by Mark Mathews
“We can’t go and steal from the sheriff!” Alice was outraged at the very thought, and that was why Garrett couldn’t stand to tell her things. She was a little childish at times. Now she couldn’t even see that the world had changed and they needed to change with it or be left behind. Rather than waste time explaining it to her, he just ignored her outburst, gave her the short version, and then walked away.
“Alice, he’s dead. There’s nothing we can do to help him now, and we need all of that canned food he has in his basement. He doesn’t have as many as I did when this happened, but there’s definitely enough for us to take. Athena and Ben are out getting the truck right now. In a few days, we’re going to be gone and finding a new place to live. Can you help us get ready for this or not?” It was time to lay it all out there and tell her how it was going to go.
“We need the truck to get us to the factories, like we’d planned all along, and then we need to find another place to live where we can sustain ourselves.” He said the last part after a quick “count to ten” method he found himself using a lot more frequently around her.
“You’re right. That’s the best plan of action right now. It’ll give us a chance to get away from all of this and see if it’s everywhere or just in our town.”
Garrett rolled his eyes and clenched his hands into fists. Some days he wondered what he’d ever seen in her. “Besides, it will give all of us a new start.”
That was true. In a new place, he could have a new start. His eyes met Wren’s over Alice’s shoulder, and he gave her a little smile. Wren just looked away. It hurt him to think she didn’t want to take that opportunity to get a fresh start with him, but he figured if he kept on trying, eventually she would let down her walls and give in. He wasn’t a high school boy looking for a good time. He was a man who knew what he wanted in a woman and was going to do his best to get it. His heart already was beating in time to her name, and though he tried rationalizing why it wouldn’t be such a great idea, it didn’t listen to him at all.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ALICE AND GARRETT were sitting on watch together, and Garrett couldn’t help feeling she’d orchestrated this on purpose. He tried to be casual with her, but it was obvious the affair was a silent one. He didn’t really want to talk to her because he wasn’t sure what the safe subjects of conversation would be, and he didn’t want to put her down even more by blatantly letting her know that what they once had wasn’t there anymore. Alice cleared her throat, and Garrett cringed. He dreaded any and all conversation with her right now, but it seemed that he wouldn’t make it through the shift unscathed. The tension was so thick he could have cut it with a machete and still gotten stuck. He hated all the unsaid things that had gone between them, but he didn’t want to dredge up the past. Emotions would make a lot of things seem out of proportion and he didn’t need that headache right now.
“When Brooke and I were gone we, um, had a strange conversation.”
Garrett had a feeling he knew where this was going, but he was playing dumb. He didn’t want to give her more ammunition than she already had. He bit his lip cautiously and waited for the ball to drop.
“She told me that she’d walked in on you and Wren.”
There was a bitterness in her voice. Garrett opened his mouth to say something, but she held up her hand, effectively silencing him. “No. I want to talk first. I know I’m the one who left you, and so I really have no right to ask you to stay with me. I don’t want to be the bitch, but you need to choose. I don’t know if I can go around watching you bounce back and forth between us. I’m not saying that’s what you would do, but I know it takes you forever to choose, and I don’t want to get hurt in the process. Things aren’t going to be easy, whoever you choose, but I would like to remind you that we have a family together and that we were in love.”
She broke off, and Garrett thought about it for a minute. It was obvious that Alice wanted him to pick her. Whether it was because she still loved him or because she wanted a family right now he didn’t know. Having your world changed overnight like she did, she wanted something stable, something that she could rely on, and that was a family right now. He could be a father to their children, but he didn’t know if he wanted to be a family with her anymore. His feelings for Wren were growing steadily and there was nothing else he could do. Garrett felt as though he was being torn in three directions. A part of him went to Alice because of the history that they had. Another part went to Wren because he knew he was falling for her. The last chunk went to his kids because he would be there for them no matter who the woman in his life was.
“This isn’t exactly the easiest choice to make.” Garrett had meant only to pause to collect his thoughts for the next thing he wanted to say, but Alice took the break as an opportunity to argue with him.
“Yes, it is. You need to go with your heart. Go with the woman you love.” Her voice made it clear that she was confident that woman was her. “And if you choose her, you will still be a part of this family. It will be difficult at first, sure, but you’re still their father, and you are still part of this family.”
What she had said meant a great deal to him. Part of him was wondering if she would be petty enough to keep the children away from him if he did choose Wren. He sighed heavily, wishing this watch shift was over already. Granted, he knew that going in the house wasn’t going to get her off his case, or even make the decision easier, but he needed a break away from everything and everyone to think. He hadn’t made a list of pros and cons for something in a long time, but now he was thinking that he just might have to do so. Garrett and Alice used to be able to communicate in their own way, looking at each other and not exchanging any other signs. He picked up his head now, looking deep into her eyes. Alice frowned. The intensity that he put into that look was enough to make her inhale a sharp breath.
