by Lori Wick
“Do you think I don’t know? Do you think I can’t see? Hannah told me about her decision for Jesus. My own little daughter believes in God, but I don’t! Clancy will be next, and then this baby. What am Ito do then?”
The silence that fell between them was painful. This was not what Seth imagined. He had known that the root of Jessie’s problem was spiritual, but not that she had worked this out for herself. However, he was not going to ignore her questions.
“You’re to stay and be part of our family, that’s what you’re to do. We love you and need you.”
“That’s not true. You won’t need me for much longer,” Jessie said with more calm, sitting down, her eyes going back to the fire. “You’ll all have God.”
“We’ll always need you, but I’m not going to try to persuade you of that. I have some questions for you,” Seth said, starting in even though she wouldn’t look at him. “Why don’t you believe there is a God?”
“I just don’t I don’t know how anyone can.”
Seth stared at her and then stood and went for his Bible. It was in one of the food baskets, and he brought it back and turned to the New Testament.
“I need to read something to you. This is from the book of Romans, chapter one and verses 19 and 20. It says, ‘Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shown it unto them. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse.”
Seth didn’t think she’d looked at him at all, but he kept talking. “These verses say that all that’s been made shows that God exists. You’re staring at the flames right now, Jessie. Can you imagine trying
283to make that? Can you imagine anyone you know, the most brilliant or talented person you’ve ever known, creating fire?”
Jessie didn’t look at him or answer, but she did as he said. She tried to think of how fire was made, realizing for the first time that there had to have been a start.
“Everything around us speaks of a creator. Nothing just happens. Every flower, every fire, every person has a designer. Nothing so miraculous as the human body can just happen.”
Seth waited, but Jessie still watched the fire. She didn’t look upset, and Seth only hoped she was listening.
“If Hannah can understand that there’s a God, why can’t you?” Seth asked next.
Jessie looked at him, sure it was some sort of trick. The question seemed unfair to her, and she felt attacked. Her gaze went back to the flames.
“I’ll tell you why,” Seth continued, knowing the risk was huge. “Your pride won’t allow you to need anyone or anything. If you admit there’s a God, then you’ll have to admit that you were wrong about something. But worse than that, it would mean you can’t handle everything alone.”
He knew she’d heard him this time because her jaw clenched in anger. Seth did not want to do battle with her, so he came to his feet. He began to work on a meal, putting together some of the food he’d brought. He told Jessie what was there and sat down at the small table to eat, leaving it up to her if she wanted something.
“How much food did you bring?” Jessie asked about noon the next day. They had talked off and on for hours, sleeping very little in the night.
“There’s enough here for a week,” Seth said, having brought plenty and also seeing that Marty Carlisle had things well stocked. “Why do you ask?”
284”Leave me,” Jessie said. “Head back to town and leave me here. Come back for me on Friday night.”
“Why, Jessie? Why would I do that?”
“I need some time. I need to think about what to do.”
“I can’t leave you here alone,” Seth said, but Jessie was shaking her head at him.
“Bart and Marty are home. Tell them as you leave that I’ll be here for the week and that if I have a need I’ll come.”
Seth wrestled with his heart. It was a reasonable request, but he hated leaving her this far from town, even with the Carlisles nearby.
“Please, Seth.”
Seth managed a tortured nod and then reached for her. He held onto Jessie tightly and she hugged him in return. His heart felt broken for what had become of them, but he knew there was nothing more he could do. This was between Jessie and God, and she needed to work it out.
“If you change your mind,” Seth said, “have Bart take you to Brad and Meg’s. They’ll bring you home.”
Jessie nodded and then Seth kissed her carefully and with great tenderness. He looked into her eyes and begged her with every fiber of his being.
“Find Him, Jessie,” he whispered. “Search in humility with your whole heart and find God.
“Or don’t find Him,” Seth added, surprising Jessie’s mouth open. “Come Friday, I’ll be coming for my wife. Ineedmy wife. I need her beside me all my days. I want you to know God and have a relationship with His Son, but the girls and I love and need you. No conditions. We want you back no matter what.”
Seth looked at her for a long time before slipping out the door. Jessie stood very still, his words still sounding in her ear. She looked into the fire and thought about every word Seth had said to her, knowing it was best that she be on her own.
285
Epilogue
June 1890
Six Years Later
“WAS THAT THE TRAIN?“Seth asked for the fifth time.
“Oh, Papa,” Hannah laughed at him. “That was Milly’s dog next door.”
“Oh,” Seth said, sitting back in his chair in the living room, working not to be disappointed.
Eliot was headed their way. Eliot, Cassy, Nate, and Lindy were coming from Texas to Token Creek for a visit. Seth knew what day they should arrive, but not which train. The morning train had come and gone-actually on time for once-but the afternoon train had yet to make an appearance.
“Clancy,” Seth suddenly said, “did you dust your room?” “Yes,” she said, smiling a little because he’d already asked. “And the beds are all ready?” Seth asked next.
