But the only thing that sticks is that he said our dad’s worked together. What happened to Chance’s dad? I hate questions.
Oh, but I finally know that he’s twenty-three. He’s four years older than me. I don’t know why I want to know more about him, why I’m taking a personal interest in him. I don’t know what makes him different from the others that I want to care about him.
~*~
When I sneak into the animal enclosure, I find Sam waiting by the chickens. We have a stare down, one that I lose. I glance away to the pigs’ enclosure. I still think they look naked.
Without saying anything he opens the gate and steps inside. I follow, closing the gate behind me. I watch as he picks out a little chick. The corner of my mouth lifts and I try to frown it away. I’m supposed to be upset with him.
“Peaces,” he whispers, as he comes to stand in front of me with the chick. Then he makes a cute face and it works.
I smile wide as I take the chick from him, cuddling it close to my chest. “I’m still angry with you,” I mumble.
“I never told you to love me, Kid. I do remember telling you that I will not be nice to you today.” Sam shakes his head at me. “You should thank me. If it were Roland or Chance you’d be bleeding. I’m the nice one out of the three. Why do you think Raze has teeth missing? She learned to jump by Roland throwing her across those scaffoldings.” Sam sighs and shoves a hand through his hair.
“Chance wouldn’t hurt me.” I feel I have to defend him, especially after today.
“He put Skater in bed for six days, the guy couldn’t move,” he says, and the words shock me. I can’t imagine Chance hurting someone. I shake my head but can’t find words to argue with. “Just because he’s nice to you now it doesn’t mean he won’t break you if he has to, just like I will, and just like Roland will. It all depends on who trains you.”
Break me? The words sound horrible. I can see he wants to say more. He’s keeping something from me. He reaches out and strokes the chick’s head.
“Rachel is gonna to kill me.”
My hands go slack upon hearing my mom’s name, and Sam quickly takes the chick from me. He knows my mom! I can’t wait for him to put the chick down. I grab at his shoulder. My heart feels like it’s going to break free from my chest.
“You know my mom? Have you seen her? Is she-”
He interrupts my flood of questions by placing his finger on my lips.
“Kid, whoa! She’s alive and fine. Just chill for a sec.”
He takes his hand away and I shriek, throwing myself at him. Tears of happiness wet my eyes.
“Stop jumping, you’re gonna break my neck.” He sets me down, smiling down at me. “She asked me to be on the lookout for you.”
I frown. Why would my dad tell me to find Chance but my mom sends Sam? Why aren’t they working together? I step back, trying to keep my smile in place.
“How about that coffee, Kid?”
“Okay,” I agree, wanting to know more about Mom, but not knowing who to trust. I need to be careful.
~*~
Chapter Eight
The next morning I’m woken early by the first crows of the chickens, ready and jogging slowly around the dome while waiting for Sam. He’s not the first to come. Roland stalks in with a subdued looking Aaron. I don’t know if I should greet them. When Aaron glances my way I wave. He looks away.
Roland takes him straight to the floor, stops at the stand and presses the buttons. The dome fills with noise as everything fall and moves into place.
“You can run, jump and climb.” Roland stops in the middle of the floor, his face grim. “I’d like to see if you can do it under pressure,” he hisses.
Aaron doesn’t look at him, but his hands are tight fists next to his side.
“You will run up and jump the scaffoldings, then onto the rope. Then over to the hand bars on the other side where you will make your way across them. If you fall you start over. Pretty easy for a strong guy like you.” Roland walks to the bags. “You better get going.”
Aaron lunges forward. I try to watch them both at the same time. Aaron’s out the entrance opposite to me and halfway up the wall when Roland reaches into the bag. I slow to a jog when he takes small balls out. He holds three in his left hand, the one in his right shines under the lights.
Aaron runs and as he launches himself into the air Roland throws the first ball hard. When the ball hits Aaron in his stomach, I stop running. I’m too stunned by what I’m seeing. His arms wrap around his waist and he slides right off the first scaffolding, hitting the floor hard. I cringe, taking a step back. My eyes dart between Roland and Aaron, fearing what this exercise will escalate to. Chance said there were times he wished he was dead. Did Roland do this to him too?
