The only break I would take was to cook and bake, my other passion. I whipped up brownies for Alex or banana bread for me after taking tough quizzes. Dinners were either a quick stir fry or my famous baked pasta.
“You’ve turned me into a fat gay blob,” Alex joked.
“Yep, it’s my secret weapon: if you can’t get off the couch, then you can’t get to class and beat me on our exams,” I replied, laughing.
“I’m never going to land a man if I’m chunky,” Alex said, “When I go to the gym, no guy is going to fuck me in the shower anymore.”
“There are chubby chasers, Alex. Don’t lose hope!”
“How come you don’t gain weight, Laura?”
“I think being anxious changes your metabolism. I’m nervous, therefore I burn calories,” I said.
“Please tell me that you are not holding out for that high school preppy jock— ”
“Don’t even say his name. I’m not holding a torch for him. I don’t want to see him again.”
“Ok, girl. you got it. No need to bite my head off!”
Chapter Thirteen
The years went by like that. Alex and I pushed ourselves, we studied like machines, and it paid off. We were top of our classes, sometimes he was first and sometimes I was. It was a virtual dead heat for class president, but then he ended up winning during the recount. I was okay with that. He could focus on the club, while I picked up some more hours waitressing.
Alex and I stayed in and focused on our studies. We were big dorks, but we had our reasons. We were both damaged. Alex told me that even though he knew he was gay, and his family knew it as well, he just didn’t feel ready to get out there and date.
“Laura, there aren’t that many gay guys here in Normal. I’m waiting for someone special and there aren’t any here.”
I didn’t want to push him because he had finally laid off asking me to get out there and date. I wasn’t waiting for my prince charming or anything, but I wanted to fully heal from Jonathan before jumping into something new.
Alex and I still went out and partied with friends -- and we would throw keggers at our place, too. Alex had a magnetism about himself that made people flock to him. Being black and gay, he stuck out. And because he was funny, smart and kind, he was memorable. Everyone wanted him as their friend.
I was also going back home to visit my mom every so often. My mom was entirely independent, but because she didn’t have a partner and I was her only kid, she really needed to see me every few weeks to feel that family connection. She loved hearing Alex stories, both ones from his past and ones from our partying on campus. She wanted me to have fun, but she didn’t push me to find someone.
“You’ve got the rest of your life to find that perfect person. It doesn’t have to happen in college, sweetie,” she advised me, “I want to meet Alex.”
It just never seemed to work out to have Alex come home with me. He had his own family to consider. They needed his support, too. His mother lived with Alex’s younger sister and they didn’t have a lot of money. He didn’t work while he was at school, but they needed his support in other ways.
When we were on campus, we would go to various schools and do observations. Then we started preparing for our student teaching externships. We were both excited to finally get into the classroom, teach actual children, and work with teacher mentors. We received student teaching placements by our families, which eased the financial burden of that semester as well as made our families happy. I missed Alex quite a bit that semester, but I was incredibly busy as a student teacher.
We started out the semester introducing ourselves to the students and playing the role of classroom assistant. But every week we took on more of the teacher’s work so that by the end of the semester we were teaching the class independently. Our teacher mentor would watch us and act as a classroom aide.
I realized how much work it was to be in charge of a classroom of 22 first graders. I also was reminded that I loved interacting with kids. They were quirky and fun at that age. I also got exposure to bilingual students and children getting special education.
Alex and I wrapped up our student teaching experiences and came back to campus within days of each other. Seeing him again, I ran up to him and we hugged each other while he swung me around. He was my best friend and I needed him in my life so much.
We knew we only had a short while together before our college years would wrap up and we’d be off on new adventures. But we had to get out there and interview. Who knew where we’d end up our first year of teaching?
Chapter Fourteen
No matter how many years of wanting to be a teacher and four years of preparation and student teaching behind you, the interview process is something no college student really wants to face. Sure, I wanted a job, but it just sucked to go in front of potential employers and explain why I wanted to work at their school.
Luckily Illinois State set up a teacher job fair for its graduating seniors. The school of education rented out the largest space at the student union where each school with open positions could set up a table, conduct mini-intro interviews, take resumes, and hand out literature.
Alex and I were prepared for that day. We both wore suits and had 30 copies of our resumes. If I ran out, I could head over to the nearby computer lab and print out more.
My heels clicked on the walk towards the union and Alex laughed.
“Work it, girl,” Alex said, “Damn, wish I had some bitchin’ heels.”
“I feel powerful in them, that’s for sure,” I replied, “But you don’t look so shabby yourself.”
The black suit slimmed Alex and he had his wonderfully curly hair tamed for the event. We both looked surprisingly employable.
We continued walking in silence. Today’s event had the potential of changing our lives. Our future employer could be in that room. We both had a lot riding on the day. We opened the double doors to the room and found it packed. We looked at each other, fist-bumped, and walked in different directions.
