“What’s the name please?” she asked Clare in an abrupt, almost rude tone.
“Err, Clare. Clare Browning. I have an appointment at 11” she answered.
“Is that Miss or Mrs?” replied Helen with the same tone as before.
“Miss” said Clare with a puzzled air to her voice.
“Take a seat Miss Browning. I’ll see if Mr Chartwell is free to see you” Helen barked in a tone which reminded Clare of the head-mistress at her high school.
Helen disappeared into the treatment room and seconds later was replaced by a smiling Ben.
“Clare! Good to see you again” he said cheerily. “Please, come on through”
Clare got up and followed Ben into the treatment room. As she did she couldn’t help notice Helen standing in the corner of the room fiddling needlessly with a pile of papers.
“Helen?” asked Ben. “Is there anything else you need me for?”
“No, nothing” muttered Helen as she slowly walked towards the door.
“Please close the door on the way out Helen. Thanks” he said to her and turned to Clare.
“I’m sorry I’m running a bit late. I had a bit of an emergency down at the boat this morning. Somebody had accidentally rammed into me and I had to go and sort out the insurance. It seems like I am there all of the time these days. It’s a great place to think and get your thoughts in order. So, how have you been? How’s the back?” he asked Clare. He sounded like somebody asking an old friend how their weekend had been.
At the end of the session Ben told Clare that he thought only 2 sessions would be needed so this would be their last meeting. Clare felt that he seemed sad when he said this and surprisingly, she felt rather sad too.
Ben stood up and looked slightly awkward and embarrassed. “I was wondering…” he fumbled. “ I mean… I was hoping you would perhaps allow me to buy you dinner tonight” Clare suddenly felt hot, cold, scared and elated all at the same time. She couldn’t speak for a few seconds which Ben took to mean that he had gotten the wrong idea.
“I’m sorry” he said to her. “I don’t make a habit of doing this and I’m sure you’re in a relationship already” He could feel himself going redder and redder by the second as he tried to dig himself out of the hole he had created for himself.
“I’d love to” said Clare and stopped Ben in his tracks.
“You would?” he asked. “That’s great. How about The Rochester? Is 8 o’clock okay for you?”
“Sounds perfect” Clare said. “I’ll see you then”
Clare reached down to gather her things which were placed neatly on the chair. As she did so Ben bent to help her, unintentionally brushing her hand with his as he did so. The touch of her skin felt heavenly and for an awkward moment both of them stood in silence. It was Ben who finally broke the silence “Take care of that back Clare. Don’t go skydiving or bungee jumping for a while!” he joked.
Clare laughed at his little joke more out of politeness than anything else but she thought he was sweet to try to relieve the tension the way he did. Clare made for the door, opened it and stood in the doorway before turning and saying “Thanks Ben, see you at 8.” She walked out of the reception area past Helen who was reeling from what she had just heard. She knew something was going on between them and now here it was. How could he? After all they had been through. She thought he loved her, she thought she was special but now she knew the truth. She was his ‘receptionist’. That was all.
“Helen, can you lock up tonight? I need to leave early” called Ben from the treatment room. “Yes, that’s fine” replied Helen. “You can count on me” she added under her breath, too softly for Ben to hear. Helen’s heart was beating hard and fast in her chest. “Oh yes, you can count on me” she whispered as the pencil she was holding broke in two. Just like her heart.
Chapter 6
The restaurant was quietly busy as Clare spoke to the pretty girl on the front desk. She told Clare that her table was ready and that her guest was already seated and waiting for her. She wasn’t late so obviously Ben had got here early to avoid her sitting alone waiting for him. She liked the fact that he was a gentleman and was being considerate and thoughtful, this made her smile and a small voice inside her kept telling her that perhaps he was the one. She didn’t want to listen to that small, quiet voice but a part of her wanted to believe not all men were like HIM. That not all men would treat her the way HE had. That perhaps, just perhaps, this man was different.
