by Cindi Madsen
He pushed the peaches around his tray with a fork. “Okay. We can spend this afternoon broadening your musical horizons.”
“Really? You’ll come?”
“You thought I’d say no?”
“I kinda did. I didn’t think hanging out with me would be worth the hassle.”
“In case you couldn’t tell”—Spencer swept his arm across the empty space around them—“you’re my only friend.”
“I thought you liked being a loner, though.”
His eyes lifted to hers. “Before it wasn’t a big deal, but now that I’ve gotten used to talking to you, I think I’d miss it.”
Liv smiled. But then she realized that meant he was coming to dinner.
With her parents.
…
“My mom was pretty horrified when I told her I had hot dogs,” Liv said to Spencer as he walked her to chemistry. “I don’t see why hot dogs aren’t okay but sandwich meat is.”
“Probably because hot dogs are all the leftover meats of every animal shoved into tube form.”
She stopped walking. “That’s a joke, right?”
“Does it matter? You said you liked them.”
“I did, but for future reference, there are some things I’d rather not know.”
Spencer’s mouth turned up in a mischievous smile. “Then I guess I better not mention the animal fat they inject in marshmallows to make them puffy.”
“Ugh. That is seriously sick.”
He laughed. “I’m just giving you a hard time. Marshmallows are mostly sugar.”
She smacked his chest with the back of her hand. “You’re so mean. Taking advantage of my memory problem.”
“But it’s so easy. And so much fun.” He glanced down the hall. “I better get to class. See you in a few.”
Liv watched him walk away, then turned around and almost ran into Sabrina. Instead of sneering like she’d come to expect, Sabrina’s expression stayed neutral. “So Liv, I think I overreacted a bit.”
Liv looked at her, waiting for the follow-up insult.
“Like I said, Spencer and I used to date, and honestly, I was a little jealous because I thought you guys had something going on. But when he and I were together, he always held my hand or kissed me good-bye, and I can see that he doesn’t like you like that. Guess I got worked up over nothing.” She raised her perfectly shaped eyebrows. “So what do you say? Can we go back to being friends?”
The words took a few seconds to register. And it was hard to focus on Sabrina’s question, since she’d just informed her that Spencer had no more than friendly feelings toward her. She wanted to deny it—she knew there was something there. But any time they got close to taking their friendship a step further, he pulled away.
Her heart dropped. What if she’s right?
“Liv?”
She pulled her attention back to Sabrina. “Oh, um. Sure. We can try the friends thing.”
Sabrina smiled. “And you and Spencer can totally sit by us at lunch.”
“I don’t think he’ll want to, but that’s a nice offer.”
“I’m sure you could convince him, though.”
Convincing Spencer to join the cool crowd for lunch wasn’t at the top of her to-do list. “I’ll talk to him,” Liv said, “but right now, I think we better get to class.”
Sabrina gestured toward the door. “After you.”
Liv hesitated, not sure she trusted Sabrina’s sudden niceness. Better not turn your back on her.
Sabrina smiled again, but it did look a little calculated.
Even supposed friends kick you when you’re down, the usually perky voice added, a cold edge to her words. Then you end up all alone, crying in the rain.
Liv tried to follow the memory tickling her mind. She got flashes of pouring rain, felt the sensation of water running down her hair and soaking through her clothes. Grief slammed into her, so strongly it felt like her chest might split from it. Then as quickly as it had come, the memory was gone, too slippery to hold on to, leaving only an aching heart and a throbbing headache in its place.
…
“I’m so excited,” Keira said as she loaded her books into her locker. “We can all be friends again!”
Liv closed her locker and turned to Keira. “So Sabrina and Spencer went out for a long time, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Were they, like, a snuggly couple?”
“Oh, yeah. Teachers were always after them for kissing in the halls.”
Great. Just what I wanted to hear.
Maybe he just appreciates that you’re a smart person, so he talks to you more.
Yeah, that’s what guys always go for. Intellectual conversation.
“They had their fights, too, like any relationship,” Keira continued, obviously not noticing how upset the news was making her. “I certainly thought they’d be together at least until graduation, and I know Sabrina’s gone out with other guys, but she’s never quite gotten over him.”
The thought of the two of them together made her physically ill. “I don’t think she really wants to be my friend. I think she’s just trying to get close to Spencer again.”
Keira shrugged. “Well, right now, you know Spencer better than anyone else. Do you think it’ll work?”
“I don’t know.” But I hope not.
“Heads up,” Keira said, looking over Liv’s shoulder.
Spencer approached, and while he didn’t grab her hand or kiss her, his smile seemed to echo the happiness she felt whenever he was around. He gave Keira the nod, then put his hand on Liv’s back. “I’ve already wrapped up everything I need to here. You ready to go?”
She nodded and walked with him out of the school.
“So,” she said as they neared the parking lot, “Sabrina informed me she wants to be friends now.”
“Oh?”
Liv studied his reaction, but he didn’t give her much to go on. How did one look when he was hung up on someone else?
