by Trina M. Lee
“I wish you would stop being so hard on yourself,” I said, reaching to touch a bruise near his eye. “None of this is your fault.”
He gave me a studious look, long and hard. “And, I wish that you would start being a little harder on me. When did you get so soft, Alexa? You’re usually such a hard ass.”
I frowned and pursed my lips. “Thanks, I think. But, I’m serious.”
“Yeah, so am I. He hurt you and your wolf. Because of me.”
A sound in the hallway caught our attention as Shaz rounded the corner. He paused in the entry, an anxious look on his beautiful face. I hadn’t noticed the water in the shower had turned off.
He was clad in only a pair of grey track pants from a stash in Raoul’s bottom dresser drawer. His skin was exceptionally white, making the vampire bite stand out starkly red in contrast along with the facial cuts and bruises from fighting. The mess of white hair on his head stood up in every direction. I found it as endearing as it was sexy.
I held a hand out to him, beckoning him to come to me. After a fleeting look at each of us, he slowly made his way across the room. Going down on his knees before us, he threw his arms around my waist and put his head in my lap.
A glance at Arys revealed a mask of guilt where his enticing grin should have been.
His eyes were fixated on Shaz, and for once, there was no animosity behind them. Call me crazy, but I got the strangest feeling then that the vampire had the urge to touch the head of soft platinum hair resting on my thighs.
The moment should have been awkward, and I kept expecting it to be. Yet, it wasn’t.
It felt strangely peaceful despite the fact that we all seemed to be waiting for the weirdness.
I stroked the side of Shaz’ face as I scrutinized the cuts and bruises from his round with Harley. It could have been much worse, but he still looked pretty damn rough. Arys sat tensely beside me. Arys broke the silence first.
“I should have let you kill him, Alexa.” Regret, so much regret, filled Arys, and there was nothing I could do to ease that ache.
“No, you shouldn’t have. You have your reasons, and you don’t owe me any explanations.”
“He’s right, Lex,” Shaz’ voice was so low it was almost inaudible. “He shouldn’t have stopped you.”
I opened my mouth to protest but was interrupted by Arys’ velvet smooth chuckle.
“This is one time I agree with you whole heartedly, wolf. Let’s make a note of it. It may be the only time.”
To my surprise, Shaz laughed lightly, and there was a strange sense of camaraderie between them. I was reminded that they’d obviously had their time alone together lately while saving my ass … twice.
Arys shifted closer on the bed so that he could slip an arm around me. The touch of both my wolf and my vampire brought forth a flurry of memories as I flashed back to the sensation of both of their hands on me in the same moment. I flushed with heat and prayed neither of them would notice.
“I’m sorry,” Arys said before daring to briefly lay his free hand on Shaz’ bare shoulder. “I know it’s my fault for what he did to each of you. There is no excuse for what happened tonight.”
At first, Shaz was silent, and I assumed he was trying to keep quiet because he had nothing nice to say to that. I leaned into Arys, resting my head against his.
“Nobody is blaming you for Harley’s actions, Arys. He is his own person. Albeit, a disgusting and pathetic excuse for one.”
“It’s over,” Shaz said then, lifting his head to meet the vampire’s gaze. “Let’s just call it water under the bridge.”
Something passed between them, and I started to feel like I was the odd one out.
Then Arys simply gave a nod of his dark head, and that was that.
“If I don’t get out of here, I’m never going to beat the sun.” His arm tightened around my waist as I ran my fingers through Shaz’ tousled hair. “But, I don’t want to leave your side.”
I didn’t want him to go either. The tightness in my gut made me never want to allow either of them out of my sight again. How unfortunately unrealistic.
“Then stay.” The words just kind of fell out of me before I could censor them. “I mean, you don’t have to go. You’re safe here.”
He seemed to consider this while I felt awkward and silly. Shaz remained expressionless, waiting for Arys’ reply. They stared at one another, and I realized Arys was awaiting the white wolf’s permission. Uncanny.
