“I came in the other door.” Kevin sat down next to her. “What don’t you see happening?” he asked again.
Across from them Olivia waved a hand toward her brother. “Just talking about how successful a celebrity marriage will be. Nothing that would interest you.”
Lauren gave Olivia what she hoped was a smile, and for the first time all night, she thought maybe she could somehow become friends with this woman. Like Kevin’s parents and the other guests there, Olivia had been polite but not friendly. At least not until now.
“You and my sister seemed to get along well.” Kevin gave her hand a squeeze as he drove. “She doesn’t usually take to new people the way she did to you.”
“Really? Maybe it was because we found something in common, the ballet.”
“Olivia does love the ballet. She trained at The School of American Ballet in New York for years. Before my mother convinced her otherwise, she hoped to join the New York City Ballet.”
Why would any parent convince their child not to strive for what she wanted? Especially if she had the talent to achieve that goal. If she ever had children, she would never stop them from pursuing what they truly wanted. “She must have been very good if that school admitted her. Why didn’t your mom want her to continue?”
Kevin put both hands on the steering wheel, his eyes focused on the road. “Let’s just say a ballerina would do little for Walsh and Miles.”
His tone made Lauren wonder if he’d had other ambitions besides a career in business. She could not picture him as anything but a successful CEO, yet that meant nothing. Pressure from parents to pursue certain avenues in life was not unheard of. Her own parents had supported all the decisions she and her siblings made, but many of her classmates in high school had faced such pressure. If Kevin had bowed to his parents’ pressure, would he expect the same from his own children? While way too soon in the relationship to be thinking about children, the answer to such a question would tell her a lot about him. Depending on how far this thing between them went, she’d have to approach the subject. But not tonight. Who knew how he might interpret such a question?
“What did she do instead?”
“She got a degree in finance. Olivia worked for the company until she married Greg last year.”
She couldn’t imagine the woman she’d spoken with at dinner being happy pouring over financial numbers and spreadsheets. “What about you? Did you ever think about doing something other than business?”
“When I was ten, I decided to be a rock star like the ones on TV. I already knew how to play the piano, so I took up the drums. Practiced every free minute for about three years. Gave it up when I went to boarding school. I haven’t touched a drum set since.”
When she’d asked the question, she hadn’t been referring to his childhood dreams. Few people followed through with those. If they did, there would be an over-abundance of astronauts and doctors in the world. “What about later on?” They passed under a streetlight, and she noticed Kevin’s grip on the steering wheel tighten.
“No, I planned to take over for my father and then venture into politics at some point.”
“When I was ten I wanted to be an actress in the movies. Then for a while I wanted to be a dolphin trainer. Sometime around my junior year in high school I decided on teaching.”
“I’m sure your parents were happy when you decided against the dolphins.”
“I don’t think so. They always supported everything I wanted to try. Dance, singing, art classes. They did the same with Kelly and Matt. One summer they even let Matt go to space camp because he insisted he wanted to be an astronaut. What about you?”
“My parents made sure I had plenty of extracurricular activities,” Kevin answered stiffly, before lapsing into silence for the remainder of the car ride.
Chapter 6
Nate pulled into a spot in the parking lot of O’Donnell’s Family Restaurant and Pub. After a day of interviewing victims, he wanted nothing more than a cheeseburger and a cold beer. Both of which he could get here.
Passing by the door into the restaurant side, he headed straight into the pub. Despite the crowded parking lot, few patrons were inside. Two guys sat at the bar while two more played a game of pool down at the far end of the pub.
“Do you want a menu?” the bartender, a bodybuilder type with a bald head, asked when Nate sat down.
“No need. Give me a cheeseburger and a bottle of Sam Adams.”
The bartender slapped a cardboard coaster on the bar and nodded. “You got it.”
Behind Nate the door opened, sending in a blast of unusually cool April air. Nate didn’t bother to look over. Instead, he looked up at the large-screen TV hung on the wall where the sportscaster gave his predictions for that weekend’s Bruins game against the Rangers. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone pull out a bar stool and sit.
“Callahan,” a male voice said.
He immediately recognized the voice and turned to find Matthew McDonald, Lauren’s older brother, seated next to him. “Hey, Matt. On your way home?”
When the bartender put a bottle of beer in front of each of them before Matt said a word, Nate assumed Matt was a regular at the pub.
“No. I come here every Thursday night. I’m in a pool league. Starts in another thirty minutes.”
Nate took a swallow of his beer. Maybe he’d look into the league at some point. It’d be a good way to reconnect with the guys in town. Although, his job might make it difficult to commit. Most nights he got home by seven, but it wasn’t a guarantee. A career with the FBI wasn’t exactly a nine to five position.
“Lauren told me what happened the other night,” Matt said with a hard edge to his voice.
The mention of Lauren’s name caused Nate’s mind to zero in on that night at her house. Waking up from his nightmares with her leaning over him had sent his body and mind swirling through emotions. Everything from desire to shame assaulted him. That night had also told him something. Lauren still cared, despite her words of denial. She hadn’t hesitated to come in when she thought he needed her, and she’d made his favorite breakfast.