The most popular districts had long lines behind their tables. They were in the wealthy areas with real money and resources for their schools. The worst school districts, or better said the school districts with the high numbers of students living in poverty had just a few people hanging out at their tables. Then there were the school in the middle. They had a mixture of “good” and “bad” schools, but had resources for all of the students. Even though I wanted to give every district my resume, I narrowed my focus to those schools because I think they had what I needed to be successful as a new teacher.
Chapter Fifteen
After I left Alex, I started working the room. I waited in some short lines, but I walked straight up to tables where there were no people waiting. It felt strategic.
Alex and I didn’t have a moment to break for lunch. We expected to at least have a moment to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. There were too many schools to visit and lines to wait in. We both didn’t want to risk missing out on a potential interview. Every moment we had a chance to get face time and we knew we had to maximize it.
Towards the end of the day, I excused myself to use the restroom. Thankfully there was a lounge inside the bathroom and I quickly wolfed down my PB and J. I looked at my nail polish and I noticed it was chipping. I was getting a little shaky and I was ready to have this whole day over with.
I walked in and started waiting in one of the lines for a table right at the front. I had passed it many times as I went back and forth, but there was never a moment that was right to stop and get in line.
I stood in line and looked at my phone. I’d gotten no calls while I’d been at the event, but I did get a couple emails.
“Miss…”
I looked up and found that I was first in line. My gaze reached up and I fell into the dark blue eyes of a man.
“Oh hi, I’m Laura,” I said reaching my hand out to this tall blonde stranger, who stood up to shake it.
“Hi Laura, I’
m Nick Bloomgren, principal of Whispering Pines Elementary School and this is Joan Baxter another principal from South Brooke School District in South Brooke, Illinois,” he looked back into my eyes, “We’re happy to meet you.”
Nick’s eyes drew me in, but when I saw his face, I was captivated. When he smiled, his whole face invited me. He leaned in when I looked at him and I could tell he cared about what I was about to say. Instantly, I felt more nervous than I had felt the whole day and I was grateful that I had had a bite to eat or I would have felt a little woozy. I sat down in a metal chair in the modified ballroom and handed over my resume.
“I just wanted to share a little bit about me. I’m graduating in May with an endorsement in K through 6th as well as my special education and ESL endorsements.”
“Sounds great,” Nick looked at me and then grabbed a pen and started scanning my resume. “Can you tell us about your student teaching experience?” His biceps bulged in his blue oxford shirt.
I started talking and, luckily, everything just flowed. I noticed that when Nick smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkled up. I felt warmth from him that just radiated towards me. He kept looking at me and staring into my eyes. My heart lurched every single time.
Nick asked me questions and I had answers. I couldn’t stop smiling. Teaching was a passion for me and I had a lot to say about my student teaching experience. It didn’t hurt that he was a beautiful man who leaned in to hear what I had to say.
When we stopped talking, there was this pause. Then Joan said with a laugh, “You guys never let me have a turn to ask a question!”
Nick looked down to my resume. Then he looked up and our eyes locked. For a second, it felt like he could read my mind. He knows I think he’s hot.
Joan continued, “That’s fine, Laura. What I heard today is that you are very prepared for your first year teaching. Laura, you really would make an excellent addition to the South Brooke School District. I’d like to pass your resume to our HR Director.”
I felt butterflies in my stomach all over again. I could be looking at my new boss.
“Thank you so much,” I replied.
“Well, Laura, to be completely honest, I’m also blown away by what I’ve heard today,” Nick continued, “Joan, I know this is unconventional, but I’d like to offer Laura the opportunity to come and visit Whispering Pines in person and decide whether she thinks it’s a school where she could see herself.”
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
“Anytime you want me to visit would be wonderful,” I said, trying to hold in my excitement.
“How about next week?” Nick asked with a big smile.
“Anytime over the next couple weeks would be great,” I said, standing up noticing that people all around us were breaking down many of the tables. My knees felt wobbly. I shook Joan’s hand and then I turned to Nick.
“My contact information is on my resume,” I said as I shook Nick’s hand. He held onto it a second longer than Joan and then he quickly found his business card.
“Here’s my card, too,” he said, “But I will call you.”
I nodded, taking the card. I need to find Alex pronto.
Chapter Sixteen
A few weeks later I was able to take a trip to Whispering Pines Elementary. Forget butterflies, elephants leapt around in my stomach as my heels clicked their way up to the front door. I didn’t even know what force propelled me through the doors and into the office. The truth was simple: I wanted to see Nick again. Had the feelings I felt during the interview process been real? Was it simply a schmooze session where he pretended to be interested in me? I couldn’t deny the attraction I felt for him. It’s probably dangerous for me to be around him.
I went up the secretary’s desk and introduced myself. The secretary immediately brightened to my presence, “Oh hi Laura, I’m Mrs. Pinckney. Mr. Bloomgren has told us so much about you. We’re so happy you were able to find time in your schedule to visit today. I’ll tell him you’re here.”
