He stared at the bowl. “All of them?”
“There will be eleven adults here tonight. What do you think?”
“Credo,” he muttered, grabbing the bowl. “I think we should put everyone on a diet.”
“Right,” I said. “Because you, Ri, Pedro, and Gui can eat any less than a horse.”
“We can. We just don’t want to.”
I snorted. “Convenient.”
The teasing slowed down, and soon we were each focused on our tasks. An hour later, Hannah served lunch and we took a break.
With nothing to occupy my mind, I thought of Garrett and Midnight. Was Midnight well? How was his recovery? When would he be able to jump again? I hadn’t known anything about his health for quite some time and was worried. I wished he had a quick recovery and that Delilah regretted having asked Garrett to buy her a new horse. What was Garrett doing right now? Did he have anyone to spend Thanksgiving with? My heart squeezed. Meu Deus, I hadn’t thought of this before. To me, this was the biggest American holiday, and he was probably alone at his cabin and barely there barn. An urge to take the first flight back to Colorado assaulted me, and I gripped the table to avoid getting up and running to the airport.
Leo’s hand rested on my arm, and I jumped. “Hey, you okay?”
I forced a smile. “I’m great.”
He exchanged a look with Hannah. “If you say so.”
I knew he didn’t believe me, nor did Hannah, but I wasn’t asking them to. All I wanted was for them to respect me enough not to push it. I was finally feeling well again. I was finally feeling like me, like the loudmouth, hotheaded girl I had always been. And that was all I needed right now.
***
At six in the evening, Hannah’s dining room was exploding with people. Hannah, Leo, Hannah’s parents and Hilary, my parents, Ri, Pedro, Gui, and me. We were all around the dining table, drinking and talking and munching on appetizers.
My father and I had barely said hi since they arrived, and we certainly hadn’t exchanged any looks or smiles.
When dinner was served, the guys went to eat at the kitchen table and I went with them.
Ri served a big spoonful of sweet potato casserole to his plate. “When are you going to talk to him?”
I didn’t need to ask who “him” was. I shrugged. “I don’t know. Not now, if I can help it.”
“Why?” he asked, passing me the spoon so I could serve myself.
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“You should,” Pedro said from across the table. “If you’re not gonna talk to pai, then you should talk to us.”
“We’re all ears.” Gui nodded. “You know, if Leo is getting along better with your dad, you can too.”
I glared at them. “Are you guys rallying against me?”
“If it’s the way to get you to talk to pai, maybe.” Ri winked.
I sank into my seat. “I don’t even know what I would say to him.”
“Just reach out to him,” Ri said. “Maybe he’ll do the talking.”
Then we would fight again. I knew we would.
We ate the rest of the meal in silence. Hilary and I helped Hannah to take the dishes back to the kitchen, while everyone else gathered in the living room. Soon, Hannah served dessert and more drinks.
I was about to go to the living room with the rest of them when my father stepped out in the hallway, and we almost bumped into each other.
“Beatriz,” he said as if my name hurt his tongue.
“Pai,” I said, imitating his tone.
He looked at me with his hard hazel eyes. “I’m glad you came back.”
“Me too.”
“I didn’t think this adventure would last this long.”
“O que?”
“I thought that after a month, you would be back home. Bem, took you three months, but I’m glad it ended.”
My jaw fell open. “It didn’t end. I came for the holidays. I’m leaving Saturday evening.”
His face blanched. “You’re going back?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Why, Beatriz? Haven’t you proved your point to me already? I know it now. You’ll do whatever porcaria you want to without my approval. I get it.”
“That’s not the point. There isn’t a point. All I want is to do something for me. To be myself.” Once I said those words, it struck me like a punch. All I wanted was to do something for me and be myself, but I wasn’t being myself. Not in Fort Howell. And only sometimes at Rock Hill Ranch. I wasn’t myself anywhere.
“Did I ever stop you from being yourself?”
I shook my head. “It’s not that, pai.”
“What is it, then?”
“I already told you. A thousand times. But you never listen.”
“You think I’m not listening.”
