"Me, too,” she admitted. “Me, too."
He was so close she could feel his exhaled breath against her cheek.
"All I ask is a chance to start over—to go slower this time."
He held her eyes with his sincere gaze. “We need time to get to know each other again, better than before. No secrets. No misunderstandings. Start over."
"No secrets ... , “she whispered.
Oh, crap. He didn't know the most classic and painful of secrets between a man and woman hovered over them like a great, malevolent bird. This moment was likely all the time they would have.
"Sometimes secrets are complex, Reese. Unavoidable. The reasons for keeping seem quiet sound at the time."
He raised a brow. “Here's where you tell me you have another man in the closet?"
"No. Reese. Shut up and love me. Will you?"
He laughed at her.
"Girls like to talk, I thought."
But he obliged her, grasping her hips, pulling her to him in one solid thrust.
She cried out, an unintelligible scream. She brought her legs up and locked him to her, impaling her feminine core with his manhood.
"Reese, Reese."
He tried to pull away, teasing. She undulated beneath him, drawing him deeper inside her instead.
"Wait,” he said.
"Lose control for me, Reese. Please."
He raised a brow.
With her in his arms, he tumbled them to the soft rug on the floor below. They rolled in joyful union, coming to rest with her on top. The quilt left behind on the sofa. “That over-stuffed sofa's too soft for my best performance,” he explained.
"I see."
"You're so beautiful, woman. You take the breath from my body."
Ashley moved against him again. Then with him. “More,” she demanded.
With her request, he lost the last thread of his control—just as she wanted—he surged into her again and again.
"Ashley, Ashley,” he said, his voice low and harsh.
"Yes, love.” Her voice spurred him on, bringing more wonderful, firm thrusts. Ashley arched her back. His expression was serious as he withdrew then slid back into her in a deep stroke.
She opened wider for him, welcoming him, her entire body on fire for him. She moved to entice him, glorying in the feel of his body locked to hers.
"Now, now,” she demanded.
He answered her call, increasing the rhythm to perfection. Then he flipped her over onto her back and they rocked together until their completion burst in sparks of flame around them. The waves of passion arced through them, echoing and throbbing. They lay there exhausted. When her breath returned, Ashley said, “It felt like the first time."
"Yes, it was. I've missed you, my heart,” he said, his breath hot against her neck. He grabbed her close to him.
I love you. I love you. Just in time, Ashley managed to smother words of love against the rough warmth of his mouth.
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Chapter Nineteen
Ashley and Reese greeted his Aunt Pelly two days later. She'd volunteered to travel north from her home in Arizona to help watch Mandy. She drove into Ashley's drive in a long, maroon American sedan of undetermined age. The lady shunned flying. Her car was the prettiest color Ashley had ever seen. A polished classic, the vehicle made Ashley think of a perfect color for lipstick. Aunt Pelly matched the spirit of the car's styling with a perfection that was almost symmetry.
Ashley smiled. A small, white dog with slicked back bangs and a purple bow sat in her lap, peeking out the window with great interest and anticipation, its pink tongue giving the impression of a playful smile.
As she stepped out onto the driveway, the older woman projected elegance. She was as sleek and long-limbed as the car, her waistline strikingly narrow for a lady who must be in her late sixties or early seventies. Her face unlined, and the Kentucky Derby style hat she wore likely deserved credit.
Under the hat, Reese's aunt had silver-white hair.
Ashley caught her breath.
Oh, heavens, the older lady had Mandy's coffee-colored eyes. Ashley forced oxygen in and out of her lungs.
Reese would soon see that Mandy was his daughter.
At that moment, Mandy ran from the porch and rushed up to the small dog.
"Careful, Mandy,” she cautioned.
"Don't worry. He's fine. He loves kids,” Aunt Pelly assured her.
The tiny mutt allowed her affections with cautious, but tolerant good nature, wagging its tiny, curled tail with enthusiasm before stretching trustingly over onto its back, bearing its vulnerable tummy in abject trust.