Both girls assured him all was well, and a moment later, fiveyear-old Susan made a sound from her bed.
“Go and get her, will you, Hannah?” her father asked.
Hannah did as she was asked, carrying her youngest sister, flushed and sleepy from her nap, down the stairs and into the living room.
286”Did you sleep well?” Seth asked her when Hannah placed Susan in his lap.
The little girl lay against him, smiling when their eyes met. Seth began to talk into her precious face and missed the sound of the back door opening. Hannah went that way and met her mother.
“How is he?” Jessie asked.
“He keeps asking us the same questions, and he thought Milly’s dog was the train.”
Mother and daughter shared a warm, fond smile before Jessie fell to putting things away. Clancy arrived to help, and it wasn’t long before Jessie made it into the living room.
“How are you?” she asked, bending down to kiss Susan’s flushed cheek.
Seth said nothing, watching Susan and Jessie absently. “Seth,” Jessie tried again. “How are you?”
“Oh, you were talking to me? I thought you were asking Sue.” Jessie bit her lip, but Seth still saw the hidden laughter.
“All right, you can tease me, but your brother isn’t visiting for
the first time.”
Jessie kept smiling and took the sofa. Susan wanted into her lap, and that’s when they heard it. The unmistakable sound of the train whistle. The girls ran from the kitchen, and Seth nearly leaped from his seat. His brother had arrived.
As usually happens when cousins haven’t met or seen each other, it was awkward at first between Nate, who was 17, and Lindy, who had just turned 14, and Hannah and Clancy who were 15 and 13 respectively. Susan was only too delighted to be playing with all of these big kids, and her cousin Lindy could not get enough of her. Indeed the youngest of the group served as the
icebreaker, and before long all were talking and finding things to do in the yard as if they’d known each other for years.
287Unlike the children, there was no awkwardness in the living room. Seth and Eliot took up as though they had never been apart, and Jessie andCassygrew comfortable with each other almost from the first moment.
They talked about the long train trip and different things they’d seen, and then Jessie asked about Texas. She’d never been out of Montana, which had become a state, and was fascinated by the thingsCassyshared about Texas.
It didn’t take long, however, for the talk to turn to personal and spiritual matters. They had corresponded over the years, but there was nothing like sharing news face-to-face.
“Cassy,” Seth said, “tell Jessie about Lindy’s voice.”
“Oh, my,” the mother remembered. “That was a miracle.” “How long had she gone without talking?” Jessie asked.
“Well, she’d watched her father die when she was just shy of three,
and I came to Christ when she was seven, so almost five years.” “And it happened overnight?”
“The moment I told them. I had prayed and asked Christ to save me, but I hadn’t told anyone. I knew it was time to sit the kids down and explain it to them, and the moment I did, Lindy spoke.”
“What did Nate do?” Seth asked.
“He cried at first and then grew scared. He said he’d done a lot of wrong things, but I told him he could be forgiven.”
“Did he believe then?”
“No, but it was soon after. Lindy actually believed first.”
“Your turn,” Eliot said to Jessie. “I want to know your side of what happened at the cabin.”
“Oh, my,” Jessie said, repeating her sister-in-law’s words and then turning to exchange a look with Seth. He only smiled and sat back, looking forward to hearing this again. “That was a hard time. I was so upset that he’d taken me out there, and then I could have kicked myself when I asked him to leave me on my own.
“I remember sitting in front of that fire and thinking it was no
288use. I couldn’t believe in God. I looked at the fire for a long time, and it didn’t help.”
“I had asked her who had made the fire,” Seth put in. “I had challenged her to think about that.”
“Yes, and I tried,” Jessie continued. “I don’t know what I would have done if Seth hadn’t forgotten his Bible.”
“Did you really forget it?” Cassy asked him.
“Really,” Seth said, shaking his head at the memory. “Jess was in a bad enough way. I thought she might burn it to get back at me.” “But you read it,” Eliot said.
“Yes. I started in Genesis. I had never read any of it before, and I was captured. I could not stop reading. It got dark out, it got light again, I ate a little, I slept a little, and I read.”
“How far did you get?“Cassyasked.
“Through Genesis, and then I remembered that Seth said he’d been reading in John. So I found the book of John and read that. I did not understand everything. In some ways it only brought more questions, but I knew I’d been selling God short. I didn’t know if I could have the personal relationship that Seth had, but I knew God was there.”
“Tell about the mouse,” Seth prompted.
“Oh, that mouse!” Jessie exclaimed and then laughed with the memory. “I’d almost forgotten. I had been very afraid of mice my whole life. It was the last day, I knew Seth was coming that night, and I was looking forward to seeing him and telling him I wanted to know more. I had just made myself something to eat when I spotted a mouse by the fireplace.
“At first I froze, but then something came over me. I remember thinking that God must have created mice and all other animals. It was the first time I found myself assuming that God had a part in creation. I somehow found the courage to use a broom and chase it away, and as soon as it was gone I started reading in Genesis again, this time choosing to believe that God is the Creator.”
“What happened when Seth got there?”