I said thank you and I wondered what he could have said about me.
And then, just like that Nick was just standing in front of me. I was reminded that Nick was tall and there was that smile. He came walking up to me with his hand held out.
“Laura, I mean Ms. Roland, it’s such a pleasure to have you at our school,” he said while he leaned in.
I shook his hand lightly and looked into his blue eyes, “Thanks so much for the invitation. The place looks great,” I said looking around to escape his gaze.
“Why don’t I take you around the school and you can tell me what you think?” he opened the door out to the hallway and we started walking down the hallway together.
Even though he was leading the tour, he took his time, walking slowly along the corridor and bending his head towards mine to ask me a question or to listen to my response. We passed a classroom and he said, “That’s Mrs. Martinelli. She is retiring this year and we’re so excited for her. I’m hiring for that position. It’s a first grade classroom,” he looked quickly out of the side of his eyes to check my response. I wonder if he thinking about me and if I’m interested in the position. I’m interested in the position because I want to see you every day.
“That’s great. It’s a loss for the school to have a veteran teacher retire,” I paused thinking, here goes nothing… “But I feel comfortable leading a first grade classroom.”
I could see some tension leave his body after I said that.
“Laura, I’m happy to hear that you would consider that position,” then he stopped in the hallway, “As I’m sure you’re aware, any school would be lucky to have you.” The pause was awkward as he looked into my eyes and quickly looked away. I could hear my heart beating in my ears. Do I take a job to work under this man? The attraction I feel towards him is almost more than I can bear.
We moved towards the stairs and as we descended, my heel caught the second step when I stepped down. The stumble turned into a fall and I reached out in front of me in a futile attempt to grab the railing, but Nick was there. With my left hand, I grabbed his arm and my body crashed into his. He was able to grab the railing and steady both of us. I looked up and in his face I saw an expression of concern.
“I’m fine, I just lost my balance for a second,” I said, blushing.
“These stairs are terrible,” he said as he let go of my arm, after making sure I was ok, “Why don’t we go to my office to continue our discussion. I think you’ve seen enough of the school.”
We walked over to his office and he motioned for me to sit in one of the chairs at a small table in his office. As I sat down, I noticed that my resume was sitting on the table. Nick sat down and picked it up.
“Laura, is it okay if I call you that?”
“Of course.”
“Laura, I’m going to call HR today and tell them that I’d like them to interview you for our open position in first grade. I’m also going to tell them they had better hire you because I think you would fit right in with our staff,” Nick said.
I looked up into his eyes and he made eye contact and we both looked away.
“I’m so flattered. I think this school is terrific and I would love to work here.”
“Phew, I’m relieved because I didn’t want to have you leave this building without me knowing when I would get to see you again,” Nick said, “you know, as part of the staff.”
I looked down and smoothed out my skirt. I didn’t know what to say to that. Had he just showed me his cards?
“Thanks again, Mr. Bloomgren. I can’t wait until the fall.”
Chapter Seventeen
Walking into my classroom the first day was a dream come true. Rows of little desks, a large rectangular carpet, and a sturdy wooden teacher’s desk in the back of the room. I’d inherited lots of materials from the previous teacher who had retired so I rolled up my sleeves and jumped right in to organize the space according to everything I had learned from my student teaching position.
“K
nock, knock.”
It was Mr. Bloomgren, the principal.
“Oh hi,” I said turning to look at him. He was wearing a dark pinstripe suit and looked impeccable as he walked slowly up to me.
“Do you like your new digs?”
“This room is fantastic, Mr. Bloomgren. I love that Mrs. Martinelli left me so much stuff, too,” I replied.
“I have total faith in you, Ms. Roland,” Mr. Bloomgren leaned against the cinderblock wall and smiled, “You blew us away during your interview. You are very well prepared for the 22 first graders walking in here in a week.”
I noticed that when he crossed his arms in front of himself, his biceps were bulging. He was ripped under that suit.
“I have your class list right here and I want to go through all of these students with you since I remember them from last year and we have all of their end-of-the-year benchmarking results. Do you have a moment to sit down with me right now and talk about your students?” Nick asked, locking his dark blue eyes on mine.
“Of course, I’m looking forward to it,” I smile and look away from his piercing gaze.
We sat down and start digging in to the details of my students, their strengths and weaknesses and how they did the year before. Nick made me feel a part of the team by starting this conversation about my students. I noticed that he was very involved in their educational progress. When he shared information about the students, he was smiling and had a lot to say about almost all of the kiddos. I could tell he really liked kids, but also he really wanted them to do well in school.
Nick was telling me about some deficiencies of certain students and I just started laying out ideas that I came to mind to help them. It was a great brainstorming session, going back and forth riffing off each other.
“Mr. Bloomgren, I’m feeling so energized now!”
“Please, call me Nick,” he said looking into my eyes.
Teach Before You Fuck (Before You Fuck Series Book 1) Page 3