That should be easy enough to figure out. I’ll just think of Spencer and look in a mirror. “She said we’re welcome to sit with her and the rest of the group at lunch.”
His expression seemed guarded. “I’ll be sticking to my usual spot, but you can sit by them if you want to.”
“I’d rather sit with you.” She bumped her shoulder into his. “How else am I going to find out everything I never wanted to know about my food?”
Spencer shot her a smile. “I strive to please.” The door to his car opened with a squeal, and Liv sat down. After he closed the door behind her, he got in and turned up the music, a comfortable silence falling between them. As she stared out the window, her thoughts drifted back to that memory she had earlier that she couldn’t quite hold onto. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on it again. This time, she didn’t see or feel rain. She felt the motion of the car under her, saw unfamiliar tall buildings blurring past, then heard a soft female voice, drifting to her from the front seat of the car.
“You’re going to have to take it easier,” the woman said. “The medication will help, but…you scared us, sweetheart. You’ve got to pay better attention to how you’re feeling before it gets to that point. I can’t go through such a scare again.”
A hand squeezed hers. Liv glanced down at the Easter-egg-purple nails, then up to Elizabeth’s face. “I’ll do your chores for you if you need me to. Just don’t pass out again.”
“I didn’t pass out.” Liv could still feel the throbbing knot on her head where she’d hit the tile floor. “My heart’s just a dud.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened and her chin quivered, like she was going to cry.
Liv patted Elizabeth’s hand. But I’ll keep taking the medicine, she thought, and it’ll all be okay. Somehow.
“Liv?”
Liv jerked her eyes open and looked across the car at Spencer, doing her best to act like she wasn’t in the middle of a weird…whatever it was. Her breaths were coming too fast, though, and she’d broken out in a c
old sweat.
“What?” she asked, and the lump in her throat made the word sound squeaky.
“We’re here.”
She glanced out her window and sure enough, they were at her house. All the nerves from earlier that day hit her again, adding to the mess of emotions already crashing through her. For one terrifying moment, she thought she might puke in Spencer’s car.
She put a hand over her stomach and took a couple deep breaths. “Before we go in, I should probably warn you that my parents are a little…different. I’m not really sure how most parents are, but I doubt many mothers carry books around about the human brain or watch surgeries in their spare time.” Especially not while cooking.
Spencer pulled his keys out of the ignition. “She must be really smart.”
“She is. They both are. Sometimes I wonder how they can even be my parents.”
“I think that’s how everyone feels at one time or another.” He reached over and squeezed her knee. “Relax. I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“It’s not really you that I’m worried about.” Liv exhaled and got out of the car. She paused at the end of the sidewalk and spun to face Spencer. “You know how I told you my parents lie to me?”
“Yeah,” Spencer said, drawing it out.
“What if you brought up them working at the Mayo Clinic? And then you can ask why they chose to move here. They won’t expect it, and then you’ll be able to see for yourself how weird they get.”
“I don’t know, Liv. I don’t want them to hate me.”
Her momentary excitement faded as soon as it had come. She wanted answers, even more after what had happened on the drive over. “I’m never going to figure out the truth.” I’ll just be messed up forever.
Spencer glanced at the house, then back at her, and he heaved a sigh. “I’ll try to work it in somehow.”
The stress filling her slowly leaked out of her body. “Thank you,” she said, again wishing she had the guts to hug him. For a moment, they stood there, the hot sun beating down on them. She took another deep breath, walked the rest of the way to the house, and opened the door. “Mom, I’m home. And Spencer’s with me.”
Mom appeared at the top of the stairs. “I’m so glad you came,” she said as she made her way down. “I’m Victoria Stein. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
“Spencer Hale. It’s nice to meet you, too.”
“Go ahead and make yourself at home, and we’ll have dinner in a little while.” Mom smiled, then looked at Liv. “I’ll be cooking if you need anything.”
Liv waited for more, but Mom simply turned and headed into the kitchen.
Well, that wasn’t so bad. Of course, there was still plenty of time for it to sway that way.
…
Over the next hour and a half, Liv and Spencer sat in the living room, sharing his headphones as they listened to the playlists on his iPod.
“I can’t believe you don’t like 311.” Spencer shook his head, like it was the most tragic thing he’d ever heard.
“What’s to like?” she asked.
“You didn’t give them a chance.”
“Four songs was their chance, and they blew it.”
His mouth dropped.
Footsteps sounded across the entry and Dad stepped into the living room. “Hey, Livie.” He nodded his head at Spencer. “Spencer, I assume.”
Spencer started to stand, then got yanked back by the cord still hooked to the iPod and Liv. The earphone popped out and he straightened, extending his hand. “Uh, nice to meet you, Mr. Stein.”
Dad shook Spencer’s hand, then they stood there, neither one looking sure what to do next.
Mom walked in and broke up the quiet. “Oh good, Henry, you’re home. Forty minutes later than you said you’d be, but at least you made it in time for dinner.”
“Had to follow up with a couple of patients,” Dad said. “I was going to call, but—”
“Don’t worry. I remember what it’s like to have patients who need checking up on.”