“Then you just don’t care, but I’ve been saying it for a long time.”
“Stop being childish, Beatriz.”
Irritation and frustration seeped into my chest. He would never understand because he would never listen to me. Not really.
I walked around him. “Good night.”
“Beatriz,” he called me. “Where are you going?”
“It’s none of your business.” I opened the front door, pretending the living room wasn’t right there and everyone was watching me, and marched out of the house.
Fighting the angry tears brimming in my eyes, I ran to the stable and into Preta’s stall.
Chapter Twenty-Five
On Friday, Preta and I went riding before eight in the morning.
I actually had woken at six and wasn’t able to go back to sleep, so I threw myself into action. Better to do something and occupy my head with mindless thoughts than obsess about my life. Even if I wanted to, I didn’t have the energy for it.
With a slice of bread with butter and a to-go coffee mug, I tiptoed out of the house, honestly hoping Hannah and Leo would sleep in and rest a little. They worked hard on this ranch and deserved some peace.
I fed the horses, checked their water, released a few of them into the pasture, and got ready to muck out their stalls, but decided against it, afraid that the sound of scraping the shovel on the ground would wake the happy couple.
The jealous feeling came back and I pushed it away. What the hell? He was my brother and she was one of my best friends. I was happy for them. A little jealous of what they had built for themselves—even though their beginning had been rough. Well, kind of terrible, actually—of how strongly they felt for each other and showed it any moment they could.
I shook my head of those thoughts, tacked Preta, and went out with her.
Preta and I only returned after I got several messages from Hannah, Leo, and Ricardo, asking me to come for lunch. The guys were over and promised me I would have fun. How could I say no to that?
With Leo’s help and a copy of my mother’s cookbook, Hannah made feijoada, and for dessert a cake of negrinho and branquinho—what we called it in the south of Brazil. The dessert made from sweetened condensed milk was called brigadeiro and beijinho in the other Brazilian states. She was truly becoming a Brazilian master cook. If Leo wanted proof that she really loved him, he didn’t need to look further. However, I was sure he knew it, and that he loved her that much too.
Later, we drove to my parents’ ranch, and played with the trucks in the field. If my father saw us coming, I didn’t know, and honestly, I hoped he pretended he didn’t. Hannah went with Leo, and I hopped in Ricardo’s truck. Pedro wanted to drive his truck, but the game was too difficult with four trucks, so he joined Gui with the promise that they could switch at some point. When they switched, I nudged Ricardo until he let me drive for a bit.
After everyone went home and showered, we met again in a restaurant/bar downtown. Meu Deus, it felt so good to dress up and go out.
We gathered around a round table in a corner. Ri and Hannah sat by my side, with Leo on Hannah’s side, Pedro on Ri’s side, and Gui directly across from me. This time
, Leo gave us the okay to order alcoholic beverages. I hated drinking in front of him, but I could use a good dose of whiskey and Coke. Being considerate, Hannah, who I knew loved whiskey as much as I did, stayed with plain Coke with him.
They told me all about them. The practices, the tournaments, the new faces around the polo scene, the ones who looked like serious threats, the ones who would probably be out in one year or two. It was all about polo, of course. I felt like a hateful bitch. I loved polo, probably almost as much as they did, and I had run away from them as if it hurt me. That was never the case.
I just had to find myself. I thought leaving home would be the solution, but so far, everything had gone wrong. When I was in Fort Howell, I wasn’t myself. It wasn’t right, and I had to do something about it. Maybe go back to Brazil? Gui’s parents and his sister, Gabriela, were still there, as were my real, old friends. There, I could be myself again. I could pick up vet school where I left off, without worrying about starting over. I would still be older than the rest of my class, since I had been away for almost two years, but at least I wouldn’t have to go through pre-vet, then apply for vet school, hope I was accepted, and study for another four years. In Brazil, I would graduate at twenty-five. Here, I would graduate when I was twenty-eight.
“What’s the matter?” Ri asked, leaning closer to my chair. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was the oldest at twenty-six and had his head on the straightest, but he was the most perceptive and the peacemaker. Whenever Leo and my father had one of their warlike arguments, Ricardo had been the one to break them apart.