Even with the hints that she cared, Lauren still refused to outright admit it, and so far he hadn’t come up with a good way to melt the ice barrier she’d erected between them. So, rather than beat his head against it, he’d backed off.
Nate opened his mouth prepared to answer when the bartender placed his food in front of him. The scent of the grilled burger and melted cheese made his stomach rumble. He’d skipped lunch and right then he figured he could down two of these burgers. “There was no way I could leave her stranded out there. Only an asshole would do that.” Even if it hadn’t been Lauren stuck out there that night, he would have stopped and helped.
“We all know you’re not that.” Matt’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
Nate’s hand paused with the cheeseburger halfway to his mouth. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You left her to fend for herself once before.”
Using all his self-control, he brought the burger back down to the plate. He wasn’t used to anyone talking to him with such animosity and disrespect. “What the hell are you talking about?” Nate rested his forearms on the bar, his hands clenched and his knuckles white.
Matt glared at him as he took a swig from his own beer bottle. “The summer you took off for the Naval Academy and left her to handle things herself.”
Nothing Lauren’s brother said made any sense. “If you’ve got something to say, then say it. Otherwise get lost.” He didn’t even try to keep his voice low. The guy was pissing him off.
Matt’s face exploded with fury, and he slammed his beer bottle down on the bar. Around them people turned to look, and the bodybuilder bartender headed their way. “Forget did you? Let me refresh your memory. After you two graduated, you took off and left my sister behind pregnant. Real upstanding of you.”
An IED exploded in Nate’s chest and he stopped breathing. Lauren pregnant?
Baby? No, Matt was wrong. She would’ve told him. “Bullshit.” His voice came out strangled. “She never said anything.” She would’ve told him something like that.
Matt shrugged a shoulder as some of the red faded from his face. “Maybe she thought you knew. Hell, even I suspected before she told me. She was so sick that summer. She couldn’t eat anything, and she slept so much.”
He did remember that, but back then he’d assumed it was stress and anxiety. Their lives were about to change as they left for college. “I didn’t . . .” His voice trailed off as questions mounted. How could she have kept something like that from him? Where was the child now? Had she given it up for adoption? Had she had an abortion? Nate needed answers and he needed them now. Pulling a twenty out of his wallet, he dropped it next to his plate, which contained his uneaten meal. Without another glance at Matt, he stood.
“Leave her alone, Callahan. Lauren’s happy and with someone. She doesn’t need you messing up her life again.”
Nate ignored Matt. As much as his fist wanted to make contact with Matt’s face, he walked past Lauren’s brother and out the door.
Somehow, he managed to make it from the pub to Lauren’s without getting into an accident, although he didn’t know how. Anger filled him as he drove, making it impossible to focus on anything. From her driveway he saw a light on inside the house. As he approached the front door he heard JoJo barking before he even rang the doorbell. Then as if he’d conjured her up, Lauren pulled open the door, a calm expression on her face.
How can she be so relaxed? Right then he felt like a ticking time bomb of emotion ready to explode. Without waiting for an invitation inside, he pushed past her then grabbed the door from her hand and slammed it closed. Perhaps sensing Nate’s anger, JoJo stepped in front of Lauren as if to protect her.
“Nate, what’s—” Lauren began taking a step away from him.
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” Nate shouted in a harsh, raw voice.
“Listen, Nate, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but now isn’t the time. I just got home from teaching ballet to six-year-old girls. I’m tired.” Lauren crossed her arms over her chest, her voice defensive. “Whatever the problem is it’ll have to wait.”
For the first time he noticed her attire. She wore a pink leotard and gray sweatpants and her hair was tied up in a bun. Nate ignored her request, despite the evidence she’d just gotten home. She had kept this secret from him long enough. He needed the truth now.
“How could you keep that from me?” Nate advanced on her completely ruled by emotions rather than common sense. “I deserved to know you were pregnant with my child.”
All the color drained from Lauren’s face, and she swayed on her feet. “Who told you?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
The urge to lash out at Lauren while at the same time comfort her collided in his head. Her shell-shocked expression pulled at his heart, but his anger at her silence kept him from embracing her. “Your brother, but you should have. Fifteen years ago, Lauren.”
Lauren sank down onto the couch without saying another word. When she glanced up at him, her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “When you left for the Academy, I didn’t know.” Her voice quivered as she spoke. “I found out two weeks after you left. I planned on telling you when I heard from you.” Tears fell down her face. “You promised to keep in touch even though we were no longer together. You said we would always be friends, remember?”
He heard the accusation in her voice. When he’d made the promise, he’d fully intended to keep it, but then after a while he figured it was better for both of them if he kept his distance. Let her get on with her life. At eighteen it had made plenty of sense. Now, at thirty-three, he realized what an ass he’d been.
“When you never called, I got the message loud and clear, Nate. You didn’t care about me.”
Nate paced back and forth several times in front of the couch, guilt eating away at his heart. “I had a right to know, Lauren. You should’ve told me. I would’ve—”
Lauren shot to her feet. “Would have what, Nate? Come home? Left the Academy?” She advanced on him, her eyes blazing with anger now. “You made it clear when you broke up with me that your military career meant more to you than I did.”
