by M. L. Ray
Her voice broke as she ended the last note of the chorus and she hung her head as tears flowed from her eyes. The words of the song having touched a part of her she thought she’d lost along with her mother. Tears that brought cleansing and a release of the emotions that had swamped her since first stepping foot back into Cathedral Hills. The catharsis had been a longtime coming, but now that she had released her fisted hold on her emotions, she couldn’t seem to stop the flood as it burst forth.
“Jenna?” Trey whispered, hearing her voice catch and seeing her shoulders shake as she poured out her grief and sadness. Squatting down in front of her, he reached out a hand and smoothed the hair back from her face, “Jenna, it’s going to be okay.” Please quit crying. Trey couldn’t stand seeing a woman cry, and the Good Lord knew this woman had more than enough reasons to cry a flood of tears!
Jenna looked up, shocked to realize she hadn’t been alone. “Trey? What are you doing here?” she asked as she wiped her tears with her fingertips. Jenna hated letting anyone see her cry. It had taken her months of counseling sessions before she was able to let loose her emotions enough to cry in front of Teresa!
“I thought maybe you could use some moral support on your first trip back home.” He gave her a gentle smile and then nodded to the box, “You were remembering the first time you sang in church?”
Jenna was stunned! “How did you know that?”
“I recognized the song. I’ve never forgotten how your voice sounded that day.”
“Really?” Jenna asked, not believing him for a minute. “I sincerely doubt that. You forget I know how well Michelle sings…”
“But I’ve heard Michelle sing all my life. Hearing you that day was so special. You have such a unique quality to your voice. It’s hard to forget.” It was the first time I really saw you as someone other than Michelle’s school friend.
Jenna looked at him in wonder. Singing had become as much a part of her life after that moment, as writing had been. Until that night when everything about her former life had been taken from her. “Thanks?” she answered hesitantly.
“So, what do you have there?” Trey asked, indicating the open box on her lap and trying to give her something else to think about. Something that would bring back her happiness of moments before.
“Just a box full of memories.”
“Happy ones?” Trey asked, leaning closer to see what was left in the box.
Jenna looked down at the items scattered around and in her lap and then smiled softly, “Yeah. All of them from before…After my mom died I didn’t have anything to put in the box.”
Trey lowered himself down to the floor, leaning his back against the mattresses and stretching his long legs out in front of him. “So, I was worried you wouldn’t come inside.”
Jenna met his eyes, her heart doing a little somersault at his nearness. What’s that? With a little shake of her head, she admitted, “I sat on the porch for a while before I could make myself open the door.”
“But once you did, not so scary?” Trey questioned, reaching out and taking the hand that rested on her lap. He brushed the back of her knuckles in a soothing gesture as he waited for her to answer. Seeing her so vulnerable had touched a place in his heart that he hadn’t even known existed. He didn’t take time to analyze the emotion, but it was more than compassion. Maybe later I’ll have time to figure out what it is.
Jenna wasn’t sure what to think about Trey’s touch. It was soothing, but also confusing and had her stomach doing funny things. As she watched his thumb brush the back of her hand, she realized that what she was feeling was attraction. It caught her completely unaware and she cocked her head to the side as she tried to catalog the feeling and decide if she liked it or not.
Having her teenage years upset so thoroughly, Jenna hadn’t gone through the normal rituals of dating, having a boyfriend, her first love, or her first breakup. Her life had consisted of surviving from one day to the next. Some of the other girls in the facilities where she had become an adult had used their bodies to gain a momentary rise in their living situations, but Jenna had never gone down that path. Not for lack of opportunity, but something inside her had always held her back.
Thinking about it now, she was so thankful for God’s protection during those years of her life when she’d done everything but live as she’d been raised. Don’t start in with the guilt again! You’ve already asked for forgiveness and you’ve forgiven yourself. It’s time to start looking towards the future. Start by re-evaluating your thoughts and be willing to allow for the possibility that things weren’t as you assumed.
Jenna kept up the running dialogue in her head as she looked at Trey and tried to figure out what to do next. After several seconds, she pulled her hand away, placed the keepsakes back in the box and then prepared to lever herself up from the floor.
Trey had already anticipated her desire to get up off the floor and when she started to rise, she suddenly found a set of hands on her shoulders, physically elevating her from the floor and holding her still while she unwound her legs and found her footing. Her body was tingling where his hands held her, and she stepped away from his touch, hoping he would only see it as a natural movement needed to leave the room.
“I’m going to go check out my parent’s room.”
“Okay.” Trey watched her leave the room without meeting his eyes. He had felt her body’s reaction to his touch, and stayed behind for a few minutes to control his own reaction to being so near to her. At the age of twenty-five, Trey wasn’t a stranger to attraction, but he’d watched his parents’ marriage and compared it to those of his friends.