After a time of allowing its pale little tummy to be rubbed, it leapt up for a game of tag. Mandy tumbled along in its wake.
Ashley watched the child and the dog a moment, but now turned back to the woman whose eyes also followed the child.
Aunt Pelly knew already. That fast. There was unmistakable joy on her face. Joy followed immediately by unmistakable shock.
"The little one doesn't have your name, Reese?” she demanded.
Watching the child and the dog, Reese's attention jerked back to his aunt. Disappointment and pain soaked his aunt's voice. He was torn between telling the truth and allowing her to think the child was his own daughter, as he had with Ash's family.
At that moment, he wished with all his heart Mandy was his daughter. So the latter won out and he chose to let Aunt Pelly think she was his. To say nothing.
At the same time, he found himself shifting the blame to Ashley. Cowardly, but he wasn't proud where scolding female relatives were concerned.
"You've heard about the modern day independent career woman?” He smiled and shrugged as if that explained everything.
He looked at Ashley to monitor her state of mind. Surprised, he found she looked pale, shocked.
No doubt it was hard for her to turn her child over to the care of a woman she'd not before met. But it couldn't be avoided.
"We plan to marry soon,” Reese said with conviction. “I've finally worn her down. I think. Scraps sure has taken to Mandy, hasn't he?"
The older lady nodded her approval, her eyes still on Mandy and Scraps.
"What's the little ones’ name?"
"Amanda. Mandy."
"Well, I must change into something more suitable for playing with my grandniece, Mandy.” She looked down at the designer dress.
In a cloud of numb fear and worry, Ashley led Aunt Pelly to the guest bedroom.
After carrying his aunt's case in for her and giving Ashley a curious, puzzled glance and a quick, reassuring kiss on the cheek, Reese returned to Mandy and the dog, leaving Ashley and Pelly to become acquainted.
"You did not wish to marry my nephew?” she asked in a haughty tone as soon as he had gone.
Ashley was used to the painful questions of single parenthood from assorted relatives. Almost used to it anyway.
One of the first such questions had come from an old school mate. I didn't know you married, the old friend had said when they met in a shop, Ashley with a very small Mandy in a stroller. I haven't, Ashley had answered honestly. Her friend had gone speechless. There'd been other awkward moments after that most memorable one, but fewer as time went on.
In many ways, nothing had changed in society. An unwed mother was an unwed mother even if she was several years beyond sixteen and financially independent. Many believed a child needed the protection of a father.
Reese's aunt was one of them.
"It wasn't that,” Ashley answered at last.
"Oh? What was it then?” Her tone was blunt edged. The woman was prepared to make an enemy of Ashley, if necessary.
Ashley drew a deep, steadying breath. “You don't understand. He let you think Mandy is his, but he doesn't really believe she is."
At the woman's confused look and raised eyebrow, she tried again. “I've let him think she came from a test-tube, artificial insemination."
"Why on God's gree
n earth did it come to this? That child belongs to my nephew. I see family traits in her."
"He didn't want children."
Her eyes clouded with pain. Reese's Aunt Pelly snorted her disbelief but was looking more sympathetic. “Of course. He thought he didn't want children. And I'm not surprised considering his tragic experience."
"What about his experience? His parents...?” Ashley demanded. Her voice was harsher than she meant it to be. She needed a clue to Reese's reluctance to have a family. He'd never spoken of an unhappy childhood. His parents had always seemed pleasant enough, in love and absorbed in each other. She envied that.
"No, he had loving parents, my dear. No abuse or anything like that.” The lady paused, seeming to gather her thoughts.
"So ... you took the child from him without his knowledge,” she stated, her blue eyes accusing.
Ashley felt the blood drain from her face at the woman's accusation. She had not thought Reese's determination not to have children could stem from a tragedy in his past. She dreaded to hear what the awful event had been. Perhaps that explained the pain in his eyes.
Heavens, four years ago, she'd jumped to the conclusion that he simply thought her good enough to bed, but not to have his children. With that belief it had been easy to rationalize not making sure he knew of Amanda, the child she wanted and needed so badly.
