“Look at this! Isn’t it marvelous?” Mildred asked rhetorically. “You can see the bucket beginning to fill. The man said something about how he would take care of all the cleaning. How do you think he would do this? It was such a vivid dream, Geraldine, and I feel foolish believing that an actual man would come and clean out this awful slop.”
“How beautiful and… bizarre,” Geraldine said in as best mock-surprise as she could muster.
A song was faintly heard echoing from the bucket.
In olden times, through distant fields
A brave and pious warrior yields
His body carried out on shields
Oh, through the distant fields.
“Oh, oh…did you hear it?” Mildred pleaded.
“Faintly, but yes, I heard it. It was not the most encouraging arrangement.”
“My,” Mildred said. She pined over her daughter’s current state. “you, my daughter, smell like the nether-regions of Lucifer himself.”
“Mother…”
“Now that my eyes see you, you look a bit different…a bit…deflated.”
“Mother…” Geraldine repeated, trying her best to ease her way into confession, “There is a man with whom I have fallen in love.” Geraldine ignored all abrupt interjections of snorts and coughs. “This man you spoke of, he is my sweetheart, my love – the one who makes my loins rejoice and my grin widen. This very night, we shared a moment, one that can’t be touched by the rust of time.”
“Well…this man must surely be one to hold on to. He came bearing a gift and he treated my daughter with respect.” As Mildred completed her verbal thought, she finally took in her daughter’s exterior, noticing her floppy crotch. A growing collection of blood was forming in the shoddy cotton that created Geraldine’s blouse. Mildred’s eyes widened and her mouth became elastic with astonishment. “Why, Geraldine … you’re … you’re …”
“Yes, mother, he took me. We copulated and he was the most tender of lovers there could be.”
“I’ll be the judge of that!” Mildred stood up and grasped her rolling post. The tightly sutured length of magical intestine had already begun to heal and adapt to its newly found cellular juncture. Mildred walked with ease, unhampered by slugging sloshings, gliding by the assistance of her stealthy bucket-post. She burst though the curtains that separated Geraldine’s room from the main living quarters. Confronted with her moither’s encroachment, Geraldine escorted herself backwards. She was forced to plop down on her bed. The propellant wave of udders counteracted Geraldine’s weight and jostled her forward again. The clothespin spat out of her vaginal hiding place and Mildred closed her eyes and sighed.
“My daughter, what have you done? This room is nothing more that a human explosion. I fear that we have been infested by an Incubus, of sorts.”
Initially, the thought was preposterous, but Geraldine soon retaliated and countered her mother. “So what if he is an Incubus? He is in love with me. He stole my heart and he obviously cares for you as well.”
“Geraldine, all I want is your happiness, but I must warn you, the supernatural is nothing to fool with blindly. Your father…he was…supernatural himself.”
“What do you mean, mother?”
“It is a long story, but in essence, you are the offspring of a human…and,” the words stuck to Mildred’s tongue like slug slime, “…a water djinn.” She bowed her head in shame. She found solace on the cool silver rod that sprung from the slowly filling bucket. Her eyes fixed on the jittering ripples of oozing feces, remembering that fateful night.
“A…water what?”
“Oh never mind, child, just be cautious. I beg you. I cannot say more without the risk of becoming a hypocrite.”
“Mother,” Geraldine swiped away a spatter of unintentionally ignored slime and motioned for Mildred to sit next to her. “I know what my past consists of, the townspeople are no strangers to our tale. I hear what they say, the cards played by the past. I don’t care if my father was a drunk, a molester, a beater, or even if you slept with an elemental, just as you shouldn’t care that I slept with a specter of lust. These facts don’t make us further from being mother and daughter.”
“Geraldine, you truly are a brilliant, loving creature. It is times like these, where I don’t hate your father for being a supremely intelligent, immortal bastard. If you truly love this Incubus, I give you my blessing. He has won my approval. But please, can we open the doors to let this rank smell out?”