“You know what my choice is, don’t you?”
His voice was gentle, and he could see she did indeed know. He just wanted her to say it out loud because sometimes she had to for things really to sink in with her. Alice nodded, looking down at her hands in her lap. It was obvious from her demeanor that it hadn’t quite sunk in yet that she’d lost the battle for his heart. She had said what she had about him still being part of the family because she had thought she had had the “competition” in the bag. Now she would have to stick by what she had said because that was the type of person she was. It didn’t mean she would be happy about it, though. That made him wonder again if she would be petty enough to keep the kids from him now that she knew he wanted Wren.
“Yes. Go and find Wren.” For the first time in a long time, she was silent, and Garrett smiled at her. A real smile.
“Thank you for understanding.”
Garrett got up, opening the door to the house and grabbing the first person who walked by to finish out his shift. Athena looked at him quizzically, but did as he asked. Garrett checked the whole house, including the backyard, and couldn’t find her. Panic set in and he was getting ready to retrace his steps, when he remembered he hadn’t checked her room. Hitting himself on the forehead for being so stupid, he knocked on her door. There was silence on the other side, so he turned the handle slowly and peeked into the room. She was lying in her bed, asleep.
Garrett stood there for a few minutes, watching the light play over her face. It made little shadows in the hollows of her cheeks that chased each other around. The light made the pallor of her face almost glow, making the fringe of her lashes inky black crescents. Closing the door behind him, Garrett almost tiptoed across the room until he sat down on the edge of the bed. Gently, he shook her shoulder until she started to moan and stretch herself awake. When she saw who it was that had woken her, the color and joy went out of her eyes.
“What do you want?”
Wren’s voice was flat, and that cut Garrett to the quick. It was almost like they hated each other, rather than being two people who had shared a magical moment together. He didn’t quite know how
to handle a woman who was being cold and standoffish to him other than to leave her alone. Yet he’d learned the hard way from his dealings with Alice that leaving her alone was the worst thing he could do to Wren right now. Especially with the conversation that he wanted to have with her filling up his head and his heart.
“I just had a talk with Alice, and she told me to choose between you and her. She said she didn’t want to be in the dark anymore, and I sat there for a little while, thinking what I really wanted out of life. And the answer to that…is you.”
Garrett smiled at her, waiting for her to be happy. Her face hardened and she lay back down, pulling the blanket almost all the way up to her chin.
“Get out.”
Garrett was confused. Frozen, he sat there, staring at the cold shoulder that she’d presented to him. He didn’t understand. He’d chosen her. Why wasn’t she happy? It meant that the two of them could be together. Why wasn’t that enough to make her happy? Didn’t she want him anymore? Had he missed something? Was Max maybe the better candidate for post-apocalyptic spouse?
“Wren, I don’t understand. I chose you. I’m falling in love with you and I want to be with you. We can make a new start together. Aren’t you happy?”
She lay there in silence for a few minutes, feigning sleep. He waited, but still she offered no explanation. Tentatively, he reached out a hand and touched her shoulder. She flinched away from him, and that hurt Garrett more than he could have imagined.
“What did I do wrong? Don’t you want to be with me?”
She threw the blanket off of herself so violently that Garrett almost landed on the floor. She was sitting up now, eyes blazing at him, and he knew that if looks could kill, he’d be dying a very slow, very painful death right now.
“I was just getting over you! Why do you have to go and make things worse by trying to tell me now that it’s okay to be together when you basically threw me away after our night together? Don’t you understand what that does to somebody? And why the hell did it take her giving you an ultimatum to decide that you wanted to be with me? If that’s even the truth. How do I know that you didn’t tell her that you wanted her and she turned you down?”
That was a low blow, even for her, but he let it go because she was hurt and upset. He could understand that. Her chest was heaving with the pent-up emotions she was trying to control. Angry tears started at the corners of her eyes, and when she spoke, her voice went hoarse because she was fighting so hard to control it. She didn’t want the rest of the house to hear what she had to say, and for once, Garrett found that he was very grateful. Alice wouldn’t have thought twice about chewing him out in front of anyone and everyone who happened to be around, but Wren was trying to save him some dignity. That was yet one more thing that had tipped the scales in her favor, but somehow he didn’t think that was something he should bring up right about now…
“What do you mean, getting over me?”
That part he really didn’t understand. He could feel her eyes on him at times, and he would go out of his way to be near her, and now it looked like she wanted nothing to do with him.
