He looks at me strangely, and I give an embarrassed shrug. “I was distracted; I missed most of the lecture.”
Chris grins. “Girl trouble?”
“Something like that.” He lays his notes out for me, and I snap photos of them with my phone. “Thanks, man.”
Now I’ve barely got time to make it to practice, but damned if I’ll be late after I ragged on Josh, even just in my own head. I don’t know how I’m going to fit tutoring sessions with Amber into my schedule, but I will make it happen. Until I finish seducing her, she’s a permanent bullet point in my planner.
The more difficult challenge is how to stop thinking about fucking her long enough to help her study.
10
Amber
I came really close to skipping my afternoon class. I have never cut a class and never even been tempted before, but after the morning’s events, I desperately needed time to think.
Maybe if I’d taken a long run, or just gone back to the dorm and stared at the ceiling for an hour or two, I might have been able to sort out my thoughts. Doubtful though.
Instead, I dutifully went to the sociology lecture and tried in vain to focus on other people’s problems instead of circling around my own confused brain. I wanted to think about the serious issues facing society today, but instead I kept trying to figure out what to make of Aidan’s kiss and the way he smiled right before he left me.
His behavior seemed so intimate, so personal. He made me feel special, but is he just good at making any and every girl feel like that? And after what happened, is he assuming we’re going to sleep together? He said he wants to, and when he said it, I wanted it too … but I know it’s not a good idea.
My head tells me that I need to resist him and guard my heart, but my heart, and other very specific parts of my body, are sending completely different messages.
I know that even if I spend hours contemplating every detail of Aidan’s behavior, I still won’t be able to figure out a course of action, so I decide to call on an expert. I ask Megan to meet me at BFOC, a coffee shop in the middle of campus. I need to confide in someone.
Once we’re there, Megan talks nonstop and I start having second thoughts. She’s not going to believe what I have to tell her, and if she does believe me, I’m afraid she’s going to be jealous. But I need to talk to someone.
I grab a yogurt and a granola bar from the case. My stomach still feels full of butterflies, and I can’t even think about eating something heavier. Megan orders a chef salad and I wait with her at the counter.
“Want to sit outside?” I say, when she pauses between topics. “It’s such a nice day.” I haven’t actually noticed if it’s nice or not, but I’d like us to have some privacy.
“Sure.” Megan takes her tray, and we pay and head out into the fresh air. It is a nice day, fortunately, with a handful of fluffy white clouds floating in a deep blue sky.
She’s still talking as we get settled at a table under a big pine. Megan’s the type who thinks out loud — about everything. Finally, I get my opening.
“How’s your day been?” she asks.
I pause, take a deep breath, and decide it’s now or never. “I had an interesting day,” I start.
Megan pauses in mid-motion as she’s about to take a drink of water. She can tell from my tone that something’s up. “Yeah?” she says, drawing out the word like a question.
“Yeah … um … there’s this guy …”
“What?!” Megan interrupts. “This is news! Since when is there a guy in your life?”
I peel back the lid from my yogurt, second guess my decision to confide in Megan, and then decide to dive in anyway. “Since you took me to that bar on Saturday.”
“No way! Is that where you disappeared to? Why didn’t you tell me?” She takes another swallow of water and picks up her fork, but all of her attention is on me.
“It’s … complicated.” Her eyes widen and I want to shrink under the table, though a little part of me is excited to have something juicy to share. “You can’t tell anyone, okay?”
Megan arches an eyebrow and looks at me with suspicion.
“I mean it. Not even Eric, okay?” I say.
“Why would I tell Eric?”
Now it’s my turn to raise a brow, my expression making it clear that I’m not continuing my story without a promise.
“Jeez. Okay. I won’t tell anyone, not even Eric. Cross my heart. Pinky promise.” She rolls her eyes and waggles her little finger at me, and I’d laugh if the butterflies fluttering up into my chest would let me. “Now what’s the big secret?”
“So remember right before the band started, when I came in from the patio?”
“You were out there gettin’ some? You go!” She laughs and I start to look forward to shocking her, which I know I’ll be doing soon.
“All we did was kiss,” I say. “But today, it turns out he’s my chemistry tutor.”
“That is so cool,” Megan says. She has a bit of a bless-your-heart tone to her voice, like isn’t it cute that I found a boyfriend. “But I don’t get it. Why all the secrecy?”
“Well, the guy…” I fidget a little and look around, both excited and extremely nervous to drop my bombshell. Finally I lean in and lower my voice. “It’s Aidan Holt. From Throwback.”
Megan’s jaw literally drops. Along with her fork, which thuds into her salad. Then her eyes sweep over me before peering into mine, as if she’s trying to figure out if I’m joking.
“Say something,” I prompt.
“If anyone else were to tell me this, I’d think they were lying.” She lowers her voice to an excited whisper. “You seriously hooked up with Aidan Holt?
“We haven’t hooked up.”
“But you kissed him Saturday?”
I nod. “We kissed today too, and um…” I let my voice trail off. There is no way I can tell her what else went on.
“Get out!” Megan says. “You’ve been making out with Aidan Holt? And he’s your chemistry tutor?”