289”I just told him I needed more. I told him I was ready to hear
more.,,
“How long before you believed?“Cassyasked.
“It was the next summer. We met every week with our pastor and his wife, and one night I knelt in their living room and made God my Savior.”
“How about the girls?” Eliot asked, and Seth took that one. “Hannah believed before Jessie, not long after we moved into the house. Clancy was after Jessie and Sue was last year.”
“How are you doing with yourself?“Cassyasked, and Jessie knew just what she was talking about.
“I don’t think God has any more children for us,” Jessie said. “I don’t know if Seth wrote you after the last one, but I’ve had three miscarriages in a row. Some days are hard, but I’m so thankful for the girls, and I know God has a plan. I’m willing for that plan.”
The adults talked about their church families until the kids came in looking for supper. Jessie had prepared a feast, and they all talked their way through the meal. Seth caught up with Nate and Lindy, and Eliot got to know his nieces. Eventually someone remembered that they were all going to be together for four days and not everything had to be talked about the first night.
“Tired?” Seth asked Jessie as they turned in. The four of them had talked until the kids went to bed, and then talked again until their own bedtime.
“I am,” Jessie admitted, “but wound up too.”
Seth put his arms around her. “I’m so excited to have them here. It’s a dream come true.”
“They’re so special. I loved hearing about their church and the ranch.”
“Shall we visit them next time?”
Jessie smiled. “Talk about a dream come true.”
290Seth’s hands framed her face as he looked into her eyes. “It was great to hear your salvation story again.”
Jessie had to smile. “In some ways it seems like yesterday.”
“I’m glad it wasn’t,” Seth said dryly. “We’ve learned too many things to lose them now.”
Jessie wrapped her arms around him and held him close. God had done the most amazing thing in her heart. He had done the impossible. He had taken a lifeless heart, one that was cold and dead to Him, and brought it back to life. Since those days alone in the cabin, Jessie had never been the same.
“You’ve never been the same,” Seth suddenly said.
Jessie laughed and said, “I was just thinking the same thing.”
Jessie stared into Seth’s eyes, still amazed at how far they’d come. Seth looked right back, more in love with this woman today than he’d ever been. He knew only God could do what had been done in their lives, and the woman in his arms that he was just about to kiss was sweet proof of that each and every day.
291
Dear Reader,
Please allow me a few words of greeting. I hope you enjoyedJessieand the other two Big Sky books. In this book I incorporated a character from another series, something I’ve never attempted before. It was a challenge, but I think it was worth the-time and energy.
For my readers who have been with me for a while and suspected that Seth was from another book, you were right! For my first-time readers, you’ll find Seth Redding in the Yellow Rose Trilogy, in the middle book titledA Texas Sky.
Whether you are a first-timer or a longtime Lori Wick reader, I thank you for choosing this book. I pray for all my readers and thank God for you.
Warmly in Christ, Lori Wick
P.S. Meg presented Brad with a third daughter. They named her Elizabeth.
292
LORI WICKis a multifaceted author of Christian fiction. As comfortable writing period stories as she is penning contemporary works, Lori’s books (6 million in print) vary widely in location and time period. Lori’s faithful fans consistently put her series and stand-alone works on the bestseller lists. Lori and her husband, Bob, live with their swiftly growing family in the Midwest.
To re
ad about other Lori Wick novels, visitwww.harvesthousepublishers.com
293
Books by Lori Wick
A Place Called Home SeriesA Place Called Home A Song for Silas The Long Road Home A Gathering of Memories
The CaliforniansWhatever Tomorrow Brings As Time Goes By Sean Donovan Donovan’s Daughter
Kensington Chronicles
The Hawk and the Jewel
Wings of the Morning Who Brings Forth the Wind The Knight and the Dove
Rocky Mountain MemoriesWhere the Wild Rose Blooms Whispers of Moonlight To Know Her by Name Promise Me Tomorrow
The Yellow Rose TrilogyEverj, Little Thing About You A Texas Sky City Girl
English Garden SeriesThe Proposal The Rescue The Visitor The Pursuit
The Tucker Mills TrilogyMoonlight on the Millpond Just Above a Whisper Leave a Candle Burning
Big Sky DreamsCassidy Sabrina Jessie
Contemporary FictionSophie’s Heart Pretense The Princess Bamboo & Lace Every Storm White Chocolate Moments
294
Jessie Wheeler knows how to take care of herself and her girls. The owner of Token Creek’s general store has been doing it for a long time—nearly eight years—since the day her husband walked out on her.
Seth Redding, Jessie’s husband, has clone a lot of thinking in those years, some ofitin a jail eel Looking back on their marriage, he can’t believe he left Jessie andtheirbaby. It was true that Jessie had her own way of doing things and could be hardheaded. But they had shared a special kind of love too, at least early on. If only he’d known then what he knows now…
Seth is a changed man, but will he ever be able to show Jessie that? Will she even let him try?
978-0-7369-2080-3 ISBN-10: 0-7369-2080-3