“Up and at it!” Roland’s voice thunders and I take another step back, away from the hostility in his voice.
Aaron gets up and as soon as he starts to run Roland throws the next. I move to the side as if I can make Aaron move with my actions, but it whacks him against his leg. When he doesn’t fall, I find myself cheering for him. He keeps going, but he needs to look out for the balls and not just focus on completing the circuit. My heart starts to race faster as Roland lifts his arm, and I want to shout a warning.
Aaron runs and jumps, and the next ball smacks hard into his collarbone. I clasp both my hands over my mouth to keep from calling out to him as he slides in between the two scaffoldings. He grunts and falls.
“You’re not learning. You need to be fast and able to not get shot at the same time. I’m only throwing a ball,” Roland sneers.
He throws another while Aaron is still getting up. It smacks him on his lower back. He flinches, and I finch with him.
“You were fast when the trackers attacked right outside the ward. You managed to not get yourself shot then,” he snaps. “You were quick to leave another man for dead.”
Roland throws two balls in quick succession. They both smack hard into Aaron’s back and he stumbles.
My heart is pounding in my ears. I might not know him that well, but this isn’t humane. I wish I could help him.
“A few millennia ago there was a powerful empire. They called themselves Romans. They were a supreme force because they fought as one.” Roland takes a few balls and starts toward Aaron. As Aaron gets ready to jump, my breathing speeds up.
“Did you know the Romans considered a left handed man to be disabled? He was useless as a Roman soldier. He couldn’t hold a shield and those men-” He throws a ball as Aaron lands on the second scaffolding. It smacks into his leg. “Well, you weren’t considered a man if you didn’t make the army. We need the best in our army, Aaron,” Roland shouts at him. “Are you the best?”
Aaron manages to hold his balance and he launches himself at the third scaffolding. A ball smacks against his face and he drops.
When Aaron screams for the first time I run towards him. The scaffoldings slam together pinning him for a second. He falls and I reach him as he hits the floor.
“If a soldier dishonored his group he was stoned to death.” Roland snaps.
I take hold of Aaron’s arm and he groans. He isn’t all here with me. I can see his eyes are glazing over, his skin is an awful white.
“Let me help you up,” I whisper. I’m scared to death of Roland but I can’t leave Aaron like this, not when it’s my fault Ethan is dead. I pull his arm around my shoulders, but he’s too heavy for me.
“If you leave a man to die, you dishonor this ward,” Roland says. His voice is cold and it sends shivers down my spine.
“Can’t you see he’s hurt?” My voice is unsteady and I hate that it shows how scared I am of him.
Roland tosses a ball to his right hand and I freeze. “Ethan was hurt too, he was nearest to him. Did he stop to help him?”
I clear my throat. “If it’s anyone’s fault that Ethan is dead, it’s mine.”
My eyes stay glued to his right hand, his fingers rolling the ball.
; “Could you have carried Ethan?”
I don’t understand. It’s a stupid question.
“I…” The answer is no. I’m not that strong. “I could’ve tried.”
“If you can get Aaron to the top entrance I’ll pretend this once you didn’t interfere with my training session.”
I grip Aaron’s arm tighter and place my arm around him. I pull harder.
“You have to help me get you up there. I can’t do this alone.”
Aaron groans and tries to pull himself up, but he’s only taking me down. I stumble to my one knee. My eyes fall on the bags behind Roland. Bags full of balls that can hurt me. I drop Aaron’s arm and move in behind him, hooking my hands under his armpits, and I pull hard. It works and I start to drag him across the floor. Aaron groans every time I jerk at him, but I don’t care, because we are moving.
When the ball smacks into my thigh, I’m shaken to my very core. The realization of what Roland just did slams my breath away, and I almost let go of Aaron.
“You’ve just been shot. What do you do?” he asks, dead serious. “Do you leave your man behind and run for your life or do you carry on?”