He’d seen the devastation that came with binding yourself to the wrong person, and had determined to wait until the right woman came along before he invested another piece of his heart. He’d been engaged to his college girlfriend, a beautiful young woman from California who had come to Colorado on scholarship, but most definitely hadn’t shared his same sense of values. He’d been sure that she was the one woman whom he would grow old with and had ignored the warnings his parents and his subconscious had thrown out there. He’d been blinded by the feeling of being in love and figured she would fall in line with his value system once they were married and away from the allure of the college party lifestyle she seemed to favor.
Instead of a lifetime of happiness, he had gone on a hunting trip with his buddies, and come home a day early to find her entertaining an old friend from high school. In his bed; in his apartment. He had only recently asked her to move in with him as they finished up the last semester of the senior year of college, and she had convinced him that there was no harm in living together, as they were engaged to be married two months after graduation anyway.
He’d grabbed a clean change of clothes, calmly asked her to remove all of her possessions from his apartment by the next morning, and left the apartment closing the door softly on that relationship. Michelle had been outraged when he’d shown up at his parents’ house.
Trey had learned a very hard lesson and it had definitely stuck with him. He had abandoned his values, to make someone else happy, but the load of guilt that had plagued him each day, had made him miserable. That feeling of being in the wrong, accompanied by the heartbreak of her betrayal had taught him that his values and Christian beliefs meant more to him than any one thing or person. He’d asked for forgiveness and vowed to be true to himself, no matter what!
Taking a cleansing breath, he said a soft prayer under his breath and followed after Jenna. No matter what feelings he might be starting to feel for her, she needed a friend to help her navigate the years of misperception and hurt. She needed the healing of home, and he was determined to give that to her!
Chapter 10
Jenna wandered around her parents’ bedroom, slightly amazed that all of her mother’s things were still in their proper place. Her clothes still hung in the closet. Her wedding ring still sat in the crystal dish on her vanity table. Her favorite perfume was there as
well, and Jenna lifted the bottle and took in the fragrance that would always remind her of her loving mother.
She put the bottle down and walked to her father’s dresser, amazed to see it organized and everything neatly folded in the drawers. When she’d left home, her father had been completely out of control and the house had suffered right along with her. It looks like dad got his act together before he died. That thought gave her some measure of comfort, but it still didn’t erase the hurt he had inflicted before that.
Trey entered the bedroom and watched her look through the drawers of her father’s bureau with a look of confusion upon her face. “What’s wrong?”
Jenna looked over her shoulder and then replied, “Nothing, I guess. It’s just that when I left here, nothing was organized and now it is.”
“Jenna, your dad had a rough few months after you left. About seven months later, he finally crossed the line and Sheriff Watson had enough leverage to insist he spend some time in a rehab facility. He was gone about three months, but when he came back to Cathedral Hills, he had his stuff together once again.
“It wasn’t easy for him to admit to his actions, and he spent the next several months trying to find you. He even made a trip down to the Four Corner’s shelter, but the facility had changed hands and become a State run facility at that time. None of the former employees still worked there, and there weren’t any records with your name on them.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. There were so many kids coming in and out of the facilities, and I don’t think they kept very good records. At least in the State homes. Now the private facility was a different story. They were being paid by the State to take care of us until we turned eighteen and they kept impeccable records. We were worth quite a bit of money to them.”
“That’s a horrible reason to take care of kids.”
Jenna nodded, “That’s why I want a chance to do things differently.”
Trey looked at her and asked, “Care to explain that statement?”
“Yeah, but can we do this someplace else. I’ve seen enough for now. I know I really need to go through the paperwork in my father’s office, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.”
“I think that’s probably a good idea. When are you supposed to be at the Diner?”
Jenna glanced at the alarm clock on the night stand before answering, “In half an hour?”
“Okay. Why don’t I help you lock up here and we can head over there a bit early?”
Jenna nodded and started down the staircase. Together, they locked up the house and then Trey picked up her small suitcase and tossed it into the back of his SUV before walking around to open her door for her.
Jenna looked at him with a raised brow when he stepped back to allow her to enter the vehicle, smiling when Trey merely inclined his head and gestured with his hand for her to have a seat.
Jenna buckled her seatbelt and watched Trey jog around the front of the vehicle. The SUV was top of the line, with leather seats, a sunroof, and what looked like automatic everything. Being Branch President must pay nicely!
Trey saw her watching him and winked at her as he put the vehicle into gear and headed back into town. “So, did Missy recognize you?”
“Not right away. I kind of messed up and called her by name.”
“I don’t know if I would call that messing up. I think maybe your subconscious wanted to know if she would be happy to see you again.”
Jenna thought about that and then laughed slightly, “Did you take a bunch of psychology classes in college?”
“A few,” Trey admitted. “There was a time when I thought I might want to go into ministry and work with youth, but I came home from college and started working at the bank and one thing led to another, and here I am.”
Jenna turned so she could watch him as he drove, "You're, what, twenty five?"
“Yes, why?” Trey asked, glancing at her and then back at the road.
“Well, isn’t that kind of young to be Branch President of a bank?”