My throat was dry, and it hurt when I swallowed. I didn’t notice that I was holding my breath until Shaz spoke.
“You’re more than welcome to stay with us.”
As I exhaled, I was awash with relief. I’d been worried Shaz would leave if Arys stayed. I didn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable, but I couldn’t choose between them, either.
The sudden change in their behavior had me on edge. It wasn’t normal. I think I preferred them to be at one another’s throats. At least it was expected.
Needing a moment alone, I excused myself to the washroom to step into a hot shower. I needed to wash the remnants of Harley from my skin. The shower was heavenly. I easily got caught up in the relaxing sensations as the hot water beat against me. However, there was no forgetting that my two lovers both awaited my return.
Upon exiting the shower, I took a moment to scrutinize my injuries in the mirror.
Arys’ was perfectly formed and not too deep. It barely hurt. The one Harley had left on me burned. It wouldn’t take long to heal, but in the meantime, it hurt.
I couldn't help but think about Harley's assault. Being blood bonded to Arys may have prevented the entire scenario. Since it had first come up, I didn't pay it much thought. Now, I knew it was something I seriously had to consider. It was all I could think about.
The scent of fresh coffee reached me as soon as I left the bathroom. Shaz must have known how bad I’d be needing a caffeine fix. I wandered down the stairs, listening to the sound of two male voices low in discussion. I shook my head in amazement when I detected no trace of animosity in either.
They each looked at me when I re-entered the guest bedroom. Shaz leaned against the dresser with a coffee cup in hand and another on top of the dresser, which he quickly handed over. Arys lounged on the end of the bed. I gave them each a suspicious glance as I accepted the cup of steaming hot java. Precious caffeine.
I was nervous, and try as I might, I couldn’t it from either of them. Did they share a smirk, or was that just my mind running away with me? The approach of dawn instilled an anxiety in me like no other.
“How are you feeling, Alexa? You look pale.” Arys’ lips twisted as he tried to hide a smile. “And you smell like frightened prey.”
“Thanks.” I flashed him a middle finger before sipping from my coffee. “I wonder why that might be.”
“If you’re worried about the sleeping arrangements, I have no problem crashing in the living room.” Shaz looked dead serious, but the glint in his eye indicated that he was teasing.
I tilted my head to one side, appraising him studiously. “Is that what you would prefer, my love?”
The blush that colored his cheeks and sped up his heart rate made me laugh. I raised an eyebrow though when he boldly stated, “Of course not.”
“Then I guess we’d better get settled in.” Arys beamed a sexy smile at me, and my pulse hammered in my veins. He’d abandoned his suit jacket and shirt and began to unfasten his pants. I was left standing there staring at Shaz. I’m sure our anxious expressions matched.
I wanted to ask him again if he was sure about this, but before I could, he raised a finger in warning. “Let’s just get some sleep, ok? Whatever you’re about to say, don’t say it.”
Arys smirked but said nothing. I nodded. I got it. Shaz didn’t want to make this any weirder than it was by talking about it. And, after what happened outside Lucy’s Lounge, this shouldn’t be all that panic inducing.
“Fine,” I said. “But, if you feel uncomfortable-,�
�
Shaz grasped my hand and pulled me along with him towards the bed, almost causing my coffee to spill. The wicked grin plastered on Arys’ face revealed fangs and sent a shock of excitement to my nether regions. Shaz nudged me from behind, causing me to notice that I’d stopped moving. I took a shaky step, feeling like my legs would buckle before I made it any further.
“Is there a reason why you’re looking at me like you’ve just caught a snack unawares?” I gave Arys a dirty look when his smile became a sexy laugh.
“Possibly. Is there a reason why you look like a nervous virgin on her wedding night?”
“Perhaps.” I approached the bed, setting my coffee down on the nightstand while double-checking that my robe was tightly secured. “Don’t try any funny stuff, mister. If you freak Shaz out-,”
Arys reached out in blur of motion, grabbing me and pulling me down on the bed with him. He rolled me so that I was beneath him, his bare chest pressed to the front of my robe. I gave a little squeal as he did so.
