“I hope that if I stay quiet it’ll die down eventually. Even if it happens again next semester, it has to die down.”
“I’m glad you don’t actually have something going on with Jonah.”
My breath caught. “Why?”
“He’s my brother and he’s on my side most of the time, but he can be a jerk, especially to girls. He was a jerk to Audrey, but she keeps coming back. I think she actually likes it, or he was too good in bed and she can’t get over it.”
I shuddered, not wanting to imagine Jonah in bed. “Thanks for putting the picture in my head. Yuck.” A low chuckle came from him, and I looked at him again, hoping to see a full smile. Nope. Just his regular closed-mouth, lopsided grin. “How about you?” I asked. “You guys seem like you get along well.”
“Sorta. Not always. We used to be closer when we were younger. Now we’re too different.”
Strange. I refrained from asking why. Why didn’t he get along with his half-brother? What happened between them that set them apart? Instead, I asked something else. “You lived at The Bat and have a pre-vet degree. Aren’t you going to apply for vet school?”
He shrugged. “Unfortunately, not everyone is cut out for greatness.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s complicated,” he muttered. I wanted to ask him to explain, but I sensed his tension and decided it was better not to push my luck. “Tell me something about Brazil, something that is different from here,” he asked, continuing the conversation.
I launched in a long speech about schools. Most schools in Brazil weren’t divided by grade—elementary, middle, and high school. In Brazil, you could stay in the same school from pre-school to high school. Your parents enrolled you in the one they thought was best, or the ones they could afford—public schools were rare and not the best. There was no school district. You didn’t have to go to a certain school because of where you lived. If your parents wanted to drive an hour to take you to school, they could.
I also told him that teenagers only got their drivers licenses at eighteen. We could also drink at eighteen, and we could vote at sixteen—and voting was obligatory. There was no way around it.
I told him girls in Brazil were becoming too direct and out there for my taste, but still not at the point of being sluts or whores like everyone thought they were. Of course, there were the exceptions—like in any place.
“The country of beer, Carnaval, soccer, and beautiful women,” he said. “That’s what we always hear when someone mentions Brazil.”
“I hate beer so I can’t tell you about that.”
He nodded. “Whiskey girl.”
“Exactly. I don’t really like Carnaval that much. People can get crazy. They drink too much. It’s as if Carnaval is an excuse to be a drunk asshole for five days. As for soccer, I don’t watch too many games, especially since we moved here, but we have our teams and we’re kind of fanatics when it comes to them. Unfortunately, once again, some people go to extremes. There were several bad fights after the fans left the stadiums, which is a shame.”
“Those kind of people exist everywhere.”
Exactly. I thought the same about the lies Audrey spread of me. She was basing them on the fact I was Brazilian. She was applying a stereotype to me. She couldn’t be more wrong.
“As for beautiful women, you just need to take a look at Victoria’s Secret models. I think most of them are Brazilian.”
He stared at me, his face serious. “I have proof of that right here.”
My cheeks flamed and I averted his eyes. What was wrong with me? I had never felt or acted coy. I guess Audrey’s lies were getting to me. I was too worried about making everything worse that I was denying being me. Even here, at the ranch, where I promised myself I would be me and only me.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to put you out there.”
“I know,” I whispered.
I wanted to tell him I wasn’t this shy, that I didn’t overthink everything I did. Not the real me. That me was hiding somewhere and I couldn’t bring her out even when I wanted to. I missed being loud and carefree and happy. I hoped Audrey and her lies didn’t shoo my real self away for good.
The real me would have answered him with something witty, and then, if or when we stopped the horses, she would make a move. She wouldn’t have kissed him, but she would let him know in a subtle way that he could if he wanted to. I inhaled a deep breath and tried finding her. She was too well hidden, or she really had run away.
The lake appeared on our right.
“Come on,” Garrett said, stirring Felicity’s reins toward the lake.