* * * * *
Lemmy sat at his flavor table, scraping away wooden shards with suddenly grown fingernails. Dried chunks of glop-encased wood clumped away as if they were escaping digestion from a sick termite. He sat perplexed at the night’s encounter. Was he really in love? Did she really love him? How could she bear the smell of him? After replaying the events repeatedly in his mind, he came to the conclusion that it really must be love. Their dream rendezvous really must have meant something. He got up as his cauldron boiled over, spattering steaming animal poops to the dusty ground. He poured a few ladles full of the foulness into a wooden bowl and slurped an evening cocktail of quasi-fresh, bubbling animal scat.
Splendor solis. Ego Dilecto Meo et Dilectus Meus. A splendorous, delicate ring formed in Lemmy’s invisible hand as his incantation abruptly ceased. An enormous diamond jutted from its surface – emerald cut and devilishly pointed. With this ring, will I wed thee. He repeated the words over and over, until he fell asleep with his spectral face in a bowl of boiling animal shit.
* * * * *
The day went on as Geraldine dutifully cleaned her room and washed the drapes, sheets and some gowns. Her perky orbs of female flesh were adorned with spots of flushed capillaries and toothy indentations. She stuffed a soft rag into her vagina to sop up the blood still seeping out from such a massive hymen tear – a pain she actually thoroughly enjoyed.
Mildred was about to start emptying her bucket, and as she leaned down, bracing herself against the silver pole, the gelatinous contents rose up in small dripping bundles and then disappeared in mid-air. A noxious odor filled the room and Lemmy appeared. Mildred opened her mouth but before any sound of startled exclamation could be heard, a poopy finger was pressed against her lips.
“Shhh, be silent my sweet Mildred. For I have cometh to beg for thine daughter’s sweet hand in marriage. Our love runs deeper than the ocean and I come to beseech thy blessing.”
As he removed his finger from Mildred’s lips, he left behind a smear of her own excrement. Mildred began to speak but before words could fill her mouth, the stench of Lemmy’s silent fart crept in. She could taste it, and without further hesitation, she retched all over Lemmy. Thou learnest slowly, libertine, Lemmy disgracefully thought to himself. He summoned another gold clothespin from a distant, unknown land and placed it on her nose.
“Thank you, handsome foul one.”
“Please, call me Lemmy. Tis my pleasure…might I say…Mother?” Lemmy’s raised eyebrow and upward inflection clearly indicated his need for an immediate answer.
Lemmy farted loudly, quietly excusing himself, not wanting to alarm Geraldine of his presence until he received her mother’s blessing. He materialized the ring and showed it to Mildred.
“Oh my heavens!” Mildred’s eyes widened. “That has to be the most beautiful stone I have ever set eyes upon. I tell you what Mr. Lemmy, I’m not a selfish person but if you want my daughter, you will need to care for me as well. I will not allow her to leave me so if you can promise to live here with us and care for us both, I will give you my blessing to wed Geraldine.”
“Oh, madam,”
“Call me Mother.”
“Oh, Mother. Thine request is fair and just. I will be most pleased to do whatev’ thou will asketh.”
“Very well. Before you go to Geraldine, there is a matter I would like assistance with.”
“Anything,” Lemmy eagerly pleaded.
“I have felt a bit constipated as of late, and desire relief. Also, there is
the matter of the minstrels. When I long to hear music, I must find a way to use the amplifying horn with this new contraption you created.”
“I have solutions to both, Mother dear. Please, allow me.”
“By all means, have at it.”
Lemmy unscrewed the nut that affixed the supernatural intestinal extension to the bucket and led it to his lips. He sucked and sucked until the stream of sewage subsided and noticed that there was indeed some form of blockage. He could very easily hear the sloshings of additional feces as he rattled her trunk, but there was a mass preventing its release.
“Mother, this is the only way. I beg thee not to think of this impending act as anything but helpful, for my love resides within Geraldine.”
“But of course,” Mildred said curiously.
Lemmy’s penis became engorged to a quite mediocre five inches and rather skinny. Mildred just couldn’t help herself. “For an Incubus, you are certainly lacking, em, virility.”
“Please, I must concentrate.”
“Terribly sorry.”