Now it seemed like it was my turn to be in the war zone with our father.
Noticing I had been frowning and gripping my glass tightly, I relaxed. “Nothing.”
“Right, because you have been loud and opinionated, like always.”
I snorted. “Is it that noticeable?”
“You’re telling me you didn’t notice you’re different?”
I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Bia, I know Leo has always been closer to you, and now Hannah, but you don’t seem to want to open up to them, and they’re worried about you. They aren’t bugging you though because they think you’ll react badly and distance yourself even more.”
“Aren’t you afraid I’ll distance myself from you if you push me?”
He grinned. “Maybe that’s exactly what I want.”
I slapped his arm. “Chato.”
He chuckled. “I’ve heard worse.”
I frowned, swirling my glass. The golden liquid slushed close to the brim, but not too close to spill. “How have you been?”
He lifted one eyebrow at me. “Changing subjects, huh?”
“Maybe? Seriously, though, I want to know. We haven’t really talked in—” I did the math in my head. “—three months, and I know you were still hurting from …” I didn’t continue. It wasn’t worth it mentioned Joana.
Last year, all hell broke loose. Hannah’s ex-boyfriend Eric found out about Leo’s past and spilled the beans to the local newspapers to get Leo away from Hannah by making her mad at him. We found out Joana had been involved. The reporters dug up what they could in Brazil and, mad that Ricardo had left Brazil—and her—to come to the United States, Joana told the reporters all she knew about it. And since she had been with Ricardo for a long time, she knew a lot. If she had known Ricardo was ready to propose to her and ask her to come live in the United States with him, she probably would have held her tongue, but it was supposed to be surprise. How would she know? Still, the fact that she would gossip about our lives like that made all of us mad at her, especially Ricardo. After that incident, they never talked again.
He ran a hand through his light brown hair. “Better, I think.”
“Still think a lot about her?”
His bright blue eyes darkened. “Not really. What stayed with me is the hurt. The way she just opened her mouth and told the world all of our secrets will haunt me for a while.”
Understandable. I hoped what Joana had done didn’t mark his life though. I wondered if he would ever be able to trust another woman again.
I reached over and held his hand. “As long as you don’t let it consume you.” He shrugged, and I could see they already did consume him. Droga. I squeezed his hand. “I bet you’ll meet a girl who will knock you off your feet soon enough.”
He scoffed. “No serious relationships for me anymore. Right now, I’m Gui’s clubbing partner.”
I frowned. “Please, tell me you didn’t become a manwhore?”
“That would be going too far.” He looked away. I thought about how to make him keep talking, because he looked like he needed it more than I did, but he raised his hand and motioned for the waitress to refill our drinks. Then he turned to me, his face impassive. “Now it’s your turn. Going to tell me what’s bothering you?”
“Do I have to?”
“Not really. Is it that bad?”
I laughed but it was missing humor. “I don’t know. Honestly, it’s kinda hard to judge anything lately. It seems that being a Brazilian girl is causing me problems. There’s this girl who likes this guy, but they broke up some time ago. The guy hit on me, she got mad, and started spreading lies about me, using my citizenship as an excuse. You know, because all Brazilian girls are sluts.”
He tsked. “That’s ridiculous.”
“You’re telling me? But it only gets worse. Now, each time I do something that remotely reminds her of someone who likes going out or who likes guys—” I widened my eyes. Come on! I did like guys! “—she adds more details to her lies.”
“You shouldn’t have to put up with it. What did you do?”
“Um, I dumped coffee on her head, and punched her face.”
He almost spit out his drink. “Ha, I would have loved to have seen that. Did you break her nose?” I nodded. “Nice. I mean, not nice. But yeah, nice.”
“Yeah, but none of that helped my case. It only made her hate me more and spread more lies.”
“Well, I never saw Beatriz Fernandes cower because of lies.”
