by John Hart
I walked into the diffuse light of another dawn. I had no car, but there was a breakfast joint not too far away. It opened at six, and a couple of cars pulled around back after I’d been waiting a few minutes for the place to open. A metal door slammed against the cinderblock wall, someone kicked a bottle that clattered over concrete. Lights came on and sausage fingers flipped the sign from CLOSED to OPEN.
I took a booth by the window and waited for the smell of coffee. The waitress came over after a minute, and the ready smile slid off of her face.
She remembered me.
She took my order, and I kept my eyes on the plaid sleeve of her polyester shirt. It was easier for both of us that way. The old man with the fat fingers recognized me, too. They spoke in whispers by the cash register, and it was clear to me that accused was the same as convicted, even after five years.
The place filled up as I ate: blue-collar, white-collar, a little bit of everything. Most of them knew who I was. None of them spoke to me, and I wondered how much of that came from mixed feelings over my father’s stubbornness and how much came from the belief that I was some kind of monster. I turned on my cell phone, and saw that I had missed three calls from Robin.
The waitress shuffled over and stopped as far away as she could without being obvious. “Anything else?” she asked. I told her no. “Your check,” she said, and put it on the table’s edge. She used her middle finger to push it toward me.
“Thanks,” I said, pretending that I’d not just been flipped off.
“Anytime.”
I sat longer, sipping the last of the coffee, and watched a police cruiser pull up to the curb. George Tallman climbed out of it. He dropped some change into a newspaper machine, then looked up and saw me through the glass. I gave him a wave. He nodded back, then made a call from his cell phone. When he came into the restaurant, he slipped into my booth and put his paper on the table. He held out his hand and I shook it.
“Who’d you call?” I asked.
“Your dad. He asked me to keep an eye out.” He raised an arm to get the waitress’s attention. He ordered a massive breakfast and gestured at my empty coffee cup. “More?” he asked.
“Sure.”
“And more coffee,” he told the waitress, who rolled her eyes.
I studied him there in his uniform, a navy jumpsuit with lots of gold trim and jangling metal; then I looked out the window, saw the big dog sitting upright in the backseat of his car.
“Are you on the canine unit, too?” I asked.
He grinned. “The kids love the dog. Sometimes I take him with me.”
The breakfast came.
“So, you and my dad get along pretty well?” I asked.
George cut his pancakes into neat squares, and laid his knife and fork carefully on the dry edge of the plate. “You know my story, Adam. I come from nothing. Deadbeat dad. On-and-off mom. I’ll never have money or position, but Mr. Chase has never looked down on me or acted like I wasn’t good enough for his daughter. I’d do anything for your father. Guess you should know that up front.”
“And Miriam?” I asked.
“People think I’m into Miriam for the money.”
“There’s always the money,” I said.
“We can’t pick who we love.”
“So, you do love her then?”
“I’ve loved her since high school, maybe longer. I would do anything for Miriam.” His eyes filled with sudden conviction. “And she needs me. Nobody has ever needed me before.”
“I’m glad that it’s all good.”
“It’s not all good, don’t misunderstand me. Miriam is . . . well, she’s a fragile woman, but like good china, you know. Fragile, beautiful.” He lifted his heavy hands from the table, held his fingers as if he was holding teacups by tiny handles. “I have to be gentle.” He lowered the pretend cups to the table and lifted his hands, fingers spread. He smiled. “But I enjoy that.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Your stepmother was slow to approve.” His voice dropped, so that I almost missed his next words. “She thinks I’m a worker bee.”
“What?”
“She told Miriam that you date the worker bees, you don’t marry them.” I sipped my coffee and George picked up his fork. He looked as if he was waiting for something. “So do I have your approval?” he asked.
I put down the coffee. “Are you serious?” He nodded and I felt sorry for him. “I’m not entitled to an opinion, George. I’ve been gone a long time. I left under suspicion. You’re a cop for God’s sake.”
“Miriam is glad to have you back.”
I was already shaking my head. “You have no idea how Miriam feels about me.”
“Then let’s just say that she’s conflicted.”
“It’s not the same thing,” I said, and George looked uncomfortable.
“I’ve always looked up to you, Adam. Your approval would mean a lot to me.”
“Then God bless you both.”
He held out his hand again and I shook it; his face was beaming. “Thank you, Adam.” He went back to his breakfast, and I watched the food disappear.
“Any word on Zebulon Faith?” I asked.
“He’s gone to ground, looks like. But he’ll turn up. People are looking for him.”
“And what about Danny?” I asked. “What do you think about that?”
“A hell of a place to end up, but I’m not surprised.”
“Why not?”
George wiped syrup off his chin and leaned back. “You and Danny were tight, okay, so don’t get pissed or anything.”
“You were friends, too.”
He shook his head. “Early on, maybe. But Danny got cocky after you left. Suddenly, all the women wanted him. Nobody was as cool as he was. He was easy to dislike. Things changed even more when I became a cop.” He looked out the window, pursed his lips. “Danny said I was a joke. He told Miriam that she shouldn’t date a joke.”
“Guess he remembered a different George Tallman.”