Lemmy removed the silver tip and inserted his erection into the opening of the intestinal extension, which was coated with fecal lubricant. Brown mush pulped around the base of his shaft as he pushed his penis in all the way. Mildred could, oddly enough, feel a pleasurable sensation. Then Lemmy’s phallus grew in length and girth. Mildred could see the tube tissue stretch to accommodate his enlarging member. It easily passed a foot long and thickened to the size of a forearm.
“Oh my heavens!” Mildred exclaimed again with the same wide-eyed expression as when she saw the ring.
“I must draw the obstruction out, only then will thy feel relief.”
He began pumping like a toilet plunger. He held onto the tube with both hands, looking like he was having intercourse with a discolored elephant trunk. Odd plopping sounds and tubular echoes could be heard as well as the occasional (and unintentional) grunt of pleasure from Mildred. The faint sound of musical instruments - a harp, a lute, and a violin - traveled down the magical passage of gut. It looked like a baseball was slowly moving down the length, edging closer and closer to Lemmy’s plunging erection. After another few pumps, the lump got sucked up into Lemmy’s urethra. With a wince of discomfort and a flex of his pubococcygeal muscles, he withdrew his deflating erection. A geyser of runny excrement bellowed forth like an uncorked Champagne bottle, filling the bucket as Lemmy pointed the tube downwards.
An expression of relief settled on Mildred’s face as weeks of impacted feces were depleted from her bowels. The bucket began to overflow and Lemmy brought the shit hose to his mouth once again and began gulping down mouthfuls of warm human waste. As the flow abated, Lemmy affixed the silver nozzle to the end of the tube and secured the tube to the bucket. Fart gas was now seeping from his anus, and he looked more muscular, even more handsome, blue eyes glowing like stars. He knelt down and began shoveling handfuls of bucket slop into his mouth.
“My god!” said a surprised Geraldine as she entered her mother’s room. “Lemmy, the smell is unbearable!”
“Fetch thee thine golden clothespin, my sweet love,” said Lemmy, drooling strands of shit, his face still over the bucket.
Geraldine ran back to her room with a hand over her mouth, trying to quell the urge to regurgitate. She came back with clothespin in place and wrapped her arms around the still kneeling Lemmy.
“My love, you returned! I wasn’t expecting to see you till nightfall.”
Lemmy stood and wiped the fecal matter from his chin with the back of his arm. Before he could say anything the room became melodious.
Oh, maiden fair with heart of gold
Bequeath thy love for all to behold
A man awaits from days of old
to hold your heart of gold.
This time the sound wasn’t coming from Mildred; it was coming from Lemmy - from Lemmy’s groin to be exact.
“The minstrels must have been responsible for my constipation. They must have plugged me up!” Mildred blurted.
“Now what will we do with the amplifying horn I worked so hard for?” asked a desperate and exasperated Geraldine.
Without a word, Lemmy achieved another massive erection, tumescent and rigid, and inserted the trumpet into his urethral opening. He shoved it in deep, until the metal flare was all that could be seen, the rest buried in his penile shaft. The music continued, an instrumental of tearing splendor. The moment couldn’t have been more appropriate or romantic and Lemmy reached for the ring that glinted on Mildred’s nightstand. His erection was pointing straight up and the music was flowing almost directly into Geraldine’s ear. He got on one knee, his turgid penis wavering with the slightest movement.
“With this ring, I wed thee.”
Mildred’s eyes started to well up with tears of joy and Geraldine clasped her chest as if her heart were about to burst from her chest.
“Oh Lemmy! Of course you will! I will be your wife,” she said with a dainty nod of her head.
Lemmy slid the ring onto her finger and stood. He moved his penis to the side so it would not obstruct the embrace that followed. They kissed deeply as the music played on. Lemmy let out an explosive fart.
* * * * *
A message was sent to the town pastor, a man by the name of Father Lobus who was renowned for his privacy. His sermons were written on scrap papers and left for his flock on the church benches. Mildred and Geraldine both agreed that the townspeople should know as little as possible about Geraldine’s marriage, so they felt his quirky demeanor suited the secrecy of the ceremony. He agreed to the proposal under the condition that the only people there would be the bride, groom and Mildred and that he would be positioned in the shade. The terms were easy to agree upon and the wedding was scheduled for two days after the message was received.