Pepper and I followed them. Close to the lake, he jumped off his mare and tied her reins on a tree branch. Garrett brushed his hand under Felicity’s chin and gave her a kiss. She nickered, clearly happy he was giving her attention. At that moment, I was jealous of a horse.
“Weren’t you teasing me for kissing a horse the other day?” I asked. He showed me the lopsided grin and shrugged. I tied Pepper alongside Felicity, and then turned to him, a little wary. “What are you doing?”
I hoped he didn’t plan on taking off his clothes and jumping in the lake. Well, not that that was a bad idea, really, but I had had one bad experience with this lake already. I didn’t need to repeat it.
He extended his hand to me. “Come with me.”
A little flutter spread through my chest, and I took his hand. He guided me through a few low rocks, then a large tree with branches that extended over the lake.
He circled the tree, until he was before low branches that formed steps.
“Wow, is it natural?” I asked.
“Yup.” Garrett started climbing it, without letting go of my hand.
When we reached the last step, he let go of my hand and hugged the trunk. He scooted around the tree, until he was on the other side, stepping on one of the thick branches that hung above the water. He leaned around the tree and offered me his hand again.
“Come on.”
I took his hand and he helped me to the other side. Then, he sat down and scooted until he was in the middle of the branch, several feet over the water, and enclosed under a dome of the tree crown.
He looked at me. “Aren’t you coming?”
“What if the branch breaks with our weight?”
He chuckled. “Then we fall in the water. Are you afraid of getting wet?”
“I’m not made of sugar.” I had heard Hannah say that before and it stuck with me.
His eyes shone. “Some would argue with that.” What did he mean? What was up with him and these innuendos? “Are you coming or not?”
I shook that line of thought from my mind and scooted along the branch until I was beside him. From here, the water seemed too far below. I looked around, amazed by how secretive and magical this place felt.
“This is amazing,” I whispered.
“Isn’t it? I come here sometimes when I want to get away.”
I looked at him. He was sharing his secret hideout with me. Why would he do that?
“I like it here,” I whispered.
“Me too.”
We stayed quiet for a few moments. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I imagined all the bad things—Audrey and the lies; Jonah and his sudden arrogance and directness; Delilah and her snob self; Molly and the way she kept ignoring me; my problems with my father; and the fact that I not only had to start over, but had to do pre-vet before going to vet school—leaving me when I exhaled. I repeated the process one more time.
I wasn’t sure if it was the place, the company, the determination, or a mix of it all, but when I opened my eyes, I felt a little lighter.
“What are you thinking about?” Garrett asked, breaking a branch half the width of my pinkie from the tree.
“Nothing. And everything.”
He broke a tiny piece off the branch and threw it in the water. “Care to elaborate?”
“I’m just tired of it all. I thought it would be easier to belong, but it’s exactly
the opposite. It’s hard to get up in the morning knowing I have to walk around campus with people looking at me, whispering and spreading lies. I have to be careful with every word I say, with every look I give, with everything I do.”
He threw another piece of the thin branch into the water. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong either.”
“What do you mean?”
“Isn’t it obvious? Mrs. Hudson hates my guts, and I can’t even argue with her there. In her place, I would hate my guts too.”
“But it wasn’t your fault,” I said. Then I slapped my hand over my mouth. He tilted his head to me; his eyes narrowed. “Sorry. Tom told me a tiny bit about you.”
I thought he would be mad about it, but if he was, he disguised it well. “It wasn’t my fault, but I’m a constant reminder of her husband’s betrayal.” He sighed. “My father is ashamed of me, and I believe Jonah puts up with me because he pities me. Thank goodness, Stella moved away after she got married, because that one was actually the worst. And Delilah has her days.”
“I witnessed you two bickering a little, but I haven’t seen one of those days yet.”
“No, you haven’t. Be thankful for that. She’s her mother’s daughter. When the woman is in a bad mood—worse than usual I mean—Delilah can be quite the bitch.”
