“I assume you’re exaggerating and that your engineering knowledge isn’t that pathetic,” Cutter said.
“Thank you. I think.”
Borti snorted and tugged at his tuft of a beard. Jev had let his shaving regimen lapse during their trip upriver, but most of Borti’s jaw was as smooth as his head, which was as smooth as the metal boiler Cutter was patting lovingly.
“Maybe you should come along and plant the device,” Borti told Cutter.
“Swimming isn’t a strength for me,” Cutter said with a shudder. “I sink like a rock. And you’ll have to swim to shore—I don’t think the captain can land this boat without a dock—and then swim out again when the other boat appears. Make sure to keep my bomb dry.”
Jev nodded. He’d assumed he would have to hold it out of the water while he swam. He prayed to the founders that no alligators happened to be going for a moonlit paddle as he and Borti attempted this.
“Jev can handle it,” Cutter said to the skeptical-looking Borti.
“So long as he doesn’t confuse any wine barrels with boilers along the way?” Borti asked.
“You’ll be there,” Jev said, “so you can correct me if I try to blow up a fine elven red.”
“Who else is coming? Horti? Zenia?”
“If your brother is willing to go for a swim, I’ll gladly take him. Zenia… I think the shaman will sense her dragon tear if she tries to get close to him. And I’m certain she won’t want to go into danger and leave it behind.”
“Are you even planning to tell her about this?” Cutter asked.
A good question. Jev didn’t know if she would approve—or agree—with him going back with a small force to risk himself on her behalf. She never wanted to inconvenience—or risk—anyone else. But it would be foolish of him to sneak off where he might be captured without telling anyone. At the least, he needed to let the captain know and hoped he would slow down the boat so Jev and his little strike team could catch up afterward.
“I’ll tell her.” Jev nodded.
“Do you need to ask her permission before you go somewhere?” Borti smirked. “I thought zyndar men were the absolute rulers of their households.”
“Well, she’s not in my household yet, and if I get captured, she’ll probably be the one to rescue me. And you too. You should try to stay in her good graces.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“I also want to ask her if she senses any giant hydras in the river before we take a swim,” Jev said.
“Wise.”
He didn’t think a hydra could exist in such shallow water, but the last thing he wanted was for his attempt to sabotage a steamboat to turn into another battle with a giant sea monster with regenerating heads.
Zenia took a deep breath and knocked on the captain’s door. She’d already asked Hydal to put a hold on his dinner plans because she had something in mind, so she hoped this worked.
The door opened, and the captain’s weathered face produced a warm smile. A dwarven ditty played on his phonograph, the music punctuated with what sounded like mining picks striking rock, and he held a pale white wine in a crystal goblet. He already looked ready to turn in for the evening and enjoy the privacy of his cabin. Zenia took another deep breath.
“My Korian lady,” the captain said. “Have you decided to forsake your human mate and come enjoy the virility of a dwarf with more than five hundred years of experience in the many enjoyments of life?” He winked at her.
Zenia wondered how Rhi would rate one of the captain’s kisses. Five hundred years. Damn.
“I’ve actually come to ask a favor from you, Captain. You were kind enough to let me rest in your cabin earlier, which I appreciated greatly after that harrowing incident—”
“Harrowing, yes. In all my years sailing up and down this river, I’ve never seen a manticore attack with such single-minded purpose. There are animal attacks, yes, but usually during drought years or when food is otherwise scarce.”
“I can imagine. I have two friends that are trying to have a private discussion about their future together, but they’re finding it difficult to do so on this busy ship. Your cabin was such a lovely sanctuary—” Zenia resisted the urge to wrinkle her nose at the tobacco scent, “—that I thought they might be able to chat in private here. Is there any chance that you would allow it for a couple of hours this evening?”
“Hours? My dear, I’ve just poured myself a drink, and I do so look forward to this respite from the ruffians of my crew. They’re so noisy and always gambling and talking of crude topics.”