My leg is stinging from where the tiny ball hit me. The thought that he will keep throwing balls at me is terrifying, to say the least. But, I know if I leave Aaron behind I’ll not only let myself down, but him as well.
I tighten my grasp on Aaron and I yank at him, pulling harder, all the while I keep my eyes on Roland’s hand. I make it to the stand when he lifts his hand. I tense up, and when the ball flies I move, it flies past my hip and smacks into the ground. I grab Aaron and ignore his groans. I pull and watch. My eyes burn from not blinking, my breaths race through my lungs.
The next ball comes and I duck to the side. It slams into the wall and rolls down the slope. When I grab Aaron and pull, the muscles in my arms protest, painfully. His head wobbles to the side and he doesn’t groan this time.
“Aaron?”
I want to stop and check on him, but the next ball flies and I let go, scrambling out of the way. It thwacks hard into the wall and rolls down the slope. I hurry back and grab hold of his arms, pulling again. The balls come faster and my arms grow tired and sore, but I keep yanking and pulling until I finally reach the top.
I scramble over Aaron and lift his shirt. There’s already a line forming on his chest from where the scaffoldings pinched him, but it doesn’t look that bad. The bump on his head from where the ball smacked him is red and swelling. I don’t know if he passed out from that.
“You made it,” Roland says behind me. “You only got shot in the leg.” He doesn’t sound impressed.
I glare up at him. I don’t understand what he wanted me to learn from this.
“There’s Dissolute in you after all. When it counted most, you didn’t care if he was in pain. You cared about getting yourself to the top, but hey, at least you took the man with you.”
He stares at me for a second, before walking to the door. He drops the last two balls on the floor.
“When you eventually figure out a way to get him to a bed pick up the balls,” he says.
My lips tremble and my eyes are burning, but I won’t cry. Dissolutes don’t cry.
~*~
Raze and Skater helped me get Aaron to a bed. It doesn’t take me long to pick up all the balls and I only see Sam at breakfast. He sits with Roland. I go to sit with Skater and the others.
“I have dung duty today. Anybody wanna swap with me?” Eggs slush in Skater’s mouth as he asks the question. It’s disgusting.
“It was mine yesterday.” Vine pulls a face.
“What is dung duty?”
Skater takes another bite of his eggs. “You have to clean up the animals crap and take it up to the cornfields. We work it into the ground for fertilizer. You interested?”
“Oh.” I don’t think so.
“Newbie alert!” A shout echoes down the tunnel and everybody jumps out of their seats.
“Move it, Jai,” Skater hisses. I run after after him into the kitchen, swallowing the last of my bacon and grabbing my bread.
There is no sign of Sam or Roland in the kitchen. It’s only Raze, Nate, Skater and me. They duck behind the wall and finish what’s left of their breakfast. I do the same. Minutes tick by before I hear Vine’s voice sound up in the tunnel. She’s giving the tour. I glance at the three finishing their breakfasts next to me and now realize where everyone was. This is all just a set to overwhelm the new person.
“How long do we stay here?” I whisper.
“Until Vine finishes the tour.”
I hear their footsteps draw closer.
“The commons. You eat here.” Vine’s tone is dry. “The bathroom, self-explanatory.”
“How many people live here?” I recognize the voice and lean forward to peek around the wall but Skater pulls me back. It’s Jasper!
“We are eleven at the moment. Each ward can sustain up to thirty people at a time,” Vine says. “The sleeping quarters, self-explanatory, and this is the…” She pauses like she did with me. “Drill Zone.”
I squash the bread a little when I grip it too hard, thinking about this morning.
“Why do you call it that?”
I drop the bread and I’m up before Skater can pull me back.
“Ruth!” I call to her before I reach the archway. When I see her my throat closes.
“Jai.” She whispers and runs to me. Her grip is tight around my neck and her tears soak into my hair.
“You made it.” I can’t believe she made it.
“It was … awful, Jai,” she sputters through her tears, and I bite mine back. “There were these people … waiting on the other side. They just shot at us. We didn’t do anything wrong!” I pat her back.