Once more, I wanted to ask more about it, but thought it was better if he told me on his own. I didn’t know why, but I wanted him to trust me, to want to tell me everything.
The branch creaked and I froze. “Meu Deus.”
Garrett chuckled. “Maybe it’s time for us to go back.”
I scooted closer to the tree’s trunk before I ended up in the water. “I’m going.”
Chapter Fifteen
I ended up sleeping in Sunday, which was actually a nice change. Even nicer when I noticed Molly had already left the room. The whole moving roommates wasn’t going well. I knew she was still bothering the housing department about it almost daily. I guess nobody wanted to change to the Brazilian slut room. Whatever.
At my own pace, I browsed through my notebooks, making sure I was up to date with homework and other projects, and then put a quick lunch together.
It was just past one in the afternoon when I arrived at the ranch, carrying a tray with to-go coffee cups.
Tom stepped out from Autumn’s stall with a shovel. “What, no pastries?”
I smiled. “Be thankful I brought coffee.”
“Well, thank you.” He grabbed a cup and entered Midnight’s empty stall.
“Where’s Midnight?”
He jerked his chin to the back gate. “At the arena with Garrett.”
I dumped the tray in a trash can and walked out, holding the remaining two coffee cups.
Garrett was indeed at the arena, with his arms raised and shushing an agitated Midnight. I took a second to appreciate the beauty of the scene before me. The black horse ran side to side, snorting every few stomps, but his coat gleamed under the sun and his muscles rippled with each movement. Just beautiful.
And just as beautiful was the man trying to calm him down. Garrett, in his usual worn jeans and cowboy boots and hat, was the epitome of coolness. He didn’t look bothered at all by the fact that Midnight, a thousand-pound monster, was stomping around him.
I halted along the fence as Midnight saw me. The horse nickered and trotted to me.
Garrett followed him and offered me a half-smile. “Coffee, good. I need it.”
When I extended the cup to Garrett, Midnight snorted and trotted away.
“What happened?”
Garrett took a sip from his coffee before answering. “Delilah just left, and let’s say she lost it a bit during practice.”
“Oh no.”
“Yeah. She yelled at him and he reared on her. It wasn’t pretty.”
I turned my gaze to him. “Now you’re trying to calm him down.”
He nodded. “Emphasis on trying. We have been here for almost thirty minutes, and I don’t think he’ll calm down any time soon.”
I looked at Midnight. Poor horse. He snorted, flinched, and trotted back and forth as if a ghost was following him, tugging on his tail and wailing in his ear.
“Can I try?” I asked.
Garrett waved his hand to the center of the arena. “Be my guest.” Before I handed him my cup, he wrapped his fingers around my wrist. His eyes fixed on mine. “Be careful.” His voice was low and grave.
I nodded. He released me and took my cup from me.
As I walked toward Midnight, I could still feel Garrett’s touch, his warm skin on mine. A shiver ran down my spine. Shaking my head, I pushed those thoughts from my mind. I had to focus on Midnight. I wasn’t afraid, but a bothered horse could be dangerous and I didn’t want to take any chances.
Midnight saw me approaching, and he gaited to the other side.
“Hey, big boy. Why are you running from me? Didn’t you just come to me a few moments ago?”
He snorted and continued moving away from me.
I never had to break a horse or train a crazed one like Hannah and Leo had done, but I knew a thing or two about horses. Granted, not all of them behaved the same.
In the center of the arena, I found a dandelion beside me. Smiling, I picked it up and closed my eyes.
I wish … what did I wish for? What did I want most right now? For Audrey to stop bothering me; for the students to forget what Audrey was saying about me; for Molly to move out since that was what she wanted; for having more time with Phoebe; for good grades; for Delilah to go to hell and stop harassing her beautiful horse; for Midnight to stop jumping since he was still a baby; for Garrett to find his place and be happy; and for the rumors Audrey spread about me to evaporate so I could actually allow myself to think I could go for Garrett—as if he would have me—and not care what repercussion that would have.