“I mean, when Alice was throwing herself at you, I realized you always were going to be tied to her in some way because of the family you have together, and the history of your perfect love that she’s always going on about. I stepped aside so you could be a father and a husband, and so you would have the family back that you had started with her before you met me. I did that, even though I had feelings for you, because I thought that would make you happy. Forgive me for thinking that making you happy would make me happy, even if it wasn’t with me. So every day I tried to forget you a little more and a little more. I wanted to see you as the guy who offered me a home in a world that’s gone to hell, and nothing more. I took the feelings I had and I tied them up in a box. I put that box in another box, and so on and so forth until it was buried so far down in me that I couldn’t even see the box anymore. I was finally starting to get to the point where I could see you that way again. I could look at you with her and the kids and not care. I was finally starting to feel numb. That was all I wanted anymore, and now here you are trying to dredge up old feelings because now all of a sudden she gave you an ultimatum. I don’t care what the hell you two talked about, and I don’t care what choice you made. I’m upset with you, I’m over you, and I’m going back to sleep. Now get the hell out of my room before I help you find the door.”
She said it all with anger and conviction, but the tears that kept threatening to fall gave Garrett hope that she didn’t mean any of it. He just wanted to be with her and spend the rest of his life making her happy. That thought was suddenly in his head, unprovoked, but he immediately knew that it was true. He decided to honor her wishes and leave the room. He would tell her how he felt later, when she was calm and hopefully more receptive.
For now, all he really could do was hope she would give him the chance to talk it out with her and let him tell her why it seemed that he’d been unsure. If she just would give him the chance, he could clear it all up with her, and hopefully, they could start fresh. They were so perfect together because of so many different things. It really would kill off some of his insides if he lost her. That was a new feeling to him, because he’d thought all of him had died inside when Alice had left him. He was starting to find that his feelings for Wren were on a completely different level than the ones he’d felt for Alice.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“ALRIGHT, we’re all packed up. We’re going to be heading out in a little while to go find that truck.”
Athena was twisting her long hair up into a braid, doing her best to keep it off the back of her neck. It was so hot out that sweat already was beading on her brow, and she’d just stepped outside. The summer really was the worst, Garrett thought. No relief from the heat and humidity. Shaking his head, he chuckled bitterly to himself. He was sure that he would be thinking the opposite when winter came. How would he keep his family safe and warm? Open fires seemed to be the answer, but with a baby around, that might not be the safest. He shook his head to clear it. He would cross that bridge when he came to it. Right now he had other worries. Ben was loading a few extra magazines and clipping them to his belt, just in case. He liked that Ben was prepared for everything when he went somewhere. Thinking back to the time that they had spent deployed together, he’d had his ass saved once or twice because of some random thing that Ben had packed when everyone else hadn’t thought to bring it. Alice came down the stairs, a backpack on her shoulders, and a gun on her hip. It was such an odd sight that Garrett stared.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Athena asked the question before Garrett had a chance to do so. “We can’t have too many people out of the fort at once. It would compromise our protection.”
Garrett didn’t really count Alice as an asset except for taking care of the children. So he didn’t really see any reason for her not to go wherever she was going, but he would have to give her someone as a bodyguard to keep her safe. Doing that would cut down on the manpower to take care of the people living in his house.
“I’m going with you two.”
The statement struck all three of them dumb, and they stared at her, jaws agape. If Garrett hadn’t been one of the guys doing the staring, he would have thought it was very funny indeed. As it was, all he could think about was that he wouldn’t have to spare a body to protect her because she would have two very capable rangers with her.
“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. We’ll give you guys a minute to talk it over.” Athena grabbed Ben’s hand and pulled him away so Alice and Garrett could have some privacy.
“I have to say that I’m with Athena on this one. I’m not sure what you’re trying to prove, but you told me to make my choice, and I have. Trying to change my mind isn’t going to work.”
He felt bad saying it, but it was true. Even though Wren wasn’t exactly receptive toward his advances right now, he still had to follow his feelings, and
his feelings were for her. He couldn’t help but feel she just was trying to emulate Wren to make him think twice about his choice. It was a low blow, and a trick he hadn’t thought her capable of, but then again, she’d never failed to get her way…until now.
“That might be true, but I have to get out of here for a few days. I need some time to adjust. I’m not trying to change your mind at all, I’m trying to come to terms with it, actually.”
He expected some bite to her words, but he found that there was only a disappointed sadness. He felt like a complete jerk, thinking that she was hung up on him. What kind of man was he? Could he really have been so vain as to think that she would want to fight for him? After all, he hadn’t fought for her…
“Just be careful out there, okay? The kids still need their mother, even if we aren’t together. Don’t make me a single parent.”
He’d meant it as a joke, but he could see there had been a hidden barb in his words. She was afraid Wren would take her place if she didn’t come back. That was easily visible in her eyes, and it made Garrett feel even worse for what he’d said to her. He really needed to think things through before he spoke. That always had been a problem for him, but now it was hurting people around him.
“Don’t worry about me.”
She kissed him on the cheek and headed out to the front yard to wait for Athena and Ben. Garrett watched her for a few more minutes, then went back into the house. The couple came through the door with Max on their heels, laughing and joking with them. When the couple set out to meet Alice, Max hung back, waving at them. Garrett sighed heavily as they went out of his line of sight. Max whistled low and put his hands behind his back. He swung his gaze over to Garrett.