The pretty young girl led her through the intimate restaurant to a table by the window. At the table sat Ben dressed in a smart, plain white shirt immaculately pressed with shiny silver cufflinks. He looked very smart and when he saw Clare he smiled warmly and stood up to greet her. “Hi Clare” he said. “You look amazing. It’s so nice to see you again” Ben walked around to where Clare stood and took her left hand in his and kissed it gently. He took Clare’s chair and moved it back allowing her to sit down. As she did so he pushed the chair forward slightly at the exact right moment so that Clare was the correct distance from the table. The whole operation was slick and smooth and Clare couldn’t help but feel special inside. Chivalry and manners seemed to be disappearing fast in this modern, hectic, impersonal world but obviously Ben still valued them highly. Ben sat down and smiled. “I’m so glad you came” he said. “So am I” replied Clare as the little voice inside her suddenly got a whole lot louder.
The evening was going like a dream. Ben was charming, confident and funny in the right combination. He talked a lot but he didn’t dominate the conversation. He was excellent at bringing Clare into the conversation and seemed genuinely interested and fascinated in what she had to say. Clare, with her typical scepticism started wondering if all of this was too good to be true. If this was for real and this was a true sample of Ben and his personality then why wasn’t he married to a beautiful model with two children and a Black Labrador? This was Clare’s suspicious, hurt inner voice telling her that all men were liars and would hurt you as soon and as often as they could. Clare managed to quieten this voice but could not extinguish it completely. She wanted to give Ben a chance, so far he had been genuine and more than charming and Clare had begun to recognise feelings for him. She thought he felt the same about her and really wanted someone to prove her fears and prejudices wrong. She wanted that someone to be Ben. She had to give him a chance.
Ben was telling Clare about his boat and about how he loved to go sailing when Clare saw something that made her heart stop. Walking into the restaurant with a very attractive woman was HIM. The man who had promised her the world but had only succeeded in destroying hers on that hot day in June. Her brain instantly raced back to that awful day bringing with it those horrific memories of what she had seen. She couldn’t breathe, she felt hot, then cold, then hot again. She had to get away, get away from HIM and the awful possibility that he might see her. Worse still, he might even speak to her. She couldn’t face that, she had to get out of there. She had to get out of there now! By this time Ben had noticed that something wasn’t right with Clare. “Are you okay?” he asked. “You don’t look at all well.”
“I… I… I have to go. I’m sorry” whispered Clare as she grabbed her expensive clutch bag and stood up. “I’m sorry” she repeated as she turned and headed for the door. As Clare made her way out of the restaurant in a desperate attempt to get away from the painful memories that had haunted her for years she couldn’t help but make eye contact with HIM. For a split second she was confronted with the man who had ruined her life but surprisingly she didn’t feel any anger or hatred towards him, only pity. She could see shame in his face but she could also see fear. What she had caught him doing was terrible and would cause any woman to run a mile in the opposite direction if she found out. She thought he looked scared; petrified that she would tell his attractive guest what he got up to when he was in the house on his own. Clare found she didn’t care about getting even with him despite all the pain he had caused her. Instead she j
ust looked straight ahead and headed for the door. She stepped out into the night and called a passing taxi. She thought of Ben as the taxi pulled away into the night. She thought about him sitting there on his own, asking for the bill and walking out alone. As the taxi sped towards her lonely, empty house she couldn’t help but feel bad for Ben. She hoped he would understand.
It seemed to Ben that the whole restaurant had stopped and stared at him with accusing eyes. He could hear them whispering about him, trying to work out what he had said to that poor woman. He could feel them glaring at him with disapproving stares and he felt like telling them to go away and mind their own business, or words to that effect! He spent a few minutes composing himself and trying to work out what he had said to upset Clare so much. He couldn’t put his finger on what it was but he felt sad, upset and a little embarrassed. He paid for the meal and walked out of the restaurant past all of the couples trying to appear not to notice him but failing miserably. He walked out into the still, cool night and made his way home. A walk would be good; it might help him to understand what had just happened.
