by Hopkin, Ben
How would Darc handle this? She saw the locked door and the pathway to the elevator door, and all of the sudden they lifted off the ground in a ribbon of light that turned itself around and about in Janey’s head.
And then the answer came to her. She saw the way that Darc and Mala would have to walk and where Janey needed to sit so they wouldn’t see her. She also saw where the big columns were in the garage, and the other cars too.
When Darc and Mala came out of the elevator, he did what the ribbons of light had told her he would do. He hit the button on his keychain that made the car doors unlock. They also made the horn beep a little, but the light had told her that would happen also, so she wasn’t scared.
She waited until the two walked behind one of the columns and opened up the back door to the car. Once she was inside, she pulled it shut as quietly as she could, then hunched down behind the front seat, pulling the blanket over her head. It was a little cramped and stuffy, but it wasn’t so bad.
There was a second, right as Darc and Mala got in the car, when Janey thought she was going to get caught for sure. But then Darc started the car and they were off.
She had done it. She was going out with Darc and Mala. Now the only ones missing were Trey and Maggie, but if they had been here, there wouldn’t have been anywhere for Janey to hide, so maybe it was better.
She hugged Popeye closer to her chest, even though he groaned.
This was going to be so much fun.
* * *
Trey tipped back his glass, draining the dark red fluid back into his throat. It was a cheap bottle of wine, probably one he had picked out. Maggie had much better taste than he did. The fact that she had grabbed this one was proof that she’d been pretty royally pissed off.
Not any longer. The wine was doing the trick.
They’d almost polished off the bottle, and Trey was contemplating going to grab another, when Darc started going off the reservation again. This whole talk-in-your-partner’s-ear thing was turning out to be so much more difficult that Trey had imagined. Mostly because of the crazy-ass stuff Darc was saying.
Darc’s voice rang out in the Maggie’s living room. Trey had put his cell on speaker, but the sound hadn’t been all that great. Maggie had fixed it by placing the phone in a bowl, which had created an amplification effect.
Trey was definitely dating up. Maggie was beautiful, yes, but she was also so much smarter than he was. And without the need to have to check to make sure her fly was up, for which fact Trey was grateful.
In the meantime, Darc was speaking to Mala. It wasn’t sounding pretty, and that had nothing to do with the crappy sound from Trey’s cell phone.
“The young woman you have watching Janey is a user of marijuana.”
Mala’s voice was distorted and faint, but still audible. “What?!”
Trey decided to step in. “Darc, dude, you gotta dial that one back. Unless you want to turn around right now. If she thinks her babysitter’s using drugs, she’ll be headed back to her apartment so fast you’ll get whiplash.”
Darc took the note. Sort of. “I may have misspoken. Her behavior and dress could be mistaken for someone—”
“Do you really think she uses drugs?” Mala asked, her pitch rising.
There was a pause before Darc answered. “No.”
Darc had just lied to Mala. To save someone’s feelings. Well, that, and to keep his date going. Trey was so proud he could barely stand it. He grinned at Maggie, who rolled her eyes at him. But he could tell she was impressed as much as he was. This was huge.
Mala, however, was not convinced yet. “Well then, why would you say that?”
Okay. Now they had a problem. Darc lying was one thing. Darc explaining why he would have lied was completely beyond him.
“Tell her you’re freaking out and you were trying to find something to talk about,” Trey urged. Maggie nodded her apparent approval at what she guessed was his quick thinking. To be honest, Trey was pretty impressed with himself too.
“I was uncomfortable and was searching for some topic that we could discuss,” Darc said. Wow. He managed to take in the meaning of what Trey was saying and then give it back in his own words. Impressive. This thing could actually work.
“I understand,” Mala said after a moment. “But are you certain--?”
“Yes,” Darc cut her off again.
“Okay, man,” Trey spoke into the mic. “That was a close one. Watch the cutting her off thing, but you’re doing great. Now ask her how her day went.”
Another pause where Darc seemed to be translating in his head. “Were your daytime activities satisfactory?”
Maggie looked at Trey and shrugged. Close enough.
Ish.
Trey couldn’t even imagine what Mala was thinking right now. Were your daytime activities satisfactory was not the most romantic thing in the world. But then again, she knew Darc, so she might be willing to give him points for saying something with more that one syllable.
“Actually,” Mala replied. “Today has been one of the most frustrating days of my life. I had to go in to the Department of Social and Health Services today.”
Maggie made a circular hand motion to Trey that indicated that Darc should draw her out more on that topic. Although it could also have meant that Darc should roll over on top of her instead. But Trey went with his first instinct.
“Keep her talking about that, buddy. I know it seems like a downer, but it’ll help her feel like you care about her life.”
Darc took the note. “What happened?”
“There’s a guy who’s been put in charge of Janey’s case who doesn’t like me. He’s trying to make it look like I’m a bad foster mother.”
“What does he list as evidence?” Darc asked.
“All right, Darc,” Trey inserted. “Try not to make it an interrogation. Just let her know you’re on her side.”