I laugh at Megan’s outburst, and at the improbability of the situation. It feels good to release the bubble of tension that had built up in my chest.
“I have so many questions!” Megan says. She finally digs into her salad and I can see the wheels of her mind spinning on hyperspeed. I brace myself for interrogation. “How is he?” she asks after she swallows her first bite.
I feel myself blush. “As good as you would imagine.”
“Mmmmm,” Megan says, not referring to her food.
“He’s a good teacher, too. I think he’s really going to be able to help me with my chemistry, but I’m just afraid of what else might happen.”
“What do you mean?” She cocks her head as she eats, and I feel relief come over me now that we’re finally getting to the heart of what’s bothering me.
“Well, like you told me, he has a reputation …”
“Yeah.”
“And I’ve never …”
Megan squints at me, trying to puzzle out my unsaid words.
“I’ve never … you know…”
“Oh.” Her mouth rounds into a little “o” before she nods in understanding. “And you’re thinking he might be the one?”
I stir my yogurt and realize my stomach is not going to let me eat any of it right now. “I’m thinking he shouldn’t be the one. I know this is gonna sound stupid but I want it to mean something. I don’t want my first time to be with someone who’s got women throwing themselves at him every night.”
Saying it out loud brings me back to the same thought that’s been bothering me all along. Why is Aidan coming on to me? If the girls at the bar were any indication, I’m nothing like the women he’s typically with. Surely he sees that. Maybe he’s a sex addict, or he’s going for some kind of record number of conquests.
Megan’s voice brings me back to the moment. “My first time,” she says, “is now listed as the main entry under ‘awkward’ in the dictionary. There was fumbling, there was a condom f
ail — thank god he at least had a backup — and there was a frustratingly quick conclusion, if you know what I mean. If I were you, I’d jump at the chance to get started with a guy who really knows what he’s doing.” She gets a faraway look on her face. “All that onstage sexiness has to translate into some real-life skill.”
I don’t say anything, but I wonder if, when I decided to confide in Megan, I already knew exactly what kind of advice she would give me.
11
Aidan
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hi, Aidan.” My dad’s where I usually find him at night, in his chair, on his laptop. “Did you eat?”
“Yeah, I’m good. I had pizza with the guys.”
“Great.” He turns back to his work and I head to my room. It’s been a typically long day. Work, classes, practice with the band — Josh and Nick were both late today — and now studying.
Thanks to my session with Amber this morning, it’s also been a frustrating day. She’s been all I could think about.
In the afternoon, as I rushed across campus, a head of long, golden-brown hair caught my eye and I turned to stare, but then I realized it wasn’t her. Why has she taken over my thoughts so completely? That never happens. Maybe it’s because I haven’t slept with her yet.
I get settled at my desk, unpack my stuff and am about to open my laptop, but instead I toy restlessly with my phone. Should I? Yeah, why not.
I find her name and only hesitate for a second before composing a message.
Hey, it’s Aidan. What are you doing?
It doesn’t take long for her reply.
Studying. How about you?
Same. Or I will be, in a few minutes.
Well, what are you doing right now?
I picture the blush that’s about to rise under her pale, freckled cheeks, and wish I was with her right now to see it.
Thinking about us in that study room. And getting hard.
12
Amber
I grip my phone so tightly that my hand cramps. Player, player, player! My head is trying to scream its warning, but the rest of me is not listening.
If it were any other guy telling me about the state of his cock via text message, I’d be labeling him a creeper and blocking him, but, dammit, Aidan flips my switch like I’m a fucking chandelier.
How am I supposed to reply? I can’t just go along with everything he does, but I’m pressing my thighs together, encouraging the tingling, throbbing sensation that started as soon as his text showed up.
Finally, I reply. Yeah? Oh, that was really brilliant, Amber. Way to charm him.
He answers, Yeah. Are you getting hot?
My mind says, Fuck, fuck, fuck. See what you’ve gotten yourself into? You are out of your league and over your head.
I answer, No, not me. I’m a good girl. I add an emoji with an innocent, toothy grin.
Aidan replies, I can’t stop thinking about you.
I can’t stop thinking about him either, but there’s no way I’m going to say that. I’d just be getting myself in deeper.
He’s already distracted me all day today, and I need to stay focused. I need to study, and I need to be able to focus on chemistry when I’m with him, instead of getting drawn in by his dark eyes. Hell, I can’t even see him right now and he seems to be working some kind of magic on me.
I say: We’ll see each other soon.
It’s almost a full minute before he replies.
Will you think about me tonight and touch yourself?
Oh god. His typed words send a little shock right through me, straight to my clit. I squirm on the bed, glad Megan is out for the evening. Then I decide to just throw my reservations out the window.
Okay.
13
Aidan
I was already hard as a rock. Amber’s reply just about kills me.
I meant to tease her with my dirty messages, but it’s me being tormented. With the thought of her touching herself, I have to push back in my chair and adjust my cock before I can answer her.
I’m alone in my room and I wish you were here.
Her response is nearly instant.
I wish I was too.