“Is it really Shaz you’re worried about? Or is it you?” He nibbled my bottom lip ever so lightly. “Because something tells me that your wolf is probably more game than you realize.”
Shaz coughed lightly, drawing our attention to him. He stood beside the bed, a strange smile playing along his lips. “Actually,” he began, his expression growing serious. “I do have something I want to say, to both of you.”
Uh oh, I thought. Here it comes. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting from Shaz, but it was not at all what came next. Setting his coffee down on the night table, he sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. Arys let me up so that I could face Shaz, my heart in my throat as I expected some kind of bad news. Clearing his throat, Shaz took a deep breath and ran a hand nervously through his hair.
“Lex, I think that you should let Arys blood bond you.”
Chapter Nineteen
Shaz paused, allowing the meaning of his words to sink in. My jaw dropped, and I gawked at him incredulously. “Have you lost your mind? Is this a joke? No, forget I asked. You have to have lost your mind.”
He gave me a small smile, as if he’d expected my reaction. “No joke, babe. I’m dead serious. You’re clearly not safe anymore, and it will protect you from Harley and anyone else like him.”
I turned on Arys, glaring hard. “Was this your idea? Manipulate Shaz into your way of thinking so you can make me more of a vampire than I already am?”
“Of course not!” Arys’ blue eyes widened, and he drew back, shock written all over his face. “I didn’t know what the hell he was going to say.”
“Lex,” Shaz gave an exasperated sigh and reached to take my hand in his. “This is all me. Look, I know that there is a side of you that is all wolf and all mine. I cherish it more than I could ever express. But, we all know there is a part of you that has never been human or wolf. A part that is closer to vampire than anything else. It just makes sense.”
“It would join her to me forever,” Arys interjected, forcing Shaz to meet his piercing gaze. “Beyond death, she would rise again. Do you understand that, wolf?”
Shaz looked down at the floor, and I noticed that his lower lip trembled ever so slightly. My heart broke and I gravitated closer to him. He fixed Arys with intense green wolf eyes. “I do. That’s why I’m saying this.” To me, he added, “It’s your choice.
Imagine what could have happened tonight if Harley had been the one. I just … I fear for you.”
Arys shifted uncomfortably, and I knew that he agreed, despite what he had said before about not wanting to be the one to take my mortality away. I looked back and forth between the two of them. It became clear to me why neither of them wanted to tell me what they'd talked about the night I was attacked in the park. They had talked about this very moment. Without me.
It stung in strange places. Not that I planned to admit it to them. I avoided eye contact with either man by picking compulsively at the fluffy bedspread. Of course, I couldn't really hold it against them for discussing my well-being. But, I was anyway, just a little.
I didn’t want to be bound to Harley, but the real question was about my mortality.
There was definitely an advantage to being able to die twice, but to live as a vampire, for God knows how long, could I face that? Did I want to?
When Arys looked at me, I saw fear lurking in the depths of his ocean eyes. “I don’t want to influence your decision in any way. It has to be entirely up to you. I’m afraid that Harley will never give up his infatuation with having you for himself. Not if he feels he's entitled to you.”
I couldn’t help but remember the sensation of Harley's hands upon me and then his fangs. I had been unable to defend myself. I’d been helpless, and as I recalled how it had felt, I knew I could never allow Harley or anyone else to put me in that position again.
He had enlightened me to one thing though, I had to get more comfortable with my power and learn how to use it to the fullest extent. Harley had so much on me in that regard.
“Would you really want that, Arys? To be blood bound to me until one of us finally bites it?”
It was a crude way of saying things, but I was an anxious ball of nerves. I hadn’t realized I could be faced with a choice like this, at least, not so soon. After tonight with Harley, I couldn’t escape making a decision.
Arys’ voice was softer than I’d ever heard it. “You know I do.”