“Fuck him, then. That’s what I say.”
“He’s dead, George. Why don’t you tell me why that fact doesn’t surprise you?”
“Danny liked the ladies. The ladies liked him. Single ones and married ones. Probably some pissed off husbands that would like to take a chunk out of Danny. And Danny was a gambler. Not Wednesday night poker, either. I mean the real deal. Bookies. Borrowed money. He’s run the gamut. But you should probably talk to your brother about that.”
“Jamie?”
George’s mouth tightened in distaste. “Yeah. Jamie.”
“Why? Jamie is over his gambling problem. He licked it years ago.”
George hesitated. “Maybe you’d better ask him.”
“You won’t tell me?”
“Look, I don’t know what happened with Jamie before you left. I had nothing to do with that. All I know is what I see now. Jamie wants to be the same kind of player Danny was. Problem is, he’s half as charming and twice as bad at cards. So, yeah, he gambles. Heavily, from what I’ve heard. But I don’t need to add to our problems. Talk to him about it if you want, but don’t mention my name.”
A rusted-out pickup pulled into the lot and disgorged three men in dirt-rimed boots and greasy farm caps. They sat at the counter and fingered dog-eared menus. One of them stared at me and made a face like he was about to spit on the floor.
“I take it that you and Robin don’t exactly get along,” I said.
George shook his head and blinked. “I know you guys have a history, but I don’t like mincing words, so I’m just going to say it. She’s way too intense. Supercop, you know.”
“And she doesn’t like you?”
“I’m easy, Adam. I like the uniform. I like working with kids and riding around with the dog. I’m a happy guy. Alexander is all about the bust.”
I pretended that I wasn’t bothered. “She’s changed,” I said.
“No shit.”
Everyone at the counter was staring at m
e now, the whole group of them, like they wanted to kick my ass. I understood; the boy had been well liked. I gestured and George followed the motion. “You seeing this?” I asked.
He studied the group, and I was impressed by the force of his personality, the cop in him. He stared them down until they looked away. His face softened when he looked back. “People are idiots,” he said.
I heard a horn outside, and saw one of the farm trucks pull to a stop in the lot. It was Jamie. He honked again.
“Your ride,” George said.
“Guess he’s not coming in.” I stood and dropped some bills on the table. “Good seeing you, George.”
George gestured at Jamie. “Remember what I said. I don’t need any more problems with your brother. We’re going to be family soon.”
“No worries.”
“Thanks.”
I started to turn, stopped. “One question, George.”
“Yeah?”
“These bookies you’re talking about. They heavy hitters? I mean, heavy enough to kill somebody over an unpaid debt?”
He wiped his mouth. “I imagine that would depend on the size of the debt.”
I left, and didn’t look back. Outside, the day had spread into another towering sky, a vault of blue so vast and still that it seemed unreal. In the truck, Jamie looked pale and swollen, with circles that spread beneath his eyes. A beer bottle was wedged between his massive legs. He saw me looking.
“I’m not drinking early, if you’re wondering. I’m still up from last night.”
“Want me to drive?”
“Sure. What the hell.”
We switched places. I moved the seat up an inch and another empty bottle rolled under my feet. I tossed it into the back. Jamie rubbed a hand over his face and looked at himself in the visor mirror. “Jesus. I look like crap.”
“You okay?”
He eyed George through the window. “Let’s get out of here,” he said. I put the truck in drive and pulled into thin traffic. I felt him looking at me.
“Go ahead,” I said.
“What?”
“You can ask me.”
His voice rose. “What the hell, Adam? What did the cops want with you?”
“I guess that’s been the topic of conversation around the house.”
“No shit, bro. It’s not like anybody’s forgotten the last time the cops took you away. Dad’s been telling everyone to calm down, but it hasn’t been easy. I’ll tell you that for nothing. Everybody’s unsettled.”
I’d known it was coming, so I explained without losing my temper. Jamie looked doubtful.
“What did you and Grace talk about that was so damned secret?”
“That’s none of your business, either,” I said. I glanced sideways. He was cross-armed and angry. “Is this why you’ve been up all night drinking?” I asked. “You wondering about your brother again? Having doubts?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
“Danny, mostly,” Jamie said. “He was good people, you know. I thought he was still down in Florida, beaching it for a while. And all the time he was in that hole.” He drained the beer.
“Don’t lie to me, Jamie.”
“I’m not lying,” he said, but that was false, too. I let it go.
“Danny got into a fight with his girlfriend and hit her,” I said. “That’s why he was in Florida. Do you know anything about that? Who the girl was?”
“No idea. He had a bunch of them.”
“What about his gambling?” I asked, studying him now. “Do you think that could have had something to do with it? Maybe he owed the wrong people.”
Jamie looked uncomfortable. “You know about that, huh?”
“How bad was it?”
“Pretty bad at times, but not always. You know how it can be. Up one day, down the next.” He laughed, but it sounded nervous. “Things turn fast. But he could handle it. Tried not to spread himself too thin.”
“Any idea who took his bets?”
“Why would I know anything about that?” Defensive.