I sighed.
I wish for things to get better.
I blew on the dandelion and opened my eyes to see the white fluffs floating away. Behind them, I saw Midnight standing about eight feet from me.
I smiled. “Hey, big boy.” He nickered, but didn’t move. I took that as an opportunity. Slowly, I approached him. “I know you didn’t have the best day. I’m sorry. How about we forget about that and start over? Let’s pretend it’s early morning. I just got here and took you out to play. How about that?” He snorted and took a step closer to me. I tried to contain the smile on my face to become a loud giggle. “What if I throw in a nice brush time and maybe some tickles?” We were less than four feet apart now. Carefully, I extended my hand, showing him what my intention was. He watched my hand with alert eyes. “Not good enough. Hmm, what if I add a massage to that package?”
Tom walked out the stable door and shouted, “Garrett!”
Just like that, Midnight snorted and galloped away. I turned to Tom with murderous eyes.
“Damn it, Tom,” Garrett said.
Tom raised his arms. “Sorry. I had no idea you were working on Midnight.”
“I know,” I said, watching as Midnight galloped along the fence.
Garrett turned to Tom. “What is it?”
“I need some help here,” Tom said.
Garrett looked at me then back at Tom. “I would rather stay here in case Midnight goes crazy on Bia.”
Tom nodded. “Okay. But I’ll need your help soon, then.”
“Duly noted,” Garrett said.
“Sorry again, Bia,” Tom said, retreating into the stable.
I looked at Garrett. “You don’t need to stay here. I think I can do this without a babysitter.”
His hazel eyes were serious. “I know, but I will feel better about it.”
I tilted my head, wondering what he meant exactly. Feel better if Midnight went crazy and I needed another pair of hands to hold him down, or feel better in case Midnight advanced on me and I got hurt? Well, I didn’t want to dwell too much on it, otherwise I would think of impossible answers.
Sighing, I sat on the g
rass.
“What are you doing?” Garrett asked, taking a step toward me.
I stretched my hand, my palm turned to him. “Stay there. I’m gonna try something.”
His brows knotted in what looked like concern. “I don’t like it.”
“Just trust me,” I said.
He retreated to the fence, but the frown stayed on his handsome face.
I almost smiled. Was he really worried about me? My heart fluttered. That was too cute.
Midnight snorted, catching my attention, and I focused on him again.
I stayed there, sitting on the grass, quiet and almost immobile, waiting. Each one of his steps toward me dragged on for centuries. When he finally was within reach, I lifted my hand, but didn’t touch him. He sniffed my fingers, and then poked my palm with his wet muzzle.
Smiling, I ran my hand under his chin. He took a final step and touched his muzzle on my shoulder.
“Hi, big boy. Are you better now?” He nickered and nipped at my hair. Still smiling, I stood and put my arms around his neck. “I have an idea. You’re probably cooled down by now, but how about we play with the hose like that other day? That was fun, right?”
I grabbed his reins and pulled him with me toward the stable’s back gate.
Garrett was still by the fence. He had a half-grin on. “Incredible.”
I was feeling proud of myself too, though I hadn’t done anything special. It had been all Midnight. For some reason, he liked me. And I liked him.
“I’m just glad he calmed down.”
Garrett fell into step with me. “So, I heard about that deal you tried making with him. Brush, tickles, and massage. Are you still offering that?”
I turned to him and a blow hit my chest. He had this teasing shine in his eyes and a goofy half-smile. I slapped his arm and he chuckled.
“No, that’s just for cute horses.”
He lost the smile and tried pouting. “Damn.”
Damn me. I could bite those lips.
***
Wednesday was Halloween, my second one in the United States. Last year though, we had dinner at Hannah’s, and since she lived on a ranch, no kids knocked on her door.
I couldn’t help but smile while I walked across campus. Everything was decorated, and 90 percent of the students and professors were dressed up for the occasion. It was odd.
Breaking Fences (The Breaking Series) Page 13