Before I can second-guess the impulse, I dial her number. She answers right away. “Hey.” Her voice sounds breathy, a little nervous, and I stifle a groan, rubbing my hand over the bulge in my jeans.
“I’m picturing you lying on my bed,” I say, and the catch in her breath shoots straight to my already-painful cock. “You’re curled on your side, looking shy, watching me through your lashes, with your hair spread out across my pillow.”
She doesn’t say anything, but she’s right there with me — her breath is fast and shallow in my ear. “I unzip my pants,” I say, matching my actions to my words, “because I’ve got a hard-on the size of the Empire State Building from looking at you.”
I push off my jeans, releasing my straining erection. In my mind, her eyes widen at the sight. “I move closer to the bed,” I say, “and you roll onto your back. You’re watching me. When you spread your legs, I see the damp spot on your panties.”
“Oh, god,” Amber moans.
“Are you alone right now?” I ask.
“Yes.” Her voice is soft.
“I want you to touch yourself.” I pause, and when she doesn’t respond, I continue. “Reach inside your clothes and touch yourself for me.” I hear the faint sound of a zipper beyond her ragged breath in my ear, and I almost explode.
“Are you doing it?”
“Yes.”
“Are you wet?” I ask.
“Aidan —”
“Find your clit. Rub your finger on your clit. That’s what I’d like to be doing to you right now.”
“Oh god — oh!” At first she sounds hesitant, then as she cries out, I know she’s found her sweet spot. I pull on my cock and hope I can last long enough to talk her through this.
“I wish that was my finger on your clit, circling, rubbing, pressing…” Amber’s breathing grows more shallow. “That’s it, keep rubbing. It feels so good.” I have to let go of my cock or I’ll never make it.
“Dip your finger in your wetness, then come back to your clit. Find the rhythm that feels the best.” I pause, listen to her breathing, hear her excitement growing. “I want you to make yourself come.”
I grab hold of myself again and stroke. Fuck, I might have to write a song about this.
“Imagine it’s me touching you, Amber.” She’s practically panting in my ear. “Come for me, baby,” I tell her. “Come for me.”
Only a few seconds later, I’m rewarded with the sound of her orgasm, and it’s the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever heard on the other end of a phone.
“Aidan—” she calls out, and I don’t know how I manage not to come too. Frustration, I guess. She sounds hot as hell, and it’s killing me that I’m not with her, that I can’t see the look on her face like I did earlier today.
I stay quiet for a while and savor the sound of her, the little cries, almost like a whimper as she rides out the rest of her climax.
“How was that?” I ask, though I can tell how it was from what I heard.
“Aidan…” Her breathing has mostly gone back to normal, and she sounds tentative, embarrassed maybe?
“Amber, that was amazing. Next time it’ll be my hands on you. I gotta go now. You sleep well.”
“You too,” she says, sounding slightly dazed.
“I’ll see you Wednesday.”
“Right. Wednesday.” There’s a pause and then she says, “Good night.”
There’s no way in hell it’s gonna be a good night without her here.
14
Amber
There’s no point in trying to study now. It would be a waste of time to try to concentrate on anything.
I get ready for bed and climb under the covers way early, though I’m not sure I’ll be able to fall asleep either. Did I just have phone sex? Did Aidan really give me two orgasms today, without me even tak
ing my clothes off? It all seems so out of my experience that I can’t believe it happened.
I tentatively run my hand between my legs again. Yes, that definitely happened. I’m still swollen and sensitive. God, I can’t believe how I respond to him. Even just his voice over the phone.
I've given myself pleasure before, but my orgasms can be elusive, requiring a lot of work and not usually being very strong. All it took were a few words from Aidan, in his oh-so-sexy deep voice, to make me come. I’m blushing again just at the thought of it.
I slip my hand under my panties to my bare skin and dip two fingers into the wetness that remains. What would it be like for Aidan’s fingers to touch me here?
Is he touching himself now, stroking his hard cock while he thinks of me? Maybe he was already doing that while we were on the phone.
Megan’s probably right; I bet Aidan could show me amazing pleasure. I'd like to do the same for him, but even if I decided to make him my first, could I satisfy him? I'm sure he's used to more experienced girls. What if I let him down? And what if one time together is all he wants? Could I be okay with that?
I adjust my underwear and roll onto my side. My body is relaxed and content but my mind is swirling in confusion.
15
Amber
I manage to get my head back in the game the next day, pushing thoughts of Aidan aside so I can focus on my classes and studying, but the hours seem to pass slowly.
I'm impatient to see him again, but I still have no idea how things will go, or even how I want them to go.
We'll be alone at his house studying tomorrow, an idea that seems far more dangerous now than when we made the plans.
I need to pass chemistry, and I believe that Aidan understands and respects how important that is to me, but that doesn't mean he won't call “time out” and make good on his promise from last night. And when have I been able to resist him? He got me off over the phone, for god’s sake. Every time I see him or even hear his voice, I seem to forget all my common-sense, good-girl precautions.
SPARKED: A Bad Boy Rockstar Romance (With bonus book, PERFECT) Page 4