Geraldine and Mildred tidied up their home and did extensive gardening for the outdoor ceremony. The colonthemums bloomed and looked marvelous. Sunlight refracted in their transparent, watery petals creating mesmerizing prisms that danced in the breeze. A simple yet beautiful altar was built, adorned with grapevines, roses, snapdragons, daffodils, and of course, colonthumums. During these two days without Lemmy, Mildred saved her shit in the cauldron that he’d brought over and set up the night that he proposed. It was the only thing he asked to accompany him – he left his flavor table, knowing that he’d never need its assistance again.
* * * * *
The morning of Geraldine’s wedding day, Mildred walked to the bog where her ex-husband was last seen. “Lothar,” she began, “I don’t care if you can hear me, but if you can, I don’t expect you to respond. I just want to let you know that your daughter is getting married to an Incubus. He is kind, caring, and thoughtful…everything you were not. If you want to see a real man, maybe you should pop in and see your daughter with the man she loves. Just a thought…but don’t you dare let me see your wretched hide.” She spat a cluster of bubbly saliva in the still water and walked back to her house to get ready for the ceremony.
She wore forest-green thigh high stockings and a matching green three-button vest that holstered her pendulous breasts and left her midriff and intestinal tube exposed. Then she pulled her sagging labia behind her legs, over her buttocks and around her hips, tying them in a fleshy bow above her bellybutton like a decorative belt.
Geraldine was in her bedroom wearing her mother’s sparsely woven crinoline with no under garment. Her vulva looked relatively normal after being deflowered. Appearing slightly wilted, her pubic mound dangled without the structural support of a hymen. Her privates looked similar to her mother’s but instead of saggy lips, her clitoris hung lower like a flaccid penis buried in excess elbow skin. The rest of her body would be typically classified as ‘flawless.’ Above the crinoline she wore a white corset, courtesy of Ernest and Lionel who chipped in and purchased it from the town tailor as a reported birthday present from Mildred.
Mildred stood in the doorway of Geraldine’s room admiring her daughte
r – fumbling as she attempted to pin up her hair.
“Here, daughter, let me help.”
Geraldine swung around, slightly startled. “Oh, mother, thank you.” She cleared her throat.
“Are you nervous?”
“Not in the least. I’m concerned about Father Lobus though. He has no clothespin and I’m not sure if he will be able to properly recite the ceremony without gagging on poor Lemmy’s unpleasant smell.”
“Don’t you worry dear. If anything, it should be amusing.”
“But Mother, I don’t want it to be amusing, I want it to be perfect.”
“It will, Geraldine. It will.”
They fixed each other’s hair. Mildred wore hers down, to her daughter’s protest, but she was slightly self-conscious of her facial moles and wanted them shielded – even though only four would bare witness to the ceremony.
A knock on the front door announced the arrival of Father Lobus.
“Are you ready, Geraldine?” asked her mother as she nodded her head towards the door.
“Yes, yes I am Mother.”
“Well then,” she touched her daughter’s cheek, “let’s go.” They proceeded to greet the pastor. “Wait, let me tighten your laces.”
Geraldine bowed her head as her mother retied her corset. “Thank you Mother. Thank you for your blessing and thank you for the gift. I feel like a princess.”
“It was nothing, child. Come.”
* * * * *
As they went outside to greet Father Lobus, Lemmy – in spectral form – lounged in the kitchen. His cauldron was simmering, containing a thoughtful conglomerate of the two women’s excrement. He indulged himself, wolfing down almost three days worth of collected feces. His tummy began to churn and almost immediately he released a low, rumbling fart. Lemmy’s tall, lean frame materialized. His dark, shiny hair was straighter, lacking the curls that were normally his natural appearance. His penis started to grow, twitching and writhing like a snake until firm. It became larger than his forearm, and with each heartbeat, it wavered in restrained circles. He held the amplifying trumpet and spit on the thin tube, lubricating it with saliva. Slowly, Lemmy inserted it into his accommodating urethra. Once it slid as far down his shaft as it could go, he flicked the spot of skin that covered his bladder. “Dawdle not, music masters. Gather ye thine instruments, for merriment awaits!”
Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms Page 4