"Yes. I would do it all over again if I had to.” Ashley collected herself and answered in an unwavering tone. “I was already expecting Mandy when he told me we wouldn't be having children of our own. What could I do? Burden him with a child he didn't want? When I wanted her enough for both of us?” Tears clouded her eyes.
"I see. Well then.” There was a touch of grudging respect in the older woman's words.
"Are you brave enough to see this through then? To see that that child out there has her father now? Even if the father cannot truly trust the mother?"
Ashley gasped. The insightful observation did not surprise Ashley. She was already beginning to expect such from this woman.
"Yes,” she said firmly. “I hope so.” She tacked on the last part with less conviction.
"I hope so, too, Ashley,” the woman said with a sympathetic smile, addressing her for the first time by name. A truce had been called. “Well, well, I came here today expecting to care for my nephew's girlfriend's child. Instead, I find my own flesh and blood. Any child is a miracle, but what a precious surprise. Talk to him, Ashley. Tell him the whole truth. Soon. Get him talking and telling you about his tragedy. It's not my place to say more than I have, I suppose."
"Yes. I know I should tell...."
"Now then,” she interrupted. “Tell me all about that little girl out there."
* * * *
Two days later, they all sat on the roomy deck attached to the back of Ashley's house. Reese stretched out in a rocker. Mandy lay next to Aunt Pelly on a big, comfy outdoor glider, her small blond head pillowed on the older woman's knee.
Aunt Pelly and the little one napped peacefully. The exhausted little dog was resting, too, with his chin flattened onto Mandy's tiny arm, but his eyes were as alert to danger as any guard dog three times his size.
Reese smiled as he took in the scene. A memory tugged at him. A memory of Aunt Pelly's wedding photo propped up on the parlor mantle at her big house in Houston popped into his mind. Pelly's husband had made a fortune in the oilfields in the fifties. As long as he could remember Aunt Pelly had had white hair. Premature gray. But in that photo there'd been a few swatches of hair visible from beneath her veil. Now why would that particular memory come to him now as he watched these two sleep?
"Mandy loves your Aunt already,” Ashley said from the chair beside him, interrupting the course of his thoughts.
"Yes, and that mangy little mutt."
"Mutt? He looks like a purebred to me."
"Don't be taken in by his sophisticated appearance and blue blood. That little beast can chase my cattle with the best mongrel on the range if he gets loose."
She laughed a laugh as warm as the afternoon sun.
Reese smiled at her, totally entranced by the sound and the love on her face for her child.
"Mandy's good with him."
"Yes, she is."
From inside the house they could just make out the ringing of the phone.
Ashley went inside to answer. It was Reese's parents calling from the airport in Germany. Clay had told them of the strange goings on with his older brother and they were worried. They cut their trip short, and were flying to the states and straight to Ohio.
Reese invited them to a wedding.
When she's turned to go back outside after answering the phone, Reese caught her arm and signaled she should stay. Ashley remained watching in silence, hearing his side of the conversation.
Their impending wedding had taken on a form and life of its own. Ashley looked forward with both joy and dread—impending doom kind of dread—that something was sure to happen to mar her happiness.
Happiness, considering her lack of complete honesty, she didn't deserve anyway. She still hadn't been successful in having that talk with Reese that his aunt had advised. She'd tried twice, only to be put off.
As he talked to his family, she remembered a few days earlier.
"Reese, tell me why you said we could not have children,” she'd asked.
He'd shaken his head sadly. “Doesn't matter now. We have Mandy. No need for more babies."
"What do you mean?"
"That we're blessed to be able raise your child."
Her blood had chilled. “You don't want another child?"
"No,” he'd answered, his expression closed to further talk.
Men.
She took a deep breath now, coming back to the present.
"See you then,” he said to his dad.
For some reason, he still didn't want a child of his own.
[Back to Table of Contents]
Chapter Twenty
"Why, she has your hair, Sis,” Reese's father said as soon as he stepped from their rental car.