“Is there anything that could entice you to step out and enjoy some night air this evening? Er, anything platonic.”
The dwarf’s silvery eyebrows twitched.
“It stopped raining,” Zenia added. “The clouds were clearing the last time I looked.”
“Hm, and the moon is due to be full tonight.” The captain sipped from his glass and looked her over thoughtfully.
She didn’t know whether to be pleased that he perused more than her chest this time. Probably not.
“Do you dance?” he asked.
“Dance?”
“Yes,” he said dryly. “It’s a thing humans do to music.” He nodded toward his phonograph.
“Ah.”
That would involve touching, she was certain. But if it would get Rhi her private evening alone with Hydal… Zenia owed her friend that much. Rhi had jumped into danger in front of her numerous times, including just recently when that elven portal had opened up in Jev’s basement. Surely, she deserved a pleasant evening with a man after recovering from her injuries and coming all the way to this forsaken continent with Zenia. And Zenia approved of Hydal. Unlike most of the men Rhi dallied with, he was a gentleman.
“I know a few kinds of dances,” Zenia said. “I learned them mostly for formal occasions at the Water Order Temple back in Korvann.”
“You know religious dances?” The captain’s nose crinkled. “I shall have to teach you dances appropriate for riverboat decks under a full moon. Are you familiar with the Orgrotton Rush?”
Zenia shook her head.
“The steps are quick but simple, and the only rule is that as long as the music plays, the bodies of you and your partner must never part.”
“Ah. Won’t that be fun?”
“I should think so.” The captain sipped from his wine again, his eyes glinting. “You agree? The use of my cabin for your friends—speaking of platonic, I hope that’s all that they have in mind, because there are no laundry facilities for my bedding in Dingarotto Outpost. In exchange, you’ll spend the evening dancing with me? We can shoo the crew down below and have the deck to ourselves.”
“I will join you for the evening, but if I’m going to do something as vigorous as the dance you described, I may need to be fortified with some elven wine. Will you trade two bottles, one for us to enjoy and one for my friends to enjoy, in exchange for this night of dancing?”
“My wine?” His hand flew to his chest. “I pay handsomely to have that wine imported. All the heathens down here drink is rum.”
“One bottle, then. For my friends.”
“You are a hard bargainer, my lady.”
“Yes, I am.” Zenia had intended to offer to pay the captain for his wine, but if she had to endure a night of dancing with him, that ought to be included.
“Very well, but I will select the vintage.”
“Acceptable.” Zenia trusted he didn’t keep anything dreadful on the boat when he had limited space. “I’ll let them know.”
“I will select some music and bring the phonograph up to the deck.”
Before going to tell Rhi and Hydal that she’d secured a location for their dinner date, Zenia headed off to find Jev. She highly doubted he would grow envious or grumpy if she danced with the captain—he might even enjoy it, given the amusement she’d displayed when that ogress had flirted with him—but it might startle him if she didn’t prepare him ahead of time.
S
ince she’d last seen him ambling toward the back of the boat with trouble—Cutter and Borti—trailing behind him, she went there first. When she opened the solid wood door, a sign reading mechanical on the front, heat bathed her cheeks. She almost bumped into Jev, who looked like he’d been about to leave. Behind him, Cutter and Borti were pointing behind a furnace and muttering about something. Not a newly sighted rat, she hoped.
“Zenia,” Jev blurted in surprise.
Or was that guilt? He’d had a furtive look about him all night, and now it was as if she’d caught him raiding the honey-cookie jar before dinner. He glanced down at his hand. He was carrying a boxy tin sealed with some pitch-like substance and with a string sprouting out of it. Or was that a fuse?
“Jev,” Zenia said. “Why do I have a feeling that Cutter hasn’t been back here teaching you how to maintain a steam engine?”
Cutter snorted.
“Because I have a plan I need to tell you about,” Jev said. “Uh, were you looking for me for something?”
He looked hopeful, like he wanted to change the subject. Zenia suspected she wouldn’t approve of whatever he had planned for the night.