Me neither, and that was what bothered me. Why the hell did I care what they thought of me? Being here, it was easy to tell myself I wouldn’t let that happen anymore. That I would lift my chin and confront them headfirst. That feeling was bound to die once I was back there though. I knew that. I would be alone, in a strange place that didn’t feel like home, and the old Bia would slip away from my grasp again. It wasn’t easy to keep my head high in a place I didn’t feel welcome.
I opened my mouth, about to tell him all of that, when a guy stepped behind us. “Hey, the Montenegro crew and—” His dark brown eyes looked at Hannah then me. “—their cheerleaders.”
“Evening, Malcolm,” Ricardo said, turning to shake the guy’s hand.
Everyone chipped in, greeting Malcolm. I couldn’t help but notice he looked like my brothers and cousin. Not his physical appearance—his eyes were dark, his skin fair, and his hair black—but the way he posed himself, and his Tommy Hilfiger cowboy attire.
Guilherme leaned closer and whispered, “He joined the club two months ago, with the Knight House.”
Since Eric had been locked up after trying to kill Hannah and Leo, the club had been after a replacement for him. They had been on the fourth guy before I left. Apparently, this was the fifth.
Leo cleared his throat. “Malcolm, this is Bia, my twin sister.”
Malcolm smiled at me, offering me his hand. “Sister, uh?” I slipped my hand in his and he shook it, maintaining a firm grip. “I’m relieved. The last thing these guys need is another cheerleader.”
“Hey!” Hannah called out. “Who are you calling a cheerleader?”
I smiled at him. “Just because I’m their sister, it doesn’t mean I’m not a cheerleader. I’m just not—” I scrunched my nose. “—that kind of cheerleader.”
The shine in his dark eyes shifted. “That’s good enough for me.”
Pedro spoke up. “Do you
want to join us for a drink, Malcolm?”
“Unfortunately, I have to pass.” He gestured to a table on the other side of the restaurant. “I’m here with my team and we’ve been discussing game play.” He turned his wide smile to me. “Nice to meet you, Bia. I hope to see you at the club.”
I was going to tell him that wouldn’t happen since I moved away, but for some reason, decided it wasn’t worth it. Why did I have to tell him that? I would be back here in about three weeks for winter break.
“Nice to meet you too,” I said simply.
He said good night to the others and walked away.
Leo stared at me. “What was that?”
“What was what?” I feigned innocence.
“Malcolm looked interested in you,” Pedro said.
“And you seemed interested in him,” Ricardo added.
“Oh, grow up, guys. Can’t I flirt a little?”
“No,” all four of them said together.
See? That was why I left. I loved them so freaking much, but they suffocated me. I was twenty-two years old, and they still acted as if I was fifteen and just now starting to go out and discovering how men can be jerks. Spare me.
“Thank goodness you aren’t in Colorado with me,” I muttered, lifting my glass to my lips.
Leo’s jaw clenched. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Hannah placed a gentle hand on his arm. “Leo, don’t. We’re here to have a good time.”
Ricardo slapped his hand on the table. “Hannah is right. How about we play a game. Whoever says something depressing or upsetting has to take a shot of tequila. Except for Leo. I’ll make him drink Dr. Pepper, which he hates.”
Ugh, he knew we all didn’t like tequila, but it should be fun to see where this went.
“I’m in,” I said, determined to resume the good time with my family. “But can we order dessert along with it?”
Ricardo winked. “You read my mind.”
***
Saturday went by too fast. I slept in and woke up to find Ri, Pedro, and Gui helping Hannah and Leo in the kitchen. Hilary arrived right before Hannah served us another Brazilian dish for lunch.
I couldn’t help but stare at Hannah’s sister. At eighteen, the blonde with green eyes was too beautiful for her own good. I hadn’t really known her before Leo and Hannah got together, but rumor had it, she had been a spoiled brat with a loud mouth that rivaled mine. Well, old Bia’s mouth. But the incident with Eric changed her. I got to know her as our families grew close, and she was a quiet, timid girl, who seemed in excruciating pain whenever she was alone with one of the guys. She went to a therapist who specialized in sexual assault victims twice a week, and apparently, she was doing better.
Breaking Fences (The Breaking Series) Page 22