Damn, he was close to losing control of the conversation. He hadn’t come here to talk about his mistakes. He’d come for answers and so far he hadn’t gotten any. “I broke up with you because I loved you. I didn’t want you making all the sacrifices military families are forced to make. And I—”
She moved closer but stopped short of physically touching him. “We talked about that when you applied to Annapolis. You knew I would’ve stood by you no matter what. That was my decision to make, not yours.”
Yeah, sure they’d discussed it before he’d applied, but that was before it became reality. Once it was a sure thing, he’d realized how much she’d have to give up if they stayed together while he served. At the time he made the decision to end their relationship because he honestly thought it would be best for both of them. Not that any of that mattered now. Right now he wanted to know about their child.
“If you had told me, I would have come home and taken care of both of you.” For now he needed to stick with one topic at a time. “Was it a boy or a girl?” In his heart he knew Lauren never would’ve had an abortion and she obviously had no child living with her so she must have put the baby up for adoption.
The dam holding back Lauren’s tears burst and sobs racked her body. On pure instinct he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. As she cried, he held her without saying a word. After a while Lauren’s body stilled, and she became silent. As if realizing she stood embraced in his arms, she pulled back while at the same time she wiped the tears from her face with her hand.
“I don’t know.” Lauren looked at a spot on the wall behind him while she spoke. “I miscarried at twelve weeks.”
His heart clenched with pain. “Lauren, I’m . . .” his voice trailed off. What should he say? True, it had happened a long time ago, but for him it was just happening. “What happened?”
She shrugged and met his eyes. “It’s not uncommon for a woman to miscarry that early on. Some women don’t even know they’re pregnant at that point.” More tears slid down her face, but her body no longer shook.
He knew very little about a woman’s pregnancy past the creation phase, so he’d accept her word on that one. “I’m so . . . Lauren I wish . . .” He stopped, unsure of what he wanted to say. So instead of trying again, he moved closer and gathered her up in his arms. At first she remained still, but then she wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned into him.
“I wish you’d told me so I could have been here for you.” Nate spoke softly. Anger still burned inside him, but so did loss. A child. They’d almost had a child together.
Lauren’s arms tightened around him. “It’s in the past now. We can’t change any of it.” She spoke without looking up at him.
It may have been in the past, but he needed to know. “Would you have told me after the baby was born?” He didn’t want to believe she would have kept that from him if she’d had the baby. Still, who knew?
Silence stretched out between them. When he could no longer take it, Nate took a step back, forcing Lauren to loosen her embrace. “Lauren?” Her tear-filled eyes met his, and the pain he saw in them nearly brought him to his knees.
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “But it doesn’t matter anyway. I didn’t have the baby, and we both have our own lives now.”
He’d come in pissed and hurt. Hell, he still was. Right now, though, that didn’t matter. He had Lauren in his arms, and they were talking rather than arguing. “We might have separate lives now, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still love you.” He’d never been one to be subtle, so he saw no reason to start now. Without any hesitation, he bent his head toward her for a kiss. Lauren’s tongue darted out to moisten her lips, but otherwise she did
n’t move. When his lips settled on hers, she flinched slightly but didn’t pull away.
Taking it slow, he moved his mouth against her lips and pulled her closer so their bodies touched from chest to thigh. In response, Lauren slid her arms up and over his shoulders. Then her fingers began to dance across the back of his neck. The gentle caress shot his already aroused body into the stratosphere. With his tongue he teased her lips open. When her lips parted, his tongue slid inside and rubbed against hers. He was no longer in control, and hungry for Lauren’s touch. Their kiss became wild. Moving his hands up her back, he dug his fingers into her hair, pulling it from the elastic in the process. The soft strands covered his hands, and memories of lying together with her hair tickling his chest rushed through his mind. How many times had her hair covered him as they relaxed? At the time, he never would have thought he’d miss it. But now with her so close, he realized just how much he’d missed even the little insignificant things with her.
“God, Lauren.” He pulled away when the need for air became too great. “I’ve missed you so much.” He rested his check against her hair and inhaled her shampoo.
Lauren’s hand froze in place on his neck then she jumped away from him. “Nate . . . I that . . .” she said, breathless. Her face turned red as she stumbled over her words. “We shouldn’t . . . I’m with Kevin.” She took another step backward.
He fought the urge to swear aloud. He’d thought they were getting somewhere. She sure as hell kissed him as if she wanted him. “If you loved him, you wouldn’t have just kissed me the way you did.”
“I’m happy with him.” She looked over at the dog rather than him when she answered him.
He heard the truth beneath her words. She didn’t love the other guy and she knew it. She just didn’t want to admit it to him or herself. “Be honest, Lauren. You don’t love him.” Nate took a step closer. “Maybe you can lie to him, but not to me. I know you too well. There’s still something between us.”
Lauren swallowed and held his gaze. “I always know where I stand with Kevin, and I know he won’t up and leave.”
The Billionaire's Best Friend (The Sherbrookes of Newport) Page 9