“Not really. The bank in Cathedral Hills isn’t considered a very big market, and the only real job requirement was a college degree and some banking experience. I fit the bill and when they offered me the job, I didn’t have anything better to do, so I said ‘Yes’.”
“How long have you been in that position?”
“About a year. So, you mentioned wanting to make sure kids like you had a different experience than you did?”
“Yeah. I was already enrolled in a college program as part of my therapy and trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. After I was notified of my father’s death, I kind of lost some of the ground I had gained. My counselor, a wonderful Christian woman named Teresa, finally got me back on track and helped me make some tough decisions.”
“Is that the woman who has been communicating with the lawyer and bank?”
“She was the woman helping me out. She took another job in Missouri as the director for a faith-based program for teens and young adults with addiction problems.” Jenna tried to keep the sorrow she felt from coloring her voice, but when Trey glanced at her in concern, she knew she hadn’t succeeded. “Don’t get me wrong! I’m happy for her, but she’s been the only thing that kept me going forward for the last two years. I’m really going to miss her!”
“That’s understandable. Have you stopped to consider that coming back to Cathedral Hills could help fill that void?”
“Honestly?” Jenna asked, turning her gaze back to the streets of the downtown area. Trey had pulled his SUV over to the side of the street, and the town’s four blocks of stores and businesses lay before them.
“Yes. I honestly would like to know what’s going on in that brain of yours.”
“Be careful what you wish for,” Jenna told him in a joking tone. “But, since you opened the door…I never intended to come back here. Ever. When Teresa found out about the life insurance policy, she pointed out to me that I could do a lot of good with the money that would be left over. I could start someplace new, and make my dream of helping kids a reality.”
“So you’re still thinking of leaving?” Trey asked.
Jenna shrugged, “Trey, I don’t know what to think. I’ve lived under the assumption that no one here cared about me for years. Horrible years when I would have given anything to hear a kind word from someone in my past. Now, to find out that might not have been the case? It’s a lot to take in.”
Trey laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently, “I know it’s a lot to take in, so I’m going to ask you for something I have no right to ask for.”
Jenna felt the warmth from his hand seep into her arm, “And that is?”
“The paperwork won’t be here until Monday at the earliest. I would like you to realistically consider staying here in Cathedral Hills for the next three days. Get to know people and the town again and really consider if you could be happy here, or if you need the anonymity of a new place to find happiness. Whether you believe it or not, you have an entire community here that was hurt by your father’s actions and everyone felt the loss of your presence.
“I want you to promise me that you’ll take a few days before making any decisions about the future. Including selling your parent’s house.”
“You don’t ask much, do you?” Jenna told him wryly, part of her admitting that what he was asking wasn’t completely unreasonable, but it would also entail lots of emotions and soul-searching on her part. Am I strong enough for that?
Jenna turned to look back out on the streets before her, and then slowly nodded her head. Answering her own unspoken question. Yes! I am strong enough for this, and if things are how Trey said they were, I want to know. God, if I’m not supposed to be here right now, please show me that. I don’t think I could take being disappointed by these people again!
Chapter 11
Jenna walked into the Diner at five minutes to seven, with Trey by her side, and she was ever grateful for his support. Missy had been watching f
or her, and came around to meet her as she stepped beyond the front entrance.
“You came!” she pulled Jenna into a bear hug, squeezing her tightly before releasing her and giving Trey an exuberant hug as well.
Jenna was amazed at how much energy the woman was exhibiting. She was still wearing the same outfit she’d had on earlier this morning, and Jenna wondered if she’d been on her feet this entire time! She looked to be at least five or six months pregnant, and yet she looked happy and rested!
Taylor and Stephanie were already there and came over to give Jenna their own hugs of welcome.
“Welcome back,” Stephanie told her, tears shining in her eyes and a smile upon her face.
Jenna felt her own eyes start to water as the friends she’d thought lost to her forever stood around her, love shining in their eyes and the warmth of their friendship flowing over her like an avalanche.
Jenna let the women lead her over to a booth in the back room, glancing around to see Trey nod his head in her direction as he joined Sheriff Watson on the other side of the Diner. Several other people who had been a part of her upbringing were in the Diner tonight, and as she walked past their tables or booth, they reached out to clasp her hand, or offered a smile of welcome of their own. Missy must have told the entire town I was here!
George was just placing giant platters of his famous Italian Nachos on the table, along with pitchers of soda and sweet tea as the girls entered the back room that was mostly used for larger groups of customers.
He finished unloading the food onto the table and then stepped in front of Jenna and wrapped her in a warm hug. “You doing okay, hon?”
Jenna relaxed in the man’s embrace, finding some measure of peace in the arms of the man who’d been like a second father to her growing up. She nodded in response to his question, and then felt him push her away and tip her chin up so that he could see her eyes.
She tried to hide her emotions, but George Waldrop saw right through her. After looking at her for several seconds, he murmured for her ears alone, “You aren’t right now, but you will be. We’re all going to see to it!”