“I was. I’ve arranged for Hydal and Rhi to have an evening alone together in the captain’s cabin. In exchange, I’ve agreed to dance on the deck with him. I wanted to let you know so you wouldn’t be distressed by seeing me in the arms of another man.”
“That’s thoughtful of you.” Jev appeared anything but distressed. Faintly puzzled perhaps. “Though I’m saddened that you’re arranging a private evening alone for other couples instead of for us.”
“You mentioned a plan. I’m assuming you’ll be busy tonight.” Zenia gazed blandly down at the tin.
“True. I— Oh, this is perfect!”
Zenia arched her eyebrows.
“The dance. Is he taking his phonograph up on the deck? Can you play it at the maximum volume and light all the lanterns? See if you can make a real shindig out of it?”
“The captain has plans to shoo the crew into the cabin so we can have privacy.”
“You can smile and make him change his plans. I’m certain of it. I need a distraction, Zenia. I’m planning to swim back to that other boat, sneak aboard, and plant this.” Jev held up his tin. “It’s a bomb. Cutter made it.”
“It looks like something you would carry your lunch to work in.”
“Actually, it’s a tea tin that was full of tea,” Cutter said. “I’m a gifted dwarf. I can make explosives out of anything.”
“If our pursuers are distracted by a hubbub aboard this ship,” Jev said, “I’m hoping their watch people will be looking in this direction instead of at the bank where we’ll be. We’ll be able to slip off as quietly as one of those alligators, slither over to their ship, and climb aboard without them noticing.”
“Hopefully, we won’t slip into any alligators’ waiting mouths,” Borti said.
Zenia tugged at the ponytail she wore her hair in tonight as she eyed the “bomb.” Jev oozed enthusiasm for what sounded like a crazy if not suicidal mission. If they were simply dealing with a boatload of humans, maybe it could work, but she feared someone or something much more dangerous lurked on that vessel back there.
“What are you planning to blow up when you get there?” she asked.
“The boiler,” Jev said. “Cutter assures me that a catastrophic boiler failure can destroy the whole boat.”
“My dragon tear can’t see what’s inside their cabin,” Zenia said, “including the boiler room. I don’t even know if there is a boiler room. Maybe their boat is powered by magic.”
“Unlikely.” Cutter sniffed. “Even if magic heated the water instead of wood or coal, the machinery ought to be similar to what we have here.”
“Fine, but whoever is back there is powerful and able to block probes from my dragon tear. He’s too dangerous to confront.”
“That’s exactly why I want to get him off our backs,” Jev said. “We don’t want him attacking us on a daily basis or waiting until an inopportune moment to take advantage, such as when we’re dealing with the orcs.”
“I should go with you then,” Zenia said.
“Won’t he sense you coming?” Jev looked at her dragon tear.
Zenia frowned, frustration welling up inside her. She should have asked earlier what Jev was up to. Then she would have had time to come up with an argument to talk him out of it.
“You could get yourself killed, Jev.”
“You were almost killed this morning,” Jev said, his voice hardening with determination. “I’m not going to stand around while he takes more shots at you. Look, I don’t intend to face him, just disable his transportation. That’s why we’re sneaking aboard.”
“What happens when he runs back to the boiler room to stop you?”
“I’ll jump overboard and abort if it doesn’t look like I can place the explosive.”
“If someone had packed more grenades, you could have simply lobbed them onto his ship from the shore,” Cutter pointed out.
“You’re not helping,” Jev said over his shoulder.
“Funny, Borti here just said the same thing.”
Borti’s head was fully stuck behind the furnace now. By the founders, he was looking for a rat. Were the ones that survived on ships better for racing than town rats back home?
Zenia rubbed her face.
Jev stepped closer and rested a hand on her hip. “I’ll be careful, Zenia. I won’t be reckless. If I need to abort, I will. But I honestly believe this is a good time to retaliate. And if this shaman’s crew is distracted by your dance party, all the better.”