Chapter 7
Clare hardly slept that night. She found herself replaying the night’s contrasting events over and over again in her head. When she did finally give in to sleep she dreamt of him. She was back in the hot, balmy summer when she thought her life was mapped out in fine detail and everything was exactly how she wanted it. She was entering the flat she shared with him just like she had that day but this time she knew what was going to happen, she knew what to expect but still she carried on. She couldn’t stop herself from opening the lounge door and seeing him on his knees in the centre of the room. His back was facing her and when she gasped in horror at what he was doing he turned to face her. But it wasn’t him; it was Ben, and Ben wasn’t shocked and embarrassed at being caught like he was. Ben just smiled and began to laugh.
Chapter 8
The following day Clare decided she had to speak to Donna about what happened so they arranged to meet in town for lunch. Over a frothy cappuccino Donna told Clare that she thought she had reacted quite well given the circumstances but that she had treated Ben unfairly all the same. “I really thought he might be different” said Clare as she elegantly sipped her hot coffee. “He might be!” replied Donna with a slight tinge of frustration. “You have to give him a chance. It was just bad luck that your ex happened to turn up when he did. Are you going to let him spoil what you and Ben might have?” Clare knew her best friend was right, she always was. That was what made her a good best friend. “I need to speak to him and apologise. I’ll ring him this evening.” Donna looked at her friend and sighed. “You can’t apologise for something like that over the phone. Go to his practice and speak to him face to face. It’ll mean more.” Clare knew her best friend was right again and agreed to go and speak to Ben straight after their lunch.
She arrived at the practice feeling nervous and also embarrassed. She had made herself look like a stupid, emotional wreck the night before and she also felt disgusted with herself for the way she had treated Ben. She entered the reception area and approached the desk where Helen the receptionist was filing her nails. “Hi” said Clare. “Would it be possible to speak to Ben?”
“I’m sorry” said Helen, still filing her nails. “You’ve just missed him. He only works on Saturdays when he has to fit in certain clients. What did you want to see him about?”
Clare felt disappointed that she had missed Ben but also anger at Helen for her sullen attitude and prying questions. “Not that it’s any of your business but I wanted to speak to Ben about a personal matter. Do you know where I might find him?”
At this, Helen abruptly stopped attending to her nails and turned to face Clare for the first time. “I’m sorry but I don’t. Besides I wouldn’t bother if I were you.”
“What do you mean?” asked Clare, slightly shocked by Helen’s snide remark.
“Hasn’t he told you?” sneered Helen. “Ben and I are an item. We’ve been seeing each other for quite a while now and we’re very happy!” Helen emphasised that last point the way only a possessive woman can.
Clare felt herself start to well up inside at this. She felt dizzy and confused. “You…you can’t be” she said. “He would have said. I would have known.”
“Yes, well it looks like he fooled you” replied Helen. “He was only trying to make me jealous. We had a blazing row a couple of nights ago about me sending a text message to my ex-boyfriend. He didn’t like it and blew his top. I’m sorry you got involved but it’s alright now. We’ve made up”
Clare couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Had she been so blind that she never saw what was going on? She had thought that Helen was very cold with her but had put it down to her personality and the fact that she was probably a bitch. Clare could feel tears welling up in her eyes and so she turned to the door and ran out. She didn’t want to give Helen the satisfaction of seeing her upset. She quickly walked to her little car, got in and locked the doors where she promptly burst into tears. She really had thought Ben was different but now it seemed he was just like all the rest.
After she had calmed down she decided that she wanted to make a clean break of things so she made up her mind to go back into the practice and settle her bill. She didn’t want to have to worry about that in the future so she dried her eyes and nose and went about applying the makeup she used to present herself to the world. She was an attractive woman but she felt undressed without her foundation and wouldn’t even answer the door to the postman without it. She certainly didn’t want Helen to see she had been crying. When she looked gorgeous again she ventured back into the practice and into the reception area. There was nobody there. The desk was unmanned and the computer was switched off. She was about to turn around and leave when she heard a woman’s voice coming from a small room at the side of the reception. It was Helen and she was talking to somebody.
