist as she drove to Alvin’s. He’d asked her to come straight over after her session and she imagined that tonight would be the night he popped the big ‘move in’ question. But she was ready fo
r it, she’d been thinking about everything Shellie had said and in her heart she knew that waking up with Alvin everyday would thrill her. She even went as far as practicing how she’d say yes as she drove to his neighborhood and the closer she got to his house, the more excited she became. In no time, Pam was whipping her car into Alvin’s driveway and was all prepared to change her and her mother’s life for the love of her man.

  As she approached the door Alvin opened it just enough to allow her entry. The lights were dim, the music of Chris Botti filled the air, red roses were placed throughout, and she was greeted with a flute of champagne. Pam was very moved by all the trouble that Alvin had gone through to set the mood for the evening. As she looked around and then back at Alvin, her heart seemed to spill over with love. “To what do I owe this surprise?” she asked softly.

  “You owe it to the fact that I love you,” Alvin replied as he gently kissed her lips. He was a little surprised that Pam almost immediately began to kiss him more aggressively, more passionately. It was clear to see that she was ready to take things straight to the bedroom. It wasn’t the way Alvin had planned, but only a fool would stop a woman as beautiful, and now, as sensual as Pam from getting the love she was craving.

  The flutes were now empty and sitting on the coffee table and Pam was seductively undressing for her man. She slowly removed her blouse and skirt and stood proudly before Alvin in a lace bra, thong, and stilettos. Alvin was amazed by her incredible body and was unable to hide his excitement. The bulge in his pants was a dead giveaway of just how much he wanted her and how turned on he was by her boldness. Until now, Pam hadn’t felt comfortable with Alvin seeing her so close to naked, but now she seemed to revel in it. She stepped to Alvin confidently and gently nibbled at his lips as she undressed him. When his pants dropped to the floor, Pam dropped to her knees. She was a little nervous because she’d never done this before, but Alvin was excited beyond belief. She first licked his manhood gently, circling the tip with her tongue before taking him into her mouth. With each motion of her head she took in more and more of him and his moans were confirmation that she was doing something right. When she felt his leg begin to tremble, she slowly stood to her feet and kissed him passionately. He returned her kisses as he removed her bra and set her beautiful breasts free. Just the sight of her erect nipples made his heart race a little faster. He moved his kisses to her breasts, sucking and licking on one, then the other. Her heavy breathing was like her signature on the permission slip that allowed him to go further. Alvin laid her down on the sofa, spread her legs, and began to feast on her love. The more he licked and sucked the more her juices flowed. Pam had never felt anything as good as what she was feeling now. Her body shivered and pelvic muscles contracted until she’d experienced the orgasm of a lifetime. But yet she still wanted more, she wanted to feel Alvin inside of her and he was more than happy to oblige. He entered her ever so gently, but quickly began to increase the force and speed of his motion and in her excitement, she matched his every movement. The explosion of their climax was epic.

  After catching their breath, the couple made their way to the bedroom where they relaxed into each other’s arms. Alvin kissed Pam on the forehead and spoke softly, “Baby, I want to ask you something.” A smile spread across her face because in her mind she knew exactly what he was about to ask. “You know I love you baby and every day I’m grateful that you came into my life. We’ve grown so close, so much so that I can’t imagine my life without you.” He maneuvered his body so that he was looking down into her eyes. “Pam, what I’m trying to ask is…will you marry me?”

  Pam was stunned and trying to figure out if she heard him correctly. The words ‘Did he just say marry?’ echoed in her head. This was not what she had planned for and honestly, not at all what she wanted. Pam’s desire was for a committed relationship and she felt that they already had that and didn’t need a stupid piece of paper confirm it. Her mind was flying as she tried to figure out the best way to respond.

  “Baby, what do you say? Will you marry me?” Alvin asked again as he tried to figure out what her hesitation was all about.

  Pam reached her hand up and gently caressed his face. Her eyes filled with tears and she smiled at him so sweetly. “I love you so much Alvin and my life has improved tenfold since you walked into it. You are without a doubt the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but marriage is huge, it’s a bigger move than I ever imagined I’d make.”

  Alvin looked as if he’d been punched in the gut. He sat up in bed and Pam did the same. With his voice cracking from disappointment, he asked, “So are you saying you don’t want to be with me long term? Is this just a temporary fling to you?”

  “No! That is absolutely not what I’m saying. You are my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, just not as your wife. I fully expected for you to ask me to move in with you and I was totally prepared to say yes. I’d love to live here with you so that we can build a life together, but we don’t need a marriage certificate to do that.”