“Dance party.” Zenia shook her head. “The idea of dancing while you’re risking your life doesn’t sit well with me.”
“He might sense your—”
“I know, I know.” She waved away his argument since he’d already pointed it out. “You’re leaving your sword behind too, right?”
Jev leaned back. “What?”
“The elven sword is as magical as my dragon tear. A shaman would sense its approach.”
Jev bit his lip and glanced at Cutter.
Cutter nodded solemnly.
“Fine,” Jev said. “I’ll take a regular sword and my pistol.”
“For a swim?” Zenia envisioned the powder in his bullets being soaked.
“I’ll keep it over my head, the same as with the bomb.”
Zenia eyed it, imagining him grabbing some twine and tying his pistol to the tea tin. This did not look like a professional endeavor.
“I’ll handle it,” Jev said. “Trust me. And don’t forget to keep the dance music flowing.”
He hugged her and reached for the door.
“Jev? If I hear you scream, I’m going to convince the dragon tear to send a tidal wave downriver, the same as when we faced the hydra.”
“You could try that now, if you like.” He smirked. “That sounds like a good way to destroy a riverboat.”
Zenia doubted there was enough water in the river to summon a similar wave, but she decided to suggest it to her dragon tear in case it was a possibility. She would feel foolish if she let Jev run—or swim—into danger when she could do something to handle that other boat from here.
Jev waited as Zenia gripped her gem and envisioned a huge wave smashing into their enemies. The dragon tear promptly shared the images from earlier with her, of the shadowy cloaked figure and the riverboat with some kind of obscuring and maybe protective magic around it. Then it showed her a large wave flowing down the river and knocking their steamboat into the trees before it reached the other one.
“Never mind,” she murmured, realizing that should have been obvious to her.
Jev lifted his eyebrows.
“The dragon tear sagely pointed out that our boat would be struck first by a giant wave rushing downriver.” Zenia decided not to reemphasize that the other ship had some kind of magical protection. Jev already knew, and his mind was set anyway.
“
Then my plan is best.” Jev kissed her on the cheek.
“Best isn’t the adjective I would use,” Zenia muttered.
“Brilliant?” Jev suggested. “Dashing? Daring?”
“Just don’t get yourself killed,” she said, deciding nothing would be served by sharing the far darker words that came to her mind.
“Not only do I plan to live, but I’m going to ask the captain to stop the boat when he sees the brilliant explosion downriver that signifies our success. That’ll make it easier for us to catch up.”
Zenia was almost as skeptical about the captain slowing the boat to wait for Jev as she was about the rest. The randy old dwarf might see this as an opportunity to claim Zenia for himself. Not that she would allow that to happen.
She touched her dragon tear. “I’ll make sure the boat stops if you succeed. Or if you signal for help.”
“Thank you, my lady Captain.” Jev kissed her again, then swept out the door.
“I need to put this one with the others before we go,” Borti announced, holding up a squirming tan and white spotted rat.
It was fat, fluffy, and admittedly exotic compared to the plain black rats Zenia had seen back in Korvann, but she couldn’t find any words as Borti marched out proudly with it.
“I’ll make sure he knows what to do, Zenia,” Cutter said, pausing to give her a nod.
“Jev? Or Borti?”
“I wouldn’t know how to advise a man who collects rats. Those go in the stewpot back home.”
“Is eating rats any better than breeding them for races?” Zenia would pass on both activities.
“Certainly. We have a spice called brak-brak that grows alongside mushrooms in shallow caves. Spicy and earthy all at once. It makes for a delightful rat stew.”
Cutter patted her arm as he walked out of the boiler room. Zenia wondered when her life had grown so odd.
11
The phonograph music from the boat drifted downriver.
Jev settled down between two trees that hung out over the river, curtains of moss dangling from their branches. Cicadas and other noisy insects he couldn’t name chirped and nagged from the thick brush, and hoots came from the treetops. Borti and Horti crouched down beside Jev.
Dragon Tear (Agents of the Crown Book 5) Page 13