Wanting to distract from the tension suddenly filling the room, Liv said, “So do you need any help bringing in the food, Mom, or should we sit at the table?”
“You and Spencer have a seat. Henry and I will be right in.”
Liv grabbed Spencer’s arm and tugged him toward the dining room, praying that Mom and Dad would fix whatever was going on between them before dinner. She was already nervous enough about having them in the same room with Spencer—and that was when they were being their versions of normal.
The table was set with cloth napkins and the gold-rimmed china she was no longer allowed to carry in case her bad arm acted up. She pointed Spencer to a chair, then sat next to him. She drummed her fingers on the table, trying to think of something to say.
“Relax,” he whispered, placing his hand over hers. “You’re making me nervous.”
“It’s just that…they’re usually not… But sometimes when it comes to work stuff, my mom seems—”
Mom entered the room, carrying steaming platters, Dad following behind her, his hands full as well. They set the food on the table and took their seats. The first few minutes of the meal ticked by with little conversation; Liv couldn’t tell for sure, but she thought that Mom was probably giving Dad the silent treatment, and in return, he was keeping his mouth shut to avoid making her angrier.
Oh my gosh, this is so uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have asked Spencer to stay for dinner. A spike of panic tore through her. Or told him to ask about Minnesota. She’d gotten so caught up listening to music and being close to Spencer that she’d forgotten they’d made a plan. A plan that was a really bad idea now that Mom was so pissed off. She turned to whisper to him to abandon it, but then Mom spoke up.
“So Spencer,” she said. “Olivia told you about the accident she was in and all the surgeries she had to have.” Mom hadn’t exactly been happy that he knew, but Liv was worried it would come up and confessed that Spencer knew about the accident.
“She told me a little about it, yes,” Spencer said. “She also mentioned that after she recovered, you guys moved here pretty quickly. I’m surprised you wanted to leave Minnesota behind for Arizona. Especially the Mayo Clinic.” He looked at Dad. “I hear that hospital is hard to get into, since it’s one of the top in the nation. I’d think you’d be bored at the dinky clinic here after working there.”
“Practicing at a big hospital can be very taxing.” Dad placed a hand over Mom’s, and to Liv’s surprise, Mom didn’t pull away. “Victoria and I felt it would be better for our family to move here so she could take some time off, I could work normal hours, and Olivia could continue her recovery in a smaller, safer community.” He smiled at Mom. “It’s been one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.”
What. The. Hell.
No weirdness. Totally calm. Nothing like when she asked about the move.
Spencer glanced over, giving her a want me to keep going? look. She felt stupid and frustrated and totally confused.
Maybe I really am going crazy. Paranoia was listed as a symptom for both bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.
“Now, back to what I was saying about Olivia.” Mom leveled her gaze on Spencer. “Obviously, she has to be careful.”
Liv wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. “Mom, we don’t need to get into this. He knows about all that stuff. We’ll be careful.”
Dad opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but Mom shot him a look and he returned his attention to the food. Apparently their warm fuzzy moment with holding hands and talking about their wonderful move was over.
“She’s already been in one car accident,” Mom continued in that stern, on-a-mission tone. “Her recovery was a long process and she has to take medication on a daily basis. If you’re going to be spending time with her, I think you should be aware that not only does she need to be careful about germs and what she eats, but also that drinking or drugs could be extremely hazardous to her health.”
T
he temperature in the room was rising by the second. After being lectured by Mom, he’s never going to want to go anywhere with me again. And let’s not forget the fact that I asked him to interrogate my parents and they passed with flying colors.
Spencer set down his fork and looked across the table at Mom. “I understand, Mrs. Stein, and whenever she’s with me, I’ll take care of her.”
Mom studied him for a torturous, heart-attack-inducing eternity. Then her expression softened and a small smile touched her lips. “You have no idea how glad I am to hear that.”
Liv was glad to hear it, too. But her joy faded as she wondered if Spencer only looked at her as a good friend. One who needed to be taken care of.
I didn’t want to believe Sabrina, but Keira pretty much confirmed what she said. If he was interested, he would’ve made a move by now.
A heaviness centered in her chest. Because she’d been hoping for so much more than chivalry.
…
Liv picked up Spencer’s iPod off the coffee table. She wadded up the headphones and handed it to him, along with his notebook that held the list. “311 aside, I enjoyed the rest of the music.”
“You’re going to like them one day.” Spencer dumped his stuff in his backpack and zipped it up. “Just give it time.”
“Only if you admit you like Katy Perry.” She held up her fingers and pinched them together. “Just a little bit.”
“Never going to happen.”
Liv opened the front door. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Leaving the door ajar, she took a few steps outside with him. “Thanks for being cool about this. Coming over to dinner and meeting my parents.” And please tell me it’s because you want to be more than just friends.
“Honestly, I was a little worried, but it was fine. And dinner was good. But tomorrow, we’re working on your coordination—as safely as possible, of course. I don’t want your mom coming after me.”
“I’m not as fragile as she makes me out to be, you know.” She lifted her chin and put conviction into her voice. “I can take care of myself.”