Mala cleared her throat before continuing. “That I’ve put Janey at physical risk by allowing her to be present at active crime scenes. That I’m irresponsible because she’s being psychologically re-traumatized.”
“Is this man a psychologist?” Darc pressed further. Wow. That was a good one, and Trey hadn’t even done any prompting.
“No, but it doesn’t really matter if he’s right or wrong. He has the power to take Janey away from me.”
Now Trey had a problem. He was there to try to help Darc out, but hearing the story, he was getting pissed off. What he wanted to do right now was head down to DSHS and punch whoever this was in the face.
“Tell her you’ll figure it out for her,” Trey said. “We’ll write letters and sign affidavits and whatever the hell else she needs us to do.”
Maggie was shaking her head no. Crap. He was apparently giving Darc bad info. And here Trey thought he was pretty good at this whole dating thing. Maggie was waving her hands in all kinds of complicated gestures, but Trey wasn’t picking up on any of it.
Finally, she gave up and just started speaking. “Darc, don’t do that. Tell her that you understand and that it must be tough for her.”
There was a longer pause this time, and Trey figured that Darc was processing the fact that his ex-wife was helping him figure out his date with a new girlfriend. Well, that’s what would have been going through Trey’s mind, at least.
“That must have been a difficult scenario. I cannot imagine how that would have felt for you.” In spite of Trey’s snafu, Darc seemed to be handling this well. His inflection was a little robotic, but that was just Darc.
“Thank you for listening to me complain,” Mala said. “I have to admit, I was nervous you were going to go marching in there, ready to fix everything.”
“You would not have appreciated that?”
“Well, I think it would have made everything worse.”
This was going so well. Trey would have patted himself on the back if he’d been flexible enough. Okay, it was Maggie that had scored that last hit, but still…
Trey l
eaned back in the sofa and cracked his knuckles. Time to introduce a little innuendo, see if they could get the sex appeal meter crankin’. He thought through some of his best approaches.
While he was busy thinking, Maggie got closer to the speaker again. “Start talking about joint memories. Things you’ve done together.”
Mentally snapping his fingers, Trey wondered why he hadn’t thought of that. Brilliant. But then he realized something. Every single one of their joint memories involved blood. Gallons and gallons of blood.
Trey had a feeling that this date was about to go south.
He went to grab another bottle of wine. It was almost certain that he and Maggie were going to need it.
CHAPTER 5
Darc’s senses were on overload. This was a part of the date that he had not foreseen, although in retrospect, it should have been clear. Bands of light swirled around Mala, the other patrons streaming into and out of the restaurant, the restaurant itself. Too much information flooding his senses, and all of it relating to the formless emotional landscape that was always so indecipherable to him.
The ability to process multiple streams of conversation simultaneously was something that had useful applications, especially when it came to detective work. But its efficacy seemed to diminish when it was used for social settings and applications.
The remainder of the car ride had been uneventful, with Darc sharing recollections with Mala of their previous cases they had worked together. It had seemed successful, but there had been multiple interruptions from Trey and Maggie urging him to lighten up on the gore.
That was odd. They had instructed him to recount tales of his time together with Mala. All of those times revolved around horrific murders. There appeared to be some sort of disconnect between what they were saying and how he was interpreting it.
But now they were at the restaurant. As they entered through the door, the sushi chefs behind the bar called out to them.
“Irraishimase!” It was a word of welcome in Japanese.
Darc scrolled through the various responses and landed on one that seemed appropriate. “Arigatou gozaimasu,” he replied.
The chefs looked at one another, and then back at Darc. Their facial expressions seemed blank, which created a complete lack of generated information for Darc to follow. He had no idea what their response meant.
“You don’t actually answer that,” Mala said.
Darc turned to her. “What?”
“The reason they’re all surprised is that you’re not supposed to answer them when they welcome you into the restaurant. They don’t know what to do.”
Trey’s voice sounded in his ear. Shake it off. Shake it off. Take her to her seat and make sure you pull out her chair for her.
That seemed illogical. Mala was capable of pulling out her own seat. Why would she want someone else to take care of that small physical task for her?
But Darc had committed to following Trey’s advice, and so far it appeared to be working. So he led her through the restaurant, following behind the Asian hostess who was taking them to their table.
When they arrived, Mala grabbed the back of her chair, ready to pull it out for herself. But that was contrary to the instructions Darc had received, so he hurried over and snatched the chair from her.
There was a moment where they were fighting to gain control of the piece of furniture, and Mala glanced up at Darc with an odd expression on her face. It was hard to gauge for certain, but it seemed to either be irritation or gastric distress. Neither option was pleasant.
After the brief struggle, Mala seemed to realize what was going on. At least it appeared that way, as she stepped back and gave a small chuckle.
“I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting you to pull out my chair for me. Sorry I fought you. That was very gentlemanly of you.”
Okay, this is tricky, but for future reference, don’t do something polite if you have to wrestle her for it, Trey spoke in his ear. That was information that would have been useful several moments ago.
There were some significant issues with this arrangement. The major one being that Trey and Maggie could not see what was happening.