Clare walked towards the almost closed door when suddenly she heard her name.
“…Oh. Some woman called Clare Browning. You should have seen her face. I thought she was going to start crying right in front of me. It was perfect”
It definitely was Helen and she was talking to someone on her phone about Clare and what had just happened. Worst of all, she was proud and really enjoying telling her silent friend how she had ripped Clare’s life apart.
“I told her Ben and I are an item…Yes, she did believe me. She fell for it hook, line and sinker…No, I don’t think she’ll be back…Yes, I know it was cruel but that’s too bad. If I can’t have him nobody can, especially that stuck up cow!”
With this she laughed with a high pitched, shriek which would drive any man to drink and carried on telling her friend on the phone how much she loved Ben and would stop at nothing to make him hers again.
Clare didn’t know what to think or do. On the one hand she was furious with Helen for lying to her about something so crucial to her happiness but on the other hand she was delighted that there was still a chance that she could make things work between herself and Ben. She suddenly felt extremely relieved that she had decided to come back into the practice to pay her bill. If she hadn’t she would probably never know the truth. She turned around quietly, resisting the urge to tell Helen what she thought of her destructive games and headed back to her car. This time she felt hope and gladness in her heart compared to the misery and despair she had felt only twenty minutes earlier. She had to find Ben but where would he be. Suddenly she realised. She remembered he had mentioned something about a boat and about him spending all of his spare time there. Could he be there now?
She jumped into her car and sped towards the harbour. It was five or six miles away but she hoped he would still be there by the time she got to him. She reached the harbour just as the sun was fast approaching the horizon. It was a warm evening and the air was still. Not a good evening for sailing but a perfect evening for relaxing on deck. It was only a small harbour with ten or twenty boats so she hope
d she would be able to spot him easily. She jumped out of the car, locked it and headed along the grassy path to the river bank where the boats were moored ready for the next day’s adventures. She scanned each boat carefully as she walked along the uneven path hoping to spot a glimpse of Ben. Suddenly she felt her foot slip into a large, malicious hole and felt the recognisable twang of pain as the very same ankle that had given way on that fateful day in London gave way once more. She winced in pain as the jagged shards shot up her leg, sending jolts of excruciating pain to her brain. She bent down to extract her foot from the hole but it wouldn’t budge. “Stupid shoes!” she muttered as she fumbled with the straps when suddenly a familiar pair of hands reached down and smoothly removed her throbbing foot from the hole. Clare looked up and saw Ben standing there with a smile on his face. “Hello Clare” he said. “Let me help you” He bent over slightly placing one hand behind Clare’s back and the other behind her knees. With effortless grace he gently picked up Clare and held her in his arms. She placed her arm around his shoulder as he carried her with great care onto his boat and into a strategically placed deck chair.
“That looks pretty painful” he said. “You should get it looked at. I know a great Chiropractor” He smiled at this and Clare smiled back despite the pain in her foot. “I’m sorry about last night” she said. “I don’t know what came over me. It wasn’t anything you said or did.”
“I’m glad” said Ben. “I thought I had upset you. That’s the last thing I want to do.” He looked at Clare with his deep, beautiful eyes and said “Clare…I love you. I knew I loved you the moment I met you.”
Suddenly, the pain in Clare’s foot was a million miles away. She felt something unlock inside her heart, a heavy, cumbersome weight had been lifted from within her with those few simple words. She could barely speak but she managed to say the words Ben had been longing to hear. “I love you too Ben.” He bent down onto one knee, took her slender smooth hand in his and kissed it gently. As the setting sun reached the horizon and their part of the world turned from day to night he leaned forward and with the most delicate of touches, kissed her gently on the lips.
Moving On Page 2