“Shhh, you’re going to be okay now.” My words sound empty in my own ears, because I don’t know if she’s going to be okay. I don’t know if she’s going to make it. I don’t even know if I’m going to make it.
Jasper and Ruth shower and eat. Jasper says Mr. Demetrius and one of the others helped them but they were gunned down the night before. When the trackers found them hiding in the wild grass Mr Demetrius told them to run. He didn’t run with them.
I watch Jasper take another piece of bread. They must be starving.
“Kid.” Sam is standing in the archway of the commons, his face set in a scowl. “Drill Zone,” he barks at me, and stalks away.
“I have to go. Do as you are told and you’ll be fine.” I offer Ruth a comforting smile and run after Sam.
Sam is standing in the middle of the dome when I get there. His back is turned to me. I go cold. When I walk through the entrance he points to the scaffoldings.
“Up and at ‘em.”
I watch Sam out of the corner of my eye as I run up. He doesn’t move toward the bags of balls. I launch myself at the first scaffolding. My left side aches as I stretch. I land on my feet. The scaffolding starts to swing.
There’s a loud bang and something pings off the next scaffolding just as I’m about to move again. I stop, scrambling back. My ears ring as I peek down at Sam from the swinging scaffolding. A shockwave hits me when I see the gun in his hand.
“Sam.” I mean to scream. I mean to yell at him. I didn’t mean to sound hurt and disappointed. “You shot at me?”
“You’ve been shot at before. Chance says you react well under pressure so I thought I’d test it.”
“By shooting at me?” I get up and Sam lifts his hand, pointing the gun at me. I drop and scramble out of his reach.
“Should I throw chickens at you, Kid? Will that make you run faster?”
My heart rockets to my throat, thumping hard. Will Sam really shoot me? I’d like to think not. I focus on the next scaffolding and launch myself at it. There’s a loud bang, and my ears ring again. I cringe and my shoulder slams into the edge of the next scaffolding. I fall hard.
My shoulder aches, my side aches, but I scramble to my feet and run. At the last minu
te I swerve and throw my body at Sam, because I know, there is no way I can outrun a bullet.
When I slam into him, he staggers back a step. I reach for his right hand, the one holding the gun, but he flings it away and the gun skids across the floor. Relief washes over me for a split second, but then he grabs hold of my shoulders, and the pain burns through my left one. He kicks hard into my calves and I hit the cold concrete floor with a wheeze. Sam’s on top of me before I can roll out of the way. A smile pulls at his mouth and it hurts even more that he’s enjoying this.
He grabs hold of my wrists, shoving me back against the floor. When his knee presses into my stomach panic takes a hold of my chest. I gasp for air, unable to move.
“Get up. Come on, Kid. I’m not that heavy,” he taunts me.
I try to roll to my right but his knee presses deeper into my stomach. I take shallow breaths and roll my hips to my left. He goes with me and his knee slides off my stomach. My side aches from the sudden movement. I try and pull my arms in, but his fingers tighten as he straddles me. Fear ripples over me. Sam is twice my size.
“Get off me, Sam,” I scream, and twist my arms, trying to free them from his tight grip. I manage to roll my hips again. He is heavy and I only lift him an inch. His hands are getting sweaty from holding my wrists and I pull and twist until I free my right arm. He grabs for my right arm but I duck into him, bringing my arm in. He grabs at my shoulder and an aching spreads into my neck.
“It hurts!” I scream. He doesn’t care, he’s already pressing me down again.
I bring both my knees up into his back and he lets go of my shoulder.
“Ah, good one,” he laughs.
My chest feels like it is going to explode and Sam is laughing. I bring my right hand up and hit as hard as I can manage.
Pain streaks through my shoulders and my hand burns. I fist it against my chest when Sam pulls away. His neck is red from where I slapped him. He didn’t expect me to hit him. I didn’t expect me to hit him. I crawl backwards and get up.
Insensate (Book 1 in The Dissolute Trilogy) Page 10