Maggie. That was another piece of this strange puzzle. When Darc had heard her voice for the first time, there had been another unusual upheaval in his interior emotional landscape. There was no logical reason for any sort of reaction, but he was having one nonetheless.
In the meantime, Mala had opened up her menu and was looking through the options. Darc did the same, seeking solace in the orderly words and numbers that greeted him there. He scanned the document, looking for something palatable, and chose the teriyaki beef as the most likely candidate. For all that Darc had learned about basic Japanese as an intellectual exercise, he had never eaten Japanese food, and the teriyaki seemed nonthreatening for the most part.
By the time he looked up, it appeared that Mala had already ordered her food. The waiter looked to him, and Darc communicated his choice.
“Would you like to share some gyoza for an appetizer?” Mala asked.
He glanced back at the menu and decided that gyoza did not seem to be too unusual. “That would be fine.”
Lighten up, Darc. You sound like a math professor. “That would be fine.” Come on. Trey’s speech sounded slurred. Was there an issue with the connection?
Ha! Teaching. Darc. That’s funny. It was Maggie, whose speech was also sounding distorted. Darc touched his finger to his ear, attempting to adjust the wireless piece without drawing attention to it.
“Are you feeling okay? Is your ear troubling you?” Mala asked.
“No. I am fine.”
Whoa. You almost got busted, dude. Better watch that. Trey started giggling. There was something wrong, but there was no way for Darc to ask what it was without alerting Mala.
Perhaps it was worth a trip to the restroom. He stood up and began walking off, only to have Mala call after him.
“Where are you going?”
“To the restroom.”
You can’t just get up and go to the bathroom, Darc. Tell her where you’re going first. More advice from Trey that would make more sense to Darc if he could answer back. He moved off in the direction of the men’s room, stepping in front of a thin man in glasses who was about to enter.
“What the hell!” the man protested. Darc looked at him, and the man backed down. “Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.” He motioned for Darc to precede him. Darc moved into one of the stalls and locked the door.
Are you trying to get into a fight at the restaurant? Trey demanded.
“No, I am not,” Darc answered back. “I needed to talk to you.”
Oh, hey, cool. I get what you’re doing now.
“There is something wrong with our connection. Your consonants are slurred and your speech pattern sounds altered. Also, you are giggling.”
Heh, heh. He said “giggling,” Trey said, giggling more.
Darc, it’s okay, Maggie interjected. We’ve just had a little wine. Don’t worry about it. Go back and sit down. She was sounding altered as well, but was clearly less so than Trey.
“If you are intoxicated, I am not certain that your advice will be appropriate,” Darc said. The strands of light swirled off the sound waves generated in the earpiece, confirming Darc’s words.
Dude. I promise that my drunk dating advice is better than your normal stone-cold sober stuff. Trey’s volume had risen, as well as his pitch. That could be indicative of irritation or fear. It was likely the latter. Maggie was often terrifying.
Darc, you’ll be fine, Maggie stepped back in, after giving Trey a shushing sound. You’re already doing better than you did on our first date, and I still married you. Just remember to think of what she needs instead of what you want. Got it?
“Yes.”
Good.
Darc moved back into the main area of the restroom, where the thin man was looking at him with a certain intensity. Perhaps he was watching Darc to see if he would wash his
hands? Trey had mentioned that social oddity which existed at restaurants. It was one of the few rules that made logical sense. The destruction of dangerous pathogens on the skin was rational. It was the social aspect that made no sense. Why would someone else care that Darc washed his hands?
He moved to the sink, and the thin man followed, taking the sink to Darc’s right, apparently to do the same thing. Darc leaned over to turn on the faucet.
Hey, Darc, Trey said. Just curious, but what’s the time frame on boob touching tonight? I gotta take a leak and I don’t want to miss it. Darc’s partner started laughing until there was a sharp noise that sounded like a slap. Ow!
“You are acting in an inappropriate manner,” Darc replied. “Remember that I know multiple ways to kill you without being apprehended,” Darc responded.
The man to Darc’s right backed away from the sink, his hands still soapy and dripping. He neglected to turn off the faucet as well. When Darc turned to look at the man, his face blanched and he bolted for the door.
Strange.
Darc left the bathroom and headed back to the table. It was clear that the help coming from his partner was at least partially compromised.
Their food had arrived, however. Darc’s teriyaki beef and Mala’s raw fish. The bands and pathways of light swirled around her dish, calculations clarifying in his mind. There was information here that needed to be shared. Preferably before she began eating.
“Raw fish has been shown to carry anisakis, which is a parasitic worm which can cause extreme gastronomic distress including vomiting and severe diarrhea for up to three days if it lodges in your stomach. If it takes up residence in your intestines, it will need to be removed laparoscopically.”
Mala looked up from her fish, her skin tone changing to a lighter, slightly green shade. She said nothing, which encouraged Darc to continue.
Darc, what are you doing? You took her to a sushi restaurant for crying out loud. Don’t start dissing the chow. And never, ever use the word diarrhea on a date. Trey’s tone was adamant, but it was also clear he was still intoxicated. The possible risks to Mala’s health seemed more important than Trey’s drunken concerns.