"She does indeed,” Pelly agreed, nodding.
Wade Caldwell's smile was huge. “I've wondered if we'd ever have a little girl in the family who'd inherit your yellow hair, Pel.” He was a large man with his son's strong face and he spoke the words loudly. He walked up the brick path to Ashley's porch and bent down. Opening his arms to offer Mandy a hug.
"Hey little cutie,” he said. Mandy grinned shyly and went into his arms as if she'd known him for years. Reese's mother watched the developing scene in speechless immobility, tears in her eyes and her hand over her mouth.
"The hair I used to have before it turned gray. I know,” Aunt Pelly agreed in a voice little more than a whisper.
Aunt Pelly looked to Reese to gauge his reaction.
Ashley did the same. So that's where the blond hair came from. Time moved in an awkward, slow manner, seemed to stop before jerking forward again.
Reese stood frozen, so handsome in the afternoon sun, Ashley's heart ached.
"Ashley?” he asked, his eyes reflecting his dawning awareness. He searched her face for answers. He seemed to hope she'd deny it, to tell him she had not kept his child from him. That Mandy really had come from a lab as he'd assumed.
Ashley tried to plead for understanding with her eyes. Judging from the hard, dark look that closed over his, she failed to get it.
Indignant anger stirred within her. She drew herself up and glared at him. How dare he, he'd been the one to say, I won't have children with you, honey.
"What have you done?” he asked harshly.
His parents, Wade and Stephanie, sensed something wrong between them and remained silent, their fascinated eyes trained on the tableau before them. How like Reese his father was, Ashley noticed. The same dark hair and eyes and the same forceful personality. His mother was as tall as Aunt Pelly, but not as thin. She looked more the part of a grandmother. Her hair was a soft seal brown with streaks of silver and he
r eyes were suddenly sad as though she knew something threatened her son's happiness and she was looking with suspicion toward Ashley.
"Talk to him, Ashley.” The order came from Aunt Pelly as she herded a puzzled Mandy away from the fray. Her expression clearly communicated that she thought she'd dilly-dallied and wasted the precious talking opportunities in the days that had gone before this moment. True. She also read pity in the other woman's kind eyes.
But the woman couldn't know the depth of cowardice in Ashley's soul, she justified. Ashley had tried to tell Reese the truth, but as always she thought more of the precious time she would be losing after he found out than the consequences. And her instinct had told her he was not ready to be a father.
Reese might hate her now.
Help. Your life is blowing up in your face like a valiant and wonderful lab experiment gone wrong and you have no one to blame but yourself, Ashley Wilson, she accused, ruthlessly.
Watching all this drama unfold, Reese's chest hurt, a pulling, tearing pain around the region of his heart. He turned to watch the small back of his daughter ... his daughter ... as she walked hand in hand with his dad toward Mrs. Carson's house. He wanted to call her back, wanted to look at her now that he knew she was his. His and Ashley's baby. This is why the photo on his aunt's mantle had nagged at him, why Mandy reminded him of someone. He remembered a conversation in the car the day they went to the zoo. Children grow at different pace, Mandy, Ashley had said.
Could Mandy be any more important to him now that he knew the truth? Would he love her more? Hell, no.
But God, he needed to see her face right now.
He moved, walking slowly after them, and then broke into a jog. His folks saw his approach and stopped to wait, their expressions curious.
Reese knelt down in front of the little person he already loved more than his own life. She stared up at him with innocent, puzzled eyes.
"Are you going with us, New Daddy?” Mandy asked in all seriousness.
He swiped a tear from his eye. She'd been calling him that silly name ever since he and she had struck their bargain in the early days. She could damn well drop the ‘new’ part.
Reese searched her small face for family resemblance. And now that he knew to look, he found it. Besides Aunt Pelly's hair and eyes, Mandy had something in her patient expression as she waited for him to answer that reminded him of his mom. And he could see something of his brother, Clay's stubborn chin, and maybe his own nose. Oh, dear God. He should have known. Hell and damnation, maybe he had known, just plain refused to believe it.
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