  “Pam, I want a wife not a roommate.” Alvin reached back and grabbed a jewelry box from the nightstand drawer. He opened the top to reveal a magnificent emerald cut diamond ring. Pam was in awe of how lovely it was and when he slid it on her finger she couldn’t help but look at her hand with new found admiration. “Tell me that you want more Pam; tell me that you’ll be my wife.”

  “Alvin, tell me that we can live happily ever after without the marriage vows,” she pleaded.

  “I can’t do that. Shacking up is not enough for me.”

  “And marriage is too much for me.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Zoe was feeling confident and free knowing that Ramon was no longer a part of her life. The charges that had been filed against him in conjunction with her past complaints were surely enough to keep him locked up until his trial date, or so she thought. But a visit with Harvey would completely change all of that. She’d gone by the hospital to thank him for coming to her defense and apologize for the beating he’d suffered because of her. She quietly entered his room carrying a beautiful bouquet of flowers. She thought he was asleep, but slowly he turned his head in her direction and smiled when he realized who had come to see him.

  “Hey there Zoe. What are you doing here?”

  “I came to pay my knight in shining armor a visit. How are you?” she asked as she took notice of his swollen and bruised left eye, arm cast, and tube that appeared to be attached to his chest.

  “I’ll live I suppose, but I have to admit, they got me good.

  “Was any permanent damage done?” Zoe asked hesitantly.

  “Nah, the worst injury is the punctured lung. Apparently they broke a couple of ribs and that caused the puncture. But the doctors put in a chest tube for drainage and it should heal just fine. How are you?”

  “I’m fine…” her voice trailed off as she tried to hold back her tears. “Harvey, saying thank you seems so inadequate for what you did for me. I truly believe that you saved my life and I am more appreciative than you’ll ever know,” Zoe said as she wiped the tears she was no longer able to hold back. “If there is anything that I can do to help you just say the word. I’m glad to reimburse as much as I can of the salary you’ll miss during your recuperation.”

  “Zoe, that’s not necessary and you don’t owe me a thing. If anyone is owed something it’s you. I’m sorry that I let it go on as long as I did. Rich and Ramon are a couple of heathens, they’re sick,” Harvey spat in disgust. “Please, whatever you do, stay the hell away from Ramon once he’s released. If I were you, I’d seriously consider moving so that he won’t know where to find you or your family.”

  “Is that really necessary? I mean they won’t be getting out of jail anytime soon. The assault charges are not exactly misdemeanors.”

  “No they’re not, but those two have a stash of cash and unless they’re given a million dollar cash bond, they’ll be able to get out,” Harvey informed her as he watched the color drain
from her face.

  “Where did they get that kind of money and is it true that they are brothers?”

  “How did you find out they’re brothers? I mean there are only a couple of people that know and even fewer know that before Rich moved here to find his brother, he was a drug dealer. He made a ton of money and when the cops got on his tail, he packed his bags and his money and headed south.”

  Zoe shook her head in disgust. Of all the men in Atlanta, how had she allowed herself to get involved with the likes of Ramon? She thought she knew how to read all the signs, how to differentiate between an abusive man and a good one. But her instincts had failed her or maybe she’d just failed to follow her instincts. Either way, it was time for her to make some serious changes and as much as she hated to put her family through it, they would have to suffer through the changes as well. The thought of it all weighed heavily on her and she no longer tried to wipe away the tears or hide her emotion. “Harvey, I don’t know how I could’ve been so stupid. I’m supposed to be a better judge of character,” she sobbed.

  “There was no way for you to know Zoe. Trust me, they have perfected their game. Rich learned from his father and he passed all the sadistic lessons on to Ramon. They treat their women like queens at first and once they’re sure the women love them, they flip on them. It’s like they’ll beat these girls into submission, threaten them until they’re too scared to take a shit without permission.”

  “Is that what happened to Candy?”

  “Yep, Rich has beaten the poor girl into complete submission. I swear she’ll do anything for him, she’d kill herself if he told her to.”

  “Yeah, she actually came by Ramon’s house to set all my stuff on fire because those clowns called her from jail and told her to. She told me either I’d go back to Ramon or I’d be dead.”

  “No Zoe, you won’t die at his hands, but if you go back I swear I’ll kill you my damn self. Now before they get released go find yourself somewhere else to live. He won’t bother you at work, he’s too smart to make a public scene, but if he knows where you live, he’ll show up and try to torture you for the fun of it. Now I’ll be out of here in a couple of days, so jot down my number and if you need me just call me. I’ll always do anything I can to protect you from that damn Ramon.”

 

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