Shaz sat stiffly beside us. He didn’t seem at all put off by the vampire’s admittance.
Worry and love emanated from him, and again, I wondered how I had gotten so lucky to have someone like him in my life.
I could see Harley in my mind, his fangs sunk into my white wolf. Shaz was Alpha now, and I knew he was everything that meant and more. I had to accept that Shaz was as much a part of the supernatural and its dangers as I was. Doing this would be good for all of us. It wasn’t just about me.
“I said what I had to say. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Shaz pulled me close, pressing the warmest kiss to my lips. The love that filled me was unlike anything I’d ever known, and the power of it brought tears to my eyes. A few spilled over before I could blink them away, and I quickly wiped at them.
“I’m not upset. I’m just overwhelmed by the affection you have for me.” I smiled and kissed him back with the intensity of what I was feeling. “I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Ever since Harley told me there would be others coming for me … I think I should do it. Now. Tonight.”
Arys looked up sharply, a combination of fear and relief in his eyes. “Are you sure?
You should take some time to think it through.”
Shaking my head, I forced back any second thoughts before they could infect me.
“He won't stop, and there will be others. We started this Arys, and we have to maintain it.
I want to do what I have to, to protect ourselves and everyone in our lives. Let's do it …
now.”
Arys was a total fit of nerves, and I couldn’t help but vibe off him. His energy tickled me so that I wanted to scratch, but the feeling went beyond the physical surface of my skin.
I frowned in uncertainty. “Arys? This choice is yours, too. You don’t have to do this if you’re having doubts. We’re only bound by power; we don’t have to come full circle and make it blood and body as well.” It wasn’t like Arys to show this type of anxiety. He was always so cool and pulled together.
“Oh, I’m not having any doubts.” The surprised expression on his handsome face had me shaking my head in wonder. “I’ve never wanted any creature the way I want you, Alexa. It's my control I'm worried about. I don't want to kill you.”
I couldn’t have been any more astounded. Shocked didn’t begin to describe what his words made me feel. I had no control over the sudden increase in my heart rate. “Excuse me?”
His face was a mask of anguish. “The blood bond is so much deeper than anything we’ve ever done before. It’s called the wicked kiss for a reas
on, Alexa. To bond you, I have to take all you have to give but not so much that it takes you to the point of death.
It’s very precarious, and I don’t trust myself to stop if I take it that far.” He gazed down into my eyes, and I saw the predator in him, the one I had seen every time I looked at him before we’d become intimate.
Was I so blinded by lust and power that I had failed to remember that he was a vampire? A killer. When had I stopped fearing him?
“Why are you afraid?” Arys asked with concern in his voice, but there was a new hunger in his eyes. Shaz was silent, but I knew he was watching us with a keen awareness.
“I’m not.” I had to force myself to meet his eyes. “I mean, I don’t know. I think I just realized that even though there's something between us, you’re still a vampire.”
He chuckled, a soothing sound that manipulated my fear into excitement. “That’s what you love about me. The ruthless killer … the darkness. You need that in a lover, because it’s what you are.”
His comment left me unsettled. Shaz stirred uneasily, and I flushed, hating the side of me that went beyond a natural predator. Capturing my hand in his larger warm one, Shaz turned to Arys. “Once you do this, there is no way that he can bind her. Right?”
The vampire stared at Shaz until he appeared uncomfortable. Then he gave a slight nod. “She will be mine, and no other vampire can bind her.”
“Why do I sense a ‘but’ coming?” I asked, watching Arys. His strange mood piqued my interest.
“But,” he flashed a smile at me that made my knees weak. “You will still be a mortal werewolf with more power than you know what to do with, and therefore, still a target.
And, don’t forget, my love; we will be bonded on every level, not just metaphysically.
Mind and body will also be bound in many ways, some of which are unknown to me. I’ve never bound any mortal.”
I touched Shaz’ face, forcing him to meet my eyes. “Are you completely sure of how you feel about this?”