I wanted to push, but eased off. We drove in silence. I turned out of town, crossed over a creek, and opened up on the empty roads. The truck shook beneath us, and I could tell that my questions had upset him. He sank lower, his jaw twisted, and when he spoke, he did not look at me.
“I didn’t mean it, you know.”
“Mean what?”
“When I said I’d fuck her. I didn’t mean it.”
He was talking about Grace.
“What about your telescope on the third floor?” I asked.
He shook his head. “She said that? Damn! Miriam caught me once looking at Grace with binoculars. Just once, okay. And shit. That’s not a crime. She’s hot. I was just looking.” He twitched, like something just occurred to him. “Do the cops know about that?”
“I don’t know, but I’m sure they’ll talk to Grace. As far as I can tell, she has no reason to do you any favors.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah. You’ve said that once or twice.”
“Pull the truck over,” Jamie said.
“What?”
“Pull the fucking truck over.”
I slowed down, pulled onto the dirt shoulder, put the truck in park. I killed the engine.
Jamie rose in his seat, turned to face me. “Do we need to go?” he asked.
“What?”
“Do we need to step out of this car and go a few rounds? Because I’m thinking that maybe we do.”
I leveled a gaze at him. “You’re drunk,” I said.
“I’ve had your back for five years. People bad-mouth you, say you’re a goddamn killer, and I tell them to shut the hell up. I’ve been on your side. That’s a brother thing. Now, I don’t need this calm thing you’re doing. I don’t buy it. You’ve been dancing around me since you got in this truck. Just say it. Whatever it is. You think I had something to do with Grace? Huh? Or with Danny? You want to come back here like nothing ever happened, like nothing’s changed? You want to run the farm again? Is that it? Just say it.”
He was defensive, and I knew why. The gambling was nothing new—it had happened before—and my questions about Danny had upset him. Sometimes I hated being right.
“How much did you lose?” It was a guess, but a good one. He froze, and I knew. “Dad had to cover you again, didn’t he? How much this time?”
He slumped again, suddenly frightened and young. He’d gotten into a hole once his last year of high school. He’d hooked up with a bookmaker in Charlotte and gone heavy on a round of NFL playoff games. The engine ticked as it cooled. “A little over thirty thousand,” he said.
“A little over?”
“Okay. Fifty thousand.”
“Jesus, Jamie.”
He sunk lower, all animosity gone.
“Football again?”
“I thought the Panthers were going to break out. I kept doubling down. It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”
“And Dad covered it.”
“It was three years ago, Adam.” He help up a hand. “I haven’t gambled since.”
“But Danny has?”
Jamie nodded.
“You still want to go a few rounds?” I asked.
“No.”
“Then don’t fuck with me, Jamie. You’re not the only one that had a bad night.”
I started the truck, pulled back onto the road. “I want the name of his bookie,” I said.
Jamie’s voice was small. “There’s more than one.”
“I want them all.”
“I’ll find them. They’re written down somewhere.”
We drove in silence for a mile, until a convenience store appeared ahead of us. “Can you pull in here?” Jamie asked. I stopped at the store. “Give me a minute.”
Jamie went inside. He came back out with a six-pack.
CHAPTER 16
I drove to the farm, took the turn for Dolf’s house. There were cars there; Janice was on Dolf’s porch. I s
topped in the drive. “What’s going on?” I asked. Jamie just shrugged. “You getting out?”
“I’m not that drunk,” Jamie said.
I climbed out and Jamie slid across the seat. I put my hands on the window frame. “I misjudged Danny. Now he’s dead. The cops should look into these bookies. Maybe there’s something there.”
“The cops?”
“I want those names.”
“I’ll find them,” he replied, then waved once to his mother and turned the truck around.
I took the long walk.
My stepmother watched me approach. Young when she’d married my father, she was still shy of her fifties. She sat alone on the porch, and looked haggard. She’d lost weight. Once lustrous hair had faded to brittle yellow; her cheekbones looked hawkish and sharp. She rose from the rocking chair as my feet landed hard on the lowest step. I stopped halfway up, but she stood between the door and me, so I went to her.
“Adam.” She found the courage to step in my direction. There had been a time when she would have swept forward and laid her light, dry lips on my cheek, but not now. Now she was as distant and cold as a foreign shore. “You’re home,” she said.
“Janice.” I’d imagined this moment a thousand times. The two of us, speaking for the first time since my acquittal. Sometimes, when I saw it, she apologized. Other times, she struck me or cried out in fright. Reality was different. It was uncomfortable and nerve-racking. She held herself under tight control and looked as if she might simply turn and walk away. I could not think of a single thing to say. “Where’s Dad?”
“He told me to wait out here. He thought that it might help us get reacquainted.”
“I didn’t think you’d want much to do with me.”
“I love your father,” she said woodenly.
“But not me?” For better or worse, we’d been family for almost twenty years. I could not hide the hurt, and for an instant her face reflected some unknown pain of her own. It did not last.
“You were acquitted,” she said, “which must make me a liar.” She sniffed and sat down. “Your father has made it plain that there is to be no more talk of misdeeds by members of this family. I choose to honor his wishes